Should I have a threesome with my boyfriend even though I hate the thought of watching him have sex with another woman?

Question

Okay me and my boyfriend have been together since 2018 so for five years now. I’m 24 and he’s 25. We meet in college and I took his virginity sophomore year when he was 20 and I was 19. I had sex with 10 guys before him and all of it was casual sex and that even included a few threesomes. Now my boyfriend did have some hang ups and anxiety related to sex so that’s why he was a virgin at 20. Now we have an amazing sex life he satisfies the hell out of me and makes me scream, squirt and shake and we have sex around 3 times a day on the weekdays and more on the weekends. He is absolutely wonderful however there is one issue and that’s that he wants a threesome. I had a few threesomes before with an old freiemds with benefits of mine back in college and with another girl. Now he knew about this even before we had sex but we still had sex. Now while he has asked for a threeosme I told him no because I love him and don’t want to watch him have sex with another woman. I mean he wouldn’t want to watch a guy have sex with me so why would I want to watch him have sex with another woman. We also have an amazing sex life and I am very good to him sexually. I mean I have had sex with him 18 times in one day and literally just had sex with him a few minuets before I started writing this question. However he thinks it’s unfair that I had a threesome with another guy but won’t have one with him. If it means that much to our relationship I will do it even though I hate the idea of watching him having sex with another woman.

Twalli · Accepted Answer

Is he aware that you had a threesome because your relationship with that guy was just sexual so there was no reason to not do it because you didn't love him? The way I see it is that if it's just sex, you'll be more willing to experiment, but if you love someone you're more possessive. Maybe tell him that seeing another girl enjoying him as much as you do makes you feel like you're not good enough for him. Also if you've been doing repetitive sex, spice it up. You just have to make it clear that you used other guys for sex, but you see yourself building a future with him and it turns you on to know that you'll be his first and only.
From personal experience, my girlfriend and I are both turned on knowing that we'll be the only person each other has ever had sex with.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

"he thinks it’s unfair that I had a threesome with another guy but won’t have one with him." That is SO illogical. You probably dated some guys and never had sex with them; should you treat him that same way. If you ever got drunk and threw up in a boyfriend's car, should you throw up in this guy's car "just to be fair?" Or should you insist that if he wants a FMF, that he should also agree to a MFM?

Or maybe he should agree that people are entitled to mature and change their behaviors. After all, if you had not changed, you wouldn't be in a LTR with this guy.

Anemone978 · Accepted Answer

Yes do it.. you owe him because you were a hoe...

razelove · Answer

No, you shouldn't have told him about your past if you wanted to leave it behind you as young as you are though. Of course you having more experience is going to make him feel insecure. Sleeping with you more isn't going to make him feel better there, maybe time would, but in the short term sleeping with more women seems logical.(though you really get experience with women from relationships rather than fooling around)
Regardless, don't force yourself to be in a clam jam if you're not going to be down with it. They can be great if everyone enjoys it, or absolute train wrecks of jealousy and crying within a day if not. If you're not so strict on monogamy and let him stray, that's on you, but I wouldn't expect it to solve anything.
Problems with self esteem tend to just make you more ravenous, looking for more validation rather than get one pat on the head and feel good about it.
Just stick to your bottom lines, and good luck.

RobT312 · Answer

All three people have to want the threesome to have a good time. Regardless of the reason, ot history, if u said no, he should respect that

slatyb · Answer

No, you shouldn't.

MementoMori777 · Answer

I'm ignoring the paragraph, no you shouldn't, keep the relationship healthy and it's perfectly fine and normal to want your boyfriend all to yourself.

Summeroflove · Answer

No you shouldn’t and id he won’t drop the issue. He will probably chest. You said it’s disgusting so don’t do it. Don’t degrade yourself and throw your morals out the window. That is a slippery slope my friend

humanearth · Answer

You know once you have a threesome with this guy. I can tell you really like him and seeing him having sex with another woman. Is going to eat you alive.

My advice is... Don't have a threesome. It will destroyed your relationship

Christoff92 · Answer

Try it out. If that's what you want 😊

Shamalien · Answer

Yeah I think that you’re a dude and that this is fake, but regardless, it is an interesting conundrum. I think if you communicate to him how much of a negative impact it will have on your relationship he will reconsider.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

I merely propose a compromise of not getting pussy and only a blowjob, while you both take turns.

Greenbins · Answer

Thats pretty selfish of you. You had no doing it with other people but not him... I'd be very insulted.

MackBoy · Answer

Let him have threesome and you have threesome, then the problem solved. it should be fair and square between both of you. if he rebels, you just leave him.

MasterKS · Answer

next should be MMF so deal would be equal.

tallblondejohm · Answer

Do it only if u want too with no pressure. But remember ur taking a huge risk

briigantexx · Answer

Dont Do that

babyharper · Answer

Depends, would he let you have sex with / participate with you and another guy?

Anonymous · Answer

I would advise against it if you feel that way.

Anonymous · Answer

I understand both PoV's. I think you should do it. even if it's just to mix it up a little. plus can you say you didn't enjoy those 3sums with other women you've had in the Past?