Should I lose my virginity now?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I place zero value on virginity. Losing it isn't a loss. It would be like wearing a mask over your eyes all your life and asking if you should lose your blindness. You're not losing blindness, you're gaining sight. It would be like wearing gloves all your life and not knowing what it's like to feel a sense of touch with your fingers.

We are designed to get pleasure from our senses of sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch, as well as physicality, and mental and emotional stimulation.

Some people - mostly guys, oddly enough - recommend waiting until marriage. But what do those kind of guys know about female sexuality? Alternatively, guys advise to make sure your first time is special.

I agree with making it special, it possible. It's a milestone in your life; a right of passage into adulthood. It would be nice if the guy lavished you with sensual foreplay until you ached to be fucked. Being super turned on, wet, and relaxed is the best way to make your first experience with penetration pleasurable.

But even if your first time isn't as amazing as you hope, you will at least be past the initial fears of the unknown. Future sex will invariably become better and better.

Also, just as with any activity like sports, art, public speaking, or whatever, you get better and better at sex with experience as you learn about your body.

Sex can be the most thrillingly pleasurable thing we can experience. It can be ecstatic and transcendent; better than Disneyland.

The only thing to avoid, if possible, is being used by some guy who doesn't care about you or your experience.

I always pursued committed, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships in which we were both infatuated and couldn't get enough of each other. Infatuation is amazing. The feeling of infatuation is what people associate with love, even though it is not the same thing.

So don't get fooled into thinking that you have to be in 'love' before you have sex. Get infatuated, instead. Love is something that grows over time as you get to know a person's personality, values, behaviors, habits, lifestyle, etc. You eventually find love with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with by engaging in relationships. It's impossible to find a life-partner without engaging in relationships. And relationships include unbridled sex. If a relationship doesn't work out, at least you gained knowledge and experience and had some amazing fun. Then you wash, rinse and repeat until you find your life-partner.

When they are old, nobody says "I'm glad I never had sex" or "I'm glad I only had sex with one person" or "I'm glad I didn't have sex when I was in the prime of life." On the other hand, sexually active people look back and think "Damn I enjoyed life!" They have treasured memories.

Obviously, you already know that you should practice birth control and beware of STDs. Condoms detract from the experience. So get on some form of contraception like the pill, and take care that guys you have sex with aren't diseased.

So I recommend not letting life pass you by. Seize it. Immerse yourself in it. That goes for everything, not just sex.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Only you can give yourself that answer and only you should take your own advice not listen to other people first of all are you ready second of all who's the guy going to be is it just going to be some random guy if so you're going to be very disappointed probably because 98 out of 100 guys are going to make it all about themselves and not about you and when that happens they're going to get on top of you they're going to put it in and in 2 minutes they're going to be done getting dressed and walking out the door and you're going to be saying WTF just happened you're finished already oh my God and then you're going to be disappointed because it sucked it was no good and you just gave something up that you can never ever give up again so make sure it's with the right person make sure you're ready make sure the person is going to make it all about you this is a very special special moment there's more to just having sex than just sex read back on my answers at least five or six questions and there's a whole post about having sex don't do it not unless you're 100% ready because otherwise you're going to be disappointed for a long time and that sucks should be one of the most beautiful moments in the world with a very special person you're special right so make sure the guys special too it is more than just sex there's 10 times more to it then that

ushagomez · Accepted Answer

Losing it sounds careless. You should choose to end your virginity when it feels right for you. I do recommend it, as I am sure you will enjoy exploring all the pleasures of sex. Chose a partner you like and trust and make it special and a day to remember….

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

Think of it this way. Imagine you already did last weekend and you are remembering back. Was it with someone you were happy with? Because at that point you can’t make changes. Where you are now, you can.

TheBigWhistle · Answer

Now? No. Definitely not. You should wait till next Tuesday, around 4 in the late afternoon. 4:15 if there is traffic.

CindyRuns · Answer

If you need to ask, the right answer is probably no.

Adititte · Answer

It depends if you want to lose it. If you do you should look for a person you trust and that you like and not go for a random guy

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

That's entirely up to you; a very personal choice

summiter · Answer

Wait for the right guy at the right time in your life. Never forget to use condoms every time!

Guffrus · Answer

Well not right this minute; you don't even know where i live and I've still got my pants on.

modeve · Answer

If you can't control yourself, go ahead but "first" one should not be selected in hurry.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Sure! Come on over! I'll take it!

DavidRaul · Answer

If you are ready, sure. But if you haven't met the right guy, i would suggest you abstain yourself from indulging in an intimate experience.

genericname85 · Answer

i don't believe that thinking of virginity as "something you lose" is good. i think the experience you get is rather something you gain. so if you like the guy and you at least somewhat trust him, why not?

_Just_A_girl_ · Answer

After 26 you'll wish it was then you did bc why with an immature high schooler or college frat boy?

JPresidente · Answer

I would save that V card until marriage or you are absolutely in love with this person and they are a unicorn.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

With the right person yes otherwise no

DiegoO · Answer

Why you want to do it?

BobbieBoy666 · Answer

Save your self for marriage. Stay a Virgin.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Go for it. You're probably going to do it anyway, no matter what anyone says.

Wise4myage · Answer

Give us more context please. Like who's the guy and how long has you known him?

Philyouup · Answer

you should have your first experience when it feels right.

Twalli · Answer

You shouldn't choose a time period. Lose it when you feel comfortable doing it with the guy you are with

shanshu · Answer

It's your choice either your ready or not your first time is never great due the the hymen break and buildup in your mind, so don't expect too much

Should I lose my virginity now?

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