Should I lose my virginity to someone I'm not dating?

[Anonymous]

Okay, so I've been speaking to this guy via messages for 3 months nearly everyday. I admit I started to like him, and just recently I met him in person and we've continued speaking. He says he's interested in me and even said maybe we'll be more than whatever it is that we are now (as in a relationship). He's also hinted that he wants to do stuff with me and he knows I'm a virgin. I have never done anything sexual with a guy because I haven't really been with anyone and I think I'm ready to start. I don't see losing virginity as something that makes me less pure or whatever, and it is something that I do want to get it done and over with, but I'm scared that I'll end up getting emotionally attached if I do, or that the guy is just using me for sex and then ignore me or whatever, or that I'll just end up getting a bad rep for maybe rushing things.

[xHoneyxBeex]

Ultimately, it depends on what you want to do. However, there are some things to consider.

1. Will you end up regretting it? Even if you don't attach a lot of importance to your virginity, your first is rarely something you forget. If you care at all about it, then you might look back later on in life and wish you had waited until you were in an actual relationship with someone who loves and respects you.

2. Will you be prepared for any emotional attachment? Again, even if losing your virginity isn't a big deal to you, it can still involve a LOT of emotions. If you aren't actually in a relationship with this guy, it could lead to more feelings and emotional turmoil.

3. Being used for sex. If being used for sex is a concern of yours, it probably isn't a good idea to have sex with someone you aren't in a relationship with. Chances are, if you're not in a relationship, then you ARE being "used" for sex. I put used in quotation marks because he may not necessarily be "using" you since you willingly are having sex with him, but if he actually cared about you, then he would want more than sex. A relationship would be the bigger priority for him, not just getting sex from you.

So, I think these are the things that you need to focus on and think about. As I said before though, it's ultimately your decision, you should just be prepared for any of the possible outcomes that could occur because of that decision.

[mei0313]

You do not have to decide right now :) Just take your time and if you like him enough and if you feel comfortable and trust him enough.. then you'd be alright. But if you are scared or uncomfortable in any way... I think you need to give yourself some time. Do not lose YOUR first time because what other people say or because he wants to do stuff with you

[NatalieLove777]

No way girl!! you can never get it back... it is worth wasting it on someone who doesn't give a crap?

[elephantosaur]

Its all just your preference really. I am a guy and i could never have sex with someone im not emotionally attached to. it doesn't interest me because sex IS an intimate thing. Some people, maybe you're one of them, can just have casual sex and be okay with that. And that's fine if thats just who you are. I certainly never would be able to though, because sex is something that i do feel is a meaningful thing.

[hypno-trip]

yea i guess it's like kissing, you wouldn 't kiss a random stranger... normally speaking...

[I_am_repulsive]

I would suggest otherwise, but I can't decide for you. Make sure it's what you want, you're ready for it and you're damn well protected.

[Klaatu51]

do it ONLY if u trust him... also have protected sex always...:-)

[zorro8888]

That's up to you to decide, we can't decide how much you should treasure your virginity.

[Ihav2fart]

Only you know the answer, do what you're comfortable with.

[hypno-trip]

I'm too shy to get rid of my virginity on someone I consider a stranger. If you want to do it you'll need to learn how to separate the act of sex from emotional attachment good luck!

[Anonymous]

I don't think so