Should I say something about our sex life?

[jgirl99]

So me and my boyfriend have a pretty good sex life, satisfying and everything. When we actually do have sex. The only thing that bothers me is we only have sex when he wants to, like he's not in charge of when we have sex, he doesn't force me ever but we'll talk about having sex like flirting and sexting while he's at work, then we just don't, and he goes to sleep, and then when he feels like it he'll initiate sex. It just irritates me cause it feels like we have sex on his schedule. Advice?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I mean don't take this as a power battle it will ruin your life and you won't even enjoy the sex you are having now.

It depends are you working women or a homemaker.

I mean he has to initiate if hus the bread winner because sex doesn't fill your stomach with food

And based on the work and other stuff he will be making time and mood is also athing.

[VIVANT]

👀 👀 You made an awful lot of assumptions 😂

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Why and how do you know her personally? Has she shared about her life with you? It's not assumption though I said what I said on how she has framed the question and based on her conversation with others in chat. I did ask for a few questions also to answer further

[VIVANT]

You assumed it has to be in his schedule bc he’s a bread winner she said nothing about any of that just that they have diff schedules

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Offcourse I assumed that she herself has said that she is texting him while he is at work Yes that's why I also asked if she is working women and as well she said when he comes she is sleeping So my guess is she is a homemaker

[VIVANT]

No reason to guess tho you can just ask about the different schedules. I just found it odd but I moved on since 😬 😁😁🫡

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I did ask , you gave a statement I am simply responding to that 🥳 It's not odd you don't know any person personally and that is the same with me based on the data provided we give suggestions or opinions which maybe or maybe not helpful.

[kylee2437]

@aakash_hangargi don’t even bother arguing with her. She’s making up scenarios so this girl doesn’t take accountability as to why sex isn’t on her time. It would be on her time also if she initiated it and didn’t wait for her boyfriend to every time

[jgirl99]

@kylee2437 omg what do you not understand?

[kylee2437]

@jgirl99 still not changing my mind

[Dargil]

What do you want? Do you feel like you want sex on your schedule?
Will you leave him if you can't have that? I think he is willing. If your sexual relationship is solid and satisfying, wait on him.

[jgirl99]

I don't want it on my schedule I want it to happen if we both say we're going to do it, then he just comes home and goes to sleep. If he's going right to sleep after me asking if he wanted to have sex, I feel like he doesn't want to. No I won't leave him but it sucks that it's on his time whenever we have sex

[Dargil]

You can ask him not to promise if he can't deliver. " sucks that it's on his time whenever we have sex" He has to perform, not you.

[Anonymous]

Talk with him and if it won't change then leave!

My sister is married and this drives her crazy. She will want it need it but if he is not in his dumb mood then she has to use her toys to be happy!

Being together is about sharing everything and if you two can't talk through this then everything else will crumble!

[Opinion Owner]

Still talk with him and if he is worth your time he will be awake and eager to make you happy!

[Samantha36]

Tell him how u feel. The odd occasion when my boyfriend isn't in the mood he will always go down on me

[kylee2437]

Yeah that would be on you to initiate sex. It’s done on his schedule because he can’t read your mind and realize when you want it.

[jgirl99]

But we talked about it before he got home, and I was sleeping when he got here, instead of waking me up or w. e he stays in the bathroom for an hour and then comes to bed when I woke up and went right to sleep

[jgirl99]

If he's going right to sleep, it's not gonna make me want to initiate, obviously he's too tired

[kylee2437]

You are nagging. He’s being respectful and not waking you up when you are at rest. That is a respectful boyfriend.

[VIVANT]

She’d not bagging’s he’s trying to solve a problem as she’d being very considerate.. if there is an issue & the woman isn’t quiet she is nagging— this is ridiculous 🤦🏻‍♀️

[kylee2437]

@vivant a problem that relies solely on yourself and you are putting that issue on other people is nagging.

[VIVANT]

If they agree and he breaks it that’s a problem he created not her

[kylee2437]

@vivant where did you make up that scenario from? She said their sex life is decent and then is complaining about it because she doesn’t initiate any of it

[jgirl99]

@VIVANT thank you🙏❤️

[jgirl99]

As I specified in my update, the problem is more we make plans then he breaks them

[kylee2437]

@jgirl99 “breaks them” he’s WORKING

[Gent207-2]

I think your update just clarified your own problem- opposite schedules + flirting/sexting and not resolving (having sex) - discuss these things and let him know hoe you feel

[boggboss]

So why not initiate sex when u want it

[jgirl99]

I do

[boggboss]

So then how is sex on his schedule unless he always says no when u ask

[jgirl99]

He doesn't say no, he just goes to sleep

[boggboss]

Do u know what I mean when I say initiate sex? Unless he is going to sleep whilst u are touching him

[jgirl99]

No he's not but I feel like he's not in the mood of he's just laying right down to go to sleep

[boggboss]

Thats u assuming he is not in the mood have u ever actually initiated sex started forplay

[jgirl99]

Yes, I do all the time, my frustration is if we had planned to have sex, and then he just goes to sleep instead, knowing we planned on it then why would I feel like he's in the mood? If he bailed on plans and went to bed

[boggboss]

But u described being asleep when he gets home at times so is that not the same thing

[jgirl99]

Well he gets home at 7 am so I'd be asleep whether he was working or not

[jgirl99]

He works all night

[boggboss]

So clearly its not only him that falls asleep if u want sex when he gets in why not wake up early lol

[jgirl99]

I guess I could, but when he goes right to sleep it makes me not want to cause it seems like he's not in the mood

[boggboss]

The same way when he gets in and sees u sleeping it would seem u are not in the mood

[bowenw]

I suggest telling him you would like it at different times. Hopefully there are times besides Fridays and Saturdays where you both have time for it.

[exitseven]

Wait until he is asleep then wake him up and tell him it is time for sex. Convince him it was his idea

[TheSpaceGnome]

Do you ever attempt to initiate?

[jgirl99]

All the time

[TheSpaceGnome]

Weird.

[Andres77]

I bet if you start giving a blowjob everything would change.

[jgirl99]

Already do

[scooogy]

@jgirl99 you truly deserve better than that

[Wise4myage]

Yes, communicate.

[jgirl99]

I have

[Guardian45]

While he's asleep start giving him a BJ. Now, that'll be on YOUR schedule!

[nawtee_me]

When he comes in on a Thursday you just need to take charge and fuc* his brains out. Don’t stop until you have emptied his balls completely. lol. Don’t take no for an answer, in fact don’t give him the opportunity to say anything. He can sleep when you’re done with him. Be that surprise he always wanted but never asked for.

[Jerre]

If you are satisfied with sex twice a week, accept him. Perhaps in the future his schedule will change and you’ll have him 7 nights a week.

[jgirl99]

I mean I'm not really

[kylee2437]

@jgirl99 you are feeding into the agenda that women have no clue what they want. You need to figure it out because you originally said your sex life is good but your words and how you are responding to people say otherwise.

[jgirl99]

@kylee2437 when we actually have sex it is good, I do know what I want, I want to have sex more often

[jgirl99]

But that's not only up to me

[Jerre]

Damn, if I was your boyfriend, we’d be having sex 4-5 times a week.

[jgirl99]

Thats what I want

[andy530]

Yes say something! Have the conversation

[andylakes09]

Very random question and totally unrelated to your question above... are you the same person as the now inactive @girlie12 account? You guys are dopplegangers if not! 😂

[CubaPirate]

Communication is key to happiness

[krin_m]

YOu should also initiate sex when you want it.

[jgirl99]

I did initiate by asking him if he wanted to and then he went to sleep. I initiate most of the time. And I don't want it on my schedule I want it to happen if we both say we're going to do it, then he just comes home and goes to sleep. If he's going right to sleep after me asking if he wanted to have sex, I feel like he doesn't want to

[krin_m]

Instead of asking him if he wants it, tell him that you want it. You can even start the foreplay to get him in the mood.

[jgirl99]

But what if he's too tired tho?

[krin_m]

DM me and we can talk more explicitly.

[Bklynbadboy12]

That's your boyfriend you do know you can initiate sex too. You don't have to wait for him if you want it take it im sure you know how to turn him on right