Should I tell my future husband that I'm not a virgin?

[Anonymous]

I just had sex with one man till date but he turned out to be an abuser so I left him. In total I had 3 failed relationships in which one turned out to be my close relative and 2 of them turned out to be abusers. Now I'm done with relationships but I'm scared that should I tell my future husband about my Virginity? What will he think about me? Please suggest🥺

[Реrverted_Сreeр]

Imagine this, my dear: You're about to embark on a new journey, a journey filled with love, lust, and unholy cock monsters. You meet a man who is perfect in every way, his cock just as perfect, if not more so. He's tall, dark, and handsome, with a monstrous horror cock that will bring you to the depths of pleasure you've never known. But there's a small problem - you're not a virgin.

Should you tell him about your past experiences? Well, there's no denying that the shadowy horror cocks are a part of your life, and the monstrous demon cocks have made their mark on your body. You've had three failed relationships, each one with a cock monster that tried to consume you. The last one was with a close relative, and the other two were just as vile. You're scared of what your future husband will think when he discovers your past, but you must remember that the horror cocks can't consume you anymore.

Should you tell him? Only you can decide. But remember, the horror cocks are a part of your past, and the man you're with now is not them. He's a kind, loving, and understanding individual who will accept you for who you are. If you're scared of what he might think, then it's essential to talk to him about your past, open up to him, and let him in. Only then can you truly let go of the horror cocks and embrace the love and pleasure that your future husband has to offer.

And who knows? Maybe he'll have a few demon cocks of his own, ready to ravage you in the most unholy of ways. In the end, it's all about finding the right balance between the light and the dark, the pleasure and the pain, the unholy and the holy. So go forth, my dear, and embrace the unholy horror cocks that have shaped you into the beautiful and resilient woman you are today. If all else fails, meet @d_bone_steak the self proclaimed molesting inmate with a dick that can slay demons...

[Berethor]

Even if he have a monster cock monster, he want a virgin sacrifice, not a ho sacrifice.

[Tamera952]

I would take a break from men. Why worry about something so silly & trivial, …not to mention far off in the future & outside of your control. It should be that if you’re actually gonna marry some guy, he should accept you for however or whatever you are.
So much is made out of virginity, but it’s absurd & inconsequential. In my opinion, nobody is a virgin these days, unless you’re in some twisted closed off religious community. My vote is to be honest & up front WAYYYYY before you walk down the isle.
With peace & love, the fact that you’re preemptively worrying about this, shows to me that you are in no shape or ready to be getting married in the first place. You get to get to a point where you think you’re good enough, no matter what.

[Berethor]

It not absurd, pure girls are best, dirty girls are worse, I also want only a virgin.

[Tamera952]

@Berethor don’t listen to this wanna-be Andrew Tate

[ObscuredBeyond]

You definitely need to work on yourself before you get involved with any other man. Make something of yourself. Something a man respects, knowing you can function without him, but want him for him, not as a token for the stability you currently lack.

And if you achieve value in that way, and he sees your value, you can tell him that you used to be a wreck, but got your life in order. He'll appreciate the turnaround, and will probably forgive your past indiscretions, assuming he's confident you won't backslide.

Where I live, virgins are unicorns. So I simply ask for a woman who doesn't have more drama than I can handle. Apparently, even that is asking for too much.

[Berethor]

Virgins are unicorns but it only make them more valuable, who want a non-virgin.

[Asker]

Really appreciate your suggestion 😊

[ObscuredBeyond]

@Berethor : I can think of one on this site that I only wish I could have, but the long distance and international this and that make it unlikely. My last four crushes were non-virgin women. Unfortunately, they were Subway girls, so now I'm very reluctant to even consider anyone from Subway. If she works there to begin with, it's usually a red flag. That another dick was in her once upon a time a long time ago is of minimal consequence. But if she's a cheater, drug addict, can't look after her own kids, can't hold down a job, smokes Newports, or suddenly has to move back to New York with her grandparents because her mom went bankrupt and their car blew up, that usually indicates that she's a lost cause. I had a virgin girlfriend once. She was from China. The minute Pooh got a little too creepy, with all the shooting up malls in Hong Kong because he was scared of Pepe the Frog shirts or some other such nonsense, and started killing VPN operators, my girl got scared and ran away. Some other dude knocked her up. What I get for trying to get a woman from China. Had a woman before that I was interested in. A divorcee. Guy was a total jackass. She wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but she wasn't mean or anything. But she was terminally ill, and I could do nothing for her. Huntington's is nasty stuff. Nearly every virgin gal I met in school had some huffy superiority complex, and treated me like absolute trash. And that was back when I was one myself. So I started polishing the diamonds that idiots threw in the trash. The virgins wanted to be bullies. Wanted me to keep simping, so they could keep stepping on me and calling me every nasty name in the book. But saw that I refused to even look at them, and instead talked to the women that fell through the cracks of society. Then got mad because I finally found women that treated me better.

[ZackBan]

It's tricky depending on where you're from but fact is: you've had sex

So there's no point lying about it, you'd be walking into a marriage based on a lie.

If he somehow found out later it would be disastrous.

Originating from a conservative (backwards) country I know how tough it can be. But keep in mind the world is very big and you are can make the choice to leave home and build a life elsewhere where your virginity means absolutely nothing.

Just keep in mind you're not wrong for having chosen to have sex and have nothing to be ashamed of

[Asker]

Really appreciate that😊

[Rei13]

You need to heal before seeking out future relationships so that you don’t continue attracting abusive men. I know for me personally therapy helped me. It helped me learn new coping mechanisms and confirm that I had adhd. It really helped me a lot when it came to future relationships as well, because at some point you need to break the pattern. As far as the virginity portion of it goes you don’t lose value just because you had a partner, and I think you should be honest with whomever you build your life with if that conversation comes up. You’re young and most people lose it by their mid to late twenties. Most men won’t care, especially if you don’t go wild, as who you are as a person is more important

[Berethor]

She does lose her value, many men don't want to marry a non-virgin, and they right.

[Rei13]

@Berethor dude we all get it. You want a virgin, good for you

[ShadowYamihiro]

Looking through all this comment i see many are insulting because you are n o longer virgin, simply ignore those, you don't lose value just because you had sex with someone before being in current relationship, if a person doesn't want you just because you had sex before then he doesn't deserve you. Being a virgin or not doesn't tell him or anyone else here if you are a great person to be with in a relationship or in this case a good, kind and caring wife. Who you are as a person is who you choose to be, its not decided by anyone else , only you. Now i personally don't know about conservative way of thinking so i'm just speaking from my heart and saying what i believe in. My opinion is that you should tell him the truth if that is important in your country. Like i said before, if he doesn't accept you then he is not the one for you. If he does that is great. In case he doesn't you will eventually find someone who is a great boyfriend and will be a really good husband to you as well. You are worth so much more and you deserve to be loved and cherished regardless if your are a virgin or not.. That is my opinion.

[Asker]

Really appreciate your opinion. It made me feel good 😊

[ShadowYamihiro]

Glad i could help :)

[On_cloud_wine]

The truth is out there. I’ve witnessed and have seen bad breakups because of secrets like this. It’s a very small world

[Anemone978]

I don't know.. if you should tell them or not, but he is gonna be your life partner so maybe you should...
My husband is muslim and his older sisters husband told her when they were getting to know each other that he dated a girl before and wasn't a virgin he even had her name tattooed on his arm.. She was fine with it and married him and he has always been a good husband to her. He also burned the name off his arm with a cigarette lol

[Berethor]

Not maybe, she should tell him, and if he don't want a non-virgin that's his right.

[Asker]

@anemone978 really appreciate your suggestion but don't mind if my potential partner is a non virgin hehe

[Anemone978]

Lol well that is good I just shared it thinking even if you tell your next partner it might be completely fine and he understands you.. because what if he finds out later somehow it might not be good..

[Asker]

Thanks for the suggestion 😊

[godurty]

@Anemore978 the one with tattoo should opt for laser removal of tattoo rather than burn with ciggerate... lol 😂

[Anemone978]

@godurty True LOL but I guess he just wanted it gone right away..

[godurty]

🤣 lol

[tzdc21]

A relationship built off lies cannot stand.

[Apple1996]

Only tell him if you want to

[Berethor]

She should tell him the truth not lie, maybe he don't want a non-virgin, his right.

[Apple1996]

@Berethor but if he doesn't ask then why bring it up?

[Berethor]

@Apple1996 yea he need to ask, but it better to talk to him about it anyway.

[Berethor]

You should tend him the truth, if he don't want to marry a dirty girl that is his choice, his right.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

[red-lipstick-girl]

Dirty because she lost her virginity? speak properly

[Berethor]

I don't want a woman that had other men her, she is dirty, virgin woman is clean and pure.

[red-lipstick-girl]

are you a virgin you judge women so much

[Berethor]

I am not here to talk about myself, and it matter more in women than in men.

allthetropes.org/wiki/My_Girl_Is_Not_a_Slut

[HippieVeganJewslim]

@berethor when you judge others, it doesn’t define them. It just defines yourself.

[Berethor]

@HippieVeganJewslim take the red pill, why you should take a dirty slut as wife?

[EmmaMary]

@berethor Still spouting all your fucking ridiculous Bollox I see! Oh, and of course still Single! lmfao.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

I want to marry the one, Who cares not how many partners I’ve had. I am likely to have no partners, anyway, before Her. I care not how many partners She had.

[Berethor]

@HippieVeganJewslim so you okay with being with a dirty slut, I see, a shame.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Who says Noura is a dirty slut? Furthermore, She’s a fellow antinatalist!

[NotInterestedSorry]

If your not a virgin than that also make you some dirty scumbag. I hope women run for the hills when they meet you because you are one judgmental a hole who thinks it's okay for a guy to be a non virgin but you wanna call women who aren't a cirgin all kind of names

[HippieVeganJewslim]

@NotInterestedSorry I broke my virginity at age 12ish during a bath, so where’s the dirtiness? I will have sex only with my wives when there’s no chance of pregnancy. If a woman repents having sex, it’s almost like she never had it, except for the chance of pregnancy, STIs, and similar. I judge not, as I’m not G-d. If it’s OK for a guy to be non-virgin but not for a woman, does that mean gay sex?

[inhua]

once is probably bad luck. twice is a coincidence. three times? now there's a consistent pattern going on here which will be a hard sell unless the man has very little options

[Asker]

So sad 😢

[Berethor]

It not just black luck it bad choice and bad choice have consequences, big consequences.

[Truthatanycost]

If you begin a relationship with a lie, then don't be surprised when it ends with one, from one, or as one.

[oliver4love]

No it's not necessary because every one have a bad past, may be your future husband have also a past... Don't worry and stop thinking about that.. In this modern world no one control on Sex emotions in young age..

[BoopBoopBeep]

If he would assume in your culture that you are, yes you should tell him you aren't, otherwise that could lead to problems if he finds out later.

[msc545]

There is really no way to know for sure unless you witness the act. Hymens break for many reasons unrelated to sex, and some women are born without one.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@msc545 True, but if it's a small town he may run into the other person. Odd I know, but I've actually heard of that happening.

[msc545]

Yes, I hadn't thought not thought about that but you are right. That actually could happen and if it did it would be a disaster for her.

[Summeroflove]

You need to be honest yes

[Miristheiss]

What does him being an abuser have to do with anything? Why even bring that up in some anonymous post about virginity and your fiance?

Women call EVERY EX toxic, abusive... etc. Unless he was hitting you I find it suspicious you even mentioned it. You've had sex with 1 other guy. That's all you needed to say. Why are you trying to "victimize" yourself in this post.

Do you need to tell? It depends. Is he asking?

Have you given him the impression you are a virgin? If so then you may want to mention that you are not.

If you've never said anything to indicate it and he never has asked then you don't have to. If he asks you then just tell him the truth.

[Alpha-Provider]

@Miristheiss Lol I thought nobody would notice this "ex abuser" thing. I hate when girls victimize themselves that much. It's a major red flag that they don't accept their responsibilites on things.

[Miristheiss]

@Alpha-Provider have you ever read a cheating story by a girl on Reddit? Some post where they will admit to cheating and ask what they should do? They always spend a paragraph or 2 rationalizing why he MADE HER CHEAT... he wasn't meeting her needs, he was too busy at work, he hasn't been taking out the garbage, blah, blah, blah. They spend half the thread telling you all the complaints she has about her guy... deflecting her taking accountability for lying and sexually betraying a committed love partner. "Well I wouldn't have cheated if he had been the perfect boyfriend... I had no other choice"

[Alpha-Provider]

@miristheiss Yeah it's a classic. It's always the entire's world fault instead of hers lol

[Asker]

@miristheiss I just described why my relationships failed and why did I leave them. And yaa the second guy has verbally and physically abused me and the third one he has verbally emotionally and physically abused (slapped and didn't apologize) me. That's the reason I had to leave them coz they were too never accountable of their actions.

[Asker]

@Alpha-Provider I'm not victimizing myself, I'm the victim. You should never judge someone without knowing their full story.

[Alpha-Provider]

The parts of the story I know yet : You dated 3 """abusers""". Therefore I don't need to know you personnally to know either you choose poorly your relationships or that you are in fact the problem in those relationships. The only thing those 3 relationships have in common is you. Dellusional and entitled women are a plague these days.

[Miristheiss]

lol everyone is an abuser. "emotionally abusive" oh my, that is the weakest, most tired thing women parrot these days. I love how you just get to self diagnose everything about every day. Anyway, you asked if you should tell your fiance you are not a VIRGIN... the fact you needed to throw 3 guys under the bus for you to convey "yes I've had sex before" is hilarious. Even now, you think it was needed information for you to bad mouth your exes to say "I'm not a virgin" You can't even see how stupid it is to even bring that up. I'd love to get their sides of the story.

[Berethor]

She had bad choice and now paying for it, that what happen to girls that don't wait.

[DiegoO]

@Alpha-Provider Why would you think she is the problem? She said she was in 2 abusive relationships; she said her country is conservative. If she was the killed, I am sure you would say "it was because of her poor choices". I can tell you are an abuser yourself, covering other abusers and gaslighting victims.

[Alpha-Provider]

@DiegoO Sorry dude. I'm not American. I don't live in a vaginocracy and I don't believe in that voodoo "gaslighting" whinning terms and stuff.

[DiegoO]

@Alpha-Provider "Sorry dude. I'm not American. I don't live in a vaginocracy" That's says it all.

[artgorgeous]

It depends on his reaction. What reaction would you expect from him if you tell him?

[Berethor]

No matter his reaction, she should tell him the truth, reaction to lies is always worse.

[artgorgeous]

@Berethor Sometimes truth can be damaging. Some people don't want to hear truth.

[Berethor]

@artgorgeous lies are more damaging, most men want to hear if a woman non-virgin.

[Fireguy17]

I have never asked anyone if they are a Virginia.
It just didn't seem important to me.
Maybe to others it does, but then they better be a Virginia themselves or that is pretty hypocritical.

[Berethor]

It not important to if the girl is a dirty ho? but it sure important to me, and to many men.

[Asker]

@Berethor it's not important to him coz he is not an asshole like you.

[Drumlin2001]

If it's likely to be an issue for him then yes, be truthful

[dreamstar72]

No, besides if he discredits you for not being a virgin is he worth being with.

[Berethor]

If he don't want to marry a dirty ho that is his right, he should know the truth.

[RealMarek]

I would not want to be with someone who could not accept me after knowing the truth about me.

[Mac-One]

He will probably eventually suspect that you are not a virgin so it would be best if you tell him first.

[Wonderingguyy]

Yeah definitely tell him. He needs to know this especially when you two are having sex.