Should I wait (to have sex) for MARRIAGE? ?

Hello peeps
I am struggling lately with my choice of whether to have sex or not.
I am 20 and still a virgin. Never had a first kiss until a year ago so i am very inexperienced with flirting, dating etc. All of my friends , literally all of them lost their virginity when they were like 15-16, even my younger cousins did it, and i am here waiting because no one is making any moves on me. Ok you might think "you must be ugly then".. I'm not the most gorgeous girl on the planet but people consider me good looking so I might believe them.. now you must think "maybe you are too shy and that can be unattractive for most guys" no.. it's not even that.. I'm a Sagittarius and I'm the most outgoing person ever.. I like to be in the centre of attention and I like making people laugh.. so why? Why do I consider myself as a loser somehow? All of my friends are like "right, this year is your year.. you HAVE to lose your virginity. Trust me sex is amazing and waiting more and more is not worth it"... I don't know if I want to believe that.
I sure hope sex is amazing but at the same time I know that if I wait for marriage, the guy who is then going to be my husband will LOVE me for sure, because if a guy waits months or even years in order to have sex with a girl he must really LOVE and RESPECT her.. and that is what I want.. I want the assurance of someone loving and wanting me like that. At the same time tho therestmy sexual frustration: it's not like I want to give it to anyone and everyone but I am starting to feel like I am missing out.. I feel like am still a child and I don't spread sexiness and femininity.. but if I had sex I would completely change my image and maybe I would be more confident with myself. If I like a guy mostly for sexual chemistry and tension... should I go for it? How can I convince him? I am afraid that if I go and have sex with any guy, I will lose the thing that makes me special and different from all the other girls, and I won't find love anymore.
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  • If you have a gift that you can only share one time with one person, would you choose to trade it in for a cheap thrill or save would you save it as an investment towards something far more substantial?

    Or, asked another way, would anyone who truly loves you want to use you as an amusement ride only to look elsewhere for a more exciting ride?

    To me, this is really a no brainer. Anymore who isn't into having your mind as their favorite playground certainly should not gain access to your garden.

  • The counter argument is your one true love might just pass you by and never even date you and fall in love with you because you don't want to have sex, so he is dating some other girl that is giving it up..

    Sex it a normal part of dating in this day and age

  • That decision is completely yours, your friends are not telling you the other side of sex (as in the STD's, the use of condoms, birth control pills, etc). It won't affect much on your appearance, what would affect the most is in your emotions, where people value others. In today's mainstream is basically "getting" a relationship in less than 3 months (where the main attraction is), afterwards it fades out.

    A lot of people now adays are used to go and make things fast, (becoming impatient in things that would need some time to understand). Loosing your virginity is a one time only, afterwards you'll remember with who you did it and how was the experience. Some people would feel like its something special to be the first one (from the thousands of people the person could've chosen), its a special type of trust.

    The reason to why no one notices you (in terms of attraction) is what you said above: "you're inexperienced in flirting". This is playing a massive role that you actually know, in order to know who's attraction you must know how attraction works. When I say that I mean knowing the signs of interest (how to know if someone likes you), start to notice the change in their behavior, personality, etc.

    i hope this would clear your mind better, Hope this helps.

  • I'd reccomend it. Hook up culture has STDs, condom accidents, accidental pregnancies

    I mean once your married, you can have sex like a rabbit without worrying about getting someone pregnant by mistakes. No need for condoms too, which take away the feel

  • It's in your interest to start having sex, but i don't think that'd help you yet. No use losing your virginity at your age if you haven't lost your innocence first. You seem to have a very childish, Disney like view of love, that someone will accept you 100% unconditionally for who you are, and you'll both live happily ever after, in a very unhealthy state of dependency.

    Honestly you sound a bit like someone who's had a neglectful childhood with some distant parents that weren't very good at their job. Normal people with healthy upbringings know how to love themselves, not needing someone else to validate their existence, but rather just wanting to have someone else in their life that's good for them, but not needing them.

  • You should whait like I am

  • Yes. I know you should wait. Having sex before marriage is a mistake in two. You could lose your virginity to the wrong person and your breaking God’s law on sex.

  • Your feelings and your intuition are right on the money. everyone has sex, so everyone tells everyone else that they should have sex. And yeah, it is amazing. No doubt. but your intuition is telling you that it could be even more amazing if it was someone who was not just someone you liked, but who loved you and respected you and committed himself to you for his entire life.

    I'm waiting for that as well. It's tough, especially with all the temptation and peer pressure. But I know it will be worth it. And this may sound funny, but the science backs me up. Do you know which women have the most fulfilling sex lives? Married women who go to church. They report the highest levels of satisfaction and also the highest average frequency. Now, I'm not saying you have to go and be religious, but I am saying that the people who are society tells us are the most prudish and get the least sex are actually the people who get the most sex and are the most sexually satisfied.

    To me, this is a sign that our culture doesn't understand sex at all. It doesn't understand what makes a good and it doesn't understand the value of it.

    Feel free to PM me if you have other thoughts. I'm not on here often, but I will respond if you send me a message

  • If you want sex, go for it

  • That's a choice i made in my teens, people told me i was crazy, called me a loser, for believing i could have something better than them, someone that put off the whole world just to be with me.

    Guys and girls are very similar
    I can relate a lot.

    I think on 1 hand, you know for sure he isn't after you for your looks, he could find others that would but chose you.

    I would only commit to a woman who waited.

    I've never had a date, Never had a girlfriend, never kissed, very rarely had a girl like me, and women have never given me any sort of attention openly.

    Lately iv beem questioning it all, mostly im sick of being picked on,

    I admit its a tempting idea to sleep around person to person. Mu question is why do people do it? what are they looking for?

    End of the line its a fairy tale of true love. The in and out again dating game has no appeal, honestly i think most everyone is just playing at marriage pretending they have all that intimacy and security.

    Mostly its a religious commitment for me, I hope to it.

  • No.. just have fun live free

  • I hope you wait. Your core beliefs are solid; you're only wavering because of foolish people in your life who are trying to have a negative influence on you and drag you down to their level. I hate to say it, but you may want to consider finding new friends. If they were really your friends they wouldn't be pressuring you like that; they would respect your personal beliefs and goals.

  • It's the wise, safe, and Christian thing to do.

  • I'M IN YOUR EXACT SHOES! Everyone else is having Sex with their friends... I'm the lonely one. Never kissed, Virgin boy. My advice is this: Have patience. It WILL be worth it in the long run! Maybe we're missing out now, but everyone else's downfall is their impatience. They have chosen foolishness. Instead, we should wait until we are married. It will Seal security, trust and TRUE love.

  • Just be you... dontvwirry what everyone else is doing. If you find right guy n want to go for it. But just be yourself n you will be unique n a stronger women for it... .

  • Fuck your stupid fucking whore dumb cunt friends trying to drag you down to their level. Never give into peer pressure, EVER. You don't HAVE to lose it at any specific time, don't ever let friends influence your decision about who to give your virginity to, or who to have sex with at all.

  • I tried waiting , at 21 I was in a serious relationship and decided to give myself to him. I believe that sex really binds you with the other person and things didn't work out. It hurts differently in my opinion when we broke up there's all of the memories and then there's the intimacy.

    • You mean it is easy for someone who had intimacy) sex to forget about break up

  • Dating can be difficult

  • Do what you feel is right, doesn't really matter either way as long as you're safe about it.

  • No. Marriage shouldn’t be over romanticized. Find a person you like and if you want to have sex, go for it. Definitely live with a person before you marry them. That’s for sure.

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