Should I worry if my girlfriend is very casual with other lovers, but very reserved when she is with me?

[nik0102]

she can have casual sex with someone, anywhere and be confortable to explore kinks, positions etc. with me she is more unconfortable and doesn't feel so free to explore stuff. also her sex drive is way higher when single

[inhua]

yes you should be worried. she's breaking rules for the alpha and making rules for the beta which is what she perceives you to be

you should be insulted she's making you jump through hoops but nobody else has to. she clearly doesn't love you or respect you

a woman who loves her future husband doesn't make him pay her bills, pay for dates, go on expensive holidays, put a ring on the finger just to get sex while the 50 other dudes she hooked up with get a free pass

better to cut your losses and get out of that situation

[nik0102]

so by being more free with others, and not with me, she perceives me as a beta?

[inhua]

that's how she perceives you. women who respect their man lets him do anything and even allows some bad shit to slide. sometimes this is taken to the extreme and they get stuck in toxic relationships with bad boys but the point is, the more powerful and dominant and attractive she sees you, the more submissive and feminine she will be to you ( it's in their biology to do so ) at this point if you became a respectable alpha in her eyes, she'd just think you're faking it. it's better you start fresh unless you wish to abide by her unwritten rules for the rest of your life

[nik0102]

so it is not easy to change that now?

[inhua]

she doesn't respect you. any change you do would be seen as a pathetic futile attempt to save a dying relationship. don't listen to the gaslighters who couldn't care less if you got cheated on, dumped etc. they are telling you politically correct bullshit don't forget you are the boyfriend and if you are going to be the future husband as well, you should be getting the best treatment out of every other guy. fuck the excuses

[SnowedIn]

Your first problem is focusing on her previous/other sex lives.

You should focus on two things only:
1. Is she satisfied with the sex you two have; and
2. Without thinking about her sex with others, are you satisfied with your sex.

If the answer to either of those is no, then the two of you fix it. Without comparing that she does whatever with whoever else.

If you can't do that, set her free. This is a you problem.

@_Maya_

[nik0102]

i am happy with her. i constantly feel she is not satisfied with me, thats why when she is not with me, she is way more open to different stuff

[_Maya_]

You know people change too asker. Maybe she got it out of her system. Maybe she likes exploring that stuff because there is no real chance of settling down with those previous partners in her head. Maybe she looks at you as someone she wants to get serious with and doesn't want to get into kinks. Any number of reasons...

[SnowedIn]

@nik0102 ... you write "I feel". Stop. Either communicate with her, leave her, or get counseling for your insecurities. You're inventing a problem.

[nik0102]

@_Maya_ she has told me very similar things actually. i just feel she is lying to her self, what is wrong with having a relaxed sexuality with the person you want to settle down with? why does she have the need to satisfy her deep desires with different people, if she wants to settle with me?

[_Maya_]

Tell me how she is lying to herself.

[nik0102]

@_Maya_ if you chose not to perform a certain desire with your SO, there must be a lack of attraction. she claims that isn't the case. i am fully attracted to her, and every sex act i want to have, i want to have it with her. the need for third parties, means something at least, but she claims otherwise

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO.

[Anonymous]

Depends but I'd say yes but also what kinks? And most girls drives go down when dating.

Usually she will probably do different kinks cause the guys want them most are dumb gross things!

. will she not do your kink or just want good same sex romantic?

[nik0102]

for example she states she feels unconfortable having sex at the beach or in a car. but with previous friends with benefits, she had 0 problem having sex in those locations

[Opinion Owner]

Is that it? Probably does not want that again! Do you want that? Does she brag about it? Might have been special for that person! Now no more cause she does not want to remember him! Lmao might regret making her do that she might call his name while she does

[nik0102]

that is just an example, also certain positions are off limits for me. furthemore, she doesn't enjoy that much when i finger her, and doesn't let me do anything in her ass, while she has no problem at all with others

[Opinion Owner]

Has she bragged about it before? Sounds like she knows what she likes and hates! Ask her why sex is about communication even why she says no! Really guys are bad at fingering so don't blame her and anal is gross She was probably forced to do things at some point and does not want to! If you feel to hurt to love her and listen then break up

[nik0102]

she told me she liked it with the other guys, no one forced her

[Opinion Owner]

Is sex new? She might wanna wait till latter! Maybe she wants to be forced lmao

[RobT312]

If she’s not comfortable with u but comfortable with others then yeah there could be a problem. Talk and try to change that

[Pete671]

Suggest a group sex session or gang bang!

[nik0102]

i can only imagine being left in the corner then xx