Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
1. You are way too insecure
You should be excited about wanting to go to the next phase of your relationship with your partner. Instead of looking forward to it, you constantly dwell on the fact that they will see you naked.
This "time of excitement" further brings out the insecurity issues you've had all along.
- Am I too fat?
- Will my stretchmarks be seen?
- Are my boobs just right?
- Will she like my penis size?
These are just a few of the many questions you ask yourself about your image.
Working on these insecurities before reaching the physical aspect of your relationship will do wonders for your sex life. If you keep focusing on the things you cannot change, you will not enjoy the encounter. Depending on the extent of your feelings, you may even try to further prolong moving to this phase of your relationship. This leads the person you are pursuing "on hold". They will wonder why things are standing still and not moving forward.
Insecurity issues further hinders the development of a relationship.
2. You do the same old routine
A. The same ol' way, just a different day
At first the sex was amazing but now it's boring. The problem isn't that your partner's performance has changed (for the worse). It's the fact that it hasn't changed at all!
It was fun the first couple of months! After many years....not so much!
If you do something the same way over and over, you're only bound to get bored of it.
Have you ever heard the same song time and time again?
It was probably your most favorite. But after hearing it countless times, you want to change the radio station anytime it comes on. When it comes to sex you want to make a change. Sure, you'll go back to hearing your favorite song every now and then, but now it's time for something a little different.
- Why do you not try surprising your partner with sex, instead of planning it?
Being spontaneous always increases the fun! You can add to the enjoyment by greeting your guy dressed in hot lingerie.
- Give surprise oral sex
- Add more foreplay to your routine (This builds on the intensity factor)
- Have sex in an outdoor setting if you're adventurous.
Just do something different!
There's so many other things you can do to add to the spice in your relationship.
Talk about these things with your partner. See where their boundaries lie and if they agree.
B. You're not willing to explore
Sex is supposed to be about fun and going the extra mile for your partner. Chances are, you won't be into everything your person of choice is into. But the fact that you are going to extreme lengths to satisfy that person will make them grateful. This person should be doing the same for you.
Healthy compromise is always a good thing.
You don't have to do this sexual act all of the time, but occasionally doing so in efforts to make your significant other happy is very applaudable.
3. You do not like the length of your sex session
A. Sex is way too short.
Reason (1) - Just way too excited!
He just started.
-2 minutes later-
Oh dear, now he's finished! :-(
You want your girl to enjoy the sex but the problem is you cannot last more than a few minutes.
- Have you tried jerking off before the actual intercourse?
Getting the first nut out of the way, makes you last longer.
- Do not start off with a position that gets your overly excited!
This makes you want to cum much faster! Some people say, "save the best for last" for a reason.
Reason (2) - Overwhelmed with stress.
You're not focused on your partner. You're mind is left wondering about all of the hassles and stressful things in your life. This effects your performance negatively. You find yourself unable to get erected or having difficulty maintaining one.
B. Sex is way too long
If you're on the other end of this spectrum, (sex is too short) you're probably wondering why on Earth would someone hate long sex?
Some people are just unable to handle long hours of penetration.Their body starts to physically get tired.
Their parts start to ache and hurt. This causes discomfort and very minimial pleasure.
When you really know your partner, you'll know what length of sex works for them. Some people are able to handle long love sessions. While others aren't.
To really know what your partner wants, you should have a open road of communication.
Each time you have sex with someone , you learn more about what they want.
If they haven't complained to you about anything, then continue doing as you please!
4. You haven't found the right person
You love sex in general but not with this person. This person doesn't listen to your needs at all. You find yourself not enjoying the sex at all.
Some people are just not compatible sex wise.
Before you give up hope,
I suggest speaking to your partner about this. If they are open, they will take into account what you have said and try to improve their performance.
Great sex won't happen overnight...but they'll definitely make efforts to move forward in that direction.
5. You're not physically attracted to your partner
I find that when I am emotionally connected to someone , my physical attraction for them grows. However, not every one is like this. If they do not find you attractive at all from the beginning, chances are that will not change (unless your appearance improves significantly). This can hinder the sex life.
The person who is not attracted probably makes little or no advances towards intercourse because they aren't interested in it with their significant other.
There is no doubt this is a definite blow to ones self esteem.
No one likes to be seen as unattractive.
6. You're feeling guilty
You don't feel that you should enjoy something that goes against your morals.
- Is it sex before marriage?
- Did you have sex with someone who is promiscuous (and your personal feelings are usually against someone who is like this?)
- Did you have sex with someone elses significant other?
Whatever it is, you don't allow yourself to enjoy the full extent of the sexual encounter because you submit to your emotions.
Do not let your past decisions define you. They are only just a choice you made once in time. If you're feeling that guilty about them, then do not continue to engage in something that is emotionally destroying you.
I personally love a good sex session.
Who doesn't?
When you find yourself confident, honest, a good communicator and fully secure you'll enjoy your sex life a whole lot more!
What Girls & Guys Said
10 20I appreciate your hard work. You wrote very beautifully here.
The only reasons I didn't like sex was because I had to pay for mediocre sex and the girls would not allow me to continue after ejaculating without paying double the price.
Nice take.
Best Mytake or question so far girl. Wow this is good stuff. I have at times been with the wrong partner as we have had different levels of passion and willingness to explore/be kinky. I know better than to try to change someone and will just move on and find a partner I am compatible with. When I was younger sometimes I would bust one or two nuts before sex so I would be able to last longer but eventually learned to get those 3, 4 or 5 nuts off WHILE having sex. I like to knock at least 2 or 3 out of the park for her before I get my first one now. I am a more generous lover than I was back in the day for sure.
Getting the first but out of the way hahaha! No, not a good idea. Some guys are done for hours after that.
Yep. Which is why they should do it before sex (hours prior).
If that's what you think, you don't understand men
That's why another guy here said that technique worked for him? In my experience , other men have said the same. You are in the minority my dear.
I'm not talking about just myself. Unloading the gun also unloads desirability for the woman. Dear.
www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=13382 See here
See above comment
As a guy with a small penis (4"... Not a micro, but small enough that it would bother most women), I can say that it's not easy at all to feel secure when you are a virgin who isn't packing.
The only thing that will cure my insecurity is good sex, and that's off the table.
So, you think there's no way possible for you to satisfy a woman with your size? Have you ever considered learning techniques that are appropriate for a man with a smaller penis? Also, if you get great at giving oral that's a great bonus as well.
All I'm saying is that until I actually have sex, I'm not going to believe that it's possible.
So you're a virgin?
Yes.
Wow.
Not so surprising given my size, though.
There are people with small sizes who get laid you know.
A lot of them get humiliated.
By immature girls I suppose
It's do-able.
How do I get a girl to have sex with me I've never done it before bit I really want to
So, you are a virgin? Well... this is a whole other topic and requires a lot of information (on your behalf that I will have to ask you). That will affect in how I approach this answer and give you advice. Perhaps I'll make a take on this soon...
Well not to be rude but can't you just tell me the steps on how to loose my virginity instead? I feel like that would be way easier for both of us
Without know much about you, I will only provide general simple details: 1) At least know the girl before you even try to get sexually involved with her. 2) Assuming that you have some type of relationship with this girl (whether it's friendship or casual talking), talk to her. Find out what she's looking for whether that is just do have fun or someone to be her boyfriend. 3) If she says all she's looking for is a good time... start by flirting with her, kissing, touching her (making her feel good) If she reciprocates and does the same in return... she's interested in going to some level with you. Go with the flow. See how far you can go. If she lets you and doesn't stop you then proceed. The key is to be confident, and comfortable.
So there's nothing specific I have to do
Beside what I mentioned, no.
Ok I just hope she doesn't want to date a lot of girls I've talked to just want to date and it gets really lame really fast
This is a great mytake but I think it only assumes that the person who is not satisfied with sex is in a current relationship and has been with that person for a long time
Not necessarily. Each scenario is different so the time frame varies. Only scenario two makes that a implication because usually that is typical of long lasting relationships.
Because in order to get bored of a routine it must be done numerous times. That makes sense when a relationship is long term.
Exactly this mytake assumes the person is in a long term relationship
You're speaking about a small segment of my mytake which is "scenario 2". That is the only time I mention after years of being together the routine gets boring. As previously said before, EACH scenario is different so the time-frame varies. So, the entire mytake does not assume that. That is where I am correcting you.