Sleeping in bed with a friend of the opposite sex?

Me and my best friend (male) had to share a room the other day. We asked for 2 single beds but they gave us a double one. It was 1:30 am and we couldn't ask for a change so.. we slept in the same bed.
I think we're both physically attracted to each other but.. we're in denial.
I laid in my part of bed and tried to calm myself down and get some sleep.
He didn't do anything, not even tried to do it.
I heard him deep breathing a few times and to toss and turn in bed.
But then I fell asleep.
I felt a bit disappointed at first to be honest.. cause maybe I wanted something to happen between us. But I didn't do anything to make it happen.
Is it hard for you guys to sleep in a bed with a friend of the opposite sex without having sex?
I don't know.. maybe the fact he didn't try to do it make me think that he's probably not attracted to me as I think he is.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You should have gone for it.

    Unless he's in a committed relationship (I assume he isn't) or you are ~literally~ wolf ugly (I highly doubt you are) then he has absolutely thought about, and probably fantasized about, having sex with you.

    He didn't do anything because he probably doesn't think you're into him like that, and he respects your boundaries. Very few men would pass up sex with a "friend" if it were offered.

  • I don't think there was anything wrong happened there or to be concerned about. He wasn't reading your mind and vice versa. If he's a good friend of yours and he's a good person to be with, he wouldn't ruin the friendship. And if you want it to happen, give him signs and you'll be good.

    • Yea.. we're very close friends. And I didn't want to ruin the friendship either. But I think I will do as you said. Thanks x

    • Thanks :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • He probably has the utmost respect for you. He was being a gentleman, even if he did want something to happen. Just the same as you were being a lady, but still had thoughts of something happening.

    Think about it for a few days, then if you feel you want to find out more, talk to him about it. Tell him how you felt. I do not think it will ever ruin a good friendship just to talk about it.

    • Thanks for your reply. You're probably right. :)

    • No probs! 😊

  • He was probably being respectful. But, I understand. Personally, if I'm sharing a bed with a friend, sex is always on the table. I'm even up front about it. But that's just me.

  • if he didn't try anything then maybe he's more of a gentleman, maybe you should ask him to get a definitive answer

    • Thanks, I will :) x

    • Good luck!

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 14
  • As for me.. I don't believe it's hard at all. I often sleep in the same bed with friends of the opposite sex (usually after parties) without having any sexual intentions in the back of my head.
    Do you actually believe that just because you're a girl, every guy would get crazy and sexual about sharing a bed with you?

    • Nope, I shared a bed with other friends in the past and not all of them tried to have sex with me. The fact is that with THIS person everything is different 'cause he's not just a friend but my BEST friend and also one of the people I love the most. In the past things went a bit out of control but since other people were there it was easier to not doing anything. But in this situation... we're in a room, alone, hundreds miles away from everyone we know, in the same bed.. and we didn't do anything.

    • Well.. when the two of you have past in that sense, then I'd be surprised about that aswell. Maybe he was insecure wether you'd want it or not and thus decided not to risk anything? I don't know him, so I can't possibly tell what went on I'm his head either.

    • However (Sorry for the double post).. if you want something to happen, then show him that you don't mind, give him signs or take the initiative yourself. Also, take care that he knows what you expect out of it.. either something sexual only or actually more.

  • He fucked up. I don't know what you look like but I would have laid the moves. That was pussy on a platter.

  • I do it all the time.
    He could just have respect for himself and not take advantage of a rate situation that can cause awkwardness.

  • he respects you & the friendship boundaries

  • We should have been friends, I'd guarantee different results! ;)

  • He just wasn't attracted to you.

    • But he told me he is a few times in the past. :/

    • I wouldn't be able to sleep if i was on bed next to a person i find attractive. I'd put my arms around her and start spooning her. Consensual of course.

  • or perhaps he respect way more too much to take action without a proper talk with you

    • Yea, probably. He's very respectful and the nicest guy I know. :)

    • in such cases, you dont need to pu a lot of negative thoughts in your mind, like why didn't he make a move, or he doesn't find you very attractive or such kind of things, the way you know him, the least you could do, just observe and you will see the pattern of where is going with the situation

  • it's hard to sleep with opposite sex , unless it's my gf! and I think you should talk about this with him! he may controlled a lot,

  • Boys is control on ourselves.

    If you are like his then tell him

    • I will :) thanks.

    • Most welcome ☺️

  • Maybe he was scared that you wouldn't want to. if you wanted it that bad you should have made the first move

    • I know I should have :( I was so shy in that moment..

  • I can do it no problems at all.

    As for him well he probably regrets not doing anything if he is attracted as you suspect. Otherwise I guess it's just you.

  • eh depends

  • "Is it hard for you guys to sleep in a bed with a friend of the opposite sex without having sex? "

    No, we have sisters, moms, and aunties, you know.

    "I don't know.. maybe the fact he didn't try to do it make me think that he's probably not attracted to me as I think he is. "

    You see, right there is some bullshit. He didn't try anything because he didn't get a green light. Doing anything without that can mean trouble.

  • Maybe he doesn't think you like him that way and he didn't wanna ruin the friendship

    • Yep.. he doesn't know I like him or feel attracted to him. He told me a few times he was attracted to me.. but we kept everything very platonic cause we're best friends and didn't want to ruin the friendship. The fact is that now my feelings are growing and growing and I'm not sure I just want to be friends. Thanks for your reply :)

    • Well you already know he's attracted to you and has feelings for you. You've got nothing to worry about. Have fun in your relationship 😉

  • u missed the fuck.

  • It would have been weird to try something at that point without something intament leading up to it.

    • You're probably right. Also because we're very close friends. :)

  • you shouldn't

  • I wouldn't do shit even if I was attracted to her that shit is weird