Guys, so guys do you expect a woman to "give out" & have sex on the first date. And how is this approach different than paying a prostitute?

Seriously. I see many posts about paying for dinner and "getting nothing in return". How is paying for dinner & expecting sex no different than giving a prostitute money for sex?

It's the same thing isn't it? You spend money = expecting sex. You pay a prostitute = expecting sex. You buy dinner = expecting sex.

What's the difference. I'm truly curious about the mindset of men who think dinner = sex.

0 1

Superb Opinion

  • I don't expect sex on the first date, nor do I want it. A woman who would have sex on the first date is not a quality woman.

    But let's think about the paying for dates thing. If a woman goes on a date with a man and doesn't offer to pay her share, she's either a prostitute if she has sex with him, or she's an escort accepting money in exchanges to her company. There are no other options.

    Many women justify this outdated practice by saying the man should show he values her company. Does she not value his? Think about it.

    Others use the excuse that whoever asks should pay, which of course is equally nonsensical. A date is supposed to be about spending time together, getting to know each other and enjoying each other's company. She should get just as much out of the experience as he does. So why does she feel entitled to him paying for her? And therein lies the answer... entitlement, and self-importance. That should be a red flag to any man looking for a quality woman.

    Women have been talking the equality talk for decades, but they have yet to walk the walk.

    • Except for the fact that men who are raised properly are raised by their parents to pay for their date. Their father if he respects his wife would've taught his sons to pay for their dates from the age of 16 when they started dating. Just as how a father who respects his wife would tell his daughter never to give out sex on the first date & that if a guy doesn't pay for you, he's not worth much. In previous years & generations part of paying for the date is to indicate that you are willing to supply for your date and potential partner without begrudging them. It was used as an indication of a man's character and if he'd be suitable as a partner or if he is someone who behaves as if his teeth are being pulled from his head without anesthesia as the simplest cheapest of requests.

Most Helpful Guy

  • No. I don't expect that at all but on the other hand it doesn't hurt the chances for us seeing eachother again. I tend to get bored easily and have a tendency to view "holding out" as a way of manipulation, basically a way for a woman to see how badly I want her and I really don't feel like being stringed along like that.

    What separates it from prostitution is that I view a woman who actively have sex without payment enjoys it and/or the one she has sex with as opposed to holding out and seeing just how much sex with her is worth to a man... For what is that if not selling oneself?

    Lastly I'm opposed to the idea that the successful outcome of a relationship is based on how long sex was avoided. I've been in my longest relationship for 8 years and we certainly were intimate on our first date. It has nothing to do with sex but the fact that we had similar interests, values and for a time in our respective lives saw mutual benefit in having a relationship.

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What Guys Said

(15)
  • I do not expect it. That’s what dating was. An exchange for a woman or brokering as a wife. Look it up. It’s not like it is a new phenomenon.

    You’ll enjoy the read and getting informed.

    • Only an idiot would think a wife gives out on the 1st date though.

    • Yeah, she would not be my wife with that kind of poor judgment. Any body or penis will do thoughts go through my head.

  • I can understand where you are coming from when you boil it down to things he pays for goods and services and expects sex in return. But you also have to consider them goods and services are being offered as a guesture of love and feelings for that person. The question is does the woman appreciate the guesture in a way that will make her knickers slip off.

    • 1st date? Impossible for something to be offered as a gesture of love & feelings for that person.

    • You are, on your first date, nothing more than strangers to one another. Calling it a gesture of love & feelings for that person when such feelings would almost never exist within the first date is just covering up the fact you're paying for the meal expecting sex. Paying for sex like she's a prostitute.

    • Not strictly my first date with my girlfriend was after 2 months of text and phone chat

  • If a woman want to prove that she is not a prostitute then she should pay for herself.

  • I don't "give out" on the first date, so no I don't expect her to. I wouldn't even go there till she is ready and I am sure she is the one I want to be with. I've held out for 6 months bc I wanted to be sure she was the one I wanted to be with. I was upfront about wanting to take the time to get to know her, it was the best thing I ever did.

  • It is the same. And a woman expecting the man to pay to get her time is the same as her being an escort.

  • No, don't want it and would turn it down.

  • No if you give out on the first date I actually have no intention of dating you and at that point it is only sex. Every guy’s expectations are different but even with my high sexual libido I expect a first date to be getting to know each other and learning if we are a good match.

  • I never expect that on a first date or any date. It should happen whenever we are ready, not after a specific number of dates or as and expectation.

  • I never expected it. Sometimes it just happens.

  • I do not see an issue with that, If am really attracted to a girl, and we get to know each other on the first meeting (normally starbucks) then if we proceed to the dinner phase, with a movie etc.. I normally expect a makeout session with a on her knees BJ or car BJ. and more than half the time I get just that.

    • And how many do you actually date & how many do you dump afterwards like a prostitute?

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