So I lied about cumming…?

At the beginning of this relationship I lied about cumming because I thought it wasn’t a big deal. I guess I just thought it was mental for me or that eventually I would feel some sort of pleasure from sex.

Now it’s been awhile and obviously he just thinks he’s winning. I’ve tried and tried to show him how to touch me. I’ve tried to tell him what I like… and now none of it feels good at all…

You can go ahead and judge me elsewhere…

Advice on how or if I should break this news? Sex is starting to feel like a really big chore…
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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • As difficult as it is you need to open up about how you feel regarding sex together. If not, the relationship is going to end bitterly when you find pleasure elsewhere. It is natural to want to be explosive when you are having sex with someone you are in a committed relationship with. If not you are just becoming roommates, and that always comes to an end.

    I once had a really great girlfriend, we both hit it off with everything we did together. I never enjoyed doing so many things as I did with her. But our sex life was not what you would expect from a relationship you thought could have ended in marriage. When it finally blew we never even discussed sex. But if I was feeling unfulfilled, I know she we too.

    Giving your body to another person is the most intimate thing you can do. You should feel like you are getting something important back. You need to find a private quiet evening together and tell him how much the relationship means to you. It means so much that you are willing to take a giant step forward and express your feelings about being intimate together.

    Be totally prepared for the evening. Be ready to listen to him also. He may be wanting more things than you are even aware of. You both may have some defensive walls built up or maybe it is just to damn hard to talk about sex. He may have never taken the time to listen to a woman tell him what she needs. Keep an open mind to his perspective and but do not lose site of what you need to tell him.

    This can be an evening that ends with your sex life together going atomic! Or maybe you both find it just to hard to discuss. If that is the case it is best to know that, shake hands politely, and move on to other relationships.

    When you set up the evening make sure it is obvious this is going to be a romantic evening. Dinner, favorite beverages, dress so he can tell you are interested without trying to look slutty. Take him to your bedroom, let him enjoy a sensual strip tease, take his clothes off him, then take charge by taking his hand and putting it where you want him to touch you, and also touch him where he wants to be touched. This is a way to letting actions speak for themselves while also letting him know verbally how he is pleasing you. You are trying to open both physical and emotional doors so he becomes comfortable talking about sex with you.

    Best wishes

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you need to just have a very open and honest conversation in the bedroom… This really needs to happen in the privacy of your bedroom. I don't think you necessarily need to break up, but you probably should. If the sex is something you want to work on, it is possible to fix, but it doesn't sound like you much interest in fixing things at this point.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Aaaand that's why you don't lie. If he's right for you, he'll listen

  • Why not just teach him how to actually make you cum?

    • I keep trying to show him… like I brought it up in light conversation. I explained my points. I showed where abouts and how… but still it didn’t change anything

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 4
  • Do a cuddle after sex and find a funny but gentle way to tell him what the real deal is, and hopefully he'll step things up.

  • This is a good reason not to lie to your partner.

    I'm not sure how to help you here other than for you to tell him the truth and deal with the consequences. Communication, honest communication, is very necessary in a relationship and a marriage.

  • If you can't tell him the truth ( and he deserves to know), than maybe its time to break up, learn from this, and move on.

  • Tell him you'd like for the two of you to see a sex therapist.