Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
People usually tell us what we need to know. The real question is whether we are listening.
I know a girl who fell really hard for her friends with benefits and he didn't feel the same. Classic. But he never lied. He never acted like someone interested in a relationship. He told her that he isn't serious by saying it is just hooking up and that's it.
He would ignore her for weeks and was sometimes just rude. But in her head they were madly in love. He was her future husband.
It didn't matter that he would ignore her for weeks. It didn't matter that he never once asked her how her day is or that he never spoke about anything other than sexual. It didn't matter that he TOLD HER STRAIGHT OUT THAT THIS IS JUST SEX.
She chose to ignore that because he was cute, she liked his personality when they were together because he could make her laugh and the sex was good. She failed to consider the fact that he never talked to her when they were apart or tried to include her in his life or talked down to her were aspects of his personality just as much as his sense of humor.
She didn't want to see the truth. Instead she lived in a fantasy world and chose to ignore the reality of the situation. She fell in love with a fantasy version of him and wrote her own story where they were a madly loving couple. And that's what kept her going. Her defense mechanism was her distortion of reality. Until one day she couldn't stand it anymore and the walls started to break as she realized that he truly doesn't love her and just wants sex. And then she fell apart.
He used her. He broke her heart. Or so she claims. But that's only one view, albeit somewhat distorted.
He told her his intentions and she willingly agreed to continue. She let him have sex willingly and continued to even when he would ignore her for weeks. She finally communicated that she had deep feelings and he told her he doesn't feel the same. But she can't really blame him. She lived in a fantasy and then became upset when her fantasy of him didn't become reality. She really broke her own heart by having sex with a guy she has deep feelings for who straight out told her he doesn't want a relationship with her and showed it in his actions.
Really she indirectly broke her own heart. When you agree to be in a situation where your emotional desires are not met by this person and the person tells you he or she will not give more emotionally you are really hurting yourself by staying.
Should we pretend to see a green light when it's red so we can get places faster? No, that would be extremely dangerous. So why do we tell our hearts there is a green light, go, when the light is really red? When you get a red it means the other person's heart is closed. If you try to drive on red you will just crash. So to when you think that having sex with a person you have feelings for will get you a relationship when he says he doesn't want one with you. It won't work. You are just putting your heart in a dangerous territory and living in lala land instead of seeing what is in front of you, reality. Living in a parallel imaginary universe where you change reality is the way to get your heart broken and yes you set yourself out on that path when you refuse to see and consider the reality in front of you. Especially in matters of the heart. By acting based on your one sided feelings without taking into account how the other person feels you are setting yourself up for heartbreak.
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