Staring at me after sex?

[Anonymous]

Sooo, my friends with benefits and I just had an enjoyable night last night. Very different than usual. I must say. Even the kiss afterwards... Very passionate. Hell, we weren't trying to be. It just was. He was so caught up, the condom fell off. He was holding himself after he pulled out. While kissing me, he forgot he was holding himself. The funny part is he snapped out of it (Whatever was going through his mind) once he realized the condom fell off. I'm like "Umm, you already came. Soooo, why are you jumping up so quickly." I thought it, but I didn't say it. Good thing he did, because he caught it just in time before it spilled. He got up as usual and flushed the condom down the toilet. He jumped back in the bed behind me. I rolled over and proceeded to go to sleep. Our usual sleeping in our birthday suits after having a good time. Usually, we just lay butt naked wherever we landed in the bed. Up or down. Or, sometimes in the middle. Or, he'll be up or I'll be down. You get the picture. This time we were at the top of the bed laying side by side. While I was trying to sleep, I felt that I was being watched. I was curious to know if I was. When I turned around to see if he was sleep, he was staring at me. I was so shock! I turned around quickly. LOL! Straight stare. I can't really describe it. I honestly regret I didn't turn around and ask him. Why do you think he was staring at me?

[Koneko911]

Why does it matter... I will never understand why someone will have a friends with benefits then question every small thing... u want us to say cause he likes you which defeats the friends with benefits part of your relationship

[FilmGuy93]

For real... I don't like telling people how to live their lives, but if you can't just take something for what it's worth, are you really mature enough to be having sex?

[Koneko911]

@FilmGuy93 my problem is it's annoying women here saying they have a friends with benefits. Which is from my understanding just someone you tuck with no feelings attached... yet every goddamn one here ask does he like me. I got feelings and all this shit... then fucking date someone... stop messing up the arrangement lol

[FilmGuy93]

Exactly! And these stupid "situationships" everyone gets into. Claiming they don't have time to date and want to focus on their career, but want to act like the people they're fucking exist to be their on-deman boyfriend/girlfriend. STOP FUCKING. You aren't built for this. Get yourself a vibrator or a fleshlight and some therapy; and just stay the fuck single until you can handle the basics of human interaction.

[Koneko911]

@FilmGuy93 my point exactly. It becomes sad and pathetic when a partner has to overthink every little thing in hopes it means the other likes them... which most of the time is a hard no. They just wanna keep fucking

[Asker]

Smile. I here you. But to be honest. When you have sex with a friend or sorts you do like them. You may not want a serious relationship with them but do like them enough to have sex with them. Attraction for me is a must... But, um, I understand your point. It's just not at me. I'm good. I know my position. If you're my fuck buddy, your my fuck buddy. Lover, etc... The qualifications for my boyfriend or husband are totally different. You gotta know what you want and stay in that lane. And, I do good in driving in my lane.

[Koneko911]

I disagree. The idea of liking your friends with benefits is stupid. They're there to fuck you. Not for you to like

[Asker]

Just curious of the stare. I was hoping some of the men would humor me. And, well, you haven't disappoint.

[Koneko911]

Because it's a stare... and I don't get why it matters

[Asker]

LOL! You never had good sex I take it. But, the like you think of is what females and males get caught up. You see I like how he makes me feel. How I turn him on. How he turns me on. How he smells, etc. Sex is deeper than a straight "FUCK"! I must say we enjoy ourselves. And, that's what it is all about. I hate straight fuckin... It's boring. Not much lust to just stick your dick in me... couple of pumps and you done. No, you better FUUUCK ME! Lust me! Suck me! Lick me! LOL! Damn! Let me give him a call. Fuck! I'm turned on.

[Koneko911]

Baby girls I've probably had way better sex than you. And again no friends with benefits is supposed to be about fucking. If you think it means more than date the damn dude. My God you clearly fucking like him

[Asker]

LOL! Koneko911. It doesn't matter in the way you are taking it. LOL! Stare is a stare. It actually can be whatever I desire it to be. Just like anything in this life. I'll say this. I'm the type of female if you want a relationship beyond what I said I wanted or agree to, you have to pursue. I don't pursue sex nor a serious relationship. It is what it is. My word is my word. I like having sex with you and that's all there is. If you say it was just a stare. It was just a stare.

[Koneko911]

Uh no a stare is a stare baby girl... you can't make it mean what you want it to. You want it to be more than it is because u like the dude... the fact you're 40+ and can't admit that simple thing just proves you don't need to be in a relationship rather sexual or emotionally

[Asker]

LOL! Quantity doesn't mean quality, my dear. Most people don't know how to have good sex. Ask millions of women who never orgasm. LOL! That's should tell you. LOL! Don't project what you couldn't handle on me. You may or may not engaged in a casual relationship... but that's the funny part when females don't realize the man or men they tried to be in a relationship only want sex and not a relationship. SMH. But I digress. It's a worthless retort to go back and forth. Different of opinions that will never change anyone's points of view. It was nice chit chatting with you.

[Koneko911]

Because u are a grown women who asked wtf a stare means... literally something a 13 year old girls ask... and u expect people to give u a specific answer because that's ultimately again what u want...

[FilmGuy93]

@koneko911 She's honestly reacting just like the people we were talking about would. This is a 45 year old woman who (and I say this with all the respect in the world) is not emotionally mature enough to have a sexual relationship. She's even talking about how she doesn't chase, which is the same kind of thing you hear from the instagram boss babes. Asker, I'm not even trying to talk shit on you right now

[Asker]

@FilmGuy93 What are you talking? If not shit on me? And, that's cool. It's your opinion and thoughts on the matter. I can respect that. But, what I don’t understand, "I can't stand in my "truth" You can't believe that one especially a woman can be very solid in her lane regarding sex". I understand what and where you are coming from. I speak to males and females all the time about their relationships. "Trust" I get it. There's a lot of hurt out here due to people not understanding what love is. And, how to move casual and serious regarding relationships. Or, what sex is. Sex is not love. And, if not done in marriage as it was designed to be. Sex is a mutha! Sex is very powerful. Very deceiving. Manipulative. Addictive. The sex that most people have is lust/desire and not love. Lust/desire will make you think you're in love. It's toxic. I don't believe in boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. Either you date to get to know each other (which doesn't involve sex) with intentions to marry or you leave well alone. Boyfriend and girlfriend relationships are no different than people hooking up. You just commit yourself to one person for months or years or so. So, your my boyfriend and not my husband? So it's ok now to have sex with you and you only. Um, we're not married? Why am I claiming someone in that matter? Playing a wife or husband several times over never to marry or think of marriage is crazy to me. Folks do not really get together for marriage these days. Most settle at being a girlfriend or boyfriend. Neither male nor female should give themselves in that matter until marriage. Don't give me the "you gotta have sex to get to know someone is sexually capable" Or, whatever BS to justify having sex before marriage. I'm wrong to have sex outside of marriage too. But, I be damned if I'm going to act like I'm in one.

[Asker]

I can like you and enjoy your company. "Marriage", I take serious. My friend would not qualify to be my husband. I have a different criteria for a serious relationship. Casual relationships I have my criteria as well. I like my relationships to be enjoyable. Not with people I dislike or whatever folks do to so call dead their emotions. I'm very upfront about mine. I like you but I don't love you nor want to be in a serious relationship with you. You can play all day with that. But, my stand will still be the same. People kill me with their "you gotta know if you're sexual capable." Sex before marriage is wrong no matter how you flip it.

[FilmGuy93]

@asker What I mean is that I'm not just trying to antagonize you. It's meant to be tough love. It is so abundantly obvious that you want something more with this person than just friends with benefits. Whether or not your logical brain sees that as a possibility is another story, but part of you wants that. The fact you aren't acknowledging that is just very telling. You aren't in tune enough with yourself to identify emotions and that's a sign of immaturity.

[Asker]

@FilmGuy93 So tell me do you have a wife or a girlfriend? Are you single? You don't think people can like, enjoy each other and be expressive of how one makes them feel in a casual relationship? And, how do you define a casual or serious relationship? Yes, I do like him. And, he likes me too. The stare could have been I'm not like others. He may have wanted to cuddle. Or, thought I would kiss on him. Which I tend to do in a flirty playful matter after having sex because I want more. But that night, I just turned over and proceeded to go to sleep. He may have experienced females wanting to cuddled after a night like that. I'm good either way. I thought he was trying to sleep too. But, he was staring at me. The stare could be anything. And, only he knows. And, well, asking will not produce an honest answer. So, I'll act like it wasn't nothing. But, no one stares at you without a thought. If he wanted to cuddle, he should have expressed it. And, I never said I did or did not like him in my previous post. Why would you have sex with someone you don't vibe, have chemistry with? I might as well fuck a rapist. No offense. It's crazy that people act like it's a sin to express your feelings. It's the reason you are engaging with a person in such a matter. You like they way they make you feel. Or, they make themselves available to you, which makes you feel a certain kind of way. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't engage with people I don't like. And to me it's immature to be in a relationship with no interest in marrying. No matter how you try to voice wrong or right about sex in a relationship... If you are not married, you are immature thinking being a boyfriend is different than being friends with benefits or Fboy or Lover. It's all the same. Just different criteria and rules. I rather not fake marriage, if sex and a good time is all I want.

[Asker]

Sex is for marriage and not before. And, if you can't handle sex and what it does to you, you shouldn't engage in it. Shoot, people go crazy either way friends with benefits, Fboy or boyfriend when you leave the relationship because sex creates a strong false narrative if not done in marriage. That's why you are talking to me they way you are talking. Did you not experience hurt after thinking you had a bond with a female? I have never had a boyfriend. Don't want one. I know it's a false narrative to substitute marriage. If we're not going to date towards an engagement towards marriage, it's a wrap.

[FilmGuy93]

I was in a committed relationship that ended a few months before the pandemic, and I have been very happily single since, but my romantic life isn't relevant to this conversation.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Possibly just admiring 👀

[Asker]

Possibly.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Maybe he realized his raincoat fell off & he was waiting for your reaction & looking for the nearest exit as well.

[Asker]

LOL! That's what I thought. I'm like "Dude!" You bust a nut outside me! That's why I like him. He never bust a nut inside of me though he wears a condom. Betta safe than sorry.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Don’t be surprised if he’s out like a fat kid in dodgeball or he ghosts you until you inform him you are not pregnant. I double dare you to mess with him & tell him you are prego.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

I’m surprised he didn’t zip up his pants & run like hell.

[Asker]

LOL! He straight. I'm good. I don't play with trying to be unplanned parent. I want what my parents gave me. Both parents in the home. So, I try my best in having safe sex. Hell, sex is never safe. You're always setting yourself up to be a parent. That's what having sex is for. To procreate. Populate land. Not so much for pleasure. Pleasure is good. Don't get me wrong. LOL! And, he he ghost me or run for hills or dodge me... He can remain dead. I don't chase men for sex or relationships. If you don't want to play no more or be with me - I'm good. No need to stress when another is already waiting his turn or I'll meet another along my life journey.

[FilmGuy93]

I don't know how to answer this without insulting your intelligence.

[Asker]

No, problem, my friend. It's just a curious question that I thought I would share a funny moment for intelligent/unintelligent responses.

[FilmGuy93]

I hear yah. But the fact you asked this at all... Please do consider abstaining from sex for awhile

[Asker]

Just curious. The stare was strange to me. That's all. LOL! Never happened before. You're right. Sex should be for marriage and not for pleasure in the way we as a society have turned it into. To abstain will take a lot of discipline because we have great chemistry. We always have a good time. But, I understand your point of view.

[Amur8711]

Admiring or has feelings for you more than friends.

[Asker]

Well, that's fine don't you think? The bad part is he will never express it for the fear of showing emotion. Casual relationships you can't express how one makes you feel. You just try to do crazy stuff to trick someone into a serious relationship. Nothing wrong with saying I like being with you. You're not telling me you love me and you want to be with me. I think a lot people in casual relationships tend to mix the two. You think just because you express your enjoyment of someone they suppose to be with you. You're in love. Yeah, I love what we do, but I don't love you. I don't want a serious relationship with you. It's fine to be open and expressive how one make you feel. But, it is wrong if you think something should happen because of. Expressing your feelings doesn't make look bad. Not to me. Shoot, we're doing something right, because we're here in this casual relationship to feel good not bad. LOL! I don't get folks in that "You gotta be tough" "show no emotion" If you can't handle a casual relationship, don't do it. It's not for faint in heart.

[Amur8711]

So since your friends with benefits you want him to say how he is truly feeling. Because your not a casual relationship?

[Asker]

I want anyone that I'm with casually to feel open to express themselves and not feel guarded. You feeling me, isn't love for me. Some will get it, and others will not. They will look at it as one trying to get in a serious relationship. I only met one person who understood that without saying it. And, we were cool until the relationship ran its course.