I still miss the guy I lost my virginity to?

It's been almost 6 months and I still miss this guy. We were never in an actual relationship. We were just friends with benefits, but I ended it abruptly because I wanted more, yet was afraid to let him know because the rejection would hurt so much. I would rather have just disappeared from his life instead of be shot down like that. I felt like I was getting mixed signals because he acted like he just wanted sex, but when we were together I really felt like he liked me. And I'm not a gullible woman, but I truly felt that way unless he was a very good actor, I think that he did. But we were so different. I'm in college and motivated with my new career and he's kind of a bum. Honestly I know that I "dated down" but I gave him a chance and ended up really catching feelings. After I quit talking to him, he would call and text almost everyday.. I had to block his number. I miss him but I just had to make a clean break because I didn't just want to be used for my body anymore. Is what I did right? I keep having dreams of him and I am a prophetic dreamer. I think he still thinks of me, even if its because I just left him like that
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Most Helpful Guy

  • in my opinion, breaking up with him was the smartest move. The REAL lesson you hopefully learned here is that sex comes with powerful emotions (for women especially, even if they didn't want them), and so because you know sex is going to make you get attached, it is VERY important that you choose your guys VERY carefully and VERY thoroughly, and make sure they are boyfriend material, that they are compatible with you and your views and values, and that they want a relationship with you, too.

    Even that won't guarantee that you'll never get hurt, but the odds would be much, MUCH more in your favor than if you just date some random guy who has low compatibility with you, and/or just wants casual sex with you. That is a recipe for disaster. Instead, take your time, talk a lot and ask lots of questions, and BE HONEST about the answers you get: if you discover any red flags, don't dismiss them or be in denial about them - talk it out and make sure you can live with whatever compromise you can make with him on that subject, and if you can't live with it, then you have to break it off with that guy, no matter how much you "like him."

    The more you invest in finding a good guy, the better your relationship will be long-term.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I lost my virginity to a friends with benefits too. I fell for him and he knew that. We tried the relationship thing but I felt like we were still friends with benefits . So he broke it off saying he just couldn't make himself like me.
    So basically he just used me. I don't miss him though. He used me, so why bother still having feelings for him?

    You should try and move on. You don't deserve a friends with benefits , you need a real man in a real relationship.

  • I lost it to a friends with benefits too. He really toyed with my emotions and it led to a series of poor decisions that I regret. The best thing is to have no more further contact with this guy. He may still think of you like mine did. Using me as a cure for loneliness and emotional support without ever giving anything back. Take the other's advice here and dont let this one decision dictate who you are.

  • Don't worry all those feelings go away eventually. Everytime I have difficulties getting over anyone I watch 500 days of summer and I remind myself that I can take time but eventually I just need a new muse. Just keep on moving forward

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