Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I haven't been having sex for long, but I wish that someone had told me that sex doesn't always work the way you'd want it to right away.
Your first time simply may not be that great, and it would be fine if it wasn't so heavily romanticized.
Even if you're with someone you love, it may be awkward.
He may not be able to get or maintain an erection, she may not be able to relax enough for the penis to enter the vagina.
That's fine though, just take your time.
What Girls & Guys Said
19 28Honestly, it's quite bizarre how virginity is made out to be something sacred or special... we don't celebrate "not having ridden a bicycle" or "never having eaten garlic butter trout". I mean, all of those can be enjoyable and memorable experiences when you do them for the first time, but... let's just stop trying to make first sex seem like some life-changing event, it's just sex and chances are, it's not even gonna be that good if you're completely inexperienced
My view exactly. 👍👍👍
I agree with you. I remember when I lost mine and I've been with a couple virgins since then. No romance involved at all. I mean it's nice to kiss and stuff but once I get inside I can't like slow down.
It's not romanticing at all I think it's about the thrill of something new your happy you are neverous you fell shy and all kinds of thing it's basically emotions you can stop it from feeling the first are always going to be something more either good or bad
Agree hun well said
Yea I really don't get the whole valuing of virginity thing it can actually be a huge detriment to an individual growing up I know it was for me!
Yep very good valid points because my first time was like that as well
For a lot of people it is one of the most memorable experiences if they do it right so why you raining on their parade? Ill never forget losing mine or the times I've taken girls virginities. All my experiences like that were awesome and very special.
Jesus christ.. Sex is a sacred act; the more we try to kill that sacred cow the further we become from each other and the more nihilistic society becomes in general. Stop normalizing your bad decision making skills, and start being a better fucking person.
Sex is what you make of it. For some it may be sacred, for others it isn't at all. Purity culture is toxic and largely damaging for both sexes.
@Subarugirl This is a really bad way of thinking about it. We have a divide in this country the likes of which we've never seen before because nobody holds anything as sacred anymore. Sex is directly correlated with intimacy in a healthy relationship and society, there's no argument you can make against that.
Actually it’s really not, not for everyone. For a lot of people sure, but for a lot of people it’s not. That is a grossly generic statement. There have been divides before that have been worse… namely the Civil War. You don’t get to dictate what people hold sacred. If you want to that’s great, if someone else doesn’t that’s their choice. I’ve been married over 4 years and I have never considered sex to be sacred
I am with @subarugirl on this one. Purity culture, abstinence preaching have proven to be damaging in many ways including life long sexual shame, sexual incompatibility, sexual disfunction, sexual abuse, sexual assault, paedophelia, abusive marriages. I don’t think I even cracked the surface here.
I agree with you @DeltaCharlieEcho
"Sacred act." LMAO You must be great in bed. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Then you should also stop romanticizing keeping your virginity
Yeah we need to stop fetishizing it. But I do feel there should be a law that only virgins can fck virgins.
How would you implement that law though? Since virginity is a social concept more so than a biological "trait", there's no way to definitively prove that someone is a virgin or not. Also, what would the sanctions be?
Very true. Honestly I think current age of consent laws are pretty good.
Interesting myTake
I did take my time. That's why I'm still a virgin. Passed on a girl because she was the wrong one.
Yes, makes sense.
My loss of virginity was both awesome and awkward, my girlfriend at the time felt no pain, I did. Very awkward. Both virgins.
But it was awesome and awkward because she came really thirsty and I also let myself get carried away a little bit.
Okay
Agreed! First time is usually overrated. It gets a lot better with time.
Couldn't agree more.
I have a question about that... Me and my boyfriend tried a few months ago and it didn't go in, I was so tight. I tried doing alone stuff at home with bigger objects and it didn't go in, this Friday we will try again but I don't know what to do
I would recommend you discuss this with your doctor, but are you doing enough foreplay? You need to make sure you are really wet and turned on enough to relax.
@loves2learn I made researches about it and learnt it could be caused by a trauma or sexual assault but I never had a bad experience like that, we do enough foreplay and I really want him but it just doesn't happen and I don't know why
Definitely visit your doctor. It is possible something happened that you don’t remember but your body does. It could also be vaginismus. Is he able to finger you without pain? Is he rather large? These are my other thoughts.
@idkwhaymyfn you may also want to try pulling one or both of your legs back and having either him or you massage your clitoris as he is trying to enter you. That might help your vagina relax enough to let him in.
@loves2learn yes he can finger me without pain but he never got inside me. ı will see a doctor after this Friday if we can't do anything still. Thank you for your concern and kindness ❤️
@idkwaymyfn you are very welcome. Let me know if you have other questions. :)
I agree with the OP that less emphasis should be placed on romanticizing our first sexual experience. All the candles and other associated fluff are often good times with a long term partner, but human nature is sure to override such efforts during that very first time. It's more like a recipe with a couple dashes of the giggles, two cups of awkward, a pinch each of lust and pain, and a very small hourglass with sand to measure time with as it won't be a lengthy affair. 😉
People are free to romanticize it if they want.
Even suicide? Lol 😂 I am all for freedom but somethings should be taught as unhealthy choices or lifestyle
@vald9inches that's a far fetch comparison.
Not being able to maintain his hard cock? I can’t relate to that issue with my boyfriend. He can’t get his dick to go down when he’s with me 🤣
I just wish people would stop looking down on others for being virgins. In my experience, it can cause genuine problems, like depression, suicidal ideation, self harm, statutory rape, being trapped in abusive relationships, and probably other stuff that hasn't happened to me.