Stopped having sex because of his porn usage?

My husband knows how I feel about it. He made me believe he doesn't like it anyways and would never do anything to compromise our sex life or to hurt my feelings.

He can't stop. He keeps lying and hiding it. He makes exuses not to have sex. Most of our sex ends up with him stopping and saying "i don't know if I can finish. Sorry." Or if he does he immediately goes to the bathroom and washes himself.

I told him I dont care if he watches it anymore but I dont want to have sex with him anymore. It only makes things harder for us. It makes me feel insecure because he gets irritated when I dont like anal or am not flexible or whatever else.

It makes me feel used and like sex to him is not out of love. He makes me feel like im ugly. He doesn't even like to look at me naked. I dont know what to do.

I dont want to have sex with him and my sex drive itself is non existant now. I sort of hate myself and have grown bitter.
1 0

Superb Opinion

  • Usually, I'll side with guys because we guys are truly visual creatures.

    But reading your details, I think your husband has an addiction and is causing friction to your marriage. This is wrong.

    But I think stopping sex is not the solution.

    This is because it will cause him to look elsewhere and worse, start affairs.

    May I suggest (ya, suggest, you decide):

    1) keep you sex alive

    2) but cultivate intimacy, trust and vulnerability for each other.

    3) don't forbid porn, but instead ask him to show you what he likes.

    In this way, you can see how you may satisfy him sexually.

    No, not to follow the acts there, but understand WHY he likes them and HOW to help him overcome those desires.

    Key principle: know his needs and then appeal to his senses that you need his attention too.

    Be patient and understanding. I'm a guy. I know how weak emotionally I could be. And to win him, appeal to his heart because you're his wife.

    Hope this suggestion can help.

Most Helpful Guy

  • This is unfortunately a prime example of why porn destroys love and true intimate relationships. It’s also a prime example of how males are rewired by porn and fashion to never see a woman normally, and always requiring her to unnaturally modify her body to some fictitious form of so called perfection. Or how sex can’t even be normal with all the sick violent, anal, and oral only sex.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He has a porn problem. Porn addict. He needs help. He is ruining your marriage and your own self esteem for la la land garbage. Tell him to go with you to get help or you will send him permanently to Porn Hub---Forever more.

    • Amen sis.

    • I feel for you, sweetheart. How hurtful. I would be the same way.

    • Thanks, Gag. xx

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 10
  • I see no reason to watch porn when you have a SO that is willing to have sex with you. If I want sex I'm going to my SO first if for some reason she turns it down then yea porn is the next step but porn would never trump the real thing

  • I think watching porn is a form of cheating in some ways, I also think he can stop

  • You should get in touch with me. I watch porn but it\s not skin on skin

  • Porn addiction is not easy to cure.
    Try to be a bit understanding.
    It took me a year to stop watchin porn completely.

    • Being understanding in this situation feels like I have to understand what makes me not good enough. Porn in a relationship is cheating and he said he agrees. Would you tell someone to understand why their spouse cheated on them? It feels like a personal attack.

    • It has nothing to do with you. I did watch it while i was in relationship, and it didn't make me love my girlfriend any less. I'd usually watch the ones with a storyline, and i did not fantasize about the girl, i just saw paid actors acting in a movie, got turned on by the act of sex, and that's all. I wouldn't fuck that woman if she got naked in front of me, or any other woman. It is not cheating, it's just an addiction that you should encourage him to get over. That's how i see it, you might have a different opinion, but that's alright, we can't all think alike. I hope you guys work things out ^^

  • What about watching it together

  • Your husband is addicted to porn and unless he admits it and seeks professional help, than nothing will change. He can't finish in you because he'd rather masturbate to some other woman.

  • Yeah, it’s time...
    A real man would never do that to you.

  • What if you watch it with him. I watch it with the wife. Ends up being a very erotic night together.

  • what is the quetions?

  • Offer him to start no fap journey.
    Everything will be solved after at least 1 or 2 months streak

  • Your decision is best. Watching porn while in relationship is a kind of cheating.

    • you're the only guy on here that has said that. I feel the same way and im glad that im not the only one. Thank you for the opinion

    • Yeah. Cos I used to watch porn at early stage of our relationship and only when she asked me to stop watching , I realised that I have been enjoying another woman's nude body while I have my own girl with me. Yeah that's fucking weird behaviour. I stopped it right there. Try to make him realise that. (Sorry for my bad English)

    • Should I consider ending the relationship?