Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Very few women don't receive an orgasm during sex because the guy they're with doesn't spend enough time on foreplay and focusing on the woman's needs. It has been scientifically proven that during a woman's orgasm she releases a hormone called oxytocin that is also known to be a "cuddling/love" hormone as well. It is released during pregnancy to bond with the baby. Males also have this, but males have a higher dose of testosterone. When males release oxytocin, it causes them to bond with the female afterward. Research has shown that this hormone can lead to a monogamous relationship for men because the more kissing, hugging, and intimate interactions both partners share with each other, the more likely they will both stay for a longer period of time.
However, in my case, it doesn't seem to happen that way. I've been with three men so far in my life. We can almost compare them to the 3 bears in Goldilocks, but just out of order: the first one was perfect- he had the right touch & was able to get me to orgasm, the second one just cared for his own needs, the third one was just not right. After the first week of no contact from the first guy, I was a wreck. So I sought out 2 other men (a month after that) but none of them were the same as the first. At first, I thought I was just high on oxytocin because I was intensely attached to him and I thought he would come back or at least give me a call or text.
But none of that happened. I didn't want to be that girl that seemed like she was too attached or desperate for him. After all, a hook up is just a hook up and nothing else. I can't see myself in a real relationship with him, anyway. Like why would I think something crazy like that? He's not even mine to begin with. We were two strangers having sex. As time passes, things got better eventually. And then I finally come to my senses: I tell myself that there are plenty of other men out there that will respect me, be faithful, and be loyal to me. I just have to patiently wait (like I've been waiting the last 21 years of my life) and go do my own thing until my Prince Charming finally arrives at my doorstep with a glass slipper.
One of my mottos in life is: If it was meant to happen, then it will happen and they'll eventually reappear in my life at one point or another. It's happened to me on a couple of occasions and I firmly believe this statement. My point with this? Even if both partners orgasm and release oxytocin, it is unlikely that he will stay with you. I'm still trying to figure out how a man's mind works. I'm still trying to figure out how to attract a man and how to keep a man by your side. Whatever it is that actually makes him have a monogamous relationship is truly powerful. If you are a man, let me know what your opinion on this. What does it take for you to be in a monogamous relationship other than just relying on chemistry?
What Girls & Guys Said
1 1First of all, scientific experiments that are definitive require controls. There have not been enough studies using controls to find out whether hormones are that relevant. I would say that all things being equal hormones play a role but all things are rarely equal. Counting on hormonal bonding is only going to result in disappointment. Next, I'm 25 not 22 which is not much older than you are at age 21 however, I can tell you without a doubt that the guy you are dating are not expected to be monogamous. That's not the way guys are built in their early 20s. If you are expecting to find a guy who wants to be by your side when you are 21 years old you are apt to be disappointed. Not not saying that you shouldn't be looking. If that's your thing well that's your thing. I do believe in my opinion and this is my opinion only that you are looking for Prince charming at way too early an age. But again it's not gospel and that's just what I believe. If you don't search then you won't be disappointed when you don't find. It is far better to understand men and learn them to seek something that is very difficult to find when you're 21.
A girl that holds him down and understand him