Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I’m confused.
As a healthy, adult, female I understand I have a right to feel safe in no matter what I choose to do. Yet, is it really a “right” or just a privilege we’ve convinced ourselves is actually a “right” to have to take away from the dangers we face as females in today’s society? Then again, have females ever really been safe in whatever society or timeframe we’ve found ourselves living in? Even if we go as far back as the Bronze Age or Roman Era, were we really even safe then, greater or less than we are now?
For example: Sexual assault on college campuses. You pay to attend a university and you expect a certain level of security while you’re there. You don’t want to get shot or assaulted while there as a student within reason, but what constitutes reasonable assurances we’ll be safe while attending college or anywhere else for that matter, such as walking through a shopping mall.
Do we as females really understand the risks we take when we step outside the boundaries of our home? Do we really comprehend the dangers lurking beyond such protection and how our choices make those dangers worse or increase the chance something is going to happen to us if we allow ourselves to forget just how dangerous other people and for the most part, males are to us in association with their wants, desires, and sexual drives?
Let’s say I go to a college party and while there I choose to drink and become intoxicated to the point I can’t stand up or protect myself. In an ideal world, I should still be safe, because surely no male is going to come along and rape me or assault me. While as a female we are attractive to self-assured, dominant, males who are strong and powerful, we also want them to be sensitive, caring, kind, and remember that barring those exceptions to the rules, males are typically bigger, stronger, and faster than us girls.
Yet, realistically, I’m not safe because if I do become so intoxicated I can’t consent to any sexual activity or protect myself, I might be sexually assaulted by someone sticking their fingers or other foreign objects inside of me while I lay there unconscious, or I might just be sexually assaulted by being physically raped.
However, if this were to happen, do I share part of the blame of what happened to me because I chose to drink or does the male share all the blame because he should know, supposed to already know, he’s meant to be both the protector of the weaker, fairer, sex, such as myself while also being the aggressive to attract suitable sexual partners or mates to form a relationship with?
I could choose to isolate myself from all males, take up the ideals of the mythical Amazons and be so mistrusting of males we only use them for breeding purposes, but then that’s not really addressing the issue; more like ignoring the root cause here and putting a piece of tape over a hole in a Dam and hoping for the best without actually solving the problem.
Should a female be able to go and do whatever she wants without fear of being raped or sexually assaulted? Absolutely, I one hundred percent agree. Should males know not to sexually assault or rape a girl they find intoxicated or passed out, because the girl is unconscious and intoxicated and can’t actually consent to sex? Absolutely, I one hundred percent agree with this too.
Still, do I also feel, as a girl, we should also be mindful of our actions and not place ourselves in unreasonable risk by what we choose to do or decide to do like drink so much alcohol we’re unable to put up a defense against someone choosing to harm us? Yes I do. Absolutely I do. We should be responsible for our own safety first and foremost, as well as counting on the chivalry of guys around us not to be jerks, perverts, or rapists.
Yet, it still leaves me confused why, especially on college campuses, with the number of girls being sexually assaulted on campuses around the country and around the world, does members of my gender still whine and complain when they are sexually assaulted or raped after they’ve done drugs or consumed so much alcohol they can’t even stand up.
Where do we draw the line between being empowered, being assured we are the equal of any man and can do whatever we put our minds to do and can compete in a male dominated society and world, and then playing the “gender” card when we are hurt, assaulted, or raped, because we feel playing and being the victim is the only way for us to be heard or to achieve justice.
To use the analogy, if we swim with sharks, do we really have the “right” or privilege to complain when we’re attacked, or can woman only really compete with the “sharks” if we shame them so badly they stop being sharks altogether, and are gold-fish instead.
Maybe we should just stop doing drugs and getting drunk...
No longer confused---just angry at my own gender now.
The End.
What Girls & Guys Said
9 22Quite an accurate Take. Good job.
I agree with this. Self-victimization is a bad method of persuasion and I feel like women will be more respected if they didn't do this.
You are 100% sexist and 100% fear driven !!
It's all a feminist/woman plot to demonize and subordinate men. The truth is that there is a RAPE EPIDEMIC CAUSED BY WOMEN.
Outside prisons, women rape at the same rate as men. 43% of teen boys/young men have been coerced into sex by a woman. Inside prisons women take the cake. In their prisons rate of sexual victimization is 3-5x higher than in male prisons. In juvi women are involved in over 90% of rapes despite being less than half the staff
Women are THE BIGGEST RAPISTS. Many more facts can be given, but this is enough for now.
WOMEN GET BENT
Yeah, that's a sad fact. Those numbers are alarming.
I know right... All too alarming. I wish it wasn't so.
Those numbers are fabricated and exaggerated. Don't buy into this crap.
@Browneye57 : Yeah and water's not wet either. I believe people are smart enough to read this for themselves and make up their own mind without people like you being so critical just because you don't agree with what's being said.
@Browneye57 you know this... how?
@Excited_soup How do I know? Take your average college campus - say a population of 15,000. Half are women, give or take, (it's usually more) so if 1 in 5 were raped you would have over a hundred 100 cases - the real statistics just don't support that model. Dig into it for yourself. Rape is actually on the decline. I'm not saying rape isn't wrong - anybody that rapes should land in jail. I'm just saying the women that keep perpetuating these exaggerated claims do so for effect, to bolster their SJW pursuit - however it's just not true.
Sorry, over a hundred cases a month. I doubt it's even 10 percent of that.
@Browneye57 there's definitely unreported cases, but in the circumstance you laid out it's something like 375 cases a year for each college, which is just unrealistic. That makes sense.
"he’s meant to be both the protector of the weaker, fairer, sex, such as myself"
You are saying men are meant to do something, thus you impose a gender role on men. At the same time you talk about how a woman should be able to do anything she wants AND be 100% safe AT ALL TIMES. Which is not realistically possible.
This is simply unacceptable. I 100% disagree with you.
You want to remove gender roles for women but enforce them for men? I cannot accept this at all. Never gonna do it.
The 1in 5 girls sexually assaulted on college campusses has been debunked.
socawlege.com/.../
Try reading it again. You missed something.
@JuicyBrain i know she said women should not drink and do drugs. That has nothing to do with the fact that she says men should protect women and while women are free to do what they want. Its no about drinking or irresponsible behavior its about the gender norms being impossed on men and removed from women.
No. You don't understand. SHE is not saying that. Read it again.
@JuicyBrain i dont care. This notion that social norms for men only need to exist has got to go.
Ok, and she agrees with that.
Heaven forfend that girls should ever actually have fun.
I think, under the topic of drinking and rape, there are a few things to be said.
The person raping the other person should not be doing so. Period. No ifs/ands/buts. That should be obvious.
However, the person bein for raped should account for the fact that there are people out there who will do things like that. There are shitty people and they will do shitty things do people if they are allowed to. At a party, you shouldn't mindlessly go and drink to the point that you're puking/can't stand/are passed out UNLESS you have people who can and will keep you safe.
Let me make an analogy.
We have houses/apartments, right? People can come in and steal your stuff, and that's not something that should happen, or you want to happen. Leaving your house unlocked allows this to happen, in the same way being in a foreign place with nobody to help keep you safe allows that to happen. Lock your house. Take precautionary measures to keep yourself safe. It's sad that we have to do this in this world, but you have to acknowledge there are people out there that do not give a FUCK about how you feel and will use you for whatever they want.
In this, I'm not trying to blame the person raped for what happened or anything like that - I'm just saying you need to keep in mind the risks of what you're doing and make sure you keep yourself safe. Sometimes you can't, and bad things happen no matter what you do. The fact that people out there are willing to take advantage of others like that is incredibly unfortunate and makes me wish people could be different, but I'd rather take action on what I CAN do rather than what I wish I could change. Be there for people around you if they need you. Make a difference.