Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
The first time I had sex, it wasn't legal. I was 15 and the guy was *gulp* 14, though I remember his birthday was in 9 days time after the day we lost our virginities to each other. I don’t at all condone having sex under age but this is just how it happened.
He was my first ever boyfriend at the time and I had met him online (I don’t condone that either). He lived half an hour away but it all worked out and I saw him once a week. He had a converted, bare attic so we’d spend all our time up there and we could be as loud as we wanted because we were technically three floors up. It was just a cool lounge space for us.
One summer’s day in the attic, we wanted to try the real deal. Up until this day we had been kind of intimate with each other, but never went the entire way or did much foreplay. The mood changed, we were kissing a lot and he wanted to get a little more familiar with my body. He broke my hymen in foreplay which was kind of painful and uncomfortable, so I thought sex would be horrendous. Eventually, he said “do you just want to have sex?”
That was a big question. So big in fact, I moved to the other side of the attic, sat on the stairs and really thought about it for like 20 minutes, whilst he waited and watched.
My mind was racing – “What if I get pregnant? How would I tell my mum? Am I slut if I do this? I’m not 16 yet, will I get arrested? What if he has an STI and I get it?!” You can see how young and naïve I was at the time, despite feeling a lot older than my age in terms of common sense. All I knew was that safety was the most important thing if I did do it and thankfully, he had some condoms already. My final thought was – “Well I need to get it out of the way at some point, better sooner rather than later.”
Am I slut if I do this? I’m not 16 yet, will I get arrested? What if he has an STI and I get it?!
I returned to my boyfriend who was very understanding and I told him that I was okay to have sex with him and so we got down to the deed. It actually wasn’t painful because he had broken my hymen earlier but there was also no pleasure. I didn’t feel anything but I put it down to it being our first time, not knowing how to hit each other’s spots and cause orgasm.
However, I eventually discovered it was just me, I couldn’t feel anything and it took many years to find out that it was really common and even my mum was the same. I had to fake it before I worked out my own anatomy and what worked for me (communication with your partner is key to good sex), though I never lied about having an orgasm, I just acted like I was feeling something.
He and I continued our relationship for almost two years after until he slept with his friend. He was so sex mad, I guess he couldn’t wait until the weekend until I came over to pleasure him. We would watch porn together and we’d have sex multiple times in the day. He wanted sex all the time and it kind of got exhausting and I started to feel used. There were times he would pester me for sex for a long time until I eventually gave in to quieten him and he would often just force himself on me. However, when I come to think of it now, he was young and naïve too, he didn’t know how to make a woman feel appreciated, how to control his urges and realising that everything should be in moderation!
I don't want to scare any young female virgins, not every guy will treat you like that. You soon learn how you should be treated and how to make sure you're treated that way.
He and I continued our relationship for almost two years after until he slept with his friend.
All in all, I don't regret having sex so young. I was actually glad when I had relationships with other guys who were sometimes very experienced. I wouldn't be nervous and I knew what to do when we decided to take our relationship to the next level. Each time has been a learning process for me and I'm happy to be a sexually liberated woman.
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