Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
In the short time that I've been on this site, I've seen this topic debated so many times. And there are so many different views when it comes to it. Which is to be expected. What I didn't expect to see, was so much ridicule and judgment towards those that aren't virgins. So I'm here to say my peace about the topic once and for all.
I am not a virgin. Let's just get that out of the way. I lost my virginity a month and a half before my 21st birthday. All but one of my friends lost their's before me. And guess what? I never judged them! Even though at that time, it was my plan to wait. Not necessarily for marriage, but until I was in a solid relationship. It never even crossed my mind to look down on them because they made a different choice from my own. That doesn't seem to be the case on here though.
I don't think that I've seen an argument on here from someone that has made the decision to wait until marriage, where they weren't being judgmental and condescending. I have no issues with virgins and people who are waiting until marriage. The issues arise when I'm told that I basically lack self control because I didn't wait. That's when it becomes a problem. And it's only on GaG that I run into these problems. I believe that that's because people on here tend to place virgins on pedastools. Which in turn, gives said virgins this holier than thou attitude and makes them think that it's ok to look down their nose at others. Not okay.
Again, I have no issues with virgins. I feel like they have every right to wait to have sex. For whatever reason. Be it a religious thing, a personal preference, whatever. However when it comes down to it, that decision doesn't make them better than anyone. And most (not all) of them seem to think that it does. They always use the excuse of having self control, self respect, morals and values as if people that have had sex are void of those things. Having sex doesn't make you a bad person! You can have self control and self respect and high morals and values and still have sex. And if someone tells you otherwise, they're lying.
Another thing I see a lot from virgins is this whole promiscuity thing. As if every person that decides to have sex before marriage goes around sleeping with everyone they come into contact with. I know plenty of people who chose not to wait, that have been in long-term relationships with the person the same person they lost their virginity to. In the 7 years that I haven't been a virgin I've had sex a whopping 3 times. THREE. In a 7 year range. And while I'm not happy with the circumstances surrounding the loss of my virginity, I don't think any less of myself because of it. I have plenty of self control and self respect. My morals and values are just as clear and just as strong as those of someone who may not have had sex yet.
The point of this is not to bash anyone. Like I said, I have no problems with virgins. If you've decided to wait, then more power to you. I respect your decision. I just want people to realize that having sex or not having it doesn't define who you are as a person. Stop thinking that it's ok to make these underhanded jabs at people because they've chosen a different path. We weren't created to be clones. Everyone is different. Everyone makes different choices. Self worth and respect, self control, morals and values...those aren't synonymous with sexual status and being a virgin. Non virgins can and do possess those things as well. So to all the virgins out there, please try to keep that in mind. You guys can come off as really offensive sometimes. And to all those that have had sex and have felt like you've been judged because of it, know that you aren't a bad person!
Later GaGers. Stay classy. And as always, thanks for reading.
What Girls & Guys Said
33 29A fine piece of writing indeed ^_^
Thank you kind sir.
I've never met anyone in real life that judges if someone is a virgin or not or met any guys that care how many guys a woman has been with or that they require a virgin girl. I've only seen it on this site and well... that's all I'm gonna say lol. But know that in the real world, men are not like this. Neither are the women.
Thanks for reading. And I agree. I never hear this IRL. You either are or you aren't and that's it. It's only a big deal on here.
Great point.
I'm a virgin, waiting until marriage, and I have no problem with people who choose to have sex. I know they don't go around sleeping with anybody because some actually care about relationships. Nearly all of my friends and family aren't virgins, and I don't care because they're all wonderful people regardless of if they've had sex or not. It's their choice so if they can respect my decision I can respect theirs.
Oh and by the way, wonderful take :)
Thank you for reading. And thank you for understanding that this wasn't an attack on anyone or me trying to promote anything other than the fact that we should try a little harder to be less judgmental. Thank you for your input.
@GenieLow are you religious or just waiting?
@KBob93 just waiting:)
There is a difference between judging some one who chose to remain virgin and judging some one who remains one out of circumstance. The former ridicule is plain stupid. The later is the one that truly hurts.
There should be no judgement at all. That's my point. Whether you are by choice, because of circumstance or if you're not one. No one should be talked about for it. Thanks for reading.
Well yes, I understand that. But it's unfortunately a pipe dream.
You've read my mind! Thank you for this post.
Thank you for reading!
I am a virgin and do not judge those I know that are/aren't. It is clearly a matter of choice. Although, I do judge those that decide to participate in one night stands and random hook-ups.
Thanks for reading. And yes, it is a matter of choice. Either way, no one should be judged for their decision.
Why? There is nothing right with having protected sex once in a while? Well i'm a guy so it's an ego booster too. I fuck with it.
im a virgin and im 28, I never fell in love and wanted sex, but now I recently did start to love someone and wanted to have sex with him. We have done pretty much everything, but im still a virgin. We tried to have sex but he has to wear largest size condoms and it hurt really bad when we tried :/ So nothign went in yet, besides a finger to try :p
But being a virgin or not , what does it matter :/ it just indicates wether someone had penetrative sex or not; doesn't make you better or less. I guess its mostly religious people who make it into a big deal. I am an atheist
Thanks for reading. I'm religious but I don't go overboard like some others. I'm not going to shun you because of a decision you made.
I think you have inspired me to write a take defending virginity especially given that world culture has drifted much in favor of promiscuity. So I'll start formulating my thoughts on that subject.
"The issues arise when I'm told that I basically lack self control because I didn't wait. That's when it becomes a problem."
I mean you do. Sex is an unnecessary compulsion. It could be argued that you or anyone else that is promiscuous lacks self-control.
Promiscuous: : having or involving many sexual partners
The above definition would imply more than one sexual partner technically.
"Having sex doesn't make you a bad person!"
Easily debatable.
"And while I'm not happy with the circumstances surrounding the loss of my virginity, I don't think any less of myself because of it."
Virginity: : a person who has not had sexual intercourse
Technically a virgin is a person who has had sexual intercourse but I personally think whether it was voluntary or not should play a part as far as other people are concerned.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to write your own take defending whatever you'd like. I stand firm in what I said. I don't feel bad for having had 2 sex partners in 7 years. I'm not a bad person because of it. I have plenty of self control. And I'm far from promiscuous. No amount of definitions and technicalities will change that.
@CHARismatic110 I intend to somewhat shortly. The above and the follow are not intended to be anything more than the other side: You not feeling bad about something doesn't necessarily make it right or not wrong. You realize that right? You're not a bad person because of it according to who? Have you considered that maybe you are? I'm not saying you are. It's just a question. "And I'm far from promiscuous. No amount of definitions and technicalities will change that." and "I have plenty of self control." That would be your connotation. Unfortunately the dictionary might disagree. I'm not condemning you. It's just my assessment based on the information you've given me. As human beings we have free will to make essentially whatever choices we like, for better or worse.
Sex is unnecessary? Tell it to a biologist. It's a healthy impulse. Just because a person didn't wait until marriage, it does not rule out the possibility that the sexual encounter was a fully planned, mature decision. As for "promiscuity", it is a subjective term; so is "many partners". You wouldn't say a remarried widow is promiscuous, would you? Even though she does fulfil the "more than one partner" condition. "Easily debatable." How so? She just said that having sex doesn't make one a bad person. I can't see how sex alone can make someone decay morally. Especially since "having sex" includes marital sex. I'm especially interested in you "easily debating" the point the Take Owner made. And the definition of "virginity" is also very fluid. Some people think some sorts of intercourse "qualify" more than others. It's a slippery subject to handle. You seem to think of virginity as "purity", that is moral one. It does not have to be the case.
@Slavanna pretty much covered all the bases. You can't and will think what you want. Like I said, I stand firm in what I said.
@Slavanna "Sex is unnecessary? Tell it to a biologist." Down-voting me before even asking me to elaborate. Tisk tisk I'm disappointed. But I digress: If sex is for ANYTHING other than reproduction it IS unnecessary and I'd be glad to argue with any biologist that says otherwise. [It being 'necessary' for the propagation for the species]. As far as it being a "healthy impulse" that is easily debatable. It also carries MANY risks. Do the risks associated with promiscuity outweigh the benefits? Perhaps. "fully planned, mature decision." debatable. "As for "promiscuity", it is a subjective term" No it isn't. It is clearly defined. Many = More Than One = Plural. "You wouldn't say a remarried widow is promiscuous, would you?" My initial thought is no because the other partner would no longer be alive thus removing the potential for more than one parter. But I will reflect on that. ""Easily debatable." How so?" Because morality IS subjective, always. UNLESS there is a God.
@Slavanna "And the definition of "virginity" is also very fluid." Not really: sexual intercourse = : sexual activity between two people; especially : sexual activity in which a man puts his penis into the vagina of a woman The notion "especially" is new. For thousands of years it had a single very clear technical definition.
@Slavanna ": sexual activity in which a man puts his penis into the vagina of a woman" Granted given that it is another entry I could use that as my focal point for this discussion and remove the other unnecessary talking point.
I have not down voted you just yet. Jumping to conclusions, aren't we? All I'm saying is that sex is sex, and a so-called slut may very well be a sweet, caring person. Their having sex does not drastically change their personality. And yes, sex drive is a healthy instinct. Just like the drive to eat is a healthy instinct, but nature hasn't quite caught up to the fact that we're stuffing ourselves with thrice the calories we need much of the time, just as it hasn't caught up with contraception. Does sex carry risks? Well yes, so does eating, see poisonous berries and eating raw meat.
@Slavanna "I have not down voted you just yet. Jumping to conclusions, aren't we?" Whatever my assumption was more fun. "All I'm saying is that sex is sex, and a so-called slut may very well be a sweet, caring person." That's irrelevant. Doing one bad thing would not necessarily make a person entirely bad. "Their having sex does not drastically change their personality." It can if sex becomes addictive as it has a tendency of doing. Also, no. Sex does change people's personality. You go from avoiding sex to indulging in it UNLESS you write it off as a mistake. "but nature hasn't quite caught up to the fact that we're stuffing ourselves with thrice the calories we need much of the time, just as it hasn't caught up with contraception." Thanks for making my point? "Does sex carry risks? Well yes, so does eating, see poisonous berries and eating raw meat." False equivalency. You HAVE to eat. You don't need to have promiscuous sex. The only necessary sex is for reproduction.
But you've just said that whether it was voluntary or not should play a part in whether a person can be labeled as virgin or not. So that would make it very fluid. How voluntary was the intercourse? Was one person coerced into it by the other? Were they sober? If you wanna take this into account, don't say that the definition of virginity is rigid. I mean, in your own definition it is noted that a virgin is "especially a person that hasn't had penis-vagina kind of intercourse". The word "especially" makes it darned complicated. So a guy who gave someone a blowjob once is only a "half-virgin", or is he a virgin because he hasn't put his dick into a vagina yet? Or is he not a virgin because he was sexual with someone else? Hell, if you ask 10 different people about it you'll get 10 different answers. That's why I said the definition of virginity is not entirely clear.
@Slavanna "But you've just said that whether it was voluntary or not should play a part" That's my own connotation. It isn't the technical definition. Rape-type situations are SUPPOSED to be anomalies... But today you wonder. "Hell, if you ask 10 different people about it you'll get 10 different answers." The masses have a tendency to be ignorant. If you took a survey of them you'd probably find a lack of knowledge on many subjects ESPECIALLY science and definitions. But I say again, technically the most clear definition involves male to female penile to vaginal insertion. Could it be argued otherwise? Sure, but would it be a good argument? From my perspective no. I suppose when I write my take it will focus more on promiscuity rather than virginity because rape... makes things very complicated. We need to recognize that males are wired to be aggressive sexually and people need to be careful along with preventive.
Hey. Hey. Hey. *Looks left and right* How about... we let people do what the hell they like with THEIR vagina or penis? OH NO SHE DIDN'T HAVE A CWAYE CWAYE THOUGHT LIKE THAT! Why can't we just respect that other people want to be virgins/or not, meat eaters/veggies, christians/jewish, etc etc. How about we let people make their own choice for their own reasons? If some people want to lose on experience but gain no STI's, then leave them to it and the other way around. What use is it dictating our own beliefs, rules and regulations on other people when we're perfectly capable of making all these big, grown up, adult decisions all by ourselves? We have no proof that one person is right over the other, but someone shouldn't be forced into doing something they don't believe in or want to do. I'll go back to the crazy corner now I've put that RADICAL idea out there...
@comdom I agree with you 100% keep spreading Truth! :)
@Hidden_P "How about... we let people do what the hell they like with THEIR vagina or penis?" Why don't we let people do what they want with THEIR hands like killing people or stealing? Why don't we let people use THEIR mouths for lying, slandering, threatening? So much dogma nowadays. "OH NO SHE DIDN'T HAVE A CWAYE CWAYE THOUGHT LIKE THAT!" I have no idea what this means. "We have no proof that one person is right over the other, but someone shouldn't be forced into doing something they don't believe in or want to do." You can't prove any kind of morality which I alluded to earlier. That's a pretty faulty argument as far as I can tell. I never suggested forcing anyone to do anything so I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm also not saying there shouldn't be sluts or whores, pardon the charged but technical terms. They serve a function. HOWEVER I don't think it's prudent for all people to be promiscuous.
@PeterPan11 thank you :) I just feel bad when people are bullied for not sleeping around.
So... under your argument that people should have no say in what they do, the next time you would like a haircut please consult me. After all it's YOUR hair. But who gets to decide what is right or wrong? No, there's mentally ill and there is freedom of being human. Where did I say that being a rapist or a murderer was okay? But you are trying to take it to the other extreme to battle an argument for virginity. I never said being a virgin was bad, I merely said you shouldn't try to say that someone's choice to "pop" theirs was wrong. It was their choice. Just like people have a choice to be a teacher, or a lawyer, or whatever as a career. Also, it was me in a stupid voice saying "oh no she didn't have a crazy thought like that did she". Sorry, I was trying to lighten the mood. I'll be stern faced and joke free from now on.
@Hidden_P "So... under your argument that people should have no say in what they do" I never said or knowingly implied that. Feel free to quote me. My point was two fold: first that people should take outside input into account and secondly that behavior is regulated socially and legally. "No, there's mentally ill and there is freedom of being human." I have no idea what you're trying to imply here. "you are trying to take it to the other extreme to battle an argument for virginity." I'm illustrating that your argument is null. Society as a whole decides its moral scope, it's arbitrary. "I merely said you shouldn't try to say that someone's choice to "pop" theirs was wrong." Why shouldn't I or anyone else? I have a voice and I think it could be wrong. What makes your opinion any more valid than ANYONE else's? If there is a God it could certainly be wrong. "Sorry, I was trying to lighten the mood." Feel free to. I was just confused.
So you feel bad when people are bullied for not sleeping around, but you have no problems bashing and bullying someone that has had sex? Nice.
@PeterPan11 definitely wasn't expecting that from this account. I'm God is proud of you and your judgmental attitude. Good jobbbb!
@PeterPan11 I wholeheartedly understand why people bash OUR religion so much. It's full of hateful, judgmental people that can get their heads out their own asses long enough to see straight.
@CHARismatic110 "but you have no problems bashing and bullying someone that has had sex" First off I didn't say that. Secondly, I'm iffy. I think people being promiscuous is probably not ideal behavior but I don't want people committing suicide over being bullied. Teasing/disapproval for sleeping around may be acceptable but only to a point. People (primarily girls) being physically attacked and relentlessly harassed over POSSIBLY being sluts is not okay in my book. I place great emphasis on "possibly" because apparently sometimes they aren't even having sex at all. It's all about balance.
@CHARismatic110 well of course but there is a distinction between person and behavior even outside of religion. A person can lie but not be a habitual liar. Ideally you hate the act and not the person. I also think it's odd that people think "judgement" is inherently bad. Who do you think runs a courtroom... a judge. We as a society decide what is right and wrong, religion can be and is a guideline.
Why do you keep equating having sex with being promiscuous? The two are not synonymous with each other. If you're against bullying then be against ALL bullying. I've been there, done that with bullying and I was suicidal for years. I refuse to let anyone bring me to that place again. Period.
@@CHARismatic110 "Why do you keep equating having sex with being promiscuous?" That is not my intent. Sex is not inherently wrong. It's about context. Do I think being promiscuous simply for pleasure is a good idea? No, especially not for females. I've read information in the past that said there can be psychological (and sometimes biological) detriment to people who do so. If bullying means: : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker. Then I agree. HOWEVER people can be and are too sensitive sometimes. Some people are offended simply because certain people are living. The problem with psychological trauma is that it can cause people to be very irrational. I think there need to be people who focus on order and truth above all else. I do sympathize though. I suppose I could sum up like this: in general virginity is ideal but the less promiscuous the better. Virginity is certainly not the end all be all due to rape which SHOULD be an anomaly.
@CHARismatic110 whoops I responded above^
Ok well like I said, I'm FARRRR from promiscuous. That's what I want you to understand. And I'm not promoting promiscuity.
2 partners in 7 years? LOL. Not bad at all @Asker. I'm not even going to tell you how many I have had just this year alone. And I don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks either. I live my life the way I want to. No regrets.
@takeowner you didn't expect me to stand with the Bible? I am not trying to be judgmental. I don't hare the people who sin at all, but I can still state the truth that sin is sin. That doesn't make you any worse of a person than I am just because you have a committed a sin I haven't. And it doesn't make me any worse of person than you are because I will call sin what it is. I'm not saying anyone who isn't a virgin should or will go to Hell, but I am saying that calling sin what it IS and pointing out the Truth is right. Saying sin is okay is not right. (This is Tinkerbell)
@Kris85 and that's all that matters. IT'S YOUR LIFE! People on here don't get the concept of minding their own damn business!
@CHARismatic110 I'm not here to change your views. I'm just here to bring the other side. I'm completely okay with people believing what they want to believe UNTIL they start bullying and indoctrinating. @Kris85 I have a dilemma because you didn't directly address me yet you responded to her on my post. In either case I can say generally: the world uses sluts and whores because there is a demand for them, political correctness just seems like a time-waster to me. But as far as encouraging ALL people to act that way... I'm going to pass. I'm going to advocate for the other side. @CHARismatic110 mind our own business? She just said it in a public forum. I'm not invading her privacy, she said it outright. If people are sleeping around, adulterous, etc. I think society is entitled to have their opinions.
@PeterPan11 I'm so glad that I'm comfortable in my faith and my relationship with God. Because if I wasn't, I'd be questioning if I wanted to be associated with people that act like that. I'm well aware that premarital sex is a sin. I'm also well aware that no sin outweighs a sin. I'm also aware that you are not sin free. I stand firm in what I said. I'm not a bad person because I had sex. Idc what you or anyone else has to say about it.
IM NOT ENCOURAGING ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR TO STOP JUDGING AND RIDICULING PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY'VE MADE A DIFFERENT CHOICE THAN YOURS. If you want to advocate then go write your own Take and do it there. I'm sick of you sitting up here insulting me and everyone else that has a different view. You see everyone that has sex before marriage as promiscuous? Fine. I don't. Agree to disagree and LEAVE IT AT THAT.
@CHARismatic110 "I'm sick of you sitting up here insulting me and everyone else that has a different view." My intention is not to insult you necessarily. I apologize you read into it that way. It's unfortunate. "If you want to advocate then go write your own Take and do it there." I intend to shortly. It appears this conversation has reached its natural conclusion. But to be fair you could have blocked opinions on your post if you didn't want them. Unless you only wanted people to agree with you?
I allowed the comments for a reason. I don't mind people that disagree. You can do so without being rude and insulting.
@takeowner (this is Tinkerbell) you are absolutely right, it doesn't make you a bad person because you have had premarital sex. You were a sinful person before that. I don't mean that in a mean way, we are all sinful people so that one act didn't alter that. But I am looking at this from a biblical perspective where God (who you claim to believe in) says it is NOT okay. I'm not saying you're a horrible person or anything. And sure in the world's eyes, maybe not being a virgin is okay. But in God's view it isn't okay. And it shouldn't surprise you that as a Christian, I am sticking with what the Bible says instead if what is popular to say. Also, you don't know me at all. I am not judgmental of people who make mistakes (or sin gladly) because I understand that everyone is human and does things wrong. I hate the sin and not the person. So your comments of "being associated with people that act like that" are pretty uncalled for.
@PeterPan11 lol so now it's "who I claim to believe in" huh? You can question my beliefs all you want. I'm well aware of what the Bible says. I know all about hating the sin and not the person. You keep saying things and preluding them with "I'm not trying to be mean" but realize that you're coming off as really rude and judgmental. My point in writing this Take is to let people know that they need to feel like shit for a decision that they've made. So I've had sex before and you haven't. It doesn't define me. Or anyone else. I'm not promoting anything negative.
@CHARismatic110 "I allowed the comments for a reason. I don't mind people that disagree. You can do so without being rude and insulting." I understand that but technically I'm not necessarily doing either. Isn't it just as possible you misunderstand my intent? Or that you're being too sensitive? It appears you are upset though so I will conclude our discussion. Thank you for participating. Rude: : not having or showing concern or respect for the rights and feelings of other people Insultive: : to do or say something that shows a lack of respect for (someone)
@takeowner (this is Tinkerbell) I'm just saying that you claim to have such a strong relationship with God but you are profiting the fact that something that breaks God's heart is totally okay. You are right that it doesn't define you or anyone else. I agree with that statement more than anything else you've said
@PeterPan11 no, I'm saying that being human is totally ok. Like I said, I'm not promoting anything bad. People are going to have sex regardless of what I say.
Why is this such a big thing to argue about? I would like to get to other peoples opinions some day please. Just cause I can: There is nothing wrong with staying a virgin, there is nothing wrong with having sex. Let's leave it at that, no further. We all have our own opinions but this is the internet, nobody is going to change anyone's mind.
I'd just like to add that apart from procreation, sex serves the purposes of bonding, pleasure, exercise, massage, etc.
@muspelhem_5 "I'd just like to add that apart from procreation, sex serves the purposes of bonding, pleasure, exercise, massage, etc." Massage? I have no idea what you're talking about. Bonding, Exercise and Pleasure? Those aren't necessarily good things if it isn't a committed relationship and it can have psychological repercussions. Also you can get those same things by playing a sport with substantially less risk.
I guess. Who needs sex anyway, when you can engage in endless debates over minutiae, right?
@muspelhem_5 Not everyone sees the physical and mental risks associated with promiscuity as minutia, especially for females. I mean if I were desperate to get laid I would probably spend less time discussing things like this. But keep in mind that you brought it up first and I'm polite enough to respond.
Fair point.
Even if it was involuntary, that person technically a physical virgin, but a virgin in other aspects, like mentally & emotionally.
@PeterPan11 LOL. Religion hahahahaha.
And holy shit, you sound like you have an extremely boring life.
Preeeeeeeaaaaaaach
Lol thanks for reading!
I dont even care if she's a virgin or not as long as my dick dosnt turn like this after a week
upload.wikimedia.org/.../Pickle.jpg
Thanks for reading lol.
This is pretty interesting and yeah, no one should be judgmental like that. It's surprising that the non-virgins would get judged on here, since usually it's the virgins who are ridiculed by society.
There are people that say rude stuff about virgins here but I honestly see it more from the virgins.
Wow, this is such an endless topic. People judge others because they are not virgins and they also get judged for judging them so.. I don’t think there is a solution for that. I believe this whole virgin thing is overmistified, take my example. I lost my virginity at the age of 21 to a girl who was virgin as well. We used a condom, only had sex once and a few days later we broke up (unrelated). A few months later I had sex with a girl at a friend’s party unprotected. So when did I really lose my virginity? Did I lose it with the first girl on a theoretical basis, or did I lose it with the second girl? Similar with women: if a virgin girl breaks her hymen with a sex toy, does she still count as a virgin? I have dated a girl who wanted to wait with sex until the marriage and it just didn’t work out. Bluntly put, why would I want to commit to someone without a sample of good quality? Why am I a bad person for wanting to experience pleasure with the girl I love? These people want to ensure they choose the right husband material yet they create a huge source of frustration by suppressing their and their boyfriends’ needs. Not a good start for a marriage if you ask me. The other end of the spectrum is girls and guys having sex in their (sometimes early) teens, but I think it’s normal with all the raging hormones around, and it is very important to educate them about safe sex. These teens are constantly bombarded by the image of the ideal sexy teen, they see it in articles all around the Internet. How to dress sexy, how to attract guys, how to be the man every girl wants. These sites state that if you want to be popular you have to look good and you have to be available. They sell sex. The less inhibitions a teen has, the more trendy clothes he/she will buy. Pure business. Is it bad that they want to experiment? No. Is it bad that they are doing it for all the wrong reasons? Hell yeah!
A well educated teen will probably make the right choices and it’s also the parents’ responsibility to give them the right values. Never forbid them the possibility of sex before a chosen date, just teach them to think before they act. You wanted to know why GaG users judge non-virgins more than other people on other platforms. Many of them are virgins themselves and they think that only a virgin girl/guy deserves their virginity, they compare personality to sexual status. Some go as far as stating that girls who are not virgins in their teens are sluts who sleep with everything with a penis. It is mainly spread by people who are jealous of those who have a relationship while they can't even get a date. Many people want a virgin girl/guy to teach them and dominate them sexually. As I mentioned before some of them want to wait until wedding (risking the possibility of a terrible sex life). Some just want a girl who is "untouched", they are grossed out by the thought of other man being there first.
Thank you for reading. Nicely said. All valid points. At the end of the day everyone is different. And not everyone will make the same choice. And that's ok. There is no right or wrong choice.
Wish I wasn't, too bad for quiet shy and socially awkward people that no girl wants to know or get with... maybe they think a person with these qualities is cute or attractive from afar, but they would never do anything real about it.
And there is no judging non virgins on my end, lucky bastards I'll tell you. Even just to get it out of the way and not do it again, just to let go of he social stigma of sex all would be nice
Thanks for reading. I agree that there's so much pressure surrounding virginity. Like too much. Sex isn't all its cracked to be.
It goes both ways.
Sometimes when people learn others are virgins they automatically assume that the person is somehow "prudish" and looks down on others.
& I wouldn't say that "most" of us think we're better.
Nice take though.
Thanks for reading. And I should've said most that I've come across. And I agree. Virgins do get stereotyped as well. Which I don't approve of either. I just haven't seen much of it on here for myself.
I don't judge either. To me, personally. Virginity means nothing.
Like.. I don't care who I lose 'it' to. Doesn't have to be some special girl.
Anyone I find attractive, as long as they feel the same way, that's great.
It's just the question of it and when I lose it.
Thanks for reading. And that's your choice to make.
You're welcome and thanks!
No problem.
Thanks for writing this, I just think the whole virginity debate is pathetic and meaningless.
Think about it , you don't see pensioners and middle aged people complaining, oh i never had sex before...
It does not equate to social worth or ranking, those idiots that lost it at 15 were probably drunk, delusional and didn't even know what they were doing.
Most adults have sex in a relationshipand lose it at 18 and obviously to have sex you need to have a adult mindset.
If your're still a virgin at 21, you need to grow up and mature first.
It's not great your first time and people should not put it on a pedestal.
Sex is sex, I bet when you reach 55, your'll be sitting there drinking your coffee in your chair with your wife and grandchildren...
and say "really. did i mean about not having sex"
that is really stupid when ayour surrounded by the fruits of your lost "virginity"
Thank you for reading. If you want to wait then fine. I don't see any problems with still being a virgin at 21 or even 31. Everybody's different. My point is that people shouldn't be judged based off their decision to wait or not wait.
No i'm not saying i'm a virgin, you see many people think i am a virgin. I dont' give a fuck, they can think what they want... I'm saying people should give less fucks what other people think... if you are a virgin, that is one's choice and you shouldn't care what others think.
You probably think i am one, many girls think that too. But it's in the eye of the beholder. I know i lost it so what do i care, too many guys do this. like look at that elliot rodger wannabe virgin lover guy, it wanted sex with a girl. but i told him i have same problems as him but i still managed to lose it at 18, i look at him and think he is really patheitc, because if he really wanted to lose it, he would have seen a prostiute like me
I wasn't insinuating that you were or weren't a virgin. I was just restating my point. I agree that people shouldn't care either way tho.
If you aren't a religious person, then sex before marriage is not that important. And of course it doesn't make a person any less, but it is not God's plan A.
Thanks for reading. And I am a religious person. But I am also a human. I stumble and fall just like the next person. I'm just thankful that God doesn't judge me for every mistake I've made. And me not being a virgin doesn't make me any less of a Christian than anyone else.
@Take Owner, she blocked me so I can't respond to her post thus can't respond to your question. I am not sure where I said that I am holier than anyone else? I am not judging. I simply asked as a Christian is that God's plan A? Also judging is not always used in a negative tone. judging is simply forming an opinion or conclusion about someone.
You didn't have to say it. I'm sure she's well aware of what God's plan is. As I'm sure that you're well aware that everything doesn't always go according to plan.
judging in the context of being judgmental*
I think a more appropriate focus would be boundaries. Listen to your heart, mind and body when it comes to sex. Every time, not just the first.
Thanks for reading. Very valid point.
Tbh I skimmed. But it seemed sensible and pragmatic :)
Lol well it definitely is relevant to my point.
I meant your Take seemed sensible and pragmatic :) But glad to hear it. Guess I struck lucky.
Ohh, well thank you! And I guess you did :)
Not all virgins are waiting for marriage though? Harley any of them are. I don't know anyone at all who is saving sex for marriage! I'm waiting till I believe I can physically hand the pain which I think will be when I turn 17 in August this year, I'm currently 16.
Whatever decision you make, just make sure that you're 100% ready.
The average person nowadays loses their virginity at around 14-16. In the web it may say 17 for women and 21 for guys, but then again, everything is getting younger nowadays; I blame the media for that, but mostly curiosity. There's nothing wrong with losing your virginity before marriage and I think that people who wait until they are marriage are either too religious or have a really strict traditional parents. But either way, that experience is entirely up to you; if you want to lose it to some idiot, a friend, or someone special. I'll say, I'm a virgin for life because I look the part; I can always pull that off saying that I am a virgin even though of course that is a lie. People do judge you whether you are a virgin or not; it does't matter the gender because both does it and they shouldn't be. As I have said, that experience is entirely up to them to choose when they want to lose it, and to whom they want to lose it to. No one should tell you otherwise.
Thanks for reading. People do judge based of your status which doesn't make sense. A guy/girl could be totally into someone and once they find out about that person's past and their sexual history, it suddenly changes. Now I see why some people don't like to even talk about it.