Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
1. Stop whining about it
Do you want to know how other people know you're a virgin? Because you keep talking about it and whining incessantly about it and complaining about your status online to anyone who will listen. No one can look at you and know you're a virgin even if you stood their perfectly naked. Virgin status is like 0.0003% of your daily life. I'm not saying sex doesn't have value, but in terms of all the parts of you that make you, you and what other people see in you---this isn't exactly top tier. So take a f'in chill pill and relax about STILLLLLLLL being a virgin. It'll happen when it happens, and when it does, don't expect a parade because most people, you'll find on the other side, don't care. They are worried about themselves, not whether or not you're still a virgin.
2. Learn to pleasure yourself
While you wait, you might as well have some fun. Learning NOW what you like and what feels good, can potentially help you on down the road when it comes to doing the deed. Whether you do this with your good old hands or you buy a few fun toys to explore, do take the time to explore and have fun. Bonus, masturbation is known to be a big reliever of stress, so have at it.
3. Get a hobby
Seriously, if your days and nights as positively consumed with thoughts of your virginity, get a hobby, go on a vacation, find other ways to fulfill the hours in your day. Virginity isn't everything. Losing your virginity is just one part of so many other parts of your life.
4. Go meet people
In order to have sex, you do have to go out there and constantly meet people who might potentially want to have sex with you. If you stay by yourself, you don't actively go out, you don't try and approach anyone, you don't hang out where other people in your age range hang out, you are dramatically lessening the chance that you will ever have enough contact with someone who may potentially want to have sex with you. They aren't going to find you sitting at home alone watching Netflix. You do need to go out into the world and try and meet new people.
5. Be safe and ready
Just because you aren't yet having sex doesn't mean you shouldn't be prepared for it. Get your birth control worked out, make sure your bedroom is stocked with some non expired condoms and lube, make sure you've gotten a good clean bill of health from your doc, buy some decent sheets, and never have sex with someone who's status you don't know even if they claim to be a virgin. Better safe than sorry.
6. Set your expectations on reality
First times usually aren't the magical legends and fantasies that porn, the karma sutra, movies, and tv make them out to be. They are usually awkward because one or both of you have never done it before. If you are feeling pressured or rushed into having sex and you aren't really sure the other person actually cares anything about you, knows your name, or is putting you in an uncomfortable position, have it in your mind that you can say no, or stop, or decline before or during your first time or any time thereafter. You are the master of your body and if things aren't cool with you, stop immediately.
What Girls & Guys Said
12 29I'm asexual
You're a dog.
I'll make you sexual :)
@Jamesbound Thank you
Such kind people here!!
@Tomblebee thanks ;)
I will never have sex
And how do you feel about that
fine, I guess
Why?
Yeah why?
I am asexual
I heard on the radio someone thought they were asexual, because they never felt attracted to anyone but then they met the love of their life who is their husband. Not saying that that is you, but just a thought...
@Revolver_ you don't need it bro, it's nothing unique or special about it. it's just there as a means to an end so we don't completely die out as a species. there are other things in the world that could bring you fun, joy and meaning, you don't have to nor need to have sex to live and enjoy your life. Although you seem young now, if you never get those sexual cravings and desires then you're lucky as fuck bro. My buddy here @Unit1 he's like drowning in those desires since he can't get out of them, it's like being stuck in quicksand for him. It makes him miserable because he really wants a relationship with frequent sex, but then he's not able to and it's not his fault because his situation and circumstances in life makes it very difficult to virtually impossible for him to even have a snowball's chance in hell to ever come close to getting what he wants to relieve those cravings and desires that's causing him great miseries and suffering.
@JudgmentDay Thanks for the mention. To be more precise what you described is for the most part true. However I keep standing on these regards. Porn helps me a great deal and is like the last string holding it all together before everything collapses. However porn has only brought me so far. Since we are naturally alive and sexual beings as well as social beings (and many of us naturally crave the intimacy and romance of the opposite sex) it is a very difficult task to harden. So all in all a relationship is not critical to me (since they're not guaranteed to last anyway + 99% of all women want marriage and most of them want kids) but it is a pretty important aspect for me to at least experience and a keypart for higher happiness.
@JudgmentDay Hahaha lol. Snowballs chance in hell - never heard that before, i like it.
Hey, if you're asexual, you are. All I can say about that is allow yourself opportunities to get close to people any way. As to @Unit1, I don't think a good relationship is unattainable for you, if you have a desire to be open and learn. But it's up to you. I would say, you're both young. Your feelings about the state of affairs in your own lives is entirely valid. I don't want it to sound like I am invalidating that, but I am willing to bet you are not going to feel like this forever. I have hope where maybe you guys are not feeling it right now.
I understand, thank you
@MlleCake i try to cheer up. My buddy judgmentday however is a lot older than his age displays. Anyway i don't give up finding love. It's just much more difficult when every woman i met wants marriage and children in this economically crippled world. I'd use yeschildfree. com (yes childfree) as an online dating Service but there are so few members and none of them are in the country where i currently reside in (the east). And i don't believe in long distance relationships. :/
@Unit1 Do you think it might be possible you will change your mind about wanting kids when you are more mature and established? Honestly, if you and I discussed it - what your values are, I can help teach you how to talk about it in a way that is less freaky to women.
@MlleCake No kids for me for sure. I can barely survive on my own (actually I do live alone) and I had 0 support in most aspects in my life, so I'm entirely on my own with the money. I have my reasons for not wanting kids. @menina is also someone, who doesn't want kids. If she'd be close nearby, I'd have her on my dating radar.
@Unit1 So this is how you say it. "I feel strongly that children need to come into a world where they are loved and wanted, and there are a lot of reasons I don't think I am the best person to have children. I'm young. It may be too early to say, but I don't think I will change my mind. But I'm too young to have kids now any way, so can we just not worry about it for now?" I know that wording is a little dry, but if you get those basic concepts across to a woman, you'll have fewer problems.
@MlleCake This sounds really good for starters but at the moment nobody is expecting kids in our 20s. When the 30s come I am not going to be able to pull that "i am young" move out :/ Since children need to come into a world where they are loved and wanted and safe and since I did not have these in my childhood I am not going to repeat the same mistake.
@Unit1 Worry about 30 when you hit 30. You're not going to date your forever partner for the next several years any way.
@Unit1 That's true. And I'm glad to hear that you would date me if I we were in the same country. :) Thanks for the mention!
@menina I kinda wish you and @Unit1 would get to together some day. You both have my support. Perhaps you can meet each other online via Skype or something sometime.
@JudgmentDay i appreciate your wishes. And don't worry. We stay safe and childfree in this materialistic world. I'd gladly meet her. If it only was not for the long distance. :/
asexuals exist. fun how people can't fathom it and try to push the whole "what if" on you... .
also funny how the 45 year old broad try to brainwash you guys into marriage. this conditioning and pressure against men in society is laughable, or better tragic. "don't worry, you will provide too to a woman one day. talk to me, i'll make you normal". i never talked a man into marriage, even my own husband. he pushed it.
@JudgmentDay Thank you! I appreciate your support. I would like to meet him, but the distance doesn't help us. :( Maybe we will meet when he comes back to Europe.
@menina i am looking forward to return to my beloved Europe.
I never felt like virginity was a problem.
good take
I rushed into having sex and I don't regret it losing my virginity at 24, even for an ugly mfer like me lol
I agree. People do overhype losing your virginity and sex in general. Don’t get me wrong, sex is fun and it feels great but some people make it seem like they’ll die if they don’t have it which is silly.
It’s like you survived up until you lost virginity. I didn’t feel any different after I lost mine at 21 and no one noticed any differences.
That being said some people, were very cruel to me about being a Virgin, even women. They would get arrogant and condescending about it and act like I was a 40 year old virgin at just age 21. and say with a condescending tone, “have you ever been with a girl?” Just based on the way I kissed.
It’s no big deal and I’ve come a long way since then in terms of experience, but the bottom line is you need to be happy with yourself first. Dating and sex won’t make you happier if you’re not happy with yourself in the first place.
I think a lot of virgins are under the illusion that unicorns and rainbows will shoot across the sky after they lose their virginity, and it's like, yeah, sex is pleasurable for most, but your life doesn't dramatically change after it happens (well, unless you get pregnant or get someone pregnant, natch). I liken it a lot to people who lose a bunch of weight and think that will solve all their life's problems, they'll be happier, richer, skinnier, get married... and it's like you said... if you aren't in a good place now, after it happens, life doesn't change with the snap of the fingers.
Yeah that’s a great analogy but you also have to consider other factors as well, for example the Virgin shaming as well as the fat shaming as well as other things. For example, there’s that whole BS stigma of “you’re not a man until you get a woman/get laid” which is dumb because that only causes some guys to solely focus on it which is counterproductive because that makes them less confident and needy/desperate. Whereas pressuring people to lose weight to look good might make some, not all, go bulimic or become anorexic which is not healthy. Or when people say, if you don’t lose your virginity soon, you’ll be a Virgin for life and shit like that. Like it’s just negative reinforcement/encouragement when people do that.
That being said, from all my hardships in dating, what I’ve learned is to always focus on yourself. Sure you can put yourself out there and date and have fun but never focus on the end result whether it’s getting laid or having a relationship. Like you said, it’ll happen when it happens. Stressing and worrying about it only makes it worse as tough as dating may be.
Good MyTake
People place way too much emphasis on losing virginity. When it happens, it happens. It doesn't make you less of a person or less desirable just because you haven't had an opportunity to have sex yet.
when did virginity become from a divine virtue a thing you have to survive thorugh? oh i know when, when people lost connection with God. virginity as a secular must be unbareable i guess.
There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. We should be happy that we're not letting random people/ idiots use our bodies for their pleasure.
Question I think I am a virgin though I had sex at 9 years old. Is second time awkward like first time?
It's a shame that nowadays girls are so hard-set on finding their first sexual experience. There's plenty of guys out there abstaining till marriage and when both parties do so, that first experience becomes all the more special between the two.
Never mind the fact that it has pretty much been proven that the more sexual partners a woman has, the more likely she is to have a marriage which fails when she's older. It's a pity we have such a society which glorifies sex so much.
Does that hve anything to do with religion as well or do unreligious people still do that?
@Tomblebee Quite often, yes it does have something to do with religion, though there are quite a few who don't for other reasons. Some to focus on education and work, others for the whole 'special first experience' thing.
Good stuff
"It'll happen when it happens"
Utter gibberish. This is not "Setting your expectations on reality." I've never known a guy not to put effort into making it happen.
It will literally happen when it happens. That isn't a trick statement. Further on, in the list, if you even read that far, you read, you have to go out and meet people instead of staying alone by yourself in order to increase your odds. But for most virgins, you can't wake up on a Monday and declare you're going to have sex and boom, it happens automatically because you said so especially if you've made no efforts to see or talk to another human being in months.
I think it saying it happens with it happens has implications of going on autopilot and expecting it to happen -- a viable approach for many girls. But if you're going to mean it literally and also tell *everyone* that they should go out and meet/approach people then that's fair enough.
I am just wondering if this was written by someone who is not a virgin tho.
I'm virgin and I don't think a lot about it, I'm busy in more important things
Great take !!
Virginity is not a problem, but the lack of sex is, for adult people. It's hard to deal with all these hormones, when masturbation does not give satisfaction.
Female virginity is not a problem, however I feel like it is for me since i'm a male 18 year old virgin
@SportsFan78 But why is it more of a problem for you? I don't get it?
@SportsFan78 you are only 18, in some countries that's barely the age of consent.
I’m just saying that because I’m a guy in America I feel like it would be a turn off for most girls
You know what's fucked up? Masturbation actually feels WAYYYYYYYY better to me than real sex.
@winterfox10 Now, that is fucked up. At least you wouldn't be tempted to have a relationship just for the sex though right.. :)
@Tomblebee I mean... I GUESS?
take my virginity
Good Take. I don't know why people make such a big deal about being a virgin.