The guy I am dating just dropped a bomb on me, what should I do with this information?

[Anonymous]

Guy I am seeing who is sweet, funny, considerate, is able to self reflect, down to earth, honest, sincere and easy to talk with just and working two jobs and having a nice place revealed a lot of things to me and I am in shock and a lot of things happend the last time we were out together:

- He told me he cheated on his partner when he was 18-19 with a random lady in a train.

- He told me when he and his second partner had a child together he would dissapear for the weekend, going out, drinking, smoking and using her credit card and all the money in it.

- I realised he smokes weed on a weekly basis, not daily though.

- He doesn’t drink, but I wonder if it is because he used to drink a little bit much.

- He told me he once considered doing porn.

- His child doesn’t ever sleep at his place, he is there for them but I wonder how much and why not more than he is.

- And the last time we were together we had a night out. He told some girl if he were single he would have sex with her. And i think he makes too many sex/pervert jokes at times.

He is cool and everything, and people change. But I feel like this is just too much and too big of a risk to take. Maybe it is cool when we are just chilling, dating, but in a comitted relationship I don’t think so.

[MrOracle]

Are you a collector of red flags? If so, great - you've hit the jackpot with him.

If not, than any one of these would be enough to justify extreme caution, but this isn't one flag - it's a Chinese parade.

If you were shopping for a used car that was only a bit less expensive than a new one, would you consider buying a car that had dents and paint problems on every single body panel, worn-out tires, cracked windows, bumper damage, and rust? I would hope you'd be smart enough to see all of that and RUN away.

If your best friend was dating a guy with these issues, what advice would you give her?

[Losalt]

He's being honest and communicating with you.
That's the most important part in my book.

I do suggest taking it a bit slower given what he's telling you.
And you might want to discuss this further in the future.
Don't make him feel bad about telling you this kind of stuff, but try to understand it and him.
And figure out what you feel comfortable with yourself.
And talk with him about that.

[Xhuy_006]

He actually wants it to work with you. He doesn't feel comfortable hiding things and wants you to see him for who he is. He understands he can't be in a committed relationship with those secrets. So he'd rather you end it if you're not okay with working these out with him. He'd rather break it off then hurt you in the end, but then again he left that up to you if ya wanna work on it

[Xhuy_006]

But that's just my opinion

[genericname85]

Sounds like a hard nope to me. I'd be out of this relationship.

[StrawberryShake]

F*** no.

[DiegoO]

If you ask me, he's giving out too many red flags, he may not consider that alarming. You already hear things that have you in doubt. Ask yourself if you can trust him. Do it with all honesty, do not mingle the answers with your feelings towards him.

[Guardian45]

Methinks something stinks in Denmark!

[rebeliouse]

if its just casual then up to you. you run the risk of sti if he goes off fucking elsewhere.

but if i was you id prob dump him there plenty other guys out there and its not going to amount to anything with this guy

[Anonymous]

If this guy was average, this question wouldn't even exist... he'd already be blocked, deleted, and forgotten.

[Asker]

Average in what way

[Opinion Owner]

Looks, attitude, attractiveness.