Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I've come across plenty of people who are avidly against this rule. They believe it's unfair to men, that it's another type of "female manipulation", that it's some evil Feminist agenda to allow women more power over men while celebrating women who sleep with many men with seemingly no rules against them: all untrue.
It is most definitely a woman's choice (as well as her partner) to decide when they're comfortable and ready to sleep with someone. For some, you don't even have to know the person. You get to know them during sex. For others, it's from the first date and on and others take a few dates. There are different "time frames" that many people want sex. Yet the rule is NOT about limiting sex. Sex is still (more than likely) going to happen in the relationship.
1) The rule is set in place for women to weed out any men who are not interested in a serious relationship. It's for protection.
If a woman were to go out on a first date with a guy, she has no idea what his true agenda is. He can certainly portray himself as an amazing guy (just like many people portray themselves as ideal candidates for job interviews), but a few conversations over the phone or online doesn't reveal as much information as face to face interaction. Even with the latter, multiple conversations need to be had to truly get to know the person and their mannerisms.
So on this first date, this man can only be looking to "hit it and quit", for a serious relationship, a quick fling, simply to cheat on his emotionally unavailable woman that he isn't going to bring up yet and many more reasons. Due to the fact that the woman simply does not know what this guy is looking for no matter what he states (unless if he explicity tells her he wants a bang or he isn't looking for something serious which should lead to the thought that he simply wants to have someone for a booty call/friends with benefits), it's in her benefit to ensure that the man that she's currently "talking" with is someone who just doesn't want to use her.
2) Men who are looking for sex aren't more than likely going to stay around for 3 months when they can find women who will give it up sooner.
Depending on where the man is, there is CraigsList, brothels, hook-up sites, backroom sex shops, parties, and other places where this man can seek sex. But some men enjoy manipulating women: making her think that he's really interested in her, bedding her at the first chance, and then promptly ignoring her calls/texts due to the fact that he got what he wanted and is now looking for another award to add to his collection.
There are guys who will stay around for a month and, without her knowing, still get some on the side. And yes, this rule does not weed out EVERY manipulative scum out there. But if she's noticing the man's demeanor change after a few weeks of seeing each other without being exclusive (going from sweet and attentive to asking about when they will have sex or distant and rude), he's more than likely prioritizing sex over any potential relationship. That's something that many women do not want. .
3) The rule manipulates no one!
A woman makes the choice of how long she wants to wait before sleeping with a man just as a man does. No one is telling men to stick around if he does not agree with how long she wants to wait. If having sex within his "time frame" is important for him and he's not going to able/wanting to wait any longer, then his best bet is to put that on his profile if he's utilizing online dating or tell the woman on the first date to get it out of the way.
Many women will be put off with the fact that sex is being brought up on the first date and just as many don't care/understand/agree. But this protects the man from having to waste his time and the woman as well.
Both people have the same power in this scenario. If 3 months is TOO long for him and he's not willing to wait, bid adieu and find another woman. If he feels any doubt about the woman after she acquiesces to what he wants (meaning both parties agree to the terms), I would personally not wait until after the time has lapsed. There are billions of women out there.
That does not mean "pressure" the woman into a "Yes" or give an ultimatum and leave in a frustrated grunt if she backs on her word. That man's disrespectful actions was his own let down and I don't feel sorry for you. It means that he tells her what he's looking for in a relationship as soon as possible (which is usually a topic of discussion on the first date). It's about respect.
Every woman who follows this rule should understand that not ALL men are willing to wait for her and that does NOT make him scum (like the aforementioned) or a whore. He may simply not want to wait...and that's okay.
4) Some good men will be "weeded" out, but there is no way to help this situation.
Just as many manipulative guys will not wait this long, some good (subjective and is determined/based off of the individual female's opinion) men will not wait either. There are many reasons for this (he feels that copulation is another way for the two individuals to get to know each other, it helps him weed out women who do not have sex and yet use men for their money/dates, he's one of those men who believes that you have no idea what may happen tomorrow so you must seize the day). It unfortunately happens this way, but it does not make these men any less "good" than the men who are willing to wait because they don't like feeling objectified/agree with the woman/[insert another rational reason].
5) Just because a woman has slept with +500 men does NOT mean that she can not use this rule.
There are women who have many partners and again, it can be for many reasons. They may have liked sleeping around in the past or they might have slept with guys on the first date, only to continuously get scum who ditch them due to getting what they want or simply because the guys didn't respect her for giving it up soon.
That does not mean that the guys in the past were "worth it" more than the man she is talking to now because she opened her legs sooner than what her current man might like. What it means is that, again, she is searching for a true relationship/changing her tactics to ensure she gets a "good" man and it's her choice for when she will be giving a man access to it (just like it's a man's choice to walk away if he doesn't agree).
A woman can follow this rule and quit at the second month to find that the man she is with is the one she wants. This absolutely happens. This isn't mean to give "hope" to either party. This rule can also NOT work for the woman (she can't wait so long for sex or she still gets horrible guys who are that way for many reasons--one being that they may erroneously believe that she "strung" them along to get what she wanted and others).
6) Many women DO NOT follow this rule...and it works for them. Good on them!
Absolutely. I believe it's every woman's choice (since it IS her body) to determine when she wants to have sex. It does not matter to me how long she waits, as long as she's not hurt or manipulated in any way. This is why I encourage this rule, but still respect a woman's decision to put out when she decides.
I just want all of my fellow Sisters to be safe and happy. You should have sex whenever you're comfortable whether that's in just meeting a man or 5 years down the road. But a man's response will vary for every situation and is determined by that individual man. They're not a group consensus (no matter how some people may portray that).
That's it for this myTake. Have fun and be happy! ^_^
What Girls & Guys Said
9 37If you can't stay in a relationship for 3 months in order to have sex with a woman, which shouldn't be your main goal anyways, you're a weak man.
Lol. Don't say that. I understand a lot of the reasons that are given... I just don't think any of them are good. They all lead back to "The woman should have sex sooner because I want it"... which translates as selfish. Or the man wants sex before a relationship which is what the rule helps women weed out.
❤💙💙💙 can I marry you?😂😂
Thank God. I was beginning to get discouraged from all of the comments. 3 months really isn't that long in getting to know someone, it goes by pretty quickly tbh.
AMEN
I am not sure. The only reason I would do this would be because I am extremely nervous of failing in the sex department and I don't trust him!
Tl;dr because it was too damn long
I only skimmed through the answers, but didn't come across most of what I'm about to say
the idea of having an arbitrary number for something like sex is retarded. There are some things that can be that way, but sex isn't 1 of them; mainly for the fact that some dudes may wait simply to get pussy. Or if you ain't putting out, they might have another chick lined up already. Why wait not not compromise even maybe 1 month in just because you stick by that rule. Isn't a relationship supposed to be about compromise? To me, saying 3 months is like saying I'm gonna leave a cake in the oven no shorter than 30 minutes even when you see that it's burnt black after 15. If y'all are ready, y'all are ready.
Going back a bit, I respect the decision not to have sex. However, if we are in a relationship, I'd like to be at least felt like I'm appreciated. I can't tell you how much I hate putting up with bullshit like this where we both would like the same thing, but your reasoning. Behind it is only due to the fact some old wives tale said so
Both of those reasons get me kinda mad at the situation because there's no moral reason behind it. You don't actually believe in something beyond someone telling you to do it. It's not used for protection. If they like you, they like you. If they don't, they don't. You're just as likely, or even more likely to lose a man because you don't follow your own set of morals. It's basically just a tool to see how much billshit the guy you like is willing to put up for you
I mean I know long term relationships from 2 people who didn't have sex completely and 1 cheated on the other.
I had 1 more point, but it escapes me. And for the record, I don't want to have sec before marriage. Not that it's morally wrong, but I don't think I can morally do it and don't wanna have any "surprises"
I'm not an expert on relationships, but if you want the relationship to last, it should happen organically and communicate well. But most importantly, the 2 have to be compatible to begin with. Most of the times relationships seem to fail is because people go for the hottest piece they can get and don't know shit beyond that and try to make shit work because they think either the other will change or just overlook their differences completely. I've seen it way too much. That's why I don't get the don't date your friends thing. At least you know what you're getting.
But that's all I gotta say. Feel free to comment 👌
Also to note, when i say "you", it's plural... I keep doing that and everyone thinks it's personal when it's not
the thing if she has giving up faster than three months in the past but makes me wait that long. id dump her on principle.
people change enjoy your principal..
Yet chad thundercock got that booty in 3hrs.
i2.kym-cdn.com/.../ac7.jpg
I liked how well rounded and accepting your take was. Good job.
I have read this and some of your replies down the page and I will start off by saying only an idiot has to reward their partner with sex, you mentioned that at the end of your reply to Bysshe, sex is not a reward, its part of a healthy relationship.
If you have insecurities and take 3 months before you will even engage in foreplay then you might need to reevaluate your look on relationships, I would say you need to anyway if you really think sex is a reward.
P. S show them to me!
You wrote this didn't you
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1833862-why-do-women-use-sex-as-a-reward-rather-than-something-both-parties
And I will reply that you're an uncomprehending fool. I never said that sex was a reward. There is a guy on here who states that players will still be "rewarded" in the end and I told him that they are weeded out and the guys that the women are comfortable with and choose are "rewarded" with their relationship and sex. This is a very common happenstance. You clearly didn't read or have a severe deficiency.
Go down 4 replies and at the bottom of your post you ended it with "A man who sticks around will be rewarded with sex and her devotion." I guess I misinterpreted your use of the English language, so which of us is the uncomprehending fool? Unfortunately for me my deficiency is the fact I put time in to read your post. Is your deficiency the fact you think everyone who doesn't agree with you is wrong no matter what they think? @Kenkong nope not me, haven't done a my take but if most of the women on here are like this idiot I feel sorry for the men here!
Where a man can seek sex? Only a brothel. The rest are invalid. A single male (and I've tried) are not allowed to sex parties, swinger clubs, get no hits on Craigslist and hook up sites work for a minority of good looking men. The rest don't. Women don't get it at all. For many men, getting sex is fucking hard, and women don't get it because you don't have this problem. So yeah, if we lived in a world where I as a male could just go get random casual sex any time I want from a willing female counterpart, nobody would get hurt, but it doesn't work that way. Men have to jump hoops and play by this stupid 3 month rule. My rule? If I'm not married, anything is game including screwing others while we in the dating phase. Like men are not entitled to sex, women are not entitled to a mans commitment until he says so.
1) Personal anecdotes CAN NOT be used as justification/evidence to state that something is always/never true due to the fact that it is bias. So your proposed argument is simply thrown out. It has worked for many of men as well as have not. But it DOES work. How? Maybe I should point you to some guys who made it work for them. 2) I don't understand what a lot of you guys are not getting. You're not jumping through hoops nor is she trying to manipulate you. This is a way for her to find guys that truly want a relationship. You sound like you prefer sex before anything so a woman would weed you out and that would be in her best interest as well as yours. 3) If you're "dating" someone and I mean simply talking, that's a bit scummy to go around screwing someone else while showing interest in someone. Why even date at all? The point of dating is trying to get into a committed relationship.
1) please. Point out these guys
... that went too early:) but yeah again, I keep repeating, why can a prozzie charge more for half an hour of sex than a lawyer for an hour consultation? Massive demand. Pick up artists make millions with their books, why? Men cannot get sex that easy. A minority do. I can speak to every social group, and it's the same, the group of men "get lucky" and there is that one who does well. My point still stands. Just google this shit. 2) guys who wait get friendshipzoned. I'm sure I speak for many guys here. It's amazing that a girl will give you a 3 month waiting period, but 2 months down the line she is fucking someone else. It actually happened to me this week. Saw her Tuesday, tried getting it on, she said wait, I did. Find out on Friday she fucked some other dude. I'm not pissed, because I have other options (genius me). 3) it is a bit scummy. But don't hate the player, hate the game. Not withstanding above example, men have to date because asking a random stranger for sex...
1) I honestly don't believe it's as hard as you're making out. I know this claim and have heard it, but there must be something wrong on you guys' part. I can not believe that it is incredibly hard for a man to find sex without attachment. I will ask that question. 2) I cringed. That's sick. Look, Scrambled, not ALL women are like that and fuck I wish I would have put that some women abuse this rule to manipulate men, but I can promise that many women are only wanting a true mate. And based off of what you said I can see why you feel as you do. But that's no excuse to lie/manipulate someone. That is not the game--that is the player who performs those actions.
Oh, you can keep asking questions dearie, but until you unplug your ears and open your mind to an experience which is completely alien to you, you won't understand. Oh sure, you'll get high fives from girls on social media, but you'll never understand a man to the depth you claim to want.
Ok I'm back... that pesky Christmas thing happened, ok... some great reply by the guys! 1) it's very hard for many men to find sex. So hard that many men put up their white flag and wait for 30 so that their nice guy demeanour can actually be seen by a woman. what's even worse and more common, is men settle for women so they have companionship and something better than masturbation. Again Google this shit. What's even worse, is that even if a guy does get a girlfriend, he may not still get his fantasies or needs met. I'm even having this debate on quora with a polyamourous sex author. I play this game and see it often. 2) why is it that whenever a guy brings up dating problems, you women are like "you going for the wrong women" or like "not all women do this" ? Like guys have a choice. Some women may manipulate this, but who gives a shit, a proper, logical man wouldn't allow this to happen from ANY woman. And then my worst...
... jusy because a guy wants sex, doesn't make him bad or a player. So yes, he can walk away from the rule, but the girl loses out on a great catch. Conversely, and I am one, I'm a patient player. I can play a girl for 3 or more months to get lays only. But i am usually speaking to other women anyway while I do it. Another thing... If she has had heaps of previous lovers and won't sleep with you. That tells me she is some attractive girl who knows her power and is wielding it by playing the man. That alone would fuck me off from the start. I refuse to be played like that. I will be fucking others while we date and when it comes up (if ever) I would simply say "hey you had lots, so have I" now we have something in common.
1) Just because it is hard for many men to get sex does not mean that rules like this one should not exist. It's selfish to propose that because it may hinder some men from getting to sleep with a woman as soon as they'd like, she should simply not wait until she's comfortable or sacrifice what she wants. And your point about the girlfriend would be? Getting into a relationship is not about having all of your sexual needs explored, especially if your partner is not into it. Again, it's a selfish expectation. If the man wants a threesome and his girl doesn't, why should she bend to what he wants? If it's that important to him, he needs to find someone that will do it. 2) Because it's true. A generalization is not true no more than it would be if I said all men are worthless based off of the guys here on GaG. Also, a lot of guys refuse to see their possible part in why they are single and instead blame someone else. 3) That's subjective. I don't think he's a catch if all he's
interested in is sex or he prefers to have sex sooner than I'd like. He might be a good guy, but not a catch because I'm sure many women will agree that her "catch" is someone who will ensure that she's comfortable. 4) Then you're repulsive if you don't let her know that you're seeing other people. Dating is about trying to get into a relationship and it makes no sense to "talk" to multiple people while going on dates with one who believes that you two might be starting something. 5) Irrational assumption. Just because she's slept with many men before does not mean that she's manipulating guys. As I've stated, there are multiple reasons why she could have had that many and if she's doing this rule, it could be out of trying to squeeze what she wants out of a guy or to find one who won't use her like those who did before. Besides, if you say that, then you're nothing but selfish scum. Your arguments are nothing but selfish claims.
Don't you see that your arguments are selfish too? You basically saying a man must submit to the woman's wants (not having sex for 3 months) and you got a few things wrong: 1) the "not getting sex" was based on your flawed observation that men can get casual sex anywhere, which is incorrect, outside of brothels (lol and that's if the guy has cash) I didn't put it in the context of your 3 month rule. You correct about the threesome thing but a if we go back to what I said about men and their options, if a guy can't get one girl l, how on earth will he get a threesome. Again women think all men have a choice in these matters! We don't unlike women. Again you struggle to understand this because women don't have this problem. 2) dont you think the whole "be yourself" conflicts with your "men don't take responsibility for why they single"? No some don't. Some may take your advice and land up in the friendshipzone. But hypothetically... you women say all this shit but if I took...
... responsibility for my dating life, do you think I could bed over a 100 women like my one friend has? 3) you missing the point. I'm saying the guy may be the best catch and will politely move on, making her miss out. She could go for mr 3 month dude and still be disappointed. Don't generalise here too. 4) It's not repulsive. I'm just taking your advice and taking control of my environment instead of blaming. Again, like sex isn't entitled to a guy, commitment isn't entitled to girl. But my girls do know I'm not looking for anything serious, so I'm not that bad (still better than nice guy... while I'm on that thought) 5) she is playing me. Making me purposefully wait. That's selfish too. Maybe she has her reasons but I would feel like I'm not worthy if she sleeps with other guys and makes me wait. But maybe it's all just selfish, maybe guys shouldn't do this and be nice... oh wait... nice guys😂😂😂
I have two questions:
1. Is the rule required to be transparent? That is to say should the wo/man be required to state that they are following this rule or is it just something that can be evoked whenever without notice?
2. Does the rule "bend" for the invoker? For instance let's say the wo/man gets horny and decides to tease the other partner and goes very close but not all the way repeatedly. The invoking party is basically satisfying themselves while maintaining their boundaries and yet completely taking advantage of their power to deny.
This isn't to say I don't agree with you on many fronts but I'm just curious how it "works" since I've never come across it.
1) Lol. No. She isn't required to say it. There are many women who don't know about this rule and yet follow it because of their own beliefs. 2) No. If a woman is horny and she is comfortable with this man, she shouldn't tease him. If she wants him, she can forego the rule and simply sleep with the man then. I would not encourage ANY woman to that to a man that she's trying to date.
I am going to start using this rule then.
Interesting. I've never understood how a relationship can survive an initial 3-month abstinence period. If it works for you, that's good :o) I've generally pushed for earlier for two reasons: She might think I'm not interested and leave, and of course, because it's fun ;)
I do wonder though… why is there this dichotomy presented between dishonest players and 'real men' looking for relationships (like this dichotomy, also an example of an attempt to control)? Can't men and women just be honest about their flings and feelings? Why so much shaming and control and counter-control? I kinda feel this poisons the well.
I don't know what's getting lost in translation... lol. People usually speak about what they want in a relationship on the first date. Sometimes, sex is brought up. I highly doubt that many would actually say "I expect sex in a few weeks/I'm not putting out for 3 months". They would say "I tend to become intimate earlier than many wo/men expect/I prefer to wait to get intimate until I feel like I've known the man". The 3 Month rule is a time period where women can gauge the man's honest intentions. It's not about a forced abstinence for either side: both individuals determine when they want sex and you can't have it without the other agreeing---otherwise it's rape. If you feel she is waiting too long/uninterested, you can state something about it and she should be honest. Or you could walk away. Many women don't care how soon they sleep with their men and that works. This rule is to help women who seem to be unable to find a good guy who wants a relationship and not simply her body.
I'm kinda horrified that it takes 3-months to work out what a man's "honest intentions" are. I mean, seriously… where are these men coming from? Are you picking up men outside CIA headquarters or something? :o) "Every single one of them says they're a computer salesman, until I catch them with handgun and 4 passports in their briefcase…"
It also depends on how comfortable a person is and how well they know the person. People do have lives and are not contacting the individual they are talking to everyday nor going on dates as such. Even 10 dates can happen to spread across 3 months without someone realizing. The point is that it is a time period that gives a woman enough time to find out if the guy is playing her or not. Many men make the decision for her... and stop talking to her plenty before then because all they want is sex.
ur 25 and talk like a 16 yr old, get a fuckin life
3 MONTHS, 3 FUCKING MONTHS!!!
That's way too long.
1.5 maximum or I'm out.
This rule was created for guys like you, congrats :)
@snowangle Don't get me wrong, I'm all about getting to know a girl and having a genuine relationship but I have biological needs as well. I can't wait around until she's ready otherwise I'd have to look elsewhere.
And that is your choice. This rule helps women find men who are interested in sex AND a relationship. For those who are willing to wait until she's ready, it shows that they're committed to her. Those who want sex before relationship might not be what she wants.
Well I want both and this makes women appear too insecure. I want a confident woman and not one that wants me to jump through hoops before she is ready to kiss me.
1) There is no bearing on confidence/insecurity regarding this issue. That can't even gauged. This is simply for a woman to ensure her best chance of success to get a guy that she wants. 2) I simply explained it's not a tactical manipulation. You're GOING to get sex (I would put my life on that). It's simply WHEN she knows that that's not ALL you're looking for. For some women, it's a week and others it's a year. But hopefully not so long for a kiss... lol.
It is insecurity since the girl is unwilling to have sex earlier in fear of getting used. The whole concept of being used is ridiculous. Both parties engage in an activity that they find pleasurable, a woman shouldn't hold sex over a man's head like a prize to be earned for good behavior. If she wants a relationship she should just state it. If the guy doesn't and they just had sex, well at least they had fun and isn't that what really matters, to enjoy the simple things in life? The 3 month rule divides men into 3 categories: 1) Domesticated 2) Patient 3) Impatient The domesticated man will do whatever it takes for sex so he will be fully under the woman's control. The patient man either has a low sex drive, extreme will power, or is insecure himself. Usually it's the first or third. It's very rare that a guy will like a girl so much that he would willing self sacrifice his desires. The final is impatient. He will either leave the girl or sleep with other girls till she's ready.
It is NOT insecurity. When did I say that there was a fear of being used? I said that there was a possibility of there being users which this rule helps protect them from. This isn't about manipulating a man over sex. You can walk away if you don't like it. This is about a woman who wants to meet a good man not being tricked by a fake one who only manipulated her to get what he wanted: sex. Just because she may want it eventually does not mean that he should trick her into getting it sooner. The rest of your comment is bias and overshadows your gender with horrible assumptions. A man can have a high sex drive and yet feel like he respects the woman more by waiting. Or he perhaps would like to wait himself due to not wanting to objectify this woman. Many reasons. You can have the last say though.
Well I decided to write a myTake about it
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a24344-the-pussy-price-ending-female-entitlement-male-whining
With you completely. 3 months and you're into the mythical friend zone
It's not an insecurity... some women don't want to rack up their sexual partner tally... a 3 month rule is a pretty good way of securing that. The guys that don't want to be with you will leave and when you eventually find someone that waits, hopefully the relationship lasts a long time (or forever preferably). I know that I would feel ashamed if I ever had more than a handful of sexual partners in my lifetime. That's just how my morals guide me. It's right for me. I'd never be with someone who didn't respect my opinion, either. If a guy doesn't want to wait... cool, go to someone else, I don't care. I'll find someone better fitted for me. (this is all hypothetical since I have my partner and we've been together for years and hopefully forever more)
@Mekkalyn But being fucked is fun, so why not just do whatever you want? You make it as if fucking a guy is bad in some way. Who cares if you fuck him and he leaves in the night and never calls? At least you only wasted a night, not 3 fucking months... Some guys will wait out the 3 months just for sex, trust me.
@Mekkalyn Read this myTake
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a24544-how-girls-who-get-their-hearts-broken-turn-into-undateable-women
@TheHooptyMiata Sure having sex is fun... but the beauty of being human is that you have free will and have the capability of controlling yourself. Some people don't want to have sex with a million partners in their lifetime and would like to only have sex with people they are close with. You typically aren't close to someone within a month or less... at least not to the "I love you" stage (my partner and I were an exception, but as a general assessment what I'm saying stands true). And @Questionman, I have never had my heart broken and I am not undateable (since I have a partner, clearly) so I don't see why I should have to read that...
First- I would happily wait until she is ready to have sex... maybe she had some past partners who betrayed her or something... And I would understand if she wants something solid...
Second - I will not date a women who sleeps around...
Of course. That is up to you. I wonder when you'd ask about her partners though (and she yours)... lol.
I wanna marry you too ! Lol
@February12 hahahaha :)
Why are guys like you so rare?
@Babybebe15 cause we can be a bit introverted... LOL
The 😊☺
*tehehe
@February12 ha-ha LOL or maybe most girls don't want guys like me..
Don't hate the player, baby, hate the game. I'm still gonna lie and decieve my way into your pants because it's what I do, I'm a fact of life. The reality is, most women spend their late teens and their twenties being passed about like a fucking bong by guys like me. There's no way in hell they can one day just gain fucking self respect. If she's fucked 500 guys, making you wait is an assault on your manhood, she's making you her bitch. Oh, and that crazy 3 month thing? That's just a challenge to people like me, we'll place bets on how many days it'll take to get you to crack.
Question,
In your opinion, would the man be allowed to have sex with other people during these 3 months? Reasoning behind your answer?
My opinion,
If a girl came up to me and was like "I'll only have sex with you after 90 days." Then I most likely wouldn't stay for these 2 reasons,
1) It's immature: Why limit the both of us sexually over some "rule"?
2) I don't want a girl to believe that she controls 100% of my sex life. It takes two to tango in a relationship, I control 50% and she controls the other 50%.
If let's say I did stay, I'll definitely do this:
Make up some other bullshit rule after the 3 months are up saying that I like to wait 6 months. So 3 months more to go and the reasoning would be that "I get emotionally tied to a girl after I have sex with her so, I have a 6 months rule that I strictly follow." Of course girls will easily see through this and know that I just want to show them that they don't fully control sex which is exactly the message I'm delivering.
Firstly, the woman isn't going to walk up and tell you that nor will she likely tell you that when you're on the first date. People usually explain what they want currently and she might say that she's wanting to get to a know a man deeply, but doesn't want to sex until after this happens. A man may say that he's used to having intercourse within a few weeks. I highly doubt that most people tell the individual a specific time frame, usually because it comes off demanding. Secondly, THERE IS NO LIMIT ON SEX. You're assuming that this woman---IF she didn't follow the rule---would be giving it up to you sooner, as if you're missing out. That has no basis in reality because not ALL women are the same nor will all women do that. You're also blatantly ignoring if she's comfortable with you or not. Thirdly, the rule exists to help women find a man who truly seeks a relationship and weed out those who choose sex over it. It's NOT about control.
YOU have the power to walk away if you so choose. The fault lies on YOU for not walking away when you could have. Besides, your made-up rule is pure manipulation and infantile. This rule helps many women find a man who is truly interested in what she is without needing to have sex right from the start. Many women are not comfortable with having sex within a few weeks and this would serve them well. I acknowledge that there are women who think that is too long: perhaps you should seek them out. Or simply leave if the topic of sex is brought up and the woman tells you that she prefers to wait a few months.
"Firstly, the woman isn't going to walk up and tell you that nor will she likely tell you that when you're on the first date." I'm sure the topic will be mentioned at some point before the 3 months are over though. "she's wanting to get to a know a man deeply, but doesn't want to sex until after this happens." Have I said that she doesn't have the right to? "THERE IS NO LIMIT ON SEX" That's what the "rule" is about, limit sexual activity until _____. "You're assuming that this woman would be giving it up to you sooner" If she didn't that means she technically followed the rule without realizing it. "It's NOT about control." I don't care what the rule is about, I care about what it achieves. The rule does achieve giving control over sex. It's like when they do airstrikes in Syria and civilians die, they say that they do airstrikes to kill terrorists but we can't deny the fact that these bombs kill civilians as well regardless of what dropping them was about..
"YOU have the power to walk away if you so choose. The fault lies on YOU for not walking away when you could have." I believe that I've said, "Then I MOST LIKELY WOULDN'T STAY for these 2 reasons," The above statement plus the first statement of the other comment create a powerful combination. She isn't going to walk up and tell me about a rule in which there's a high chance a man might walk away from except after x amount of dates. If a girl followed these 2 statements combined, it would be pretty selfish, no consideration of a man's effort. "pure manipulation and infantile.. Many women are not comfortable with having sex within a few weeks and this would serve them well" But when a girl does it, it's not manipulation and infantile? And what about if I'm not comfortable having sex within a few weeks either? I can't have a rule of my own? "Or simply leave if the topic of sex is brought up and the woman tells you that she prefers to wait a few months." I said "IF let's say I did stay"
You're assuming that you would be able to have sex whenever you deem "normal" which is unrealistic based off of the fact that the time when many people have sex when dating varies between individuals, experiences, cultures, and different places. Or you could be basing it off of your own personal time frame which is biased and illogical. No. It doesn't mean she "technically" followed the rule. There are many different time frames that people have. I have a friend that gives it up on the first night and another who waits LONGER than 3 months. It depends on what the woman is comfortable with. The rule achieves what it is meant to: weeding out undesirable men who prefer sex over a committed relationship. It works very well. YOU give up control when you acquiesce to her request/compromise with her. That is YOUR fault. YOU do not have to stay when she states that she is not willing to sleep with you right away. So walk away.
"You're assuming that you would be able to have sex whenever you deem "normal" which is unrealistic based off..." I doubt I claimed this, if so, show me where. "Or you could be basing it off of your own personal time frame which is biased and illogical." I have the right not to wait as long as I want or even not wait at all. "... and another who waits LONGER than 3 months." That one not only followed the rule but modified it even further. "It depends on what the woman is comfortable with." Man's comfort should be taken into consideration as well. "YOU do not have to stay when she states that she is not willing to sleep with you right away. So walk away. " I have answered this before. Quoting my previous answer, "I believe that I've said, "Then I MOST LIKELY WOULDN'T STAY for these 2 reasons,""
Again, and just for clarification... The REAL problem is "the woman isn't going to walk up and tell you that nor will she likely tell you that when you're on the first date." So, for a man like me, I have to go through the effort of trying to build a functioning relationship with her and after an x amount of dates then she decides to tell me that I have to wait 3 months? Is there any consideration of the man at all? I would much rather hear about this rule on the first date so, if I'm not accepting it, I don't waste anymore time. But my original opinion had this question, "In your opinion, would the man be allowed to have sex with other people during these 3 months? Reasoning behind your answer?" The answer to this question will be critical. Because if the answer is yes, I wouldn't care if she makes me wait 3 months before she decides to have sex. But if the answer no, then she's literally controlling my sex life in which I can't have sex for 3 months JUST BECAUSE she said so.
Are you truly this simple? It's 3 months when you've met the person and start to get to know them, not after you've entered a relationship. People usually talk about what they want out of a relationship on a first date and that is when you can say that you prefer intimacy sooner and she will reveal it to be later. More than likely, no one is going to give a time frame, but 3 months is stated as sufficient time for a woman to gauge a man's behavior and true interest in a relationship with her. How awkward would it be for someone to simply say out of the blue "I don't sleep with men until 3 months" or "I have to sleep with you within a month"? If you had comprehended the words I had written, you would see that there IS consideration for the man. If it's important to you--clearly--then you tell her that you prefer intimacy early and ask about her opinion. If it's not similar or you don't agree, part ways. It's not rocket science.
Why are you dating/trying to pursue a committed relationship with a person while sleeping around? That's counterproductive and not to mention scummy. If both of you agreed upon it, that's fine. But I highly doubt the woman in this scenario would agree nor want to further indulge someone who seems to prioritize sex over a relationship. The point is for her to find a man who wants a relationship and will not use her like a lot of other men try to. So you'd be weeded out with the rest which would work for you since you have a different time frame.
"when you can say that you prefer intimacy sooner" No, that's when SHE says that she has some rule going of her own, I'm not the one expecting intimacy "sooner" she's the one who will not do it except later. "How awkward would it be for someone..." I don't care if it's awkward, she needs to tell me. "or you don't agree, part ways." You've said this enough times and I've replied back to it enough times by quoting myself saying that I'll most likely walk away. "That's counterproductive and not to mention scummy." So, when I don't give her full control of my sex life I'm a scumbag? Let's agree to disagree on that one. "who seems to prioritize sex over a relationship" I don't prioritize sex over a relationship but sex is a priority nonetheless and eliminating any sexual activity until further notice from her is unacceptable and unfair. "So you'd be weeded out with the rest" Trust me, as soon as I know of such ridiculous rule, I won't wait to be "weeded out" I'll walk away on my own...
This myTake writer is fully advocating that women keep the three month rule SECRET while trying to claim it's not manipulative. Honey, any self respecting man will see right through that and you'll have what's left over as "relationship material" a man who lacks self respect.
@ArtDent "This myTake writer is fully advocating that women keep the three month rule SECRET while trying to claim it's not manipulative." Yeah, the funny part is. She's acting as if we don't know about these rules. We see this stuff in society, hear it when we talk to girls, girls talk about it here and it shows up in movies all the time. One movie I recall was "Think Like A Man" in which Steve Harvey wrote some book that was telling women about a bunch of stuff and Megan Good was following that 90 day rule because she was dating a player. Let any girl follow whatever "rule" she wants to follow. When they get left behind due to the massive competition they have with girls that don't follow this crap, they'll abandon the rule on their own without any action required. Simple as that.
How idiotic. No one is trying to tell women to keep it secret. But many women have different time frames that they deem comfortable and not all divulge that information readily. Grave lack of reading comprehension.
"How idiotic. No one is trying to tell women to keep it secret." Huh? You were the one who made that assumption by saying this, "Firstly, the woman isn't going to walk up and tell you that nor will she likely tell you that when you're on the first date." And my reply to him was to show that this 3 month rule is of no surprise anymore to a lot of people due to the fact that it gets mentioned a lot. "many women have different time frames that they deem comfortable and not all divulge that information readily." But when I set time frames too it's, "pure manipulation and infantile." Double standards much? "Grave lack of reading comprehension." When I get criticism, I base its value depending on who it came from. In this current case, it is originating from a person who not only contradicts herself but also just throws bullets mindlessly so, I'm afraid the criticism is of no value. Better luck next time. :)
There is no contradiction. Simply because you are irrational and incapable of understanding doesn't mean that there is a contradiction. It simply means you're a fool. No surprise there... lol. The scenario of a woman walking up to you and telling you that she isn't going to have sex for 90 days will not likely happen to do it being asinine for anyone to simply approach someone and say that. Many people don't talk about sex on the first date because many see that as too soon to talk about. It does happen though and when that conversation comes about, she should tell him what she wants. What a pussy. You stated that you would purposely extend lack of sex for 3 months as a power play. THAT is manipulative and in that context is why I said it. Your only reason to do that was entirely selfish. You're clearly incapable of any rational thought and common sense. Every woman would do well to steer clear of you and I feel sorry that good men must count you among their number. :/
"The scenario of a woman walking up to you and telling you that she isn't going to have sex for 90 days will not likely happen to do it being asinine for anyone to simply approach someone and say that." You said that before in different wording and my reply was, "I don't care if it's awkward, she needs to tell me." "you would purposely extend lack of sex for 3 months as a power play." You said that before too multiple times and here's the summary of my replies, "That's what the "rule" is about, limit sexual activity until _____." "I don't care what the rule is about, I care about what it achieves. The rule does achieve giving control over sex." Due to the fact that you have nothing new to say except insults like "you're a fool." and "What a pussy." I've taken the liberty of not stooping down to your level and blocking you. Cheers,
Oops, looks like your account is not around anymore... shocking!
Is this 3 month rule a real thing? The first time I heard of it was after joining GaG and seeing a lot of guys complaining about it. Well, maybe I'm getting old and this is something kids just came up with :) Fair enough, they gotta make their own rules.
a few more centuries and men will be able to order what type of perfect woman they want from honda
you're too old for this
can I do this as a guy?
#5 just reinforces the alpha fux/beta bux worldview.
How so?
The view is that women spend their most desirable years having sex with men who will never offer them security and that they eventually get to a place where they want a stable man. No self respecting man would be okay with waiting for someone who has a history of putting out easily to others. The man who wrote the long take about attraction was right on the money. His take was so accurate that it should be promoted as a my take.
@pnl86
What you said was complete bias and insulting to many men. Every man is an individual and is free to make his own choices, have his own preferences and wants. A man can have a great deal of self-respect and not care how many women a woman's bedded. To say that no man should date a woman with a high number would in turn make me say the same about men. That "view" is incorrect. Plenty of women do that and just as many don't.
You are free to exclude promiscuous men from your dating/mating pool. I don't date men, I don't get into relationships with men, so if women want to date promiscuous men, that's not my business. I would not consider a promiscuous minded woman as anything other than a good time, I would not trust her with my heart, this is my right, and that right is every bit as legitimate as your "make him wait" opinion.
That is your opinion which you're right to have but it is not rational to me, especially since those who have been so in the past may not be so now. You have your preferences though and no one should change them. I just hope you acknowledge that not all promiscuous women are what the stereotype leads many to believe.
Thanks for allowing me to have my own opinion based on being in numerous relationships with both monogamy minded people and casual sex minded people. Casual sex minded people should stick together and stop trying to hide who they are, let people make informed decisions
Is it this take or this take?
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23687-dual-nature-of-women-never-let-a-girl-make-you-wait-for-sex
or
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22916-the-structure-of-the-dating-game-unwrapped-for-young-men-to-understand
@KENKONG yes