The layers of the female psyche explained for men (by a cynic)

For most men, women are extremely frustrating, because they don't understand them. For other men like me, women are frustrating because we do understand them. I guess its really no secret men of this generation tend to idealize women and fantasize about them as these perfect angels, but the bottom line is no man with that kind of perspective can accurately predict their behavior, because his perspective is pretty much wrong. And then there's the second type of man, the kind who's had enough experience, maybe he's dated a few of them, just got out of a failed marriage, he realizes women really aren't all they are cracked up to be, and his immediate instinct is to just be jaded about it but it really doesn't make them any more predictable. And there is a lot of men who fluctuate between these two states of what i like to call "jizz vision" where you're so pent up with hormones that the jizz has pulled the wool over your eyes until a beautiful woman can do no wrong, and the ugly truth that hits after that jizz has left your system, where you realize basically everything wrong that woman has done since the moment you laid eyes on her, how obnoxious and self absorbed she is, all the racist things she said about black people that you just let her get away with, and the fact that the bodacious ass you've been coveting is actually literally full of shit, and the hole on the other side spits blood and acid and tiny screaming people.

And there's actually a surefire way i've discovered to switch any man between jizz vision and the true horror show that women's bodies actually are. Imagine the most beautiful, perfect woman on the planet. A supermodel, or celebrity, someone you idealize. Now picture them with explosive diarrhea. Now fundamentally grasp in your mind that that specific woman has already HAD diarrhea in the past many times, may have diarrhea now, and will almost certainly have diarrhea again. Idealization shattered. If you can hold that realization in your minds eye and still want to have sex with her, especially up the ass with everything you know.... Congratulations. Thats true love right there.

Anyway, as i've established, most men fluctuate between jizz goggles and a realization horror at the physical and emotional realities of actually being with a woman. But intellectually grasping them is another story, because between the woman on a pedestal and the psycho bitch from your nightmares, these are just two common but invalid assumptions about the way they think. And in actually coming to terms with the way they think, i have come to one fundamental realization that helped me most of all: Women don't fucking understand themselves either. But the one thing that they are so very good at, so much better than men will ever be, is putting up walls around themselves. Hurtles and obstacle courses between you and their heart and pussy. Deep down, they want you to get that just as much as you do. They're just vaguely insane and self destructive.

Allow me to break down my understanding of women thus far, starting with the innermost, truest self, in my opinion.

1.) The core, the diamond in the rough.

At the center of every woman is a man. Basically. Or rather, i should say that the innermost part of a woman is RELATEABLE to any man, because it contains not the core of human experiences, and an honest, genuine self that men can be sympathetic to. The difference is that men often have an almost direct expression of this self, while most women are almost 100% completely in denial of it. And those who are not, are usually more mature and have been through more humbling life experiences. Were women true to these selves, they would be far more open and sexually expressive, and should they actually understand this side of themselves more they would be far more emotionally intelligent. It is this self that is most deserving of love, of having its needs fulfilled, and in truth, if the needs and desires contained within the core were actually fulfilled, it would genuinely and permanently satisfy them and bring them happiness. Sadly, most women never accept this part of themselves at all, and those who do, end up doing it in their 40s. Shame.

2.) Layer 2: The raw repressed desire. (usually submissive)

The downside to having many layers that cover up your true self is all the shit that gets repressed. We haven't even begun to get to the layers caused by years of social conditioning, but bubbling under everything else is the pure, unfiltered need to just get bent over a fucking coffee table and reemed repeatedly. I've interpreted this part of the female psyche as basically the most honest expression they have short of their core self, and it is not uncommon for women to go absolutely nuts when showing this side of themselves as its basically pent up twisted energy coming from their core self. It comes out in their private life between the pages of 50 shades of grey or the rare moments when a man actually succeeds in getting them in bed, but there is a lot of women who are constantly trying to shut this part of themselves up, so if you get a glimpse of it over some steamy texts, don't be surprised if she completely cannonballs the conversation before it can ever lead to any actual action. And if you do have sex with her don't be surprised if she puts an end to it before it can become a healthy, regular source of sexual release. Women are afraid of this part of themselves. Because of:

3.) layer 3: The ego filter.

I'm pretty sure layer 2 manifests itself most often in submissiveness in defiance of the sheer content and volume of the ego filter. Bottom line is, if you're a dude trying to get laid, the ego filter is your #1 enemy. What you might not know, is it is also the womans worst enemy too. Good luck finding a woman who will admit it though. Ego tends to deny its own unhelpfulness. This is the largest and most complicated layer of a woman, with many sub layers, some are completely optional and depend on their culture and i have yet to detect and categorize them all. Lets start with the most essential,

3A.) the Insecurity layer.

Bottom line is, most of the insecurity in women is just whether or not they let the lower layers of themselves be seen. This may or may not be insecurity about how badly they crave complete and utter domination, some girls are more in touch with themselves than that. Body insecurity ends up both here and in the faux-insecurity section, sometimes both at once in different ways. But the most common that i have seen, is insecurity about true and truthful DESIRES. For instance, with shit like 50 shades of grey more mainstream now, I've seen so many fucking women who can open up about being into that kinky shit but who have a boatload of hostile defense mechanisms that trigger the moment you remotely imply she could feel that for a SPECIFIC man, or the SPECIFIC things she fantasizes about with him. I have seen nothing more daunting to a woman than the fear of telling a man to his face, in public, that she wants to fuck him. You'd even be hard pressed to find a woman who will admit to wearing makeup specifically for the attention of a man. The insecurity layer is often filled with fears of giving other people what they want and having that taken advantage of. No matter how unfounded that paranoia is, it tends to be one of the top ones. They're almost always insecure about open sexual expression. They're often less insecure about the empty idea of admitting to enjoying sex or having sexual desires, but the moment you probe into any specificity, the higher ego layers make short work of treating the person who is asking as a threat. Most guys never get past this layer, because they think they're hurting a girl, but you're actually helping her become a more complete person if you can truly probe past it.

3B.) The scoff layer

The layers of the female psyche explained for men (by a cynic)

This layer wants to be on a pedestal. Other layers don't. Confused? Don't worry, there's a deeper part of themselves that knows its a load of crap, and a shallower part that only pretends it. Women simultaneously love being idealized, hate it deep down, and pretend not to want it while actively seeking it out. Different perspectives at different layers. Rather than ever admit the insecurity layer is hiding actually vulnerability, which would be an act of vulnerability itself, women often react by pretending they're too good for you, or the world. This layer is usually pretty thin and transparent as they don't often think about it enough to come up with actual justifications that reinforce it, the slightest examination can poke logical holes in it, but remember, the insecurity layer is just beneath, so don't poke too hard. It is built almost entirely on the internalized flattery of men that they largely ignore. Usually the last line of defense behind the scoff layer is feigned sexuality. If you shatter this layer, they start disingenuously calling you baby to try to lure you into expressing desire for them, in an attempt to reconstruct the scoff layer around your own desire for them. If they can use their sexuality get you to place them on a pedestal, they can reaffirm their own superiority long enough to get the framework for a new scoff layer going. If they can't, it often leads to a structural collapse of the rest of the ego layer, and without a rigid structure to hold it in place, the insecurity layer and repressed desire start to swirl together and fixate around you and often leads to actual sexual feelings about you, but these are not healthy and often obsessive, as they are desperately seeking a paradigm shift to avoid a total mental breakdown, latching onto the nearest stable worldview. Lesser men try to exploit these kind of emotional crises in order to get laid, but i prefer to help them strip away some of their ego layer and get in touch with the true self they have been denying.

3C.) The faux-insecurity layer

Sometimes men start digging around in womens minds and this red herring is the furthest they ever get. This is usually a list of things women are told by society they are or should be insecure about. The bottom line is, most women are not exactly even fully conscious of the real contents of their actual insecurity layer. And there is usually a pretty wide disconnect between that and their faux, ostensible insecurities. The faux-insecurity layer contains worries about the gender pay gap, social or political fears they pretend to believe in but don't actually buy into--and most worrysome to me? A lot of rape stories. The bottom line is that this layer is not their genuine insecurities but another defense mechanism to hide them, a sort of "oh, you went looking for them? here they are, you can stop looking" to draw away from the real things they're afraid you'll find out about them. (which are honestly way more relatable and nothing to be ashamed of) Which is why it bothers me so much that i've seen as a far too common last resort in arguments, women will use actual rape stories, whether real or fabricated, to convey a faux sense of hurt to hide from the real hurt inside of them. I get that its a mostly unconscious defense mechanism, but thats really messed up, dude. But its highly effective as an end all for any inquisition; most people will not dig deeper after hearing that.

3D.) The "punish me" layer

I don't know if this is so much a sublayer of the ego layer, as it is just a trend that tends to run rampant amongst all the different facets of the ego layer in girls who are especially trying to hide their repressed desire layer, as well as girls with an especially thick scoff layer. I've seen it especially in pretty girls who always get their way, who can't easily reconcile their need for submission with their high self opinion. The punish me layer manifests itself more strongly the greater the contradiction is between the true self and repressed desire, and the faux-desire layer, and most guys mistake it for just being a spoiled bitch. I know i did for... Years. But the bottom line is there is a specific subset of women who just straight up act out all the fucking time, hoping some man will have the balls to stand up to them and tell them off, because what they pretend they want and what they've been told they want isn't what they really want and the more they can get away with stepping on or exploiting the men around them with their sexuality, the more they crave castigation and punishment for it to convince themselves that there is justice in the world. Its the same effect that causes the dude in American psycho to straight up murder people, because no one in his life provides actual consequences for his lifestyle choices. Girls with the punish me layer are literally looking for a man to spank them into being a better person. It is rare that they find a man who can detect it, or they already would be better people, let alone get him to stick around. And you will never know it about them until you confidently contradict them... usually more than once, they have to test whether your convictions are true. The good news is, while these girls are super high maintenance and kinda psycho, they tend to be at least partially conscious of the true reason for their misbehavior--if often completely unwilling to stop it.

The layers of the female psyche explained for men (by a cynic)

3E.) The confused idea of respect layer

This layer is optional. I... think? But it is so common i have to include it. Somehow society has convinced girls of this confused idea that sex is somehow mutually exclusive with respect. I have asked more girls than i can count about this, and i still have yet to pin down the perspective expressed by this layer. I'm serious, ask any girl what she thinks about sex and its relationship to respect, why she thinks sex is disrespectful and how the 2 interplay. I cannot for the life of me ever get a straight answer on this. This layer is just straight up irrational. Its also 100% societies fault. Girls just have fucked up ideas about respect.

The layers of the female psyche explained for men (by a cynic)

3F.) The political / religious ego

This layer is extremely thick in feminists and social justice warriors, and thinner in the types of girls i want to be with. Its also a layer that most men come into contact with when getting to know a woman, and its easy to mistake this with her actual beliefs, but let me tell you... In the deeper layers, there are the things she tries to deny that deep down she knows and FEELS are right. But in this layer, there is no real conviction to it. Sometimes you have to exercise best judgement in determining whether she is sticking so hard on an issue because she actually believes in it wholeheartedly, or because she is defending the stability of one of her many layers and mistaking that for her sense of identity, and there is no layer more commonly mistaken for a sense of identity than this. Whether it be circular feminist rhetoric, or ideas about democrats / republicans perpetuated by the media, persecution complexes, or things her ex boyfriend has done that she has a very specific policy about how she's going to deal with men in the future, this layer acts as a veritable sorting hat for her vagina and does really nothing good for her heart. Also, you'll do best if you ignore it outright. Its just plain wrong.

A very, very common example of this is the whole "no sex until marriage" thing i see in those who believe themselves to be good christian girls. I've been down that road, trying to explain the political context of a letter from paul to the corinthians which is the main source cited for the chastity argument. (spoiler alert, the dude is actually RECOMMENDING sex) As well as his logic behind the marriage suggestion, the fact that he explicitly states it is not a commandment, and the way it was perverted by the savonarola generation. But again, these beliefs aren't logical, they're defense mechanisms. You literally cannot reason with them any more than you can a brick wall. This layer contains circular logic, because it encircles things they dont want you to see, which encircle the true self that you really really SHOULD see, which can wholly contradict this self.

The layers of the female psyche explained for men (by a cynic)

4.) Layer 4: the faux-desire layer.

I'm actually on the fence about what i should call this layer, because even in girls who can admit the things that are in the repressed desire layer or even those in touch with their core self, you'll have a hard time getting them to admit that this one is bullshit. The faux desire layer is filled with a bunch of crap they think they want that doesn't make them happy. I'm talking the whole disney princess crap, fantasies about fancy dates with rich dudes, it is really this superficial idea of "what a woman wants" when you ask her the question directly. And most "nice guys" get confused about why a woman is distant, or not responding to their advances when they just straight up give her what she says she wants. The reason is because its a load of crap. She may totally fucking believe it, but its still a load of crap. Hats off to the girls who say fuck all that disney princess shit, just tie me up and fuck me... Mostly metal heads, from experience.

The layers of the female psyche explained for men (by a cynic)

5.) Layer 5: All other beliefs and ideas irrelevant to sex, ego, or personal and emotional attachment, true and untrue.

Its just the self she wears on her sleeve. This is the her that goes to work, pays her bills. Her favorite TV shows she likes to watch, her favorite color, what she does when she's bored. Not everything has to revolve around some kind of complex or reinforce insecurities or egos. There may even be a direct connection to her true self between the gaps in the other layers, if you can find something she is deeply passionate about by way of the things she has on the surface, it may be a shortcut past all the other bullshit. You won't be able to sidestep all of it, but the more of those layers you can avoid, the better. Because seriously, dude. That shit takes an ENORMOUS amount of effort. And it is literally not your responsibility to pierce through her walls. If she really likes you, she'll open a door for you, in every wall within herself... at least the ones she is aware of.

I hope this helps men understand what they are up against. With this guide you may actually know a woman better than she knows herself, or at the very least predict how she will react. No doubt a lot of women are going to get offended by this, but i've already explained why they react with hostility to having their minds exposed.... Just remember that each of these layers are social constructs and remember to love them for the girl underneath. Just force the evil witch holding her captive to let her free every once in awhile.

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