Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I wanted to write this because I feel people expect their first time to be this wonderful, magical experience that they will look back on fondly for the rest of their life, only to be greatly disappointed after the experience. For some, this expectation may become a reality and it's certainly not impossible, but for the majority it doesn't always work out that way. Even if people reduce their expectations, I still find their expectations are still too high.
I don't want to put a dampener on the prospect of losing your virginity, it's still an overwhelming and exciting experience, but I wanted to share the realities of losing your virginity. This is also to show that making mistakes is part of the process, that we all do it and it can sometimes make it more fun! It may even help any qualms you may have about losing the big "V".
1. It won't be like in the movies
I'm sure people have told you that it won't be as romantic or as smooth as it's shown in the movies. The film industry want to appeal to viewers by fantasising one of the most important and highly anticipated times of many people's lives.
2. You will have trouble taking your clothes off
Like in the movies, the clothes tend to come off the other, pretty swiftly without much effort at all. In reality, you'll be tackling a lot of buttons, belts and tight tops unless you're both wearing loose clothing. You'll find this happens quite a lot, not just when you lose your virginity and it happens to us all so don't feel embarrassed!
3. You will probably do something wrong - and that's okay!
This might be your worst fear but it shouldn't be. We all make mistakes and that applies to the bedroom too. If you're both virgins, a mistake is likely to happen such as bumping heads (we've all done it) or breaking something around you but don't dwell on it. Sex rarely goes perfectly. Laugh it off and get back to business!
4. You might not climax
A large number of women find it difficult and near impossible to reach orgasm through penetration alone. Trying to reach climax through clitoral stimulation without the use of your hands takes some skill and can be just as difficult.
Some men may be too nervous or overwhelmed with excitement that they can't get it up or they can't focus on reaching climax.
It's not the end of the world if you don't reach orgasm your first time. You'll have plenty more chances to learn about what turns you on the most and what position is best for you.
5. It won't last long
The porn industry can be misleading in more ways than one. Men lasting a long time in the bedroom is one of those misconceptions. In reality, a man may last a couple of minutes up to about half an hour at most. Guys, you'll probably not last that long your first time because it takes time to learn how to delay climax.
6. You'll probably not stay with the person
Unless you waited until marriage to lose your virginity, people tend not to stay with the person they lose their virginity to. No matter how great the experience was and how much you felt your connection grow, losing your virginity to someone doesn't permanently tie you together and you're not immune from breaking up because you shared such an experience.
7. It may hurt
Ladies! Be prepared for pain. Women, more often than not, have a hymen. The hymen is a bit of thin skin that is found near the cervix and is attached to the vaginal walls. Not all women are born with one and it's common for women to unknowingly break their hymen when they're younger through rough activities and masturbation. Some women are born with a complete hymen, others have partial hymens. Having sex causes the hymen to break and that's what hurts and occasionally bleeds. If you have a complete hymen, sex will likely be painful for you and less painful if you have a partial hymen. If you have no hymen, it shouldn't hurt. Tell your partner to go slow and not to rush into anything. Don't be afraid to let them know you're experiencing pain. It's all about communication!
There's no real way to tell if you have your hymen intact and how much you have there, apart from going to the doctor and asking them to have a look for you.
There you go! Again, I don't want you to read this and now dread losing your virginity or interpret this myTake negatively. You should still look forward to losing your virginity, but don't go into the experience with high expectations otherwise you may be disappointed. If you have low expectations, you're more likely to be pleasantly surprised!
What Girls & Guys Said
28 32Even if you did wait until marriage to lose your virginity studies show that 50% Of marriages end in divorce so they may still not end up with that person as time goes on otherwise good take :)
Studies actually show differently.
Interesting read:
jezebel.com/that-50-percent-divorce-statistic-hasnt-been-true-for-a-1665833364
@gray_sailor thank you. It is an interesting read however my point is divorce does happen so saving yourself from marriage doesn't automatically protect you from having the same partner for life
Agreed.
Thanks for the tips! However, I plan on saving my sex for marriage!
didn't knew people like u still exist in USA... good..
We're a lot better than other countries. I know European countries are full of sluts.
Just because some people enjoy sex doesn't make them sluts.
@dudegrt09 No but if a girl likes to have sex with multiple guys, she's a slut.
umm... and how many in your opinion are 'multiple'? and why such a term to describe only a girl?
No she's not. If a man can sleep around, so can women! You can't brand half the world as sluts either. Don't be so ignorant.
@TakeOwner Men have the instinct to have sex with several women. Women are the ones who bear children, so they're more selective. I'm not ignorant, I'm just aware of SCIENCE.
Good saving sex for marriage is good as it results in being less 22% likely to divorce.
(standing ovation)
Bravo! Bravo!
Oh thankyou 😊
I can't complain.
Mine was fairly romantic.
It will be wonderful because it will happen due to patience and not being in a rush... meet a girl... hurry hurry, ask her out... hurry hurry kiss her... hurry hurry date her for a few weeks or even a few days and have sex instantly.
-Personally I think people that are disappointed in it are so because of what I just said. For me it will be wonderful even if it is not like you say.
Patience isn't always the solution. I was with my ex for nearly two years and I lost it to him. It wasn't awful but it wasn't amazing or romantic either.
Your only 20, sheesh you make it sound like your 40 or something.
I mean there was this 24 year old teacher that said she was to young to have kids and she was married.
#7 is partially inaccurate. Tearing the hymen isn't the only reason it hurts.
scared me for life. i am definitely not having sex
Hah, you will eventually!
um no, thanks.
It was in that moment when little Jimmy Johnson lost his virginity; He realized he could become a great porn star.
I'd tell the guy to go slow but I'd probably avoid saying I'm a virgin
Is that a peachgirl pic of momo on your default pic?
I'm sure he could work out by your behaviour that you are a virgin so I would suggest you tell him you are so he knows what he's dealing with. There's no shame in being a virgin. It's best to be honest and possibly have a better, more comfortable experience.
Yes ☺ @coffeprince
That is my favoriteeeee manga :}
@coffeprince Me too and NANA!! I wish there were more like them, the anime was nice too
Good take intresting points here , I think the communcation bit is really important.
Mine was different from how most girls describe it. It felt good right from the moment he entered, and I ended up having an orgasm too (without clitoral simulation). Though for some reason, the guy I lost it to couldn't climax. It was his first time too, so I thought he would be done pretty quick. He gave up after an hour so I got him of with a handjob instead. It was pretty great.
Oh, sounds like you got lucky there but he didn't! Glad it was good for you. :)
Thanks. He said he did enjoy it even though he couldn't finish. And good take. :)
The reality of it is that I'll lose it when I get married and it will be realistic it may be good or it may be bad at the start, but that's why practice makes perfect and you get better at it over time.
I feel so sorry for the first time. It can't possibly live up to the hype. Mine was excellent, though. Then again, I had no expectations.
That's probably why it was good. Living with no expectations usually makes life more enjoyable. :)
It does? Should probably try that...
The 5 th point is really disturbing for me...
Don't worry. Most girls are aware of this and she shouldn't be bothered. You can always go for round two.
Don't worry I have been with men who could last for an hour, penetrating without a break. The number is just an average ;)
great take :) #5 is particularly true. I think porn has harmed peoples sex lives and social dynamics in more ways than one. I may do a take on it myself
Good take.
However:
"The hymen is a bit of thin skin that is found near the cervix and is attached to the vaginal walls."
Actually, it's at the entrance of the vagina and most often it's indeed just a rim that needs to be stretched, rather than a seal that's teared or broken. There's hole in the hymen, for the period blood. A few drawings here: https://www.healthystrokes.com/hymengallery.html
(By the way, a hymen is not like a guarantee seal on a software DVD.)
I'd advise to stretch it by fingering first, not just one time but many times. One finger, two fingers (three is about the girth of a penis).
Then teasing the entrance of the vagina with the tip of the penis until the girl is really asking for it.
in my opinion the best mindset is not to decide "We'll do it on Feb29 in the evening": that's too stressing. Rather decide From now on it may can/will happen when the circumstances are right." (meaning relaxed, playful, BC, condoms, nobody in the house who could interrupt the couple, those damn phones off and the girl very horny and really wanting it. )
Oh god, three fingers is about the girth? Ow. Ow. Just. Ow. I struggle to get two fingers. Thank god I'm gay.
And many guys are clumsy (or want to impress by being brutal): few persons have much experience doing something a first time. Add: stressed girl+clumsy guy+stressed guy+girly not horny enough+ bad circumstances and it explains why losing virginity CAN hurt more than just the stretching of that rim of fine skin. But gentle guy+keeping heads cool, not panicking and a horny girl help a lot to keep it from being traumatizing. My wife says "a slight burning, soon forgotten".
Good thing I read all these before posting. I was going to say the same thing. I would only add that the cervix is at the other end of the vagina, so they are not anywhere near each other.
Great take very true!
Pretty much sums it up. You also might as well add that nothing changes other than the fact that you had sex for your first time. I mean I didn't feel like a different person the day of or after.
People saying things like: "Women can smell virginity from a mile away." Well apparently women have shitty nose. ._.
Never heard that phrase but yeah I must say it's bullshit just like how men can't tell if a girl has slept around and less she talks about it or others do.
Because I had the experience, I was able to give my girlfriend an AMAZING first time... it was pretty good for me too :) We have good chemistry. But MY first time sucked too. lol.
This is so true.. Losing your virginity definitely isn't magical or glorious lmao