The Secret of Genbento's Gender Life

[Image from the anime: The Wandering Son, a beautiful show about those who want to be their other gender.]

The Secret of Genbento's Gender Life

Hi everynyan~! (^ o ^)

I thought of making a 'myTake' for the first time. (I actually don't know what I'm suppose to talk about on here but...*shrugs*) I decided to talk a little about myself and about how I view both genders. I wanted to put this out somewhere so that at least one person out there will understand...

I'm going to be VERY open with this...and a little bit of a "tmi" ('too much info' so, mature content is in here...don't let your kids read this! XD) moments...this site looks like it's an okay site to talk about this stuff so....I hope is okay to mention on this site...if not, let me know~ I'll do anything to change this!

Ok...here it goes...

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To be honest, I never liked how others think the 2 genders are different from each other. Even by looks, guys can also look like girls. (Especially these days due to genetics and personalities!)

What I believe is that the only thing difference is that the 2 genders-Male and Female-only specify what organs they have. That is the only thing different from the two in my eyes.

We all should be treated equally.

As for me: I grew up a feminine male. (hating being male around middle school) I remember back when I wasn't even in school yet or just barely, I found a pair of my Mom's bras on her bed. As I picked them up, I thought to myself, "Girls are lucky! They get to wear armor~!"

Years later, I was in elementary school and use to like holding the doors open for people...in strange ways. I was kind of a show off at the time. I use to hold the door in many ways and tried holding the door open with my chest. I was thinking to myself, "This would be easier if I had boobs..."

Funny thing is that, I was still a little kid then. If I was a girl, I wouldn't have developed much at the time. >w<

As I grew up in Middle School and High School, some of my friends were noticing how feminine I was. At the time, I never liked it/never admitted it. I would argue back.

Around grade 11-12, I became more accepting and realized how feminine I really was. I shrugged it off.

When I graduated, I actually wanted to be a female SO MUCH! It was tempting to get my sex changed manually.

(I was realizing how annoying it is being a male...><' Too much stress and depression over certain things about the male hormones and body I hated. I was even hating my 'junk' in between my legs...it would flop around all over the place in my underwear. Unless I'm wearing female panties/underwear...it would actually stay still. Female underwear is so comforting too! The way they fit me and I feel free with them on. It's kind of like taking off your jeans and putting on PJs or, taking off all the layers from a walk in the snowy blizzard.

I don't know if it's okay to talk about this or not but....

it is also VERY rare for me to get 'turned on'/aroused/horny/what ever it's called these days. You won't believe it! I don't get turned on from looking at females-clothed or not clothed. I don't get turned on by wearing their stuff either. The only time I'm feeling turned on is only by random and if I'm alone and remember the feeling for too long...which is also very rare! I never liked the feeling but, it happens. When it does though, it would grab the hair in that area and pull as the skin violently. If it's not doing that, it would rub against the material-feeling weird and pained from the rub. It gets very annoying! Females are lucky they don't have to worry about small shapeshifting aliens to show up and try to rip from their skin and clothing. ><'

When I was in middle school when it started happening, no matter how 'hard' it got, I would force it to bend it so it would go under my legs-facing it in the same direction as my butt. If it was too hard or hurts, I would wait a bit AND THEN bend it until it returns to normal finally! I use to hate my junk so much that sometimes I would beat it up...kind of. (Not as harsh as you may be thing though!) Lets not go there though...this is probably getting far enough. -w-' LUCKILY, for me...it's not too noticeable if I'm feeling tired on. It never happens when I'm around people anyways. I just feel very weird and annoyed at the same time by it.

>_> I still bend it when I can if it ever happens again. I probably wouldn't mind it if I were a female because...well, if it won't be noticeable to others, I may be able to ignore the feeling quicker and it will be gone! The only way you could tell with females is if they act the way they feel...which doesn't always happen. Like what I usually say, "It depends on the person.")

By the time I changed my mind...I actually loved who I am after all. I loved being unique from most males. ^_^ <3

The only down thing is...it's hard to get jobs for males now....at least in the part of the world I'm in...

I can't get hired in so many places. Yet, my sister and Mom was able to get jobs in a snap! Most places that are looking are looking for females. Mom told me it may be because majority of males tend to stare/etc females and that's why it's harder for them to get jobs. -w-'

(To me, I think it's because many people say men are more aggressive than women...but I'm totally not like most males...so...I wish people would know that and not listen to sexism and stereotypes...-_-)

I was tempted in trying to apply female shops and stuff BUT...I bet that won't work even though I have a strong feminine side...^^'

So yeah...there are some times I hate being male. Sometimes not. I know females can have some annoying things about themselves including cramps, periods, and so on. Thing is, if I could...I'd prefer those than being me. Periods are one week per month. I've had burning feelings in the gut and pretty much the same area as where females would get cramps. Even I get cramps down there. I understand how painful it is because when I get cramps, it's REALLY bad as well. Sometimes worse than others. Sometimes it would even last as long as a period would! Eventually it all goes away though. Plus, I have a VERY real imagination. Real enough to know how others feel. Especially when they tell me how much they are going through and how it feels like. (Trust me...me and my sister have had conversations about it before. I also talked to a FTM friend of mine about it too! She (who is now a he) told me that girls are not always mad in the period time too. Sometimes it just boosts all kinds of emotion.

So now I hate it when people joke around about girls on their periods...it's so annoying!! >m<')

One more more thing before I run out of space:

I-these days, has a strong feminine side and now I can USUALLY see things in a female perspective after doing so for many years. I still need improvement. I still want advice to become more like a female.

I'm still always be straight, just a VERY unique male. I want to be a legend I guess...I want to be remembered when I die. I want to be the one male that even girls who feel awkward around guys can be with. I had an online friend who was scared of males for a really long time because she was raped when she was a kid. It made me feel bad, so I had to keep her positive online.

I just want to help girls out. I also want to be more myself and learn new things and become more feminine since I enjoy their type of lifestyles~<3 (Like exercising and how smart they can be in many ways! My Mom is one of my role-models. I was always a Mother's boy growing up. I was scared of my father...I also grew up only being friends with the other girls as well because I couldn't fit in with the other guys...if I did, they would usually backstab me or get too aggressive. I ONLY had ONE guy friend who stayed friends with me since Kindergarten and still! We are now in our 20s! It's rare to be friends for that long these days as what I've been seeing/hearing about!)

I just need more advice. (Not to mention I was shy and anti-social my whole life...so I still got to learn, socially-wise...) That's why I joined this website. I want to learn more. ^^

I also crossdress still but, not as much as I use to...I might crossdress more when I move out on my own though~! <3 ^_^ I feel more comfortable in women clothing...in fact, their jeans actually fit me better than male jeans! Everytime I wear male jeans, they slide...showing my underwear...

That's an another thing I hated growing up. >< My underwear showing always annoyed me. After learning that female underwear could also help with that, I started wearing them so that my underwear won't show as much anymore. ;w:

Shirts. They are softer and thinner...well...not all of them but...from my crossdressing dresser, there's lots. XD

If I were a girl, I wouldn't care about the size of boobs. Unless they are really big....I can see that being annoying as well as walking around with junk underneath a male's legs...><

If I were on my period, I would do the same as my sister. I would use just pads. (I wouldn't stand tampons lol)

I would be one of those nerdy quiet tomboy/tomgirl type, who plays videos games and watches anime as I am now.

In fact...if I were female, nothing much will change. I would still be the same.

As of right now, people have been thinking I may be a transgender lesbian. X3 Some people who don't know me either thought I was a female or Asian. Haha! >w<

(Then again...I'm the only one in my family who seems more Asian than the rest of my family....gotta love mixed genetics! YAY~!)

So yeah...I hope I'm not forgetting anything...I typed a lot! X'D

If you say anything negative in the comments, I'm gonna ignore you. I love to reply to people, so don't do that. Please~! ^.-

OH! Before any of you pictures me crossdressing oddly....don't worry, I'm not the type who looks ugly crossdressing! Like I said, people online thought I was female and a personal friend sent the best image of me crossdressing (the one on my profile picture) to her friends and they believed/swearing that I was a female haha~ Good times....

Anyways...I should get going and let your eyes and brain rest! Sorry for all of this!

Thanks for reading!

\(^ o ^)/

I don't know what topic this would be so...I'll just pick sexual behavior for now...

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