Sexual Relationships
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The sounds women make during sex are almost indistinguishable from distress.

I don’t want to generalize. Everyone is different. What I want to explore doesn’t describe all women (or men).

DizziDesii recently shared this poll about what turns you on the most – sight, touch, sound, taste or smell – and it made me think about women’s sounds.
Do you cum harder from sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell?

A lot of women, especially when they are really “feeling it”, grunt, gasp, squeal, cry out, and say things like “Oof!” and “Oh God!” In their female voices, it can sound like they are feeling distress, strain, pain, or torment. Even their faces contort when they are in ecstasy. It’s only when they say words like “Yes!” or “Fuck me!” that it’s clear that they are loving it.

The sounds women make during sex are almost indistinguishable from distress.



Ladies, are you aware of this? I hope it doesn’t make you self-conscious because your uninhibited reactions are extremely charming.

I’m having a hard time describing what I mean, but maybe you can understand what I am trying to say. Maybe you have better words for describing it.

Male voices do not have the same quality. Their low timbre grunts and gasps sound more like exertion and gratification.

The sounds women make turn guys on. Guys love the idea of straining women to the seeming limits of their endurance. I’m wondering why that is.

It seems like a primal urge to overpower a woman, feel her straining and struggling, and hear her helpless cries of alarm. I guess it has to do with dominance and is tied to sexual dimorphism - the fact that women are generally smaller, weaker, and more vulnerable.

Primitive tribes would raid neighboring villages just to steal women.
And there is an entire genre of art dedicated to female slaves. The White Slave by Ernest Normand, is one example. I can't include photos because they would get censored.

Are those behaviors tied to motivations I am referring to?

I don’t even want to think about actual rape or slavery. Those things are horrific. But both men and women engage in harmless rape fantasies.

Anyway, I’m just trying to explore the psychology and possible the evolutionary reasons behind the vocal phenomenon.

Sticking specifically to the audio aspect, do you have any thoughts about the reasons why women are designed to sound like that even when they are enjoying total fulfillment, and why those sounds turn men on? It's an interesting dynamic.

And men, do those sounds turn you on?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know exactly what you are talking about. 😇 Nice mytake.

    "Ladies, are you aware of this?" Somewhat. I am aware there can be some confusion, but it's hard for me to understand why because the feelings of ecstasy and distress are so different and I think my own reactions are different. However, my husband would totally agree with you.

    • Thank you, TrueConfection. :-)

    • Thank you for the MHO ❤

Most Helpful Guy

  • I never thought of it that way.

    At the gym I go to there is this women who frequents the squat area. When she puts on the heavy plates and lifts the noise she makes are akin to sexual noises and it gets loud too. You can see several of the male gym patrons laughing at this grunting.

    Oh well...

    • Your story about the woman at the gym is right on target.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Perhaps if men had higher vocal registers similar to women, they would also sound like they are in distress.

    Men do the "Oh god" and "fuck me harder" statements also, so I don't see any difference there. I've never heard much about men screaming during orgasms, but men aren't "allowed" to emote like women or they're made fun of, so there's all that grunting from low registers and "man" sounds.

    I think THAT is the GIANT DIFFERENCE.

    • I think you're absolutely right. I used the word timbre, but I had vocal register in mind. But yeah, men sound more like growling beasts and women sound more like fragile victims unless they utter positive words.

  • I sometimes scream during an orgasm, and I don't think that terror and horror are related to it. I believe that the relationship between those two events are that they are EXTREME events, and cause an intense impulsive, uncontrollable, frantic response.

    When I build to an orgasm, and when my orgasm peaks, my heart rate increases significantly, and my body uncontrollably clenches with increasing intensity, until I'm frozen because my entire body is flexing. I can't control this, and it forces air out of my lungs with intensity. Everything I do is uncontrollably intense while this is happening.

    And sometimes sex hurts, so I make sounds of distress because I am actually in distress, but it also feels very good. Usually, the hurt converts to good.

    And rarely, sex just hurts. So I end up making sounds of distress that become increasingly intense.

    As per the connection between rape and enjoying sex, there is a lot of material on this topic. Google "orgasm during rape". Fear and pain have triggered intense orgasms for me, and have pushed me uncontrollably (and surprisingly) over the edge. I try not to linger on the connection that you are making, because I find it disturbing enough to ruin the experience.

    • Excellent thoughts, youngmix. I guess I was just exploring the idea that, to men, the sounds women make during can be indistinguishable from distress. I think it has to do with women's higher vocal register. And why does that turn men on? It's not that they want women to feel any pain or negative emotions. But sounds do signal that she is being physically challenged and we love that. Whether she is grunting and moaning quietly, or crying out, the only certain way to know she is enjoying it is when she tells you by saying something like "Yes!" "Don't stop!" "Faster!" or "I'm going to cum!" I've read some things from anthropologists and psychiatrists that talks about possible evolutionary and other reasons for this. In the end, it's just one of the mysteries surrounding the idea of opposite gender attraction.

    • I find the effect that screaming and pain has on men to be very interesting. There are some people who definitely got turned on by the act of hurting me. One person was trying to cause pain during sex, and he was super aggressive. When I told him that it hurt, he would go harder. He was trying to make me scream in pain, and it was actually scary for me. I know that some guys cum almost instantly when I scream that I am cumming, especially if they are inexperienced. And I am just being honest, I have had sex with many inexperienced men, and many of them seem like they have to get used to the screaming, and the female orgasm in general. Especially if the orgasms occur during penetration sex. It seems disorienting for many guys who have not experienced this, but if we continue meeting up, I have noticed that they eventually become confident because of it. And I generally tell them to keep going. A lot of guys ask me if they were hurting me afterwords, and I just answer them honestly.

    • @youngmix. Interesting. And there is also that fact that some women make noise when they want the guy to hurry up and cum. They know that the sounds have a stimulating effect on guys. It must be the reason why (some) female porn starts make a lot of noise. It's a psychological thing.

  • I have no clue.. I used to be pretty quiet during sex lol

    Wasn't till hit my forties that I became more "vocal"...

    But thanks🙄, now that you pointed out it sounds more like in distress than sexy, I guess I'll just go back to being quiet 🤫 🤐🤣🤣

    • Noooooo! 🤣 I said that it IS sexy.

    • No worries.. It's Not like I have a sex life anyways🤣

  • I'm not a "screamer", I'm actually pretty quiet during sex, I carry on conversation, sometimes encouragement, sometimes just talking. Otherwise, just mostly those "normal" bodily sounds, lol.

    • I think the majority of women are quiet. Talk is great! I had one particular girlfriend who was orgasmic. She was quiet, too. Even when she came, it would just be a couple sharp intakes of breath and quivering. But she said the sexiest stuff during sex. Rather than making incomprehensible sounds, she TOLD me what she was thinking and feeling. And, yes, she boosted my ego, as well. :-)

    • Lol, sounds a lot like me!

  • I tend to cuss more when im about to cum haha. Then i let out a long moan and my voice gets all shakey. I hate when guys grunt. It scares me. If he's Growling and howling thats not too bad but i just rather hear him whimper or moan that he's about to cum.

    • My girl actually wishes I would make a little more noise when I have an orgasm. She has said that I am so quiet that she hardly knows I am about to cum! I do think my body signals are strong enough to give that away!

    • I like it when men make more noise or sounds too! it's not that its so hot or arousing in itself, it's more about the intimacy, seeing that's he's actually letting go and getting pleasure

    • @CA4444 That’s almost exactly what my gal says to me. ☺️ She wants me to feel comfortable enough with her when we are intimate that I am able to let go of my inhibitions and express my pleasure vocally. I do my best, but honestly, it just feels a bit “forced“ when I vocalize during an orgasm. I am just not a noisy guy! 😊 But I do it for her because I know she likes it. Normally, when I cum, I breathe heavy and sometimes moan softly, and that’s all. Either way the orgasm is still fantastic! ☺️

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  • The slapping of skin and the ouches you get from a spanking are pretty close to the noises of sex which could explain the link. Then again so does running in wet flip flops
    Men also find Women who have a higher pitched voice more attractive

    • Wet flip flops. 🤣 "Although very distinct emotions, facial expressions of those who are experiencing pain appear surprisingly similar to those who are experiencing heightened sexual pleasure," says Dr. Susan Hughes, assistant of psychology at Albright, and lead author of the study, "Sex Differences in the Assessment of Pain Versus Sexual Pleasure Facial Expressions." I think that's also the case with sounds people make. Sounds must be important because women sometimes make them deliberately in order to turn on their partners. There must also be a reason why some women in porn sound like they are getting murdered.

  • I assume that the sounds and noises that women make in the throes of passion are designed to encourage a man to finish his task with a flourish!

    • I think you're right. And it's an automatic response in the case of both parties.

  • Nice post thank you! I wasn't really aware of that, I thought the sounds i make would be self-explanatory and not sound like distress but I guess not necessarily... Also in some occasions there can be actual distress to be honest, but it's mixed with pleasure, and i have noticed men dont seem to 'hear' when it seems obvious to me or they know/understand and keep going anyway (until i actually say something) im not sure. Nice to hear about these fantasies because they are pretty common and, well, when a man comes to you and says he likes you and wants to rape you I mean its just very confusing (how can you like and want to hurt someone at the same time) and also scary, but i guess also just sex and primal instincts

  • Oh God this reminds of wayy back when I first started having sex. My husband was confused if I was in pain or feeling pleasure cuz my moans sounded like I was in pain😑 had to explain to him that I liked sex and didn't feel any pain... such a awkward conversation but I guess he was new to it and didn't understand that women sounded that way during sex

    • Great anecdote, Apple. Then you know what I'm talking about.

  • Sometimes I think my husband wants to laugh at me! So I try to keep quiet! lol But when it gets to that point, I can't stop and I scream and twitch like I'm having a seizure, and he says "R u ok?" I mean.. yea fucker I just came, can't u feel it all on ur fingers? So y would a guy find it entertaining that a woman likes how he's touching her? Cuz that's not cool anymore..

    • Oh man. It's too bad that he makes you feel self conscious. I do have to say that it can be amusingly charming or amazing when a women has an intense orgasm. It's just the most awesome thing in the world. I've had women laugh at themselves at the end of an orgasm, like they are going "Holy shit, WTF?" There's a girl named Amadani who makes porn clips with her boyfriend. She has the most intense, repeated, bucking, quivering orgasms. You can tell it amuses her boyfriend. So laughing doesn't necessarily mean mockery. It's more like "Holy crap!" and admiration. But yeah, not cool if it makes you self conscious. You're supposed to lose yourself in the sensations, and not be worrying how you look. Believe me, you look charming.

    • Yea he makes me embarrassed sometimes b/c he's so quiet and yea, he makes a little noise while I'm suckin his dick, but it's nothing exciting to me lol. But then he keeps touching me and I'm older now so my orgasms are far better and longer than when I was a little 20 something yr old. He can keep touching me after I cum and I could cum again and again and all that shit they say about a female squirting is indeed true. But.. I feel like he thinks I'm weird or something. He's 45. We've been married almost 9 years and his sexual desire has flopped after he turned 40. Maybe he's self conscious?

    • Hmmm. Yes. I see what you're saying.

  • Lol when I first started watching porn as a little kid the women’s screams made me think they were getting tortured and in severe pain

    • Right? There must be a reason why they do that in porn. I guess it turns guys on.

  • I don't know what sex is with a man.. team celibate shrugs 🤷🏽‍♀️ Maybe one day

  • Bold topic of selection, Lisa.

    • I've read anthropological and psychiatric thoughts on the subject. I thought it would be interesting to explore. I don't think I explained it very well in the MyTake, though.

    • There's a limitation to the my takes here, I guess. One needs to keep their tone and language easy to understand.

    • But I think you speak for all of your womankind! Cheers, Lisa.

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  • Bro maybe you just ain't moaning right 🖖

    If all parties don't sound like they're getting the fucking snot beat out of them on a polished concrete floor, is it even sex? 👁

  • Yeah, I think most people would generally agree with that.

  • my wife grunts... it's pretty clear.

    no distress.

  • I'm pretty sure you can tell the difference.

  • Holy shit I can only see three comments at the moment of me posting this out of six because of how many people have personally censored me.

    Unreal.. anywaaaays I personally don't understand because I prefer to be gentle and nurturing rather than in control and dominant. I know subs love it but I always feel a little guilty in a way and prefer to be sweet and show them the depths of my compassion and just how gentle my touches can be.. ahh makes me smile just thinking about it :)

    • I am unsure as to why those sounds are similar. Groans of pleasure and pain are similar and I am unsure why, maybe an evolutionary biologist could explain?

    • I've read articles on the subject but I was hoping to get other perspectives.

  • My girlfriend screams, but I've heard her scream in other situations and it's entirely different. Also she's only thrown back her head with her eyes rolling up during sex.

  • When my child was young and I was orgasming she came to our door and was concerned because she thought I was getting hurt. So I guess I might sound like I’m in distress.
    I’ve always had people living with my husband and me so I don’t feel like I can truly relax when my husband is pleasing me, so I try to be quiet but when we’re at a hotel I let it all hang out, I curse, scream (mildly) and ask for more. I want to be able to let my pleasure explode loudly, hope to have an empty house within a year or so, and then watch out, we are hot to trot.

    • Neighbor, "Call 911, it sounds like Mrs. Bex is being murdered!" Neighbor's wife, "Don't worry, dear. Her husband is just home."

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