Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I feel like I should share this, now that I have finally made peace with myself. Fair Warning: this is not a happy story. It took me years to overcome the pain of this.
It was a crisp autumn night. A friend of mine invited me to a college party, my first one. I got myself together, and headed to the party. It was a good sized crowd by the time I got there, and my friend was already 4 beers in. I have a tough time socializing, and this was way out of my comfort zone.
So I just stood around. I got a drink, some cheap beer, and sat on a vacant couch. Naturally, it wasn't long before a couple joined me on the couch as they held a make out session. I was uncomfortable at the time, so I got up, and walked outside.
These two girls came up to me, told me I was hot and flirted with me. They asked me if I wanted to have a threesome. I was super shy, and I wanted to save myself at least for a girlfriend, so I said, "No."
They huffed at me, and walked inside. I hung outside a while longer, enjoying the autumn air and sipping on my beer.
I woke up on a mattress, my hands were tied above my head and my feet tied to the posts. My body was naked, except for the pair of panties put on me. I was gagged with my own underwear. The two girls from before hovered over me. "Hi there, handsome," they said, almost with a maniacal tone to it, "make a sound and we are gonna hurt you a lot."
One of them held a hair iron in her hand, dangerously close to my testicles. I looked up in panic, I did not want them, but I did not want what they would do to me otherwise. They made me do disgusting things. Sodomized me with rough, dry objects. Tears flowed from my face to the mattress the entire time.
It seemed like an eternity before they were done. Finally, they stopped, untied me, and said, "If you tell a soul, we will show the world for what you are: a sissy bitch."
I walked out of there with just my jeans on, in 40 degree weather. I was 3 miles from where the party was, and as I walked, I openly sobbed. I got to my car, drove home where I lived alone, and turned on the shower, and stayed in, even past the point where it was warm.
I skipped work the next day, but the day after, I went in, cold as ice. I alienated my friends, and eventually my family, until I was all alone.
It took me a long time to recover from that. I still shiver at the thought of those women, but I refuse to let them take anything more from me.
So as I lay my son down to sleep, and kiss my beautiful wife goodnight, I take a deep breath, and as I go to sleep to face the nightmares, I tell myself, "You'll be alright, you'll be ok." I steel myself, and press forward into my sleep to meet my terrors head on.
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