The Trans Debate: Why Wearing a Dress Will Never Make You a Woman

The Trans Debate: Why wearing a dress will never make you a woman

I’d like to start by saying I am a woman. I was born a woman and I continue to identify as a woman. In this respect I’ve been rather fortunate that it’s been that simple. I’ve never had doubts about my gender being right for me and although I may have had doubts about my sexuality during some time in my life I am, on the whole, a pretty average heterosexual woman.

I’d also like to say that I don’t hold any prejudice against those who feel they identify with a different gender to the what their body suggests. I have no animosity, no negative thoughts, no fear of men wearing dresses and sneaking into bathrooms to touch kids….none of that. I think people should be free to do what makes them happy for the most part so my Take today is not trying to judge or shame those who feel an internal conflict or to deny they feel more of a connection with the opposing gender, it is simply to explain my view as to why trans women are not women… and why that’s Ok.

First off let’s get the terminology straight: a trans woman is a person who has been born with the physiology of a man but feels they should have been born a woman, and vice versa for a trans man. In this take I will be talking mainly about trans women as I am a woman and I feel I can speak more accurately about this side of the subject than the other.

Many people will argue that people who were born men and feel they should have been women can become women with enough superficial help. Growing longer hair, wearing women’s clothes, sometimes even taking hormones to grow breasts and in the most extreme cases – having gender reassignment surgery, but for me none of this makes you a woman. Sure, it makes you look like a woman but the fact still remains they were born a man. They were brought into this world as a man and were seen as a man for most of their life. Dressing and looking like a woman makes you as much of a woman as wrapping yourself in tin foil and saying ‘’beep’ makes you a robot. You may look like a robot, sound like a robot and feel that you are a robot – but you aren’t a robot and you will never be.

The Trans Debate: Why Wearing a Dress Will Never Make You a Woman

The whole issue of transgender has come into the spotlight in the last few years due to people like Bruce Jenner being so public about their changes. I think having the courage to do what makes you happy is a great thing but it has raised a lot of debate about what makes a woman a woman and a man a man. When asked what makes a woman a woman many people will list of physical features; breasts, genitals, a womb….of course all of these things are typical of the female physiology but NOT having them doesn’t make you any less of a woman. In my eyes women have two X chromosomes and men have XY chromosomes. That’s the difference when you get down to it. Which sperm fertilised the egg that became you, the X or the Y.

The Trans Debate: Why Wearing a Dress Will Never Make You a Woman

There are of course debates about what gender is. Is it a physical state or is it a mental state and a lot of this has to do with how we think people are brought up and the gender roles enforced on them from society, so there is a lot to think about in the whole trans-debate and a lot of discussion about how things are perceived. I'm not going to go into the debate over gender and whether it is something which occurs naturally or if it is socially imposed because that really is a whole debate in itself.

My personal thoughts on the matter are that trans women need to accept the fact they are not women and they won’t ever be. They haven’t been brought up as a woman, they haven’t experienced the world from the perspective of a woman for most of their lives because they were born men and have been seen and treated by society as men. They will never know what it’s like to go through puberty as a young woman, to experience your first period, to experience losing your virginity, to worry about pregnancy every time you’re a day late and countless other things that women and girls experience as part of growing up as a biological female.

Now before people start jumping down my throat about ‘What makes a woman’ I am in no way trying to say that women who don’t go through all the normal things are not as much a woman as me, that isn’t my point at all. Trans women can’t have children naturally but that doesn’t mean women who cannot have children are less womanly than those that can. What I’m saying is that trans women are just that – Trans-Women, not Women….and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with there being a grey zone.

There’s nothing wrong with having a new section to what we call gender, but they do not class as women and to try and push them into that mould is wrong and will only cause issue. Do you remember the white woman who identified as a black woman? It’s the same principle. She felt inside that she was a woman of African descent….. but no amount of tanning, perming and make up will ever make her black. She just isn’t black no matter what she feels, and the same goes for men who want to be women.

The Trans Debate: Why Wearing a Dress Will Never Make You a Woman

There have been a few things in the news recently where people have been attacked for having this view and I think that’s wrong. Germaine Greer has been the centre of a lot of this since making some rather blunt remarks about her views on the matter, as has Richard O’Brien – a man who himself has had gender issues but who agrees that a trans woman is not a woman.

I’ve asked my doctor to give me long ears and liver spots and I’m going to wear a brown coat but that doesn’t turn me into a f***ing cocker spaniel.”

Germaine Greer (https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2015/12/19/germaine-greer-on-trans-women-i-could-call-myself-a-cocker-spaniel/)

The Trans Debate: Why Wearing a Dress Will Never Make You a Woman

“The 73-year-old has previously spoken about his own fluid gender identity, labelling himself the “third sex” and explaining “I believe myself probably to be about 70% male, 30% female”, adding he “ticks the ‘M’ box” for gender but “would quite like to have Other to tick.”

You can’t be a woman. You can be an idea of a woman.”

Richard O’Brien (https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2016/03/08/rocky-horror-star-richard-obrien-trans-women-cant-be-women/)

And what’s so wrong about that? What I find saddening is that any comment that isn’t supportive of trans women being accepted as woman is seen as ‘Speaking out against’ or being ‘anti-trans’ when a lot of the time this isn’t the case, it’s just a different view on the matter. The fact I don’t accept trans women as "real" women like myself doesn’t mean I am against them.

It doesn’t mean I am dismissing their feelings or want them to be treated differently from me, it means that I have an objection to someone claiming to be something they are not and insisting everyone agree with them under the guise of political correctness.You can walk like a girl, talk like a girl, feel more comfortable as a girl but you will never be a real girl….and that’s OK.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You hit on a very real and specific point that I would like to chime in on and that is the labels that are put on those that choose not to approve or accept trans in their chosen identity as what they identify as. As you stated those who reject the notion that a guy is now a girl just because he says so are labeled ( let's just say it ) Homophobic , or a multitude of other crass hateful names. I say be what you want to be but keep your name calling to your self and accept that not everyone accepts your identity. I am 50 dang years old and grew up knowing women were women and men were men. So in the last few years there is this out pouring of people that wish to be other than that they were born into , good for them ; I won't polite my raising to appease it in any way. Political correctness be damned

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been living as woman since I was 14. I'm 19 atm. My entire life, sInce I was a child (3 years old) I have always felt like a girl. I have always felt like god or whatever had put me in a male body to punish me. I'd give anything to be Cis. My entire childhood was a nightmare. I could never understand why my cousins (females) were able to act and dress the way they did whilst I had to dress like a boy. The feeling of being Transgender is perhaps the most unique and probably horrible experience I have ever had to experience. It would be like you waking up tommorow with a penis and still feeling like the person you currently are and being forced to be someone you are not whilst millions scream for you blood.

    • I can imagine it is an incredibly difficult thing to go through and accept and I think people are incredibly brave for having the balls to go ahead and try and be true to themselves (pun fully intended :) )

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 5
  • You write very well and your arguments are air tight. And as you might guess I agree with you. Well done!

  • Hopefully one day there will be enough medical advancements for transwomen so that they can have a uterus and have a baby

    • This will never happen.

    • Where exactly do you think they would get a uterus? I've already heard of talks to experiment with uterine transplants. I shudder at the thought, we don't even do that for women now.

  • If you want to identify as the opposit gender im fine with that
    Only time it becomes a problem is if you're born a man and want to compete as a woman
    or if you want to use the bathroom of the gender you're identifying yourself with and other people aren't ok with that (i personally dont care but i know people do)
    Also you gotta make it clear from the start, dont lead people on thats not right and can prob be dangerous when some dude gets mad and starts a fight because of it

  • I'm a trans girl, I've been living several years as a woman, two of those post op. It's been the most traumatic and happiest time of my life. I feel like a woman. I've always felt like a woman, even though I've had to pretend not to for most of my life.
    Now I fully accept that I'll never be as female as someone born like that. Although I've been passing successfully for some time now I'm very careful about who I tell. I have a number of close friends, men and women, who accept me as female.

    • You are a trans women. That is fine and you deserve happiness. However, you will never be a women not have a female body. You just don't have a penis anymore but never will have a vagina. An inverted surgically changed penis is not a vagina.

    • I agree with Oxy that you will never really be a women. Count yourself lucky as you won't have to go through periods or menopause. But I'm glad your treatment is helping you feel better. If you are happy passing as a woman I wish you all success.

  • gender is a biological concept. you can see it in other animals, not just humans.

  • I just enjoy wearing dresses and feeling feminine sometimes. I'm not trying to be anything but myself.

  • some girls have XY chromosome and vice-versa. this argument is dumb.

    • It's a small percentage that have chromosomal conditions. Genotype is also only a portion of the argument as phenotypical expression from birth is what the vast majority of women present. It's logical to go with observations of the vast majority rather than pointing out a small number of cases that are the exception rather than the overarching pattern. There are very rarely things in nature that are 100% one way or another. We go based on predictable patterns.

  • I'm a trans woman. I've always been a woman on the inside. Even when the world couldn't see it. Being a woman is about more than experiences or biology. It's about more than clothes or makeup. It's an in intangible feeling deep down, at the core of your being. People who have never questioned their gender identity can never understand.

    If you met me on the street you would automatically assume I was a "real woman". I'm not even very feminine. I rarely wear a dress or makeup. I know most people have a certain image of trans women as being uber feminine. We are just as diverse as cis women. There are even butch lesbian trans women. I don't understand why when people learn that we were born male. We immediately lose our genuineness as women. When a moment before there was no doubt of our genuineness. Just because your perception of us changed doesn't mean we've changed.

    • In short, I don't need a dress to make me a woman.

    • But you are not a woman, you're a trans woman... I don't see any issue with you being a trans woman and I hold absolutely no animosity toward trans women... but you aren't a woman. I'm a woman.

    • I am a woman that is transgender. I'm often overly apologetic, but I will not apologise about my identity.

    • Show All
  • You are 100% correct. And I am also not against trans people. But you are 100% right with everything you wrote.

    P. S. I know a trans woman who often slept with prostitutes before transitioning. Now she lives as a woman herself. I find this sick.