Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Apologies for the title, I don't actually specify the value of my virginity in this take, instead I'm talking about my experiences and how I've justified it.
Now, let's get right into this.
Disclaimers can get annoying, so I'll try to keep this short: This is written from my own personal perspective and is based upon my own values and beliefs. I don't expect everyone to agree, but I would like for you to be respectful of this, as I will be of you.
Ahh, the age old topic of virginity. It's brought up here on G@G so frequently that I'm surprised it doesn't have its own topic (along with a few other popular questions about boob size and dick size).
I was raised in a household with fairly conservitive parents (who do have their liberal moments, mind you) but when it came to virginity, it was always instilled in me to:
a) only have sex with someone you love and care about deeply
b) it was implied that it should only happen within a relationship
c) only do what you're comfortable with
d) and always use a condom
I thought this was fair, and I didn't have any qualms against these terms.
However, recently I'd been questioning the importance of sex and the value I placed on my virginity. I came to a few conclusions, one of these being that I'd never seen it as something particularly special, and that I didn't really understand how it could be special. I also knew that while I respected my parent's views, ultimately it was a personal choice that was up to me to decide for. This also brought up another key topic for me to give some thought to, about whether I choose to subscribe to my parents values or not, which is something I'm only beginning to explore.
In prep for this take, and also as a way of trying to better understand why other people do or don't place value on virginity, I asked a question about it.
Check it out here: Why is/isn't virginity so important to you?
Even though I'd been giving this some thought (as I tend to do with most things, I'm an overthinker) I didn't think it was really relevant to me, there were no boys on 'the tune', I wasn't dating anyone, let alone even interested in someone (in my own country, may I add).
But things have changed recently for me, (hence why I'm writing this, duh) so don't give up yet, here's the actual story of what went down, not that the details are relevant, but it gives you an honest picture as to what happened.
What Went Down
Myself and 6 other school mates had been invited to the 18th Birthday party of a mutual friend who goes to another school. None of us knew anyone else at the party, so for the first hour or so, we stood in an awkward circle as we took in our surroundings. Eventually, we started to talk to a few other party goers, and after I had had a few ciders, I was in full swing. [By that, I mean I was back to being bubbly and loud, and that I had shaken off that little bit of social anxiety].
I started talking and having 'good banter' with a really awesome guy, we spend an hour or so having light conversation with other people and then eventually just us two, until he asked me if I wanted to see the downstairs of the house, as he's the best mate of the guy holding the party. Eventually we moved to a bedroom, all the important questions were asked and he was a gentleman, but I'll leave it at that because I don't kiss and tell.
My quick mental checklist I did looked something like this:
* do I feel comfortable with him?
* do I believe he will be respectful and a gentleman about it all?
* do I have a form of contraception? (condom, the pill etc)
* and lastly but most importantly, do I want to do this?
One thing I will mention, neither of us were dead sober, we were a tad tipsy, but I don't believe it really had much of an impact on the circumstances, and it wouldn't have changed either of our decisions.
I did do a really good job at becoming '*that* girl who lost her virginity to some guy at a party', lmao.
The Aftermath
The biggest concern for me, in the 48h after it, was that my friends would judge me, and that news would spread at my own school of what had happened.
However my friends were, and are still extremely supportive and have gone above and beyond expecatations, so no complaints there at all. They're the only ones that know what happened and I trust them, so I do not believe it will become common knowledge at school.
Do I regret it?
I've had people ask me this a few times, in fact this was one of the major concerns from some of my closer friends. Ultimately at this stage, I don't regret it though, because it wasn't an unpleasant experience, and I am still the same person, it hasn't changed me. One act does not define me as a person, nor will I let it.
What have I learnt?
It's still relatively taboo in the sense that some people still find it a very big deal, and obviously this won't change, nor do I expect it to, but next time, I'd like to be more cautious of the when and where, because in all honesty, a party full of nosy teenagers, half of whom have no idea about sex themselves, was not the ideal location for me.
It's also important to distinguish the difference between losing my virginity, and having casual sex. While I don't regret my previous choice, I don't know if casual sex is for me, simply because I don't want to take the risk of STI's or developing an emotions for someone as a result, and I believe it can be more fun to explore and try new things with someone I know well and feel extremely comfortable and safe with.
The most important thing, at least in my mind, is that I didn't give into peer pressure of any sort, I was 100% comfortable with what I was doing at the time, and I think that's also what a few people in my life are struggling to accept right now. In their words, they didn't think 'I was capable of doing this sort of thing'. But people can think and say what they like, and if this is the consequence of my actions, then so be it.
Anyways, this is mostly my thoughts put into writing, but hopefully I sort of got my point or POV across and it made sense.
My attitude to this topic may very well be too blaze for some, but I am honestly interested in what all of you think, as long as it's kept respectful. Thanks for reading!
What Girls & Guys Said
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ahh I love Jane the virign :')
welcome in the "I threw my virginity out of the window and don't really care"-club!
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(actually the first days after I did it I regretted it a bit but that quickly went away so whatever)
Why did you regret it?
@RainbowFanGirl check PM
You lost your virqinity? IT'S other the apocalypse or gay sex 😂😂😂😂😂 what happened?
@Omar5881 12 years late mate lol
haha good for you aside from the regret part
That was just for a few days lol so whatever
Virginity is a completely human concept. It's what you choose to believe it is that makes it what it is to you
Sounds like you had an awesome time.
Haha you bet
the value isn't your V card
the value is you
Omg I thought I was the only one here that wasn't a virgin at this age lol but tbh I regret it... I used to be a stupid kid. I had sex every other weekend and I felt dirty by the end. I was 15 (barely) and I didn't know what I was doing. Now I'm here... mature and doing something with my life. So don't judge me I'm not the same person anymore.
I respect you and your decision. But just don't let it become a usual thing please or it'll fuck you up in the inside. I'm telling u from experience, be smart! 💜
Thanks Batman <3 No judgement here, besides that'd be a tad hypocritical wouldn't it? Nah I don't think it will... although I'm actually dating the guy I lost it to... he pursued a relationship.
Hey as long as you're in a commited relationship :) even then be careful. You're growing so fast 😢😂
hahah calm down there mum :P I'll be careful, don't you worry!
The only thing I was and still am thinking is was it missionary or doggy 😂 LOL
Jokes apart
I think people shouldn't judge a girl/guy cause of their past or virginity and other shit
lmao it was missionary, but then we spiced it up with 69 position lol yeah totally agree with you
Oh I see 😂
so its that typical 'i was waiting for mr right after rejecting 100s of guys, but finally i just fucked the hot guy in a party'
Not really how I see it but whatever.
its exactly like that, but u want to see it different, u want different answer. and you opened topic here to get confirmation.
I don't know how valid your perspective is tbh because you don't know me... I haven't rejected 100s of guys, and the opportunity to have sex has never come up before either. And ironically the 'hot guy at the party' is my boyfriend now.
u mean FF?
um, no actually
@realityphil I agree with you. Luci knows this is true, and Luci knows that she has made a bad decision and let herself down, but she is refusing to face it. I can tell by how defensive and aggressive she becomes when someone mentions it.
@Bbboorriinnngggg lmao girl yr so wrong
You keep on telling yourself that, it doesn't change reality :)
@Bbboorriinnngggg I never stop being amazed how much in denial women can be.
You're parents instilled some good values about sex and virginity.
Only you know when you're absolutely ready for it.
If you liked it and the guy was treating you right then that's good.
I don't think your friends would go off telling everyone about you having sex , but if your parents were to find out then that's something you would need to be ok with.
Bottom line , if you're happy with giving it up to that guy then that's all that matters.
Very true.
I would say that as advice I would mirror your parents values. That is really the advice that I have given younger friends and family. Even though my views changed as I got older. I would say you are spot on
It's just a pussy, it is made for pounding.
when non-virgins think they matter o. O
wait, what? non virgins don't matter? NO WAY?