The Virgin and the Whore

Jackie Kennedy and her Husband JFK / Marilyn Moneroe and (alledgedly) JFK having an affair
Jackie Kennedy and her Husband JFK / Marilyn Moneroe and (alledgedly) JFK having an affair

The virgin and the whore dichotomy is a tale as old as times. Well not really. It's a social construct that came with the invention of "marriage" and exclusive relationships that only came around the time religions came. Before that, relationships worked in a very different way. Polygamy was accepted and the lack of rules and morals, which are also social constructs, was very obvious.
In the different religious books, they also speak of countries where lust reigned such as Sodom & Gomorra.

The Romans in their Decadence by Thomas Couture
The Romans in their Decadence by Thomas Couture

The whole idea that pleasure had to be contained came with religion and polygamy being accepted became rarer with religion as well.
And then, men got married with women, they had kids. Had to have the picture perfect family. No matter the religion.

When polygamy was a thing, the most common way it worked was : Men impregnated the women that we wanted and had to provide food for the women and his babies with her. A women could be impregnated by several men but they also had to provide for their babies with her.

With the "perfect family", things got different : The husband provided financial ressources (also a new thing since previous societies provided thanks to hunting) and the woman kept the house clean and tidy and took care of the kids. (The peak of that model was probably the 70s)

The draper family (Mad men)
The draper family (Mad men)

Religion, entertainment... everything pushed us towards that idea of finding a wife/husband and building a perfect family.
Only while woman saw all men, as Long as they had resources as an eligible bachelor. Men needed a "good girl", that could make a good mother and could clean the house well. They were looking for a beautiful fertile woman who would be a good housewife.

Because of that the main thing they were looking for weren't necessarily the "sparks" or the "sexual attraction" but it was really about the housewife qualities and the reputation.

But they still had their sexual needs and the "perfect marriage" often hid a very sad sex life. Which is when the mistress came in the picture. (This model existed way before the 70s, it started with religions but it did peak at the 70s)

Marilyn Monroe singing happy birthday to JFK
Marilyn Monroe singing happy birthday to JFK

So the husband has his trophy, loving, picture perfect wife and his sultry, sexy mistress.

With times evolving and religion actually becoming less and less respected and with a push from Hollywood, came the idea of finding your "one true love".

Most people now look for the person that completes them and don't care as much for the "good wife" and "good provider" aspects of things.

The rom-com/Disney princess movie culture pushed us towards the research of something rare, special and beautiful.

The lady and the Tramp
The lady and the Tramp

Yet, with some exceptions such as Pretty Woman (and the "bad girl" still becomes good in the movie), there's still that "the virgin and the whore" thing.

Guys see themselves dating or marrying a good girl, that would make a good wife and they see girls they think of as desirable and who embrace their sexiness as one night stands, or "side chicks".

And as a result they pick girls who are pretty, conservative, sweet, delicate and very feminine.

Pewdiepie & his girlfriend Marzia.
Pewdiepie & his girlfriend Marzia.

What men don't know is that women actually fake being that way because they fear being sexualised (not saying marzia does but I mean, her voice ? wtf?).
A good example of that is Nathalie Portman, she's the ultimate good girl. She's smart, beautiful, talented and VERY conservative for a woman in Hollywood. Ever wondered why or did you just think it's because she's really like that ?
Well in a speech she said she felt the need to be conservative because as a kid she played the infamous "Mathilda" role in the quite iconic "Leon" movie and she received fan mails from older men sexualising her while she was around 13.

So the reason why the good girls try to appear as far away from "slutty" as possible is because of the pressure you put on us because we want to be respected.

The Virgin and the Whore

I can understand that the "putting girls in two categories" thing is part of your ideology that's a results of years and years of conditioning BUT if we're going to be realistic, you're may end up very sad.

The only reason why those two extremes exist at the first place is because they are all around us in TV, movies, books, culture ....

If men were fine about us being sexual beings while still being nice girls, the world will be much a much better place. You would get good girls who are still freaky and won't need a mistress.

The Virgin and the Whore

I know men are more and more open to the not "perfect partner" girls (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, Donald and Melanie Trump...) but the fantasy still exists, I saw guys in this website and in real life talking about it.

That fantasy that you'll meet an angelic pure girl and that your sexual nature won't show up is delusional and unrealistic. (Don't deny that you have it, I've seen guys get disappointed when the girl of their dreams posts a bikini pic on social media)

Why can't a girl be both sexy and good ? Both parts of the relationship will benefit from that.

The Virgin and the Whore
4 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't judge. Everybody has a certain point of time of their life when they want what they want. I'm currently talking to somebody who is definitely a grown woman. She handles her business and is willing to go down and out for me while she expresses her other side and I would never put any woman down for satisfying whoever she's with. Sex will never be boring and I'm glad she's good with herself like that. A lot of my ex's have not been and being insecure is not a healthy trait for yourself.

    • Now that's a golden mentality right there, I respect your way of thinking so much and wish you happiness with that person !

  • if this was happened to be a speech in real life i would willingly enter the debate to put questions, and try to figure it out collectively and without biasis. its like a very good articulated openning. really good mytake!

    • Thank you so much ! It means a lot to me that you think it's good !

    • mp, but i was simply honest ☺️

Most Helpful Girls

  • Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets. She doesn’t need to be freak on the streets and in the sheets, too. She doesn’t have to be sexual outwardly, just towards her partner. That’s a way to be sexy and good. She doesn’t need to get naked for the gram, she doesn’t need to be overtly sexual to be sexy. Now be quiet and stop trying to be a victim.

    • That was exactly the whole point of the MyTake. Last sentence is literally "Why can't a girl be both sexy and good". I do not mean that a woman should sleep around or whatever just completely suppress her sexuality.

    • THANK YOU!! THIS COMPLETELY!

  • I think i'm in love with you. This needed to be said. I'm happy though that these days I think men are a lot more open to the dual sided nature of women in general. I'm lucky because my boyfriend likes how free, sensual and creative I am whilst being a stable presence.

    • I'm so happy that you understand what I meant and related with it. And I'm so glad that they are more open to it as well. I wish you a lot of happiness with him !

    • 😘😘😘

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

12 14
  • I'll just weigh in super quick:

    I don't judge people for their sexual past. I applaud and support anyone who is confident and assertive enough to pursue their own desires and their own happiness. I do not engage in slut shaming and I try my best to discourage it in others.

  • a female is only a whore if she doesn't do to you what she will do for another person, or she doesn't do what another female thinks she should do,
    example a male will see a nice female, make a play for her and if she turns him down she is a whore, if she accepts what he offers she very friendly until he gets what he wants,
    take an older woman, back in the mid 20th century if she went into a bar according to most women she was a whore but if she did it now she would be alright

  • Marriage and the nuclear family is way older than christianity. "Religion" of some sort is as old as mankind. The whore/madonna dichotomy is in itself medieval, but some ideas along these lines existed even in ancient Greece and Rome, that is before christianity.

    • They surely existed but weren't the predominant ideology. Plus I didn't say christianity, I said religion but I meant religions with a different set of rules/morals then the ones of prehistoric times. And in Ancient Greece and Rome there were gods worshiped that set morals as well so there were religions.

    • Religion has existed as long as mankind. Marriage existed in ancient Egypt. And they were indeed thew predominant "ideology".

  • Wow you've done your research

    • Well I tried to.. thanks !

  • I like the images you chose and the overall MyTake but I do think that it is changing a lot

    • I think so too but trust me, it's not changing as much as you would think !

  • Wow, great take! That's actually exactly what I was subconsciously wondering and why I refuse to be a good girl anymore. I'd rather be wanted by guys than to continue being that cliche wife material. I'd rather be sexy, an artist, an adventurer and a deep thinker, you know, just being human really.

    Waiting around for guys to come down from their sex spree in their late twenties while I've had the most boring conservative life is making me feel nauseous. Unfortunately though, up until this year it looked like I was bound to be that good girl even though I was envying all the sexually liberated girls. So I'm not gonna play this game but I'll aspire to be the best of all worlds that make me me. You can be a good person and do volunteering with all your heart but you can also be a sexy vixen going to clubs and hooking up with guys.

    Thank you for putting my thoughts in words!

    • *into

    • That being said, I actually have the perfect example : Earlier this year while I was still a virgin, I made out with a hot guy in the club, and upon learning that I was a virgin he was like You're great and your wife material but I'm not ready to get married yet. And with that, he dumped me. Even though I've told him I'm not planning on staying a virgin for any longer and that it doesn't say anything about me. If guys like women who have sex with them, why don't they just also fall in love and marry one of them? Especially since the conservative women are actual sexual beings too, why hide it?

  • Calling a woman a whore is haram. It's against my religion.

  • very well said darling

  • Guys only have a problem with their girlfriend being sexy around everyone. if she's only sexy inside the house they don't have a problem with it...

    • why would you want to be sexy around everyone? not everyones your boyfriend

    • @lacorine197 I don't understand your question. Where did you read I wanted to be sexy around everyone? I never dress sexy, I don't like it and it make me uncomfortable.

  • Most couples are and have been to busy toiling away making ends meet to worry about such high minded socoal constructs as the virgin and the whore.
    The reason men judge women differently when it comes to marraige and sex is just common sense as marraige is supposed to be for life and bad judgement can cost a man dearly. I mean the whore can satisfy a sexual need but the good girl can do that and satisfy every other need. Women have their own preferences in these matters too.

    • Why would it be bad judgment to marry a sexually experienced woman?

    • @Rissa95 the soda can rule.

    • So what if he's sexually experienced, he's not wholesome anymore either, so what does it matter? Also, she's more likely better at sex than a virgin would be. Plus, she's had casual fun so nothing there to regret not having done once she settles down, no? Once she's settled down she might regret not having been with more men.

    • Show All
  • have you been watching "realsocialdynamics"? xD

    • No I haven't haha, but should I?

    • actually it's a youtube channel that teaches guys how to speak to girls and there's an episode where they talk about "well if you adress the madonna (or the holy virgin) in a girl, don't be surprised you're not gonna score with her xD you gotta adress the whore. all girls have both in them. they just tip to one side depending on how you talk to them. i found lots of what you said sounded super similar to what they said ^^

    • Well it does sound like I should check it out, it seems quite interesting ! I

    • Show All
  • portman is a feminist nut job.

    • When someone tells you they want to fuck you at 13, we'll discuss that.

    • www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...s-SPARED-jail-deaf.html
      These two sexually abused a boy for ten years. But I guess its okay with you because they are female.

  • Seeing pewds and Marzia in this made my day

    • They are so cute together haha

  • Very well written. Be sexy and good.

    • Oh, thank you ! And amen !

  • Okay, document your claim that there was a time when humans had "no rules or morals". Show the scientific evidence. Otherwise your mouth-farts are no more worthwhile than the people who run around bleating about how the Sky Fairy will punish us all for doing whatever.

  • Why should we go with "whores" (to use your word)?
    What is, for us, the benefit of going with a girl who has a legion of lovers?

    Sorry, but someone who has multiples partners isn't a sign of stability. If she can't stop at one now, how could I know that I'd be enough for her, and that she won't see other men while being with me?

    • Once again "whore" is the term used in the "Madonna-whore complex", look it up, it's psychology. It's much more complex than having multiple partners, it's the whole mindset of suppressing the sexual side. Imagine a married woman who has sex the same way they do in "The handmaid's tale" because for her the sole purpose of sex is to procreate or to please her husband and she does not enjoy it at all. The reason why several women act somewhat similar to that it because their whole life they saw men saying "oh she likes sex she's a slut". It's an extreme example but it's very representative of the idea of repressing the natural sexual desires because of years of conditioning. I said that we should embrace both the sexual side and the good girl side. Be faithful to your man and still enjoy yourself with him in bed.

    • I think your hiding something, say what you want to say or don't bother commenting. This comment you just written is being hidden obviously for a higher agenda.

    • @lacorine197 You're being paranoid. My point was just that women should be able to be both good girls and sexy at the same time without fearing to lose respect from her SO.

    • Show All
  • A woman can be both at the same time, having a loyal sexy wife will mean both

  • Well homestly speaking it is better to be a virgin than a whore
    , but whores are in these days more than never. Being a good woman is no longer in fashion but imagine your mum being a whore? Not a pretty sight, right?

    • you do know that's not the point? The point is women get pigeonholed and their own sexuality completely denied because of how men view them, in attempts to use them for their own ends. Oh and yeah my mum is the whore, she's wonderful and fabulous, thank you very much

    • Yeah you didn't understand the point of the MyTake and just for the record I used the term "whore" because it's what's used in psychology as far as the "Madonna-whore complex" goes, I do not think any of the women are whores. If anything "whore" is a term made up by MEN to degrade women when they behave like men do. We all have both sides only we sometimes choose to suppress a sidee because of our ideologies.

    • Right? I don't understand why they want to force their way of life on pepple, you want to have a bunch of sex and still be able to have a husband that's you. As for us other people, we don't rule sex as just anythng. It's sacred.

  • Jackie Kennedy wasn't a virgin, not even when JFK met her. She had her own affairs and even married one of those affairs. She also had affairs with Bobby Kennedy and Ted The lady killer Kennedy.
    JFK was brow beaten into marrying her by his father and Jackie married him because he came from a wealthy family and was powerful. She still married him after he slept with her sister, her sister left the door open so Jackie could hear.

    The Virgin and the WhoreThe Virgin and the Whore
  • ya can be both. a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets is what we want.

  • Show More (6)