Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I am a bisexual guy who around this time last year, began dating men or more accurately, hooking up with men and my experiences taught me SO much about women and helped me have more empathy for the opposite sex. I have always had these bisexual feelings but never acted on them until last year.
Two things changed. I was single and just out of a LTR and I got a job that required relocating to a new city every few months. I decided that this was the time to find out what guys were like. Full disclaimer, I wasn’t really looking to date guys, I never really felt romantically that way for a guy. I was open to it but it just never happened and I just never felt the urge. So I basically started looking for hookups. I also quickly realized that I did not like the gay scene, either in bars or with OLD (Online Dating). I was open to it, it just wasn’t working out. Maybe it was too much radical change, too fast. This was a whole community and a whole lifestyle I guess, that I knew nothing about and honestly many were not that accepting of bisexuals!
I realized that I pretty much prefer sex with guys in the “female” role I guess, receiving, not pitching so I was actually able to hook up with guys who considered themselves straight but would fuck a guy on occasion, if they were horny and it wasn’t reciprocal. This was the majority of my experiences. So.. as such, I was hooking up with many of the same guys that women hook up with or date and I learned a lot about women and what they experience that was very, eye-opening to me! It helped me understand and empathize with them and I HOPE it makes me a better boyfriend or husband in the future!
First observation. It is REALLY a vulnerable feeling to be on the receiving end of sex! I had strap-on sex with a girlfriend before but she was about 5’2, petite and was very tentative and cautious. A real penis with a real guy attached, who is in many cases bigger and stronger is a whole different world! I never really associated intimidation and even fear with sex before. I’m placing myself in this very vulnerable position, mentally and psychologically and when the guy is in the middle of the act, in the throes of sex… I’m not quite sure if he’d slow down or stop if I wanted him to at that point. Some guys get really aggressive during sex, not abusive but more dominant and physical. I never had an issue but it was a big difference between what sex with women is like and I now understand why women might not be as eager to jump into the sack as quickly as guys. They have more to consider.
I had at least one experience that surprised me and taught me something I never knew about myself and still don’t really understand. I met a guy who was basically an ass. Rude, complete narcissist, basically a person you would seek to avoid in any other circumstance. Anyway, I nearly called off the encounter but decided to stick it out because a female friend warned me he was an ass but was also great in bed and I had a previous series of duds sooo… We did it.
I basically realized that I was just being used like a sex toy after awhile, like a means for him to get off without any consideration or really even acknowledgement of me. What surprised me is that this was turning me ON! I was being moved into different positions by him like he was giving his penis a workout and I was just a means to that end. He’d do things no one else ever did like sit on my face and have me kiss his butt while he called me a good little slut and again, I was turned on. So that was strange because I never thought I’d be turned on by being dominated like that or playing the role of a slut who is just there to please him. Before this, I’ve always wondered why otherwise normal women would be turned on by things like Fifty Shades of Grey or be sexually attracted to “bad boys” or jerks who treat them with no respect. Now that I’ve experienced it.. I don’t totally understand it but I can be more empathetic.
There was lots of bad sex too. Most of it was bad, honestly. Maybe that’s part of why I was so obsessed with the asshole guy I just mentioned, because he was actually really good at sex, had a beautiful penis that worked well, and knew how to use it. He was clean, smelled good, had a nice body and was well groomed. Basically what 80% of the other guys failed to be able to do. Poor hygiene, bad breath, wearing socks while having sex, finishing far too quickly or unable to finish at all. Many guys just were not that good at it would end up being a disappointment. Even one guy with a huge cock! It was fun to see the thing up close at first but sucking it just makes your jaw hurt quickly and there is really no way I’d have something that big inside me so I basically gave him a handjob.
During this time, I also began lightly experimenting with makeup. Not to look like Caitlyn Jenner or some guy in drag but to even out my complexion and just look better. No one knew I was wearing anything, it was really subtle. Well… no GUYS ever picked up on it, a few women did but they are more
attuned to it and every one of them complemented me on it. I had a very minor regimen but even at that, I was surprised at how expensive it could be an how much time it could take to properly clean your skin, exfoliate and then apply the product. I’d do a fraction of what most girls do so I can really
appreciate the time and effort now!! I also started doing things like getting mani-pedis, occasional facials and buying more stylish clothes. Again….Time and Money!! As a guy who used to use a combo bodywash/shampoo and wear jeans and Tshirts. This was a brave new world!
Another experience that I had was for a period of about a month, I actually had a male/male sugar daddy relationship with an older businessman. I did not go looking for this nor did I expect that it was something I’d ever do, I just fell into it and was surprised at how easy it was and I got a taste of how much power there is when you are on the side of the sexual dynamic that is offering sex to an eager party. I was utterly amazed at how opportunities would open up and entire lifestyles and social circles that were unreachable before could become accessible simply with the promise of sex. Again.. I was just an average guy and I had a mind blowing experience. I can only IMAGINE what opportunities there are for a young woman in her sexual prime with most of the male population vying for her attention! Even if you could not bring yourself to do this sort of thing (and honestly, I never thought I would) the temptation must be huge! So.. I was basically sitting at a bar one night playing with a hookup app when an older businessman strikes up a conversation and eventually buys me a drink. He eventually offers to show me around the city and I agree.
Long story short, we ended up in bed in his amazing suite overlooking the city after an amazing meal. I realize that he basically kept getting me to agree a drink first, then a walk, then a meal and before I knew it, he had me! You keep tasting more and more of that world and you don’t want it to stop. He was charming as well and made it seem like nothing, which it was to him because he was so rich. So pretty soon I am hooked and I keep telling myself I’ll end it soon, just one more time! I had vacation time from work and got to go on a trip to another city with him, all high end hotels, restaurants, shopping. He was easy to please sexually too, was never abusive. I found out he was married but that his wife totally approved of this so long as the guys were not exclusive. Meaning he could not see any guy longer than a month. I was relieved and also a bit disappointed and I flirted with finding someone else to do this with but never did. I actually got to meet his wife too! Very pretty woman! She said that she lets him do this and feels better about him seeing guys instead of girls. She took me out to lunch and she told me that she liked me more than any of the other guys he’s seen but their rule was that it could not continue endlessly. I told her I understood and was both relieved but disappointed too.
Another revelation was simply having female friends that I was not looking at as sexual possibilities! I met a very attractive woman who in the past, I’d be thinking constantly about how I could impress her or get into her pants and instead we bonded over makeup! She saw me fumbling around in Sephora in the mall like I was completely lost and we struck up a friendship. It was refreshing that I could see this person as more than just a hot girl! I noticed for the first time how so many men would openly gape, gawk and say the stupidest things to get her attention. I got to learn that she was had lots of interests and was studying to be a graphic designer in her spare time. She only managed to attract a series of losers and players or guys she’d intimidate too much with her beauty and they’d walk on eggshells around her.
So basically, I am winding this life experience down a bit and thinking of dating women again. It’s been really eye opening what women experience when dealing with men, with the sexual power that comes from offering sex and with the amount of time, money and effort that goes into looking good.
I’m not going to insult your intelligence and pretend that I have some amazing insight into femininity now. This was all very superficial and on the periphery but even at that it showed me that women’s experiences are very, different from guys and guys could do well to walk a mile in a woman’s shoes, even as just a simple mental exercise.
What Girls & Guys Said
36 47Very interesting myTake, this is my first time hearing that perspective! I'm bi as well, but a top. The one thing that I noticed being especially true is being able to form genuine friendships with women. One of my best friends right now is a female, and I don't think that friendship would've had the possibility of blossoming if I wasn't dating a man/ not able to date her. I more than likely would've done something stupid to try and sleep with her and ruined it 😂
Very interesting perspective. I never imagined that a guy could actually put himself in girl's shoes temporarily and you did it. I'm sure it was a unique experience for you and actually you gave nice insights.
This is fascinating to see it from a male perspective. Thank you for your insight.
What a load of crap, you put yourself in a position to get used and you were used.
I drives me up the wall to hear people like you whine about something they have done, trying to deflect their choices instead of just accepting responsibility for the consequence of their own actions.
No one forced you to do anything, no one took advantage of you. Every situation you found yourself in, was because you made the choice to be a part of that situation.
You felt like a piece of meat, well you went out and bent over by your own choice. You were not looking for a connection, you were looking to get laid. Now you want to cry, not one of them cared about me.
Just grow up, take responsibility for your actions.
I know guys that have been made to feel like a piece of meat by women, so lets get off the victim ride can we. People of both genders can and are users, if you put yourself out to be used don't cry when someone uses you.
Amen brother
Thank you for sharing this. It's really interesting to hear it from your point of view. Yeah, guys really don't get how physically vulnerable it is to have sex as a woman. I can't say that "world of opportunity" from a sugar daddy is anything I ever had offfered or even thought I could have, but it's a very interesting insight.
Thanks again.
Wow this is a highly thought provoking myTake. Your experiences brought you closer to understanding a woman's mind and heart in the modern world. This myTake really exhibits the difference between men and women.
Thank you for sharing!
Whoa. This is quite a unique post...
Interesting to see it from the open mind of another fellow bisexual! you go man! xxx
Interesting take, thank you for sharing.
Interesting, Would you say it's easier being in the "male" role (ie. dominant, make the first move, sugar daddy) or the "female" role (vulnerable, submissive, sugar baby)?
why. why does this matter.
This was a good read. Usually don't get this type of stuff from a male's perspective so kudos to you for sharing your story.
You insights are pretty good. You are willing to say a lot of stuff women aren't willing to say and a lot of stuff the guys wouldn't admit.
For guys, we are desperate for the hook ups but we are always careful with the life long partner. That's why some of us are willing to cough out the dough for hook ups and arm length relationship. Pathetic? Not really, it just reality.
For women, even though everyone denies it. They can't help admiring the glamour lifestyle. Rich and a gentleman? Oh that would knock a lot of girls off their heels. Not as a life long partner but definitely alright with fun and sex.
This was a very interesting read. I could not find myself to stop reading which I do to most of the takes posted on this website haha <3 Good job!
naa i ain't doing that not even to understand im strictly heterosexual interesting read though but not something i would ever do
Brilliant take! You're amazing!
Can you compare straight males to gay males?
It taught you that you're gay.
He's not gay, he's bi. If he were gay he wouldn't feel attraction for women.
@Omega_brie He's gay.
Well, all women are gay too, since liking men makes you gay. fuckin homos.
@Omega_brie No. Being a male and liking males is gay. Look it up, buddy.
liking only the opposite sex = hetero liking only the same sex = homo liking both = bisexual seems like this dude is bisexual.
girls like you make our gender look dumb, so stop. he's bi not gay. get your head out of your ass please
@DaddysGirl18 He's gay.
@Omega_brie If you're a dude and you like dick, bitch you gay. If you're a girl and you like pussy, bitch you gay.
Nope, still bisexual. Not sure what crawled into your vagina and died.
@Omega_brie He is gay and you are gay.
holy shit, how fucking triggered are you? knowing the definitions of words makes you gay now. lmao. You know that thing about homophobes being latently homosexual? That's what you're coming off as right now. Either you're turned on by girls, or you like watching yaoi or something, and somehow you feel guilty about that so you're freaking out over a simple word that can be looked up in a dictionary.
@Omega_brie I'm the triggered one when you're the one insulting me? All I've been saying this entire time is "He's gay" and you've been running with it. This could have ended so much longer ago if you just didn't respond to me, buddy. P. S He's gay.
he isn't, as he's attracted to women. If you spoke English, you would understand that. continue to post your insecure comments, though. I'm not responding.
@Omega_brie *Proceeds to reply with he's gay*
he is gay but you have your issues as well and get too defensive from this man's sexuality. maybe projecting some uncertainties and worries of your own?
@levantine99 but he's not gay, he's bi. His post mentions he was attracted to women and had girlfriends in the past. We really live in the world of fake facts these days. Words have meanings.
@Omega_brie I swear you're an idiot.
This actually is rather interesting- I never thought of things that way. Good you gained some experiences you deem valuable.
Just keep in mind this still doesn't apply to every female walking the earth out there.
I was surprised by how interesting I found your MyTake. It was a very original glimpse of the male/female dynamic, albeit, as you pointed out, necessarily superficial.
Cool take...
I am bi curious and just this year I started to actively seek it and in some ways, I get guy's frustration with us 😂
Anw I still haven't tried anthng cause it didn't work out with that girl but as soon as my break starts I am gonna try again and out myself out there more.
But I also seek a romantic connection, it s never gonna be just sex for me I need gains and a connection