Guys, There is porn all over his search history even tho we have sex daily?

Let me just preface this by saying that he has told me in the past that he's been masturbating and looking at porn since he was a preteen. We got together when we were in our late teens and we couldnt see each other very much, only on the weekends so I know he looked at a lot of porn when we first got together, which wasn't a problem because we didn't get to have a very big amount of sex. We are in our early 20s now tho and see each other very much. I make sure to take care of him frequently, as in daily. And he still watches porn daily. there's porn of other women all over his reddit account search history, in his regular internet search history, etc. I don't mind masturbation, I get that it is healthy and a part of life. But if he is having sex and cumming with me daily, sometimes even 2 or 3 times a day, could this indicate I'm not satisfying him sexually? Or that maybe he doesn't like my body? I would understand if I'm turning down sex and not doing stuff with him very often, but I actually do it a lot and I like it. I guess do you other men masturbate to porn even if your girlfriend is helping you with your needs often? If you do, does it have anything to do with not being satisfied with her or possibly unhappy with her body? Any insight would be great. I'm kind of sad by what I have found, especially when I try to be a kind lover that does whatever he wants in bed, tries out all his kinks, let him eat me out, i give him head often as well and also let him cum inside me (using birth control pill for years) im very responsive in bed and I actually really like sex. So I guess I don't see his need for other women in porn anymore? Could he be unhappy with my body or my pussy? Honest answers. I have tried to talk to him about this and he just shuts me down. I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough for him.

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Superb Opinion

  • I don't watch porn, but most guys do because they aren't aware of what it was designed to do. It was designed to destroy both men and women on many levels. The clever way it continues to do so is to trick society into accepting it as normal. Your guy is addicted to porn and the dopamine hit it gives him. In order to receive this dopamine hit the brain needs new stimulation. This is why porn of you will never cut it (or sex with you).

    If you understood what porn was designed to do, you wouldn't be making any either (you've met his level instead of surpassing it and rejecting it). You might not realize this currently but you are destroying your own self esteem and possibly, your ability to have a healthy relationship. You cannot compete with an addiction that embeds shame and plants dark elements into a persons brain at the subconscious level.

    The man you are with is an addict and until he realizes this, it will never change. The porn is a part of him now, it's in his mind and he thinks it's normal. You can do backflips, dress up and swing from a ceiling on a harness... it won't matter. The biggest concern is the potential of getting pregnant by a man like this.

    • Okay, so if he's doing it for the dopamine, why isn't sex with me cutting it? I thought sex gave off tons of dopamine and feel good chemicals. Maybe im wrong, I'm not trying to argue with you or anything. So I guess he finds these women on these pictures and videos way better than me then?

    • But yeah, you're right. It's ruining my self esteem and my sexual confidence tbh. I've started comparing my body to other women's and I feel like I'm not good at sex.

    • Sex does give of lots of dopamine but with porn it's at the flick of a button and it's much less effort. He's also been watching it for a very long time meaning it's embedded in his brain. You should also recognise the fantasy aspect as well. Ultimately you are giving your body, emotion, and doing all of these things for someone who has neither earned, or proven their worth. This is the real issue you should perhaps be focusing on.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The problem is you were OK with him watching porn and jerking off to other women when your relationship was young. You never set a standard that you should be the only woman he looks at sexually. Now all of a sudden you're hurt because he's still doing what you already told him he can do. What did you expect?

    Quit looking for sympathy from internet strangers and talk to him. If he doesn't want to give up porn then you can't really get upset at him. Afterall, you DID give him permission regardless of how long ago it was. In that case, either live with it or move on.

    • I really didn't. I always kinda questioned him about it and let him know it hurt my feelings. I never said it was okay, but I accepted that I couldn't change his mind and kept it to myself after awhile, because in the beginning he was a horny teenage boy and we only saw each other on weekend s

    • I figured he'd grow out of it when I started fucking him more

    • He probably watches it less unless his libido increased

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What Guys Said

(13)
  • Great answers written so I won't repeat.

    A suggestion instead.

    What about you watch the porn he likes with him?

    Then you'll know what exactly his fantasies are.

    Also, porn can be an addiction hard to rid.

    Hence instead of worrying and losing self esteem, why not push him for and then role play what you just watched. Show him you're much better than a cold image on screen.

    Once again, it's not you. It's a habit hard to kick. Fight with him using reverse psychology.

    Hope it works for the better.

    • He won't watch it with me. It makes him uncomfortable. But I have tried every kink he has brought up to me and in fact, I have enjoyed every one he has suggested. And I'm loud during sex, I let him eat me, I'm constantly sucking his dick before and during sex, and I let him cum inside me (birth control pill) and we even do anal sometimes. And I have told him that anytime he wants sex, I will do it. And I also do my fair share of initiating, so I am trying to be the best sexual partner I can be...

    • Sure you are doing your best, even more. But regrettably, many times, men just don't get it. Although I wrote that's his addiction, reading your replies I do have a bad feeling. All I can suggest is, if it's just porn but everything else is good, then learn to bear with it. But if there's something else, then I see red flag.

    • What is your bad feeling? That perhaps he just isn't very attracted to me?

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  • I think the key is whether he is available for sex when you want. The amount of sex people want varies a lot and there is no "right" or "wrong". I would see porn as a big problem if he were using porn instead of having sex with you, but if not, I don't see a lot of harm.

    For most men its a masturbation aid - like a woman reading erotic fiction or using a vibrator.

    But if you feel its impatcting your sex life, that is a different issue and is a real problem.

  • Nope. Nothing to do with you. Maybe he's just researching other things he wants to do with you. Chris Hemsworth runs by shirtless you're going to look. Nothing wrong with him looking at porn unless he's turning you down to do it or it saps all his stamina and he can't satisfy you.

    • Do you look at porn of other women even if your girlfriend is satisfying you sexually everyday? No judgement at all if you do, I'm just trying to see if other men do this when they have sex everyday as well.

    • Yep. With and without her. Sometimes the mood strikes at a time she's unavailable (at the store, in a meeting, etc) so I'll knock one out alone. She does the same if I'm doing something. Again, I'm only going to complain if she's choosing to do the porn INSTEAD of me. Otherwise knock yourself out til you get carpal tunnel just keep the volume down when I'm in a zoom meeting.

    • So it's porn of other women? Because my boyfriend has my nudes taken by a professional photographer and he still chooses to look at other women, even tho I'm also giving him my pussy everyday. Lol

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  • If u are not able to talk to him about this its pointless asking gag as the reasons don't matter at that point if he dint feel the need to explain why he does it clearly your feelings don't matter to him

    • I guess I'm not good enough even though I'm doing everything I can to keep him satisfied?

    • I never said that lol when u have spoken to him did he ever give u a reason

    • He just said he likes sex with me and to stop asking about porn of the other women since he's still having sex with me.

  • So rather than listening to the religious nuts and the people who are saying he issued to dehumanising women.

    Why don't you go and have an open and frank conversation with him. Most men know porn isn't real and over acted. But it can be good for ideas maybe he is watching to spice your sex life up. Maybe he has a kink which he doesn't want to share with you.

    Why are you searching his Internet history and accounts anyway. Is this perhaps your relationship isn't working as well as it once did.

    • I'm just wondering why I'm not good enough for him sexually when I'm fucking him every day and he still needs other naked women on porn. I have tried talking to him about this issue and he just shuts me down and won't say anything. He just yells at me when I bring it up. Why am I not enough?

  • How is watching porn healthy

    • I honestly don't know anymore. I could kind of understand when I wasn't able to see him very much, but it's starting to seem like I'm not good enough for him since I'm able to fuck him everyday now and he's still doing this.

    • Liek seriously, what could be wrong with me sexually?

    • Have a very serious talk to him about it if you have to go to counseling

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  • Dump him. That's cheating. He is just saying that he doesn't think you're attractive. You're just a sex toy and emotional suitcase to him. Dump like a ton of bricks.

    • So I'm just not hot enough or good enough sexually for him I guess? I'm trying to do the best I can...

    • No he doesn't respect you because he's so used to dehumanizing women because of porn. Bad relationship.

  • He's addicted the dopamine high.

    • Wouldn't sex with me give him a dopamine hit as well tho?

  • Apparently he can cum more than he's having sex. If you are willing to have more sex than you're already having then I'd say you should tell him you'd prefer he has sex with you whenever he wants to cum. Otherwise as long as he doesn't choose porn over sex (like turns you down for sex so he can masturbate), then there's no problem.

    • Yeah but we already have sex anywhere from 1 to 3 times daily. And I work a lot so that just about as much as I can do. But the fact that I'm doing it with him so much and trying my best at it, does it sound like he prefers these other women? Like maybe I'm not hot enough or don't give him good enough orgasms?

    • I'm sure you do, but since you can't have sex with the frequency that he can cum he uses porn to supplement you making him cum. Until he turns you down, when you're willing, there's no problem.

    • He also has my nudes that are taken by a professional photographer and he still chooses other women on the internet tho?

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  • whats your point

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