Sexual Relationships
1 mo

Things I dislike in a relationship

1. Staying in touch with exes

Even if it has been years gone, you have still slept with that person before, loved them, and there is no full way of knowing their ex is fully over your partner.

Things I dislike in a relationship

2. Not working

Personally, income is not huge to me when it comes to dating, my boyfriend stacks shelves, but he works and thats all that matters to me, he's a hard worker. It's not so much about the 'money' aspect, as he doesn't earn a lot, it's more so that in the future, moving out seems almost impossible unless on dual income, and I'm doing an in demand degree! still feels impossible! (In the UK at least).

Things I dislike in a relationship

3. Not being able to cook

I don't expect my partner to be a master chef, but if he can't make a curry out of a jar, or something of the likes, it just is eh, I don't know a bit silly to be fully grown and not be able to cook for yourself apart from a fried egg on toast.

Things I dislike in a relationship

4. Porn

This is a looong one, and some of you will agree and some will heavily disagree, that's okay, I just ask you respect my boundaries as I will yours!

The reason I dislike porn in relationships is because of all the studies I've seen and how it often leads to a decline in couples intimacy, as well as Erectile dysfunction, the dopamine addiction, shrinking of grey matter in the brain, and false perceptions.

As someone who's 20, wrapping my head around this took awhile, as unfortunately I grew up around porn (the average age someone is exposed to porn is now 12-13.) and I thought it was normal and thats what sex was, I learnt what sex was from porn, which was really harmful in hindsight and not an accurate representation of sex.

Me and my partner have a great intimate life, and I couldn't be happier, there is no dead-bedroom, or even close, it may actually be too much.

5. Not caring about mine or his family

If my partners parents were abusive etc, of course this does not matter at all and is discarded, but what I mean is not introducing me as his partner to his parents and vice versa, I always think its great to get to know your partners family. (Again this is irrelevant if their family has issues.

Things I dislike in a relationship

6. Emotional immaturity

This is things like holding grudges, not being able to learn from mistakes, and not being able to empathise with other people in general and see things from their perspective, these two things cause a huge lack in communication.

As soon as an argument becomes about who is right or wrong, the sense of love seems to fade and anger takes over, which is what causes a lot of arguing and splits, whereas me and my partner, we talk about it from both our perspectives, he can tell me why he thought it isn't hurtful, and I can tell him why it did hurt me, and then we come to a neutral ground, or I agree with him or he agrees with me and we always make sure to tell eachother we love eachother to re-assure, I just can't deal with childish he/she started it!!! im right!!! ur wrong!! bullshit, we are 20+ not 15.

Things I dislike in a relationship

7. Extreme political views

We can sit here all day and all night arguing about feminism, inceldom, trump, biden, rishi sunak, boris johnson etc, and whatever end of the compass you land on, I've just realised as I've gotten older, it doesn't really matter, and if you spend your time hating a certain group or people, with such deep hatred and argumentativeness inside you, it just turns me off, I just wan't to live my life peacefully and not bother what others do as long as it doesn't affect me.

I once asked my very traditional breadwinner father what he thought about gay people etc, he just grunted and said, I don't really think about it or care, and I realised why should I either, if two men want to fuck ok, if two women want to fuck, ok.

Again this point is not about who is right or wrong, it's more about the fact if you let your hatred consume you to the point everyday you're rambling and raving, I just don't want it.

Things I dislike in a relationship

I probably forgot some other stuff, but this is just my general few things! Remember we are all different people, if you disagree thats okay but lets respect eachothers opinions, Thank you for reading my MyTake!

10 8

Most Helpful Guy

  • Excellent read and spot on correct. you are very mature for your age and could make a million bucks trying to educate a lot of young people in a relationship basics training course.

    you didn't mention video games. That... could be a show stopper for some... e. g. the power and draw they have to priority over everything else, like any other drug.

    • Me and my partner both play videogames, I guess all I would say about that, similar to anything is play them in moderation, don't spend hours upon hours on the game and let an addiction form When I'm visisting my boyfriend he does not even touch his computer. And thank you for the kind compliments, but I am definietely not qualified to help people with their relationships haha

Most Helpful Girl

  • Very reasonable take <3

    • Thank you, I love your takes :)

    • Thanks. Queens support queens!

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 24

  • Wow you are very smart and very articulate at your age, bravo! I wasn't this articulate and well spoken at 20 damn. You should try for IV league if you want, because I don't think you will have a problem getting in haha. But yeah, I am a bit jealous about how you're already so well spoken and you seem to know a lot already and are matured at your age. How'd you do that? ! When I was 20, I was scared and shy with guys even looking at me or checking me out! I was very afraid of getting left pregnant or used for sex! Wow just wow. Talk about confidence and intelligence!

    • Thank you! I wouldn't call myself mature, but I will say you should not compare yourself to others and we are all different people, which is what makes us interesting, you're too harsh on yourself! I just go to a local university haha, and I left school before my exams and fought hard to make up for many years of lost education. I do get worried about men looking at me too, it makes me quite uncomfortable sometimes, when me and my partner first met up (He lives down south and we met online) I held his hand but couldn't look at his face because I was too shy lol.

  • This is a very thoughtful and well written myTake, and I concur with all that you said!

    • Thank you for taking the time to read it and interpret what I said properly! Not a lot have done so and just read the main points and not the context under them haha. Thank you :)

  • Excellent post.

    • Thank you for the point, Goddess. I started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow me as well.

  • Well said and well written. We need more thinking like this.

  • I agree with everything you said

  • I disagree with every point here.
    I love to hold grudges as I believe in a strong sense of give what ya get so if one's wronged you that grudge should exist.
    Working means jack all to me, the only way this is ever a problem is if one expects the other to carry them finically which shouldn't be a thing unless both have mutual sought terms on that point.
    Always will hate conservatives and specific groups as their views actively hurt society whether it impacts my life or not.
    Porn is fictional it would be like saying don't watch horror films cause they may warp my views on violence that's not how it works.
    Don't need to know how to cook to put a pizza in the oven and I really like pizza and other premade stuff.
    Been friends with ex's is good because it means all that time wasn't just wasted, I only get rid of ex if we left on bad terms otherwise I shouldn't punish and destroy a friendship just because a romantic partnership didn't work out.

    Cases such as they still hung up on their ex is a problem for sure but that's not synonymous with been friends with an ex. It's auto-assuming their is a problem when you haven't got any evidence for it, is it fair to be cautious about it? sure. But fair to be automatically casting that as a fact before knowing them isn't.

    • I'm going to bite the bullet here, what's wrong with being conservative, they promote small businesses, listening to the people on lay of land and what to do with public transport, and parking. Most of the time makes reasonable cuts and makes effective use of that money. Make sure litter is sorted and encourages more people to work and not sit at home on the dole all day.

    • Homophobia, Racism, Religious dictation, Promoting warfare, Promoting rights to owning weapons, Dictation of woman's bodies and rights, and many more toxic things. If we had kept listening to what conservatives want we would still be stuck in the dark ages hanging people for been witches, and saying women are men's property. What you've named aren't tied to be conservative at all, because whether your left or right everyone knows supporting small businesses is a good thing. And lefts for sure care about climate change and recycling which is all about litter been sorted lol. And they also for sure care about public transport. So dunno where your getting these are conservative ideals from?

  • sounds good :)

  • i liked best how you presented the first and last ones about your partner ex and the constant ranting.

  • I agree, but keep in mind that many guys watch porn because their girlfriends do not fulfil their partner's desires, so they seek fulfilment in porn, it is obvious that if there is complicity and taboo between you, you can do without porn.

  • No one gave your mytake any form of attention after putting in effort, I'll say something hopefully it gets the flow going, it was sad watching this post flow through my feed and no one say a word 😆

    • I guess because its not a political argument etc no one really cares haha, but if I made a post saying something silly like 'men this' or 'women this' everyone would be very excited to argue for the next few days of their life lol

    • Yea or did a rating post or said some sexual bullshit, this site is just ass, but nice mytake, I guess I'm the only audience whooo 🙃🎊🎉

  • 1. You can always block your ex and your partner must do the same. Agree.

    2. Both should strive to find a job. If one of the partners is lazy and relies only on his half without doing anything, even at household level.. then there is something wrong with this relationship. No one wants a leech right?

    3. To me as a man, yes. Women who don't cook is half of the problem. Biggest broblem is when they don't want to learn cooking... Both partners can always teach each other.

    4. Has point, i would agree. Porn does not make much sense if you are in a relationship.

    5. Makes sense, family is important.

    6. At this stage you should think is it worth continuing the relationship? Some people don't change over time.

    7. Its better not to bring much of it into relationship.

    Overall, good post, there probably nothing that anyone could disagree with.

  • I am 34 and I can't cook anything. I hope there is a woman who will accept it

  • your list will grow as you get older.

    The list you provided was very basic

    • No need to point out the obvious! I actually said in my MyTake that it was a very basic list of things and I would be forgetting a lot :)

  • 1. This I agree with.
    2. I'd prefer she wasn't already working, so she can work with me at my job, dual imcome I agree with though.
    3. I can teach her to cook, its fine if she doesn't know how yet.
    4. This I don't agree with, in my opinion she has to like porn, otherwise I'm not interested, I like sexually charged virgin women, porn keeps her from making mistakes before she meets me, and gives us ideas for us to do.
    5. I'm not an extended family person, so thats not important to me.
    6. This I agree with.
    7. I'm not much for politics, I prefer science.

  • Spot on, on most of this. I am still in contact with a single solitary ex.. Only because she was someone I grew up with, as in childhood friend. We dated for a week.. It didn't go well so we decided to take a step back and be friends. She's now happily married with kids. That is the only ex I'd ever even consider staying in contact with. And no there is no sexual attraction or anything else for that matter.

  • Double standards

    • How is it double standards when I myself have to also meet these requirements?

  • Well, there are expectations, then reality.

    • Well my partner meets these, I think they are all fairly simple :)

    • Maybe he's hiding some from you.

    • Fortunately, not all men are the same, we have a very good and honest relationship, we use each other's phones, etc.

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  • Wow. I am floored at how mature this take actually is and how accurate all 7 points are.

  • Remind me not to date you, i ever meet you

  • I see many men intimidated by her cooking requirements. I am no master chef either…but I can make a mean pasta with lots of veggies. I can also make hummus or pesto and throw that together with some oven roasted potatoes and veggies for an excellent dinner. My chickpea salad melts are to die for, and for breakfast, poached eggs or french toast with berries and yoghurt and maple syrup should to the trick

    my question is, am I a good enough cook for a man? I make decent money so I order in a lot but I cook about half the nights of the week

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