Thinking about having sex makes me anxious?

[Anonymous]

For context, I am a virgin and my girlfriend isn't. I've had sexual experiences (a fairly long time ago) but I've never actually gone all the way and had sex, whereas my girlfriend has been having sex for a few years and is far more experienced than me. She wants us to have sex, and at times I feel like that's what I want too, but at other times the thought of having sex makes me extremely anxious. She's talked about her past sexual experiences with previous boyfriends (both good and bad), and I think this has caused me to feel like there's some sort of expectations placed on me or as if I'm somehow in competition with her ex boyfriends, but my lack of experiences means I have no confidence in being able to meet this standard. I want to be able to please her as well as others have, but I'm not confident I can. I also have a somewhat negative view of my body/appearance which makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable being seen naked.

[Guffrus]

Well, you have 2 choices, you can either allow your insecurities to destroy you and your relationship or you can have a great time fucking a woman who loves you.

Seems like a no brainer to me.

Imagine you are me for a moment or whatever, an older version of yourself if you like.

You have long since lost your virginity and you have no expectation what so ever than anyone you date would be a virgin because thats all long in the past.

What the fuck would it matter what experience they had?

You have access to the internet so you can read up on techniques and anatomy etc and go into losing your virginity far better equipped than any generation of humans that came before you but to paraphrase the Starks of Winterfell, the essense of it is that you stick 'em with the pointy end.

Fucking a woman that you love is pretty much as good as it gets, i dont know what else you were expecting to have lined up for you in life, rainbow shitting unicorns showering you in magical feel good candy perhaps?

I have no idea.

But quite frankly i think you are being absurd. (I mean, i get it obviously, i remember what its like to be that age and to be worrying if wearing the wrong sort of pants will lead to some sort of soul crushing humiliation)

Read a book first if you must but go and fuck your woman.

[Drumlin2001]

I assume she knows your a virgin?
I was a 35 yr complete virgin, no experience what so ever. I got together with ex, we took things slow. Talk a lot to get everything out in the open. When it came to the physical stuff i was very intrepid. The mental barroers thatbhad plagued me for years were hard to break through. Ultimately she had to take the lead and kiss me, from that point a weight lifted and things came more naturally. First time we were intimate, we kissed, i fondled her breast then fingered her. Then went down on her till she came (she wasn't expecting that, i found the g-spot straight off the bat). But my nerves got to me and i cohldnt get it up. Happened second time too. Third time it started happening again, she had to take lead again and it was good.
Dont compare yourself with others. Take your time. Feel comfortable around each other and enjoy. It's supposed to be fun, and it will be. Just don't take it too seriously (and wrap it up)

[DrippingHoney]

Having sex with someone new for the first time, even if it isn't your first time having sex, makes lots of people anxious.

[Steve37]

Everything you are feeling is normal. It's easy for me to tell you to relax but I know it's not that simple. Let me know if you need to chat about it.

[Anonymous]

Well let me tell you you are not the only one everyone gets anxious when they come to know about their partners experience my girl also had these thaughts and she told me about that after a hell lots of love sessions the thing is if you will start thinking that you are the only one she will want to have sex with after today bro let me tell you this just this thinking gives you such a good time in bed that nothing else can well to be clear just stop thinking about that and hou will see how this wi dissapear and girls hate the ones who lack confidance in bed its more like just show you should show off your venom because no one other than you knows that it can't kill and brother placebo effect plays a huge role in bed hope it helps you 🤟🏻