This is about sex?

[maybeeline]

OK so me and my man have a great strong relationship, we're happy but we also have a past he did cheat on me but we were both young I choose to stay and forgive him I know he would not do that now I know. I've always had self esteem issues but I don't know he's seen every part of me but I just feel so self conscious when we're together I feel bad about myself my body my skills I just want to fake it or at least act like I'm confident how can I get over this. He deserves it I think I do to. Any suggestions please

[caring__1]

What we're dealing with is a failure to communicate. You are assuming you know what he values in a woman, yet you haven't taken the time to actually ask him. Find out what drew him to you in the first place, the special surprises he has discovered over time and what keeps him coming back. Never minimize what he says, even if you feel he likes something that society doesn't see as ideal. Whatever he likes, find ways to enhance that. Let him enjoy you as you are rather than faking what you assume he'd prefer.

As an example, there are guys who prefer small-breasted women. Unfortunately, it is very challenging to find small-breasted women who feel good about what they bring to the relationship. They constantly assume he wants large breasts and is just settling for her. By not savoring his appreciation of her as she is, she ends up destroying the relationship.

[Avicenna]

No need to feel self-conscious about your appearance

[maybeeline]

I don't mean to it's ruining everything like we used to be able to watch porn together now I just think am I doing it like that I don't look like that I'm not doing it good enough... so on and so on and I'm pushing him away I'm hurting him he tells me I should be confident and that I'm sexy he could never be with anyone else our relationship is strong were different special I just don't know how to stop myself

[kyleelyn199723]

So here’s the thing: you can’t sit there and say you are over his cheating when your self esteem issues with him stem from his cheating. You aren’t over it. What exactly don’t you like about yourself if you don’t mind me asking?

[maybeeline]

My stomach my lips my nose my butt my boobs I compare myself to other girls and I love women I don't want to be like that I used to have an open mind not care now I just try to hide

[kyleelyn199723]

@Maybeeline why are you with someone that makes you feel so insecure? How does he treat you now?

[maybeeline]

Amazing

[maybeeline]

That's the thing it's not him it's me things with him couldn't be more perfect if it was him I wouldn't be here but it's me he tries so hard to make me know I'm beautiful were really good except the sex I'm just I don't feel good enough

[maybeeline]

And I think about it a lot lately and I don't think or know if there's anything else he can do to help me

[kyleelyn199723]

@maybeeline maybe you should focus on bettering your appearance. Dressing up a little even if you are just sitting home. Finding new hairstyles and maybe exploring a little make up. Work out and try to eat healthier options. All those things will make you feel better

[maybeeline]

OK I will i mean I'm 5'5 130 lbs I don't know what my problem is

[kyleelyn199723]

Maybe it has nothing to do with your weight, it might have to do with not doing things for yourself that make someone feel overall good about themselves

[maybeeline]

Thank u

[maybeeline]

So he turned on porn just now and asked me to come over and I flipped out ugh saying bs... why should i I'm not those girls

[kyleelyn199723]

@maybeeline so do you think he’s really treating you right when he has a history of cheating and now he’s watching porn? I think you need to end this.

[maybeeline]

What should I do please this self esteem thing is hurting the love of my life he's been so patient I can't let this happen

[maybeeline]

A lot of guys watch porn I used to with him him and I have grown into our relationship it's not going to end because of that

[kyleelyn199723]

My boyfriend doesn’t watch porn, so personally that’s no excuse when he has a history of cheating. You have an attachment to him and it’s your choice to stay, but it’s also your choice to put up with having self esteem issues because he is still looking at other women in your presence and it seems like he has no shame.

[In_Trance]

You need a wake up call. gtfo of there