Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Have you ever seen a couple that has been together for 52 years, and they act like two teens in puppy love?
I met a couple like that the other day. I must have been staring a bit too long because the woman asked me whether I had a question. Dumbfounded I just asked, “How do you two do it?”
I sat with Ellen and Josh for a good three hours gathering all the information I could that made their relationship so wonderful. This encounter must have been karma because I had been asked to do an article on relationships about a month before. I spent about three months in total working on the article.
I had collected a pile of books, articles, magazines, and a massive bookmark folder on my computer covering the topic. The original was rejected because it was not PC enough. So, I expanded it with information I was not able to include because of space limits.
However, talking to Josh and Ellen changed the direction I would head.
I want what they have. I want to be the man that my woman desires to be with every second of every day. I want to desire her twice as much. I want us to love each other as long as there are stars in the skies above, and longer. I want us to melt when we are together.
The question is how does this happen? It can’t just be happenstance. It can’t just be that some people are lucky, and some are relegated to a life of semi-happiness. What I learned is that it is totally possible, and that a lot of bad advice is out there.
This is mainly written for what the man can do. It comes from the point of view of giving the woman what she wants and desires. I do deal with the topic of sex in the context that it is a celebration of two peoples deep feeling for each other. This is also in the context that the man respects the woman in every way possible way.
The Problem
As a man we hear the answer “I want a good man” continually. We also hear “good men are hard to find.” What is a good man? If we look online at dating web sites we see the basic description given that includes honest, intelligent, a sense of humor, respectful, and confident. If that were all there was to it, good men are in abundance. However, in the grand scheme that description is the grain of sand that tops the very summit of Mt. Everest.
To make this work you, the man, have to do three things.
First, you must understand that there are halves that must be present. I’ll explain those below. Both halves enhance each other making them more powerful. The result is that the woman gets what she desires and needs. In return, the man gets what he desires and needs.
Next you have to be 100% honest, and communicate. With honesty you cannot hold back, you cannot sugar coat, you reveal everything. Yes, there are risks to doing this. But, without risk there is no reward. This doesn’t mean you just throw an entire department store of feelings and thoughts at her all at once. Be smart, and honestly reveal at the appropriate time. Honestly answer questions.
Finally, you communicate everything to your woman. Again, don’t smother her.
Recently, a woman and I started exploring a relationship together. We have been talking for several months off and on about various topics. She has demonstrated all the traits I look for in a partner. Honestly she is the only one I found to have every trait I desire. She is a rare unicorn of a woman. When she expressed interest, I didn’t hesitate to respond. The rule we agreed upon is 100% honesty between us. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable, even embarrassing for us to reveal certain things. But, the feeling of knowing each of you has that level of trust is beyond words. She is truly my unicorn.
Through learning what I am sharing here, I hope, I want, to give her everything she desires mentally, emotionally, and physically. She is the only person I think about, the only one I desire to be with.
What Women Want.
When I am speaking of women, I’m speaking of most women. Each woman is unique so everything may not fit exactly as described. Every woman has her own life experiences that will shape and define her. However, the information I collected was written in the context of most women, so it stands to reason that most women will agree. I am not including anything specific to the woman I am currently building a relationship with. As I mentioned, every woman is different.
Most women desire to be able to surrender to the man chooses. This doesn’t mean become a doormat. It simply means she wants to feel like a woman around him. Most women desire the traditional role when it comes to relationships. When she can surrender herself completely to you, it enhances the connection that she is able to feel. I’ll get into this a little more further down. I want to be clear on the definition of surrender. It does not mean she becomes an object, giving up her power, or totally submitting to authority over her. It means she is willing giving all of herself to you.
Now, this has nothing to do with manipulation. If you are at all familiar with me, you will know that I loath manipulators. If the woman feels objectified in any way, she will not feel comfortable, and she will not be able to surrender. Surrendering has everything to do with the level of trust she has for you.
Men need to stop thinking in getting the woman. It is not about getting what you want. Getting what you want is a byproduct of completely fulfilling what she needs. You connect with her emotional soul, her romantic heart, innate sensuality, and she will willingly give you what you need.
Her Desires
Over the past several months I uncovered the first part of what women desire. This is the first of the two parts.
1) To feel special
2) To feel a deep emotional connection
3) To feel like a woman
4) To have passionate sex
Each of these desires does not truly work without the other three. If you take a close look and try to eliminate one of the four, the other three don’t work.
I didn’t just come up with these four desires. It just took me a while to decipher what was being said in the research papers, articles, and books I was reading. Then finding the link between each of these desires. It is up to you as the man to deliver on each of these desires.
She wants to feel appreciated and unique. She wants her man to treat her unlike any other woman in the woman in the world while supporting dreams and endeavors.
Feeling like a woman means her man makes her feel beautiful, feminine, and sexy. She desires to feel all the things that simply come with being a woman.
She desires to know her man in ways no one else does. She wants to be able to share herself with her man in ways that she cannot do with others. Do not be scared to show her that you are vulnerable. How can you have an emotional connection if you have zero vulnerabilities?
She desires to be enticed, teased, and satisfied. She wants her man to seduce her. You can say it is mental foreplay. Be subtle, be obvious with an air of sensuality. Don’t try to go from zero to light speed at the last second. Constantly seduce and passionate sex will happen that simply allows her let go. She wants to experience new things, try stuff in new ways, try new things with him. This can include new roles and fantasies.
When you as the man can do this for your woman she is able to feel affirmed, desired, and alive. When she feels these emotions the two of you can melt mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Most men can only deliver on a few of these desires. To deliver, on all four is to be the man that women dream about. You have to be about her in every way. Women from all over the place continuously state that they will give you what you want in return, if you deliver.
In my three hours plus long conversation with Josh and Ellen, they confirmed what I am speaking of. Josh lives for Ellen and is not selfish in giving himself to her. Ellen in return gives Josh what he desires because she wants to please him in every way possible.
The foundation is undeniable trust through 100% honest communication.
Be The Man She Desires
If you really want to get a glimpse into the mind of women and what they want, it isn’t hard. Go read the top romance novels written by women. Read a porn story written by women for women. These are vastly different from stuff made for men. Or, go on a three-month journey going through hundreds research articles.
Aside from the four desires, there are four key traits women desire. Nearly every romance novel will have a male hero, or a male object of desire, for the female counter part. If you need further proof that women desire these traits, consider that romance novels are a $1.08 billion dollar industry in the United States. In Britain, the physical books alone that were sold in 2016 were worth £178.09m.
Again, I’m going to harp on this honesty and communication thing. Without that, you can do whatever you want, and the woman isn’t going to be able to willingly give herself to you the way she wants.
Now, there are aspects of my life that I cannot talk about. These are job related and sharing that information could have negative impacts that directly threaten my lively hood. However, I’m just honest in stating that I can’t share that particular part of my life at that point in time. I’m not trying to hide anything, I honestly cannot talk about certain things given my profession.
As the man she desires you have to be responsive to her. You must be responsible for your woman in every way. When she surrenders, you are accountable for her mentally, emotionally, and physically. Playing mind games can wreak havoc on her for years. Physically abusing her in a sexual manner she is not comfortable with is not only illegal, but mentally and emotionally damaging. DO NOT manipulate or play mind games.
She wants you to be exciting, but not reckless. A little spontaneity can keep things exciting in more ways than one.
She wants a man who is considerate, but isn’t boring. Hold the door open for her, help her when she doing house chores. Nonetheless give her space, and don’t smother her.
She desires you to be intelligent, but not bland. Have a range of topics you can talk about. Be able to solve problems as they come up. Be willing to learn and look for answers when you need to.
Be a man’s man, but be interesting. The macho type men who work out, play sports, and hunt tends to become uninteresting. Do not allow the lifestyle to become all consuming. She will find you one dimensional.
Be dominate, but not demanding. Take the lead and have a plan for some things. Remain flexible though. She is an independent, intelligent, driven woman all day. When she comes home to you, she wants to simply surrender to your lead. Again, this doesn’t mean being told what she will and will not do.
For women, it’s difficult to find a man who has these all these traits. Then, when you include the four desires most women seek, and you see why women say “It’s hard to find a good man.”
When each part is present within you, each thing more powerful to her. She can allow herself be the woman you desire, and give herself to you completely. But, this can only happen if you, as the man, can give her what she desires.
You need to be sensitive, yet still be strong; dominant, yet caring; sweet, but able to lead. It seems like a total contradiction as to what she wants. I’m about to give you guys the secret.
Everything Is Held In A Certain Context With Women
During the day and during the week, she wants to be seen as responsible. She wants to be in control of her life and destiny. She wants others to see her as proper, educated, and a professional woman with a career.
At night, in private, with her man whom she trusts she wants to be a little naughty. She wants to be able to express herself to him. She wants to be able to shed responsibility around the man she has an intimate connection with.
When you can understand this dichotomy of context, things start to make sense. For some men, everything they thought they knew changes.
Josh mentioned that the first year he was married to Ellen he didn’t understand the context thing. He said that he was treating her in private the way he did when they were in public. Things were okay, but not exciting. Ellen did say she was beginning to think she made a mistake. Then, Ellen said everything changed when Josh read a romance novel she was reading. It opened up a line of communication when he asked her what she got out of novels. Ellen was ruthlessly honest at that point, and Josh paid attention.
Ever since then Josh treats her like a proper woman in public with subtle romance flirtation. In private they are two different people who can satisfy each other. Ellen made it perfectly clear that Josh is not selfish. He works to satisfy her in every category and knows what she likes. He pays attention, and responds accordingly to her reactions. Be that in public, or the bedroom. This allows her to be the woman he wants, and is able to satisfy his needs because she wants to.
Here is the key take away. Men - don’t be selfish. Live for your woman. Don’t get what you want, and then leave her hanging waiting to get what she wants. Many men make this mistake, and it is a huge turnoff for women. Eventually, the woman will just give up on even trying. When she finally breaks things off, the guy is standing there asking what happened. Well, you were selfish emotionally, mentally, or physically. Worse yet, you were selfish in all three areas.
When you are not selfish, she can lose herself in you. Something starts to happen, it becomes something neither of you can explain. However, both of you know it is exactly where you are supposed to be.
Support your woman. They are intelligent people and do not need you to solve their problems. Listen to them, and let them work through their emotions. They can figure out the rest. If they want a solution, they will ask.
Accept your woman. No judgements. Just admire and respect who she is. Allow her to be the woman in the relationship.
To summarize everything, here is the take away areas.
1) Most women want a man who makes her feel good about her herself.
2) Most women want to be respected. Simultaneously they want to feel desired, sexy, and ready to be taken.
3) Most women want to feel as if they are being heard. They want to know that you accept them and hear what they DO have to say. Again, unconditional trust, acceptance, and respect.
4) Most women want to be women. They want to be treated like women, and the man to be a man. She needs for you to recognize the context. She is responsible and independent in public, while also craving sex and being able to surrender in private.
5) Take the lead. Be the gentleman by opening the door, planning a date, planning the romantic vacations. You can equally share the day to day responsibilities of shopping, home and car buying, how to raise the kids. But, let her be the woman in the other aspects of the relationship. She can only feel like the woman, when you are the man.
Hope this helps someone out there. I know doing all the research has helped me. Not only to become a better person, but become “that man” to the unique and rare unicorn of woman I choose. I don’t just want to be the man she wants. I want to be the man she truly desires in every sense of the meaning.
I wish I could include all of the information I have, but limits have me cutting a lot. If people like this one, I’ll do a follow up piece.
What Girls & Guys Said
19 45Humans like humans by default, except if you drive them out of liking you.
I get the first part, but not the second. I think it's the word 'drive' that's throwing me off.
Beauty is the absence of defect. Humans like humans, except if you give them reasons for disliking you. And not eventual reasons, but constant reasons.
Got it. Yeah, can agree with that.
Well I read your take on what men want, and I found this take less interesting. And I can't pinpoint exactly why. It could be the way its written, or that I thought a lot of this information is common knowledge. I'm not sure, regardless though, I'd love it if you could elaborate on what you referred to as 'contexts', that's the one part I found quite interesting in the whole bit. Maybe its a familiar concept with an alternate phrasing but it piqued my interest.
Its always something guys *have* to do, isn't it? Guys have to do this, they have to do that, otherwise they're not "good men". And then after all of that obligatory stuff that guys have to do, girls will reciprocate if she *wants* to. Sounds awfully one sided. But I suppose if a girl ever did that, then we'd have the freedom to drop her ass and find someone else only to start the process all over again. Instead of trying to fit into the box of someone else's ideals, why can't I just be me? Why isn't that enough?
You can be your self. I’m not saying not to. You don’t have to do anything. If that is good for her, that’s great. I only offered this because I found it really interesting. I also want to better myself.
What you just wrote contradicts your article.
I don't see how. You can read and use the information. Or, read it and not use it. If not using it works for you, that's cool. I was asked to do an article on relationships between men and women. I took it because it's an area I have researched for a long time, and I believe it makes me a better person. How is that a contradiction?
Well you go on and on about what men have to and must do to "meet women's desires", thereby implying if I'm not doing these things then I'm not doing enough. Then in your next breath you say that I don't have to do anything. That's a contradiction. And then there's this "You must be responsible for your woman in every way". Like what the fuck? Am I dating a child here who can't be responsible for her actions? This puts so much pressure on guys because it basically says that if the relationship fails, it's only his fault. If she cheats, it's his fault. If she hits him, it's his fault. If he isn't attracted to her anymore, it's because of something he did. Everything is his responsibility and she's just there for the ride. Um, fuck that. It's a partnership. I'm not carrying dead weight because she wants to feel feminine and then hear her complain that it's my fault, I'm not a 'real man', and I'm not trying hard enough.
@JSmuve fully agreed.
I'm not getting it. What do you want from me? I'm not going to try and validate myself. Nor am I going to enter into a debate. If you want, go and do the research for yourself. If you don't like it, that's cool. Don't do anything with what I wrote, and continue to do what you believe works for you. You are entitled to your opinion, and I respect that.
I never said I wanted anything from you. Though I don't doubt that there's a lot of truth in what you wrote, I thought the tone of the article was off-putting and subtly condescending.
Valid point.
Have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money...
Lol. Well, just like this MyTake may apply to some women. I'm sure that will apply to some as well.
Didn't read it all, but can tell a lot of effort went into it, so thumbs up
Not a problem. Thank you for the complement. It is long, but it could be longer. My actual original was over 27,000 words. So, coming in just under 3,000, and still making sense, is a miracle.
WOW, nice work
Thanks. I did have a little help from a certain someone.
Can you post something on "how to self love before loving others"
Or "how to live for yourself and not for others (women)"
😝😝👍
I can work on something like that. It takes a tremendous amount of time and internal perspective. You have to be ruthless with yourself to recognize your flaws, and move past your pains. It's not easy, trust me - been there. Right now I'm working on another requested piece. This would be next in line.
Interesting
Thank you.
Nice take but there is a lot of 'easier said than done' kind of stuff and the era of life-long partners is becoming extinct as the demands and expectations of women have become out of control. A guy can do everything right and the woman will still dump the guy in favor of someone else.
At first it is 'easier said than done.' But, with the right woman it is amazingly easy to do. Like I said every woman is different, and unique. So, it may take a little while to get things going. With the one I am building a relationship with, it comes rather easy.
Happy woman happy life haha
Most definitely.
Great MyTake
Thank you. It was fun researching it.
Yep!
Lol, I think I get it.
👍 cool
I'm someone who's very interested in finding a woman's desires. But it's to my understanding that some women don't want me to find it.
The right combination usually works. You just have to be a really locksmith.
Okay.
... really *good locksmith.
This makes sense to me. However I am not ready for something so serious. Right now I am having fun and most of the girls I meet are like that too. Definitely when I am ready to settle down I will use your tips on how to be a better man for my future girl.
Really good mytake!
Thank you for the compliment. I hope it serves you well when you are ready.
Very nice. :)
I’ve never dated, but still feel I’ve always had a fair understanding of women. I believe this shows more evidence of that. :)
That would be a good thing.
I don’t see how understanding women could be a bad thing. lol
You never dated? Even hook ups?
@LeoElias Long story. Basically I thought I had my SO most of my life, but she died before we could go beyond casual because of moving. I haven’t fallen in love since.
Yep, been there myself. Been in semi-happy relationships as well. But, because of dishonesty, or lack of communication things didn’t work. When you communicate honestly, any feelings you have start to intensify. And that is a rush. But, the weird part is, you only feel it with that one person.
What are you saying?
I could care less about her desires anymore. I desires to keep away from women or western women absolutely which is why I'm MGTOW to stay. I'll be applying for Russian citizenship soon to live where men are still allowed to exist and have a say.
If that works for you, well, you are free “to go your own way.”
What do you want
@Samanthaxoxo1 I'm not sure what you're question is. I need something more specific.
What kind of women are you looking for that is different from Americans
@Samanthaxoxo1 A woman that hasn't let herself go, isn't a pierced tattooed up freak. And I'm not looking for her in America either. Why? The laws, they system in America are designed against men and they're still going at it today. Women and the gov waste no time finding ways to oppress men. It's not that way where I'm going.
Are you taking any meds
@Samanthaxoxo1 No sorry not taking any right now. I was taking yours and evidently you ran out.
Oh that’s where it went
@Samanthaxoxo1 I'm pretty sure everything had your name on it, custom mental med's just for you.
Hmmm
woah, are you okay?
@sugarchateau I suppose she's ok, she ran out of her meds. Me? Yeah I'm fine.
I really hope you are okay, let me know how Russia goes! I love Russia as well, but for different reasons lol.
@sugarchateau I'll let you know as soon as I have my green card.
Awesome
Thank you.
Very good mytake, well written and makes a lot of sense
Thank you, much appreciated.
Look at all the down votes I got for agreeing with most of your mytake, lol
Yeah, some people went through and down voted everyone who remotely agreed. Doesn't make sense. If you don't like it, just move on. There was only person I had a problem with. Once I found out what the problem was, I was good. I don't think there's a problem anymore. But the rest, c'mon, really?
Yeah true
Too traditional for my tastes.. you're describing very, very cookie-cutter style women.
I'd rather go for the dominant women, the unique women who are in the minority due to their alien philosophies and perception. Normal views and perceptions are.. boring and uninspired.
There was too much information to go into any kind real detail. If I tried I would have alienated a large portion of those that basic information could at least point in the right direction. So, in short, it's written for a wide audience. I might have something later on that may be of better use.
Feels like we’re in the minority too because our stupid culture where sex is all about men abusing and dominating women and fifty shades of gray. Poor women like me who like to be on equal footing shockingly or maybe dominant feel like there's something wrong with us. Maybe there’s something wrong with everyone else.
@Samanthaxoxo1 I don't know where you are getting that I want to dominate and abuse women. Or, where sex is all that man. I was talking about what the man can do for the woman. And what most (according the research I found) women will give in return for him doing that. Where are you getting abuse, dominating, fifty shades of gray nonsense from? I am not advocating that.
You said when she comes home she wants to surrender to his lead What the hell If that’s true why didn’t I like being yelled at and forced to do sexual things I didn’t want to when I came home Women doesn’t equal surrendering
@Samanthaxoxo1 Okay. I get where you are coming from now. Wow, we are way on two different planets here. First, I'm going to say the 'man' you were with is an ass. He deserves to burn in hell. I'm also truly sorry you went through that. When I say surrender to his lead, I mean it in a loving relationship context. It's not a physical surrender, it's an emotional giving. If he comes to give her a kiss, she returns it because she wants to, not because she is forced. If later in the night he suggests they shower together, she does it because she wants to. Not because she was told to, or out of some obligation. If dinner isn't made, he takes the lead, and plans a night out. He DOES NOT yell or beat her because dinners not made, and on the table at 5:30. My God, I'm only talking about loving a woman so much that it hurts. Then finding out what she needs so she can love just as much back. I am sorry for what you went through. But, that is not what I'm talking about, in the least.
You’re sorry for what I went through but you still think women want their hair pulled and slapped during sex And why should only a woman surrender emotionally, seems like an unstable relationship
Ok sorry that’s not what you meant
Good take
Thank you.
Thanks dud e
Not a problem. Hope it helps.