Tips for unsatisfied sexual desires in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I've been together with my boyfriend for 3 years now and our sex life is kind of boring. He doesn't have any kinks and if I suggest some of mine he just laughs or simply says "no" (because they're either "too kinky" or "too weird"). Not only that, but you can literally count the times we've had sex on both hands. It doesn't excite me at all anymore, I don't know what to do and it makes me feel a little depressed and worthless.

[CallMeDave]

I have a few questions for you to try to understand the situation better.

Why have you only had sex so few times in three years? Is it because he doesn't want to have even basic vanilla sex? (If so, do you know why? Most guys at your age want sex a lot.) Is it because basic vanilla sex isn't interesting to you so you don't want it if he won't do the things you want to do? Do you just not feel passion for each other so you don't often even think about it?

Do you think the things you want to do are "too kinky" or "too weird"? Like is it fairly common stuff (like role plays, spanking and things like that) or something pretty unusual that not many people would like?

How is the non-sexual part of your relationship? Do you feel like you love and respect each other?

I can certainly understand feeling frustrated and maybe a little depressed, but why do you feel worthless? Just because you and he don't seem to be on the same page sexually doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Many couples have issues in their sex life, so you're certainly not alone with that.

What to do about it probably depends on the answers to the questions I asked, but it does seem like something needs to be done. That doesn't sound to me like a healthy sex life (unless both of you are happy with it and it sounds like you at least aren't and maybe he isn't either).

[Being_a_good_Indian]

- Talk to each other. They're not making stuff up when they say communication is key! - Ask for what you want. Simply put, they won't know that something is wrong if you don't tell them.- Keep finances and family out of the bedroom. - Don't focus on the length of time.- Keep flirting. Any queries? https://image. marriage. com/advice/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Understanding-the-Stress-and-Sexuality-Connection. jpg

[Being_a_good_Indian]

[Being_a_good_Indian]

I hope you aren't looking for someone to satisfy your unfulfilled fantasies.

[Karin_Anna]

There are many facets in a relationship, sexual compatibility is one of them! If you have desires or needs, you ideally would like your partner to at least be open to the idea of them or be able to discuss them.

Good sex is a key component in a relationship, some may disagree but the sexually free will agree.

If you feel that you are not getting what you need out of a relationship, you should end it if you are not willing to settle for less.

My partner and I have an amazing sex life together, he doesn't do everything but he is okay with me playing outside our relationship. Only because he can't give me what I need, that is the touch of a woman...

If he said no, I would be ok with that because we have great sexual compatibility.

It is not fair on yourself.

[DestinyElizabeth04]

I normally dont say this but in this case, I would leave him. Reason being is pretty simple.. without sexual satisfaction the relationship is destined to fail. When someone becomes sexually depraved it leads to infidelity, depression, self image issues and insecurities in general that can actually affect you when it comes to sparking up a relationship with someone else. He, to put it lightly, is neglecting you both physically and mentally at this point and not one single person deserves that.

[AmandaYVR]

"Both hands" in 3 years? That doesn't even sound like a relationship. Especially not at your age. There are obviously bigger issues here than just boring sex.

[Mikelaughs]

He really should pay more attention to your needs
It sounds like he isn't into anything adventurous!
We can discuss more , but not here where others can see:)

[Arjunaguy]

If he doesn't want to try new things and try to bring back the fire in the related. I don't see why you are still together when he isn't even trying

[jspl90]

Eeeh? When was the first time you had sex with him? If it was like a month ago sure but a year man it sounds off🙈

[magiusX26]

sounds like sexual incompatibility. time to find another boyfriend.

[Iron_Man]

Find a guy to get married and have pure true love with

[ask4any]

Be in bed with another chic when he comes home from work sometime. See what happens.

[SicilianSlice]

You should be hitting me up

[sri90]

Seems you have tried all kind of sex plays / acts with him so must be running out of new ideas... May be u guys can take some break n start fresh

[mrgspoter]

I think you know but what do u want to do?

[jirwin7979]

i have the same issue but im in an open relash