To all the men I need your help?

So I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me he has sex with other many women raw no condom He tells me when he has sex with me it’s love but when he has sex with other women he has no feelings towards them it’s hate it’s just sex I don’t understand this doesn’t make sense he says he loves me and he wants to be with me only Men please help because I’m desperate to understand I don’t know what else to do other than walk away and yes I will be getting tested but the question is if a Man loves a woman so much why is he having sex with other women?
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • There's two parts of this, and I'm going to answer them both since you asked.

    YES, a man can have sex with other women and not care about those other women - for him, it's JUST sex, and he has no romantic feelings for her, only sexual attraction, and sometimes not even particularly strong sexual attraction. All men have a drive not just to have sex, but to "spread their seed" across multiple partners. It's a successful reproductive strategy from long ago that we still have instincts for. So, that part is probably true: he doesn't love any of those other women - some he may barely "like." For him, it was JUST sex.

    Now, as for the other part: does he love you? While I'm sure he has SOME feelings for you, he clearly cares more about his own desires and less about the hurt he caused you. He's selfish and self-centered - a narcissist. And if that's true, I'm sure he's selfish and self-centered in other ways too. As I said, most men have the same desires for other women, but we deny those desires because we love our women and don't want to hurt them. It's not always easy, but most of us do that. The selfish or amoral ones don't.

    Further, he certainly doesn't care if he brings back an STD to you. He doesn't care if he gets one himself either, obviously. Like virtually all men, I hate condoms and work hard to get into relationships so they're no longer necessary, but if I'm having sex with a new partner or not monogamous, condoms are a necessary evil, as much as I hate them. Your husband certainly knows that they're necessary too, but he isn't used to having to use them, and won't be inconvenienced, even if he risks both himself and you. That really tells you how much he cares about his own pleasure above everything else.

    He may have sexual addiction, but it's far more likely that he's just self-centered and only wants to do what he wants. If that's the case, then he's not going to change, and you need to come to grips with that reality, and either decide if you're going to continue to allow that, or leave him, because those are almost certainly your only options.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If monogamy is your only choice of a relationship, then leave.

    This is because some guys just polygamous and won't change even after marriage.

    I know its sad, but that's an unspoken known truth in guys. Ya, we're the "weaker" gender in this regard. You girls can say, "I commit" and most can live by it. Some guys simply can't.

    Hence, as many had written, leave, to avoid greater heartbreak.

Most Helpful Girls

  • If he's not loving you the way you deserve to be loved, it needs to end.
    Cheating aside, he didn't even do it carefully so has put you at risk of god knows what.
    Whatever he says, that's not love; and not what you signed up for.

  • If he really loved you- he would never want to intentionally hurt you. And he should know that cheating is something that is going to break your trust in him and hurt you.
    It is a flimsy excuse for his awful behaviour.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 16
  • Some men just cannot be monogamous. This may be one of those. If you can't handle it, time to move on.

  • Dump him immediately and also get tested for an STD. He is a looser.

  • Simple answer: HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU.

  • He's lying to you. He says he loves you because he knows that's what will make you put up with him treating you terribly. If he really loved you he wouldn't hurt you by cheating.
    Dump his ass. Find someone who will actually value you

  • I would trust him about as far as I could throw a battleship! He has revealed his true colors.
    Time to find a guy who is going to be "true blue" to YOU.

  • He's not monogamous.

  • He’s putting you at risk, if you respect yourself you will leave

  • He separates love and sex

  • The fact that he admits it is creepy.
    If you don’t want to get something from those other pussys, I’d dump his ass quickly.

  • most men are Dogs... I am a man... if opportunity arises... a man will fuck it. BUT a good man will not, find a good man

  • He's not monogamous and if you're not okay with it, leave him.

  • drop this lying sack of shit.

  • Some people, men and women alike, cannot confine themselves to just one person sexually, they may love just one

  • He has proven he doesn't love you. Side note, if you were taking his semen in your vagina, you should get STD tested.

  • I had a woman like that.
    She fucked 3 other guys with no condom and I made her get tested before we broke up.
    She said she loved me too, but once a person gets a taste for cheating it's like a wild animal that gets a taste of blood and won't stop killing.
    She's now a lifelong cheater, she's addicted to it and can't be monogamous.

  • i would leave him i am in an open relash due to being cheated on in the past i only have no condom sex with a girl if she is clean and free of stds and i hide nothing from my current girlfriend

  • There are tons of guys who can’t even get one girl in their lives and then there’s girls like this who stick with their man despite him banging other women.

    DUMP HIM. That should’ve been your default response to this.