Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Too many modern men are trying to use things like shame and force to push women into their femininity rather than creating a safe container for their femininity to flourish. This is how modern men, who want a traditional dynamic, are shooting themselves in the foot. Men will never experience the fully embodied divine femininity of a woman until they fully embody their divine masculinity.
First, let's define what divine femininity & masculinity are:
All human beings have feminine and masculine energies, physically this is reflected in sex hormone levels. Men have mainly testosterone but will become sick if they have no estrogen. Women have mainly estrogen but will become sick if they have no testosterone.
Femininity and masculinity must be balanced within each person before they enter a relationship, everyone's balance is unique to them.
How does this play out in life?
A woman might deeply enjoy being in her masculine energy in her career and then need her husband to create a safe container within their relationship to relax into her feminine when she gets home. She might love expressing her creativity in a free-flowing way but also need time in the outdoors and physical exertion like skiing, swimming, or backcountry hikes. I know I definitely do!
Femininity is not entirely soft, there is a "wild woman" archetype that also needs to be expressed in a healthy way as well as the softer mother and maiden archetypes and the wisdom of the crone. The wild woman always gets forgotten because she sounds scary! But the wild woman is FUN! It's the wild woman in her full ecstatic expression when your woman wants to spontaneously jump in the river or dance in the rain with you! It's the wild woman tangling her fingers in your hair and kissing you hard, she's not bad or scary, she's just bold and free. (she is also sometimes referred to as the enchantress, you can see why!)
* I will also mention that even young women have an inner crone too, some more than others, she represents inner wisdom and acquired knowledge and she enjoys teaching those she loves about her passions and helping guide them to good decisions.
Everyone's balance of feminine and masculine is different. A man might enjoy being in leadership and planning adventures with his friends but he could naturally fall into a very nurturing expression of himself with his family, especially with his children. Another man might be extremely connected to his creative side in his career and balance this by designing logical systems for running his home.
My dad, for example, got an almost primal enjoyment out of watching me eat the food he prepared or by packing my lunch in high school and leaving encouraging notes for me to find, so he'd know I felt loved even at school. My cousins used to joke that his monkey brain was saying "Me feed baby! Baby healthy and strong now! Me good father!"
Many men try to suppress their nurturing side believing it is effeminate and weak even though feminine traits can have masculine expressions and vice versa. These are natural impulses that give men more fulfillment, usually in their interpersonal relationships! - nurturing your children and sharing your softer side with them makes them love, trust, and respect you! Who could have guessed!?? And children who love, trust, and respect you mean you have a strong family! If you go to the zoo and observe orangutans you will see older males behaving just like human grandpas and snatching their grandkids away from their parents "Hey! It's Grandpa's turn to play with the baby!!"
* Keep in mind that some of the immature expressions of the masculine archetypes can be fine as long as they are balanced by a mostly mature expression! For example, the dreamer can be very attractive and endearing to a woman as long as the man is generally stable in his life and doesn't let his dreamer tendencies lead him astray. The masochist can also be fun as long as it is contained to the bedroom and doesn't lead to a man getting off on his own misfortunes and mistreatments in real life (self-harm). The momma's boy can be sweet as long as his closeness with his mother doesn't negatively impact his romantic relationship, or see his wife being forced into a mothering role for him when his mother isn't around! The sadist is also enjoyed by some women in the bedroom but he needs to still have a deep respect for his partner and not let it take over his day-to-day life, or he's simply an abuser.
Women can't "submit" to struggle!
The word "submission" gets thrown around a lot because of biblical language being falsely attributed to human nature (yeah, come for me in the comments I don't care! Not everyone has to be Christian). In reality, it is not "submission" men truly need from a woman but receptiveness. A man provides stability and a woman receives that stability and uses it to create peace and enjoyment for both people as a partnership/family. A man provides proof over and over again that he can be trusted, a woman receives that devotion and trusts his leadership. Women are meant to surrender to good things, a woman's surrender is a gift to her and her partner, it is not a punishment for not being male, as the bible would have people think. A man provides a feeling of safety and a woman surrenders to the pleasure he wants to give her whether that is sexual or in the form of an experience or mutually vulnerable emotional connection.
When it comes to money, the common saying is "buy a woman a house and she will make it into a home." which is a bit simplified but it still applies. Men provide, women receive, and they create something even better! It even extends to biology, men provide a seed, women receive it and if they are in an environment of stability, trust, and love, they choose to create a baby, and thus a family.
Where modern men are getting tripped up is by feeling entitled to always be in their feminine receiving energy OR by expecting slavish obedience just because he financially provides (and then devaluing the work his wife does for their family while he's at work!)
If a man wants a fully "traditional" relationship where a woman does not work he is going to have to create unshakable stability for her to be able to feel safe enough to do that. This means that men who are not yet established in their careers and fully financially stable should not be looking for a traditional woman until they have that strong foundation in place first.
What is required for a fully traditional woman?
- Financial stability and literacy: A woman sacrificing her career and ability to make her own money is an extreme act of trust. Especially because any extended time out of the workforce hurts her chances of getting a decent job if the man betrays her or can no longer provide.
- Sexual discipline: She needs to know that he is a mature man with self-control who will not cheat, be suckered into harmful fetishizes by porn, develop a porn addiction, or worst of all sexualize/abuse his own daughter/s.
- Emotional maturity: A lot of men do not build emotionally strong bonds with their male friends so while a woman might think "I can vent to my friend about this issue, my husband has had a rough week already!" a man will expect his woman to hear allllll of his problems until she is overwhelmed and becomes resentful. You wouldn't put all of your problems on the shoulders of one singular friend, so why do it to your partner? Emotionally mature men have a mentor they can talk to, or even their grandma or grandpa! They seek therapy as a preventative measure and not to try and fix what is already crumbling beyond repair. They cry if they need to and release and work through their emotions before they explode onto the nearest person (usually their wife) and hurt someone they love. They engage in practices like meditation, journaling, and exercise to manage their emotions instead of expecting their woman to manage their emotions for them (again putting her into the very unsexy mother-of-a-grown-man role!)
- Respect for her intelligence: This is the woman who will be helping you raise your children! If you don't think she's smart why are you with her??? If you don't think she is smart enough to make the right decisions what does that say about her decision to trust and build a life with YOU??? Just because a woman is a stay-at-home wife doesn't mean she is any less intelligent than you are. Even if she doesn't have a corporate career she will still have personal passions. She may need a little extra support, like a weekly or monthly cleaning service, so she can write a book or start a small business, and as her life partner, you should support her in that! (Notice how "supportive" is on both sides of the Venn diagram? If she supports your goals and passions you should support hers!) Plus, if she doesn't just feel like a machine that makes milk and cleans up she will remain passionate with you in the marriage!
- A deep understanding of the value of her roles: Too many men with stay-at-home wives devalue their contributions and accuse them of "sitting around on the couch all day" if the house isn't spotless. Nothing can replace a mother's time spent with her children and beyond this the monetary value of all of the services provided by a stay-at-home wife is astronomical. Instead of spoiling and providing for one woman, you would have to pay for a surrogate, a wetnurse, a cleaning service, an escort, a driver for the kids, a personal shopper, a professional organizer, a personal chef, a family secretary, a laundry service, a home nurse, a tutor for the kids, a nanny, a therapist, a gardener, an event planner, a professional potty trainer (yes those exist! lol rich people!) etc. etc. etc.
Is your head spinning yet?? It is much cheaper to just provide for your family and get your wife gifts/ plan dates to show your appreciation!
A man in his feminine receiving energy overworks his wife to an early grave!
50/50 relationships and strictly traditional gender roles do not mix!!! When a woman is working, paying half the bills, AND taking on the bulk of household chores, the mental load of organizing family/household, and childcare she will be pushed into a single mother mindset. Only it's WORSE, because not only is she a single mother to her children but she is also mothering her man! Nothing and I mean NOTHING will kill sexual attraction faster than this! The man will begin to resent his wife for "withholding sex" and the wife will be too exhausted to even really participate in her own marriage, this is why women married to men die sooner than women who are not. It is in our power to change this!
50/50 relationships can work beautifully as well as long as both partners keep a balance between the polarities.
If the man realizes that his working wife is just as tired as he is after work and takes responsibility for half of the housework and child care she will still have the space to relax into her feminine flow, and her sensuality, which will be a great reward for him!
Here a man can embody his masculine provider instinct by thinking of his wife on the way home from work and picking up some of her favorite pastries or by planning regular dates and adventures. He can figure out what is needed for the household without his wife having to write him a list and she can come home, know that he's got the pet food stocked up and the kid's favorite snacks in the cupboard, and have way more mental space for an intimate connection with him!
Buy her a sexy new dress, lay it on the bed and tell her to get ready, the kids are already at their grandparent's house, and you have a whole date night planned out. Her man has taken charge and she doesn't have to worry about anything, her man has it all planned out, she just needs to relax into her feminine and enjoy. Surprise her with a bubble bath and movie tickets if you get off work before her, it can be simple too! Your wife will be excited to come up with her own little surprises for you in return. Especially, when she is given the space to only worry about half of the duties of running the house! There will be new lingerie under her sun dress that she gives you a mischievous peak of during dinner, or secretly purchased tickets to a sports game you want to see. 50/50 can provide fun opportunities to play around with the masculine and feminine polarities too!
So men! Step out of your whiny little boy "gimme" energy and embrace your mature divine masculinity. Trade clowns like Fresh And Fit for Kings like Byermeas a revolution is coming and you don't want to get left behind!
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