Sexual Relationships
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True or False? It's better to have your heart broken honorably than have a straying partner? Or Best to end it before seeking affection elsewhere?

It seems everytime I was at the gym or turning on the radio this song would be on.

It reminds me of the first time I was cheated on. I was young and a Junior in highschool. My boyfriend since 7th grade cheated on me with my best friend. I discovered this when my best friend yanks my boyfriend from my arms as we were in the middle of a hug and kiss. She snapped at my boyfriend saying "stop being a pussy and tell her already! You're sleeping with me" Then she dragged him away while he had one arm outstretched towards me.

So because I wasn't ready to loose my V card and he wanted sex he sought it out with my all too easy Bestie. The betrayal hurt like hell. I honestly can still remember the stinging sensation that shot through my heart.

To this day I can't decide if it was a good thing I was informed and dealt that painful blow or would it have been better never to have known since they broke up a few months later? Though a big part of me feels and wishes he had simply had the guts to break up with me gently and gone his separate way.

On the other hand I learned how much it hurts to be cheated on making me aware of how much it would hurt a partner if I myself was to stray. But did I really need to experience heartache to come to such a conclusion? Is it not safe to say such a thing is simply common sense?

And besides common sense there is my own conscience... Cheating or simply having the thought of cheating would fill me with guilt turmoil and shame.

What do you think?

True or False? Its better to have your heart broken honorably than have a straying partner? Or Best to end it before seeking affection elsewhere?
TRUE: I rather have my heart broken kindly than have a cheating partner because it would hurt more to be betrayed. Or I rather end a relationship respectfully than hurt a lover worst by cheating.
Vote A
FALSE: Either way will hurt or I rather not know my partner was unfaithful and keep our relationship. Or breaking up is painful either way so I rather keep my straying on the down low and stay with a long term partner.
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • I have never cheated on a partner but I have had two girlfriends (at least two of whom I am aware) who cheated on me. If I ever cheated on a partner, I would be horribly disappointed with myself. MUCH better to just break up and THEN start looking for someone else!

    • Yes I certainly do agree it is best to break up and then go with the other

    • Thanks for MHO!

  • It may sound crazy but I think it was actually a good thing learning young that life can sometimes life be cruel but it taught that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, you can forgive but not forget, and Karma (Good or Bad) what goes around comes around

    • I recall running to the guidance counselor in tears. I told her my story. Her response was to hand my a tissue box and say "I understand how painful this change must be for you". Her words sunk in on me like a pile of bricks. This was not elementary school. This was not a case of "so and so won't be my friend or play with me" There will be no teacher mediation saying "we are all friends here and every is going to play together" There was no time out. no lunch detention as a consequence. This was real life now. The painful truth, my boyfriend and my best friend both for over 4yrs, and I were now done. It sunk in hard and fast. Just like that Our group was shattered and it left me out. Alone, At least for that moment. I blew my nose wiped my tears stood up straighten my back and with my head held high I nodded and left.

    • you are 100% correct. i guess what people are taught nowadays is FEAR which is an acronym for Frustration Ego Anger Resentment.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 12

  • like the old saying, itis better to have loved than never have lived at all

  • FALSE: Either way will hurt or I rather not know my partner was unfaithful and keep our relationship. Or breaking up is painful either way so I rather keep my straying on the down low and stay with a long term partner.

  • I said true. I had my heartrippedoud of my chest and stomped on by somebody that just decided the best way to dump me was to show up someplace that she knew i would beand bring her new boyfriend.

    • Ouch rough not right

    • @exitseven That is really horrible.

  • End it, then move on.

  • Well kitty you seem like a very mature woman now and fun to talk to so somehow despite that setback you still manage to become a good person overall and didn't turn you bitter. well it might have for a time but as far as i can tell you don't seem that way now.

    I used to not be a great person either. i let things get to me too much and was a bitter constantly angry person. i wasn't betrayed like you were but i had dealt with being unfulfilled in life and letting it affect my overall mental health.

    Now though i manage to overcome that.. and i feel like a large part of it is going through the journey to get here. you learn lessons every step of the way until you become the person you are today.

    so i truly believe despite how shitty that moment was for you that the lessons you learned from that have shaped you into who you are now. you might say things might have been better if you never knew about it but you can't predict what that future you would be like. its likely you might have become something you don't recognize or are uncomfortable with. there's too many what ifs in that scenario to tell how you would be without that very harsh lesson.

    "But did I really need to experience heartache to come to such a conclusion? Is it not safe to say such a thing is simply common sense? "

    I would say yes... you maybe needed that lesson. it was still terrible and no one 'should' do that to anyone but it still did happen and this lesson was something that helped you become the you we know today.

    I will vote True in the poll. i like to always know things that may hurt me. things don't get to me nearly as much as they used to so i almost dare it to happen lol. let it affect me... and then let me learn from it.

    Hope i made sense here. feel free to disagree if you like.

    Tl;dr version: I vote yes that lesson was necessary for you to be the you today.

    • do i sound like im making sense here? what do you think? lol.

    • Yes I understand. It's nicely explained. It very was a growing up life lesson!

    • alright cool lol thought you might've been like 'pfft what does he know?" :P anyways keep on keeping on miss. i think you're doing fine as a person :)

    • Show All

  • Yes, I think so.

  • Yikes. I rather have them break my heart and loose contact with me

  • For men, having a cheating woman is not only painful, it's deeply humiliating.

    • @krakenattackin It's humiliating that's for sure! I very much recall the shame my cheeks ablaze and wanting to hide from the on lookers. I was humiliated openly in public during school lunch in the middle of the court yard. The Snickers that follow for the days to come until the newest gossip and next grand scandal occurred which took me out of the spot like was just as painful as the breakup especially since the teasing simply kept reminding me of what he had done. And it only led to more teasing... His humiliation led to the school kids to gather and play a cruel prank on me months later On a valentines day... Yes being cheated on does bring this brooding sense of shame...

  • Having been cheated on, I'd prefer a regular break-up.

  • 25 years later this is still on your mind? Any idea why?

    • Like I said the song being played on the radio again triggered the memory

    • sound and smell are very powerful and likely to evoke memories

    • Oh yeah and if memory serves me right that song was released around the time the heartache originally occurred so the remix definitely triggered the old memory

    • Show All

  • How's your improvement?

  • I don't know I guess that all depends

  • Completely true

  • I have no experience on either. But I would say it's better to have then just say it isn't working for them and breaking up. It's even shittier if they would cheat I believe.

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