Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Turned down for sex than woke up to her doing her in the shower?

Going on four years with my chick. I haven't had sex with my girlfriend in 6-8months. She said it's because she hasn't been feeling like it. Which I get because we've been pretty stressed out.

I don't know I've been trying to remove the stress and romance her again and actually start flirting with her again. We just actually went on a early morning hike to catch then sunrise, it was dope. Anyway last night, I tried to have sex again and she turned it down. I took it okay, I kissed her goodnight and rubbed her back until she fell asleep.

This morning I woke up earlier than normal and went to take a piss and walked in on her doing her thing in the shower. I didn't say anything. I just finished peeing and started making us coffee. Buy it kinda upset me and I don't know if I'm being stupid for feeling upset but I feel like if you aren't in the mood for sex for 6-8months than why are you rubbing it out when you think you are alone.

I told her I'd be willing to learn new stuff in the bedroom and open up communication on what feels good and what doesn't if I'm not satisfying her and she says that I do. So I don't know
2 1

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • Something is very wrong. The obvious thing is to talk to her about it. I suspect that won't do any good, but it's still the thing to do.

    As other said, it sounds like she is not into you that way any more. It's become a platonic relationship not a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship. You guys have basically become room mates.

    It also appears that both of you are OK with it enough to keep things as they are. Maybe out of convenience, habit, or whatever. Maybe you get along. Separating means moving into a new unknown part of your life. It's easy to be comfortable with a known, even if it's not ideal. You feel comfortable around each other. She feels safe around you, which can be a big thing. But it's no longer a romantic relationship.

    I've been through that myself. It was not a "real" relationship, but somehow it still worked for both of us. Ultimately we needed to move on. It didn't matter that it was sort of OK as it was. It kept us from moving on and finding the right person. So we called it off. No ill feelings. It had been a long time since we had that spark. We needed to get on with our lives, but we were holding each other back because we had grown comfortable with a platonic relationship.

    When we were going through that, it actually felt OK at the time. In hindsight I felt like I missed out on a period of life when I really should have been looking for someone. Time is the most valuable thing you have in life. Once you spend it, you can't get it back.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Why you tolerate that shit? most guys in your place would had cheated and/or leaved.

    https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImAManICantHelpIt

    • I don't know man I guess its just feels weird and wrong to be intimate with another woman when I'm committed to someone else. I just feel like I couldn't properly get off.

    • Are you for real? how can you tolerate a woman who is drying you out for 6-8months? are you a man in that relationship or not? you should put an ultimatum, if she not start putting out again then you leaving, you don't have much to lose, a girlfriend like her don't worth much anyway. You should not kissed her, she don't deserve any kissing, and when you caught her doing her thing alone you should started a fight over it, because she don't that shit at your expense. That story is pathetic, you too forgiving for her, look like she emasculated you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell her how you feel. It is ridiculous that shed deny you for that long but then be getting her self off. y'all need to work it out. Either fix the issue or leave. Something has gotta change cause being in a sexless realtionship isn't healthy.

    • I agree yeah. I just thought it was stress and shit so I wasn't pushing it. I just miss how her and I use to have sex 3-4 times a week. I just hoping maybe her and I would get back to that but I guess you're right. I just gotta open up and talk with her.

    • Yeah I feel you. My guy rejects me sometimes but we still manage to have sex a few times a week. I can't imagine it being months without sex. There is something definitely wrong there. Maybe it's with her like she feels insecure when having sex so she's avoiding it. There could be other reasons too so hopefully y'all can work on it if she's willing

    • Dont give up her just yet either. The easy thing to do would be cheat or leave her but if you truly love eachother you can work through any issue.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 8

  • I can see not wanting to go through the whole rigamarole of sex (masturbation is definitely faster and simpler if you just want to get off), but that's more a one-off thing. If this has been going on for months, I think you've got deeper problems.

    • Yeah for sure I mean we all do our thing sometimes over having sex especially when we just don't have the time or desire to go full throttle. I feel you though, thank you for your advice.

  • You are totally justified in feeling bothered by that. Explain your concerns to her just like you have here.

  • Pack your bags and leave... its dead

  • So... talk to her about it

    • Yeah I just didn't know if I was maybe overreacting by feeling this way.

    • So... talk to her and find out

  • Read the writing on the wall dude she is going to leave you soon she doesn't want sex from you because she doesn't like you that way anymore. It happened to me just the same the girls will stick around due to rent obligations or children but they still need sex regularly but she is avoiding it with you. I would dump her for lacking passion it could freak her out and start to miss you. I didn't do this with my ex. i simped and begged her to stay but the ship had already sailed. Good luck

    • Man well I guess you're right. I just don't really understand why she wouldn't just tell me she's unhappy. I mean I just want her happiness and my happiness. If I'm making her unhappy I guess I'd just rather be told so we both can move on properly. It's not okay to feel stuck anywhere. Thanks for the advice.

    • Yea maybe they dont want the awkward talk. My ex was still friendly she just avoided sex like the plague towards the end I felt like a rapist just trying to be intimate. We had sex a lot when i first met her so i knew it was unusual she pulled the plug as soon as she got her own place.

    • That's exactly how it is dude. It's like everything else is normal. We still have fun together. We still laugh and joke around together. We go on dates and tease each other. It's like everytime sex is in the air, she's too tired, has a headache or just lays there's and it makes it weird so I stop because I feel like I'm raping her. Fuckin women, and they say that we have problems communicating... Yeah okay. 👊🏼

  • Something is wrong. Have a talk with her.

  • You're clearly wasting your time with her then. Time to find someone that isn't selfish and immature

  • Most likely she’s not sexually attracted to you.

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