Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Ever since the Twilight and Fifty Shades books and films came out, there has always been this simmering debate over whether both Edward Cullen and Christian Grey were abusive towards their respective partners, Bella Swan and Anastasia Steele. I think for one of them, it's hard to argue against the abuse, but for the other, it's much harder to make a clear cut case for abuse.
So what is domestic abuse? Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence. Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.
The 15 common signs of a partner who is abusive are that:
1. He pushes for quick involvement. You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
2. There's constant jealousy.
3. He's controlling.
4. He has very unrealistic expectations.
5. There's isolation. He tries to cut you off from family and friends, deprives you of a phone or car, or tries to prevent you from holding a job.
6. He blames others for his own mistakes.
7. He's hypersensitive.
8. He's cruel to animals and children.
9. He makes everyone else responsible for their feelings. The abuser says, "You make me angry" instead of "I'm angry."
10. His uses "playful" force during sex. He enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will; he finds the idea of rape exciting. He intimidates, manipulates or forces you to engage in unwanted sex acts.
11. There's verbal abuse.
12. There are rigid gender roles in the relationship. He expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
13. He has sudden mood swings.
14. He has a past of battering.
15. He threatens violence.
The whole idea of someone dominating someone else is very much in line with what an abuser does. They seek ultimate control and submission of another person through acts of violence, fear, and emotional and physical abuse. However, nothing Christian did with Ana was without her express consent. Every act of violence or aggression towards her was first and foremost, spelled out to her verbally and/or literally in writing. Anna was sometimes shown what Christian was going to do to her and/or warned ahead of time before any hand was ever laid on her verbally and then behind it with the written stipulation that anything she didn't want to do with him, she was to inform him and he of course either never attempted the banned written items with her or would stop in the act if she requested it---all of which he did in the film.
Abusers don't stop. They don't ask permission. They don't have rules on what they will or won't do to their victims. They act without any restraint or care for their victims. There was never a moment in the film where Ana was tied up, or hit, or not allowed to leave the premises, or forced to go or stay anywhere with the Christian character against her permission or her free will. Even in the belt scene near the end, he told her, "I'm going to hit you five times," and she willingly allows him to do so, literally prostrates before him. He didn't hold her or tie her down or force her to get hit in the scene. I don't know what to tell you. If you're a person who gets pleasure from pain, and its given and received between two consenting legal adults, that's their freaky business just as what you willingly do in the bedroom is your own freaky business.
If you think about it, we could say in the case of Christian, that he is no different than two boxers in the ring. Both tell each other and/or know that the other is going to hit them and that it may very much hurt or result in scars, bruising, bleeding, etc., but both agree to the action, sign the paperwork, and then knowingly and willingly proceed. There is a reason we do not call this assault! The fine line is drawn when someone is forced into that situation and gets beat up against their will without permission given which was never the case in Fifty Shades of Grey.
Although there were many things he did in the film that would lightly suggest the actions of an abuser like showing up on her family trip unannounced, or perhaps his jealousy of other men, or trying to dictate what she wore, again most of the actions were spelled out for her quite literally in writing and he gave her several opportunities to turn them down and to say she would not willingly submit to what he was asking of her. If someone literally tells you what they want and what they are going to do and you sign up and agree to it, really that's on you. Like you can't sue the boxer after he punches you in the face and you have a black eye if you agreed to box in the first place knowing the risks.
In the case of Edward Cullen, I would have to say between the two characters, they both had massive issues. In the films prior to their marriage, Edward spent quite a bit of time trying to unsuccessfully reject Bella outright. She learned of his vampirism and the danger surrounding him and the dangers of sex with him due to his superior to human strength, which she witnessed on more than one occasion, but she still stayed with him.
He did later on become somewhat possessive of her, but one could make the argument that his possessive acts, trying to shield her from family and friends were literally for her protection because they had some psycho vampires after them who had proven to be deadly to everyone involved in their sadistic games. Still, rather than divorce herself from someone clearly a danger to herself and her family, she chose to be there despite his family disappearing, his family warnings, Edwards warnings...I mean how much can someone tell you to leave them alone or you'll possibly die before you go, hmm, yeah, sounds like a great plan???
When the two do have sex, Bella of course wakes up all bruised up. It would be very difficult to argue that that was not abuse. She somehow doesn't feel like it hurt her, which from his reaction, he clearly knows it did. He knew from his prior knowledge that he would indeed hurt her as a human who could not handle vampire strength, but he still went ahead.
From that point on Edward spends a long while trying to avoid her physically to protect her from his strength (abuse) rather than to just keep pursuing sex with her and in turn causing more injury. That's not really in league with abusers who tend to want to take control physically, emotionally, and sexually of another person regardless of their pain or desire to stop, but when you know someone didn't ask to be hurt and they end up being all bruised up--sounds like the making of a solid court case against them.
What Girls & Guys Said
15 22If she's into it, it's not abuse
Did you know that 50 Sahdes is a fan fiction of Twilight that got popular.
They're the same book!! LOL.
In my opinion, if you like it, it's not abuse.
I don't think that much but some of your point sounds genuine
Who are you?
Anyways
He hit her 6 times by the way :P
Those are for masochistic women that are into into humiliators
With that 50 shades guy, even though it's consensual, what's it saying about a guy who gets off "whipping and chaining" a woman? (And I think he does something against her will at the end of the first movie - which is why she leaves him.)
Regarding Twilight, Edward ended up hurting Bella because he left her (to protect her from getting hurt, but he hurt her more by leaving her). On their honeymoon, he denied her physical intimacy because he didn't want to bruise her but, again, he hurt her emotionally by not respecting her wishes and making love to her.
For 50 shades of grey I don't know since I never watch the movie but for twilight I can say the both have an issue. This is not abuse they're just masochist honeslty.
They both had issues for sure, but I don't think you could classify Edward as a masochist. He didn't take pleasure from pain
But Bella surely does and Edward kinda too he abandon her and then want her back, reject her, etc... That's kinda fucked up.
Oh, fuck off with this political correctness bullshit. It's just a movie. Maybe you should complain about the planet of the apes movie, It's promoting violence against apes.
Nah, I'll write what I came here to write, and share what I came to share.
twilight Romantic sweet love story
fifty shades of grey is all about sex. Nasty Movie !
And the books are much worse form what I read, there is even clear rape parts there.
Why do people care? I'm genuinely asking.
It's like any other topic in the world. Some do, and some don't. A lot of people come to a topic and they like to say, who cares about this, but yet with so many commenting, clearly some people do. Ha, this isn't meant to change lives or anything, just another way to pass the time.
Fair enough.
The books, the movies, both are fiction; both equally disturbing, because so much of the general population believe they are real or have an basis in fact. Let's just dispense with the first concept over vampires and just take that out of the equation, because I don't want to get into a debate of whether or not they are real, but rather let's just focus on their behavior.
Both characters of either Edward and, well, let's just say the "Other" guy, are both classical cases of a male with a need to dominant another for his own personal amusement. What really burns me internally is the fact that people read these books, especially the "Fifty Shades of Grey" and have the ill-conceived notion that it has any real basis in reality when it comes to truly understanding the dynamics of the master/submissive or master/slave relationship.
For starters, it isn't about sex or sexual games. Let me repeat this: It is NOT about sex or sexual games or BDSM. What it is about, truly, is the uncompromising trust that develops between two individuals, one the Alpha, the other beta, and the unwavering, trusting, bond which forms between them to the point where no betrayal could ever be considered. They become a united pair.
One the Protector, the other the Nurturer. They form a union together with absolute trust in each other that cannot be broken. I've witnessed the bond so strong that if one was to tell the other to jump out of a window of a burning building, the other would do it, because they each know they are incapable of bringing the other lasting harm; they each knew they could trust the other with their lives.
The Fifty Shades of Grey, is merely about a Playboy rich kid with attachment issues who finds he gets sexual release by dominating another and whipping and/or flogging them, and it is absolutely nonsense. I am never one to say a book should be destroyed and I won't start now, because for those of us who know the differences, these books and these stories are teaching tools to show you exactly what NOT TO DO!
Lol read into BDSM. Smh...
If we're talking about the films I've never been forced to sit through more then the first twilight. It wasn't abuse but it wasn't exactly love either. More like "this is what everyone dreams of... love that cannot die" kind of fluffy crap. A bad film but not abuse.
The books however I have read all of them. I was a teenagers and my girlfriend was mad about it. There are not good books in terms of writing and it clearly had an abusive side. Emotionally it's got all the signs - threatening to leave (and leaving to be fair), claiming he is smarter and should make all the decisions. He even has his sister "kidnap" her to force her to stop seeing her one friend... who frankly isn't much better. So yes that's abusive.
Fifty shades I have never seen or read.
Did you realize that those two books/movies were fantasies?
Basically by your definition of abuse nearly every women is an abuser.
i did not have to reas this mytake to know that these books and movies are totally retarded.
9 1/2 weeks, which is what 50 shades copied is a great film though