Unattracted to my husband?

[Anonymous]

Back story I used to be so attracted to my husband, always wanting him, he would always turn me down.

Anyway

I now have a 2 month old and I have never been so unattracted to him and so unhappy.

He fights with me about who gets more sleep, which he does I can't even go to the toilet without my son on my lap, because if I give my son to my partner he will legit just fall asleep and drop bub. he has already dropped my baby.

Yet my partner now keeps going show daddy some love, which is the biggest turn off

1 because I'm tired

2 because I'm sore

And 3 because he's fighting with me over stupid shit - like years ago we agreed to have 100$ allowance each, which is for fuel, lunch smokes anything & now that I'm on maternity leave and not using my 100 on petty and lunch I am able to save it up quiet a lot. And he is saying how I shouldn't have a allowance now and how he is jealous that I can save and buy what ever I wawantand he can't

Like honestly wtf

I never see him do cute shit with my child ever either, i see all these other fathers kissing holding saying sweet things which makes me like then and resent mine

Just as the days go by I'm getting more and more turned off him and then he gets shitty that I refuse to touch him ( like back in the day he used to reject me all the time and preferred porn over me)

great confidence boost and now he won't leave me alone, will legit pull his dick out while I'm holding my son and ask for head

Like wtf is wrong with you, it passes me off

And when I tell him how I feel, he turns how I am feeling around on me

I don't know what to do

Too broke for a counsellor

[PrettyPriya]

You need to leave him. There was one sentence that really stuck out among many bad things you mentioned.

"will legit pull his dick out while I'm holding my son and ask for head"

That is the most despicable thing I have ever heard. It is bad enough he is negligent to the point of dropping his/your child, but that is just plain disgusting behaviour. I know you say that you are broke, so leaving is not going to be easy.

Do you have family/friends/relatives that can help out while you get this sorted? I know that is a burden, but if they know what is going on, any loving family member will help you.

My concern is his neglect at the two month point. Do you think it will get better or worse? Worse, for sure. What is next? Leaves your child in a hot car? I know this isn't going to be much help, and you are in just an awful situation but you need to leave and immediately.

Not being attracted to your husband is the least of your worries right now. The safety and well being of your child is.

[Asker]

I don't have anyone, like honestly, my family no longer talk to me, my friends moved across state I'm legit alone And what worries me is I have to go back to work in November and I can only do night shifts Only 4 hrs but I honestly don't trust him with him in the night Like he doesn't even try to stay awake

[PrettyPriya]

I'm so sorry. I really am. I feel so bad for you. Is there any social services help you can get? I'm sure if you explain the situation. Unfortunately, I am unlikely in the same country as you. Are you from the US or the EU? Best thing I can do is tag some very helpful users that might be able to give advice about what sort of help you might be able to get. I wouldn't trust him with your child either.

[Asker]

I'm in the aus And yes tagg them please 🙏

[PrettyPriya]

Let me send a message to an Australian user here that might be able to help. by the way, my fiancé is Aussie as well. He hasn't made it home yet this evening, but the second he does, I will ask him too.

[PrettyPriya]

I am going to tag my fiancé, who is a user here so he can have a direct notification to this question. He should be able to help. He was born/raised in Perth. @The_Koala

[PrettyPriya]

Should be home any minute.

[The_Koala]

Thanks Priya. Have you looked at raisingchildren. net. au? There are a lot of resources there. Also Google National Council for Single Mothers and their children. Had a mate of mine’s sister use their services. (NCSMC) ncsmc. org. au. They provide financial support.

[PrettyPriya]

Hmm, he is a new user, so I don't think he can do links yet. Let me try what he was trying to link you on.

https://www.ncsmc.org.au
raisingchildren.net.au/.../parent-family-services

Let's see if that works for links. He said that second link I put has loads of info and support services. I can get you in touch with him (my fiancé) in DM if you have more questions. I am not from Australia, so this is a bit out of my realm for advice.

[Asker]

Thank you so much

[PrettyPriya]

You are most welcome. He is more of a help than I will ever be. Anything else you need, let us know. I can have him DM you if you have specific questions. I also sent a DM to Nikki1989. She is from Australia as well and a moderator on the site. She may be able to provide extra help when she gets my message. Stay safe. ❤️

[Nikki1989]

These sites might be able to help or at least give you some advice.

https://www.mumsdelivery.com.au/support-for-single-mothers-australia/

https://beanstalkmums.com.au/support-single-mother/

https://www.ncsmc.org.au/

https://parents.au.reachout.com/common-concerns/everyday-issues/things-to-try-single-parenting-and-teenagers/support-options-for-single-parents

Good luck and let me know how you are doing.

[Guy13]

Hopefully it will pass. Pastors counsel for free. They actually have professional counseling degreed people on staff too.

[Apple1996]

I'd say give it some time to see if he comes around to being a better dad but if not you might want to consider leaving him...

[Agape93]

Honestly, a bitter pill, but you're probably best off getting a divorce. He doesn't respect you, he gaslight you, sexually harasses you whilst holding your kid and can't be bothered to do basic shit for you and the kid. And he complains that his WIFE can save? Wtf

[Agape93]

Also ignore anyone who says "oh I hope it'll pass" as if that's any help. Dude doesn't know his dick from shinola

[KatherineJ]

Girl, that isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Ignore the people who say “get a counselor”. What you need to do is take your baby and leave. That guy clearly isn’t intelligent enough to be around you, or a baby.

[Iron_Man]

Find a free marriage counselor go to a clinic do something. Get help from your local church