Using the pull out method...How do people do it?

[Anonymous]

This is all probably TMI but I'm curious and want some advice. I am on birth control but my current partner insists on using the pull out method as a backup. I have never done this in my life until now. Anyway, I guess my question is, how do people handle the mess? Does he just do it on your body, or do you have him do it elsewhere? Would it be permissible to maybe put a towel over me to catch it or would that ruin it for him? I want him to be happy with me sexually. Right now he just shoots it on me. How do other people do this?

[BlueCoyote]

I'm sorry to say this but your boyfriend is being very silly and seems to be badly informed on the topic for two reasons:
- When you are using a form of contraception (such as the pill) you are practically safe. Sure, it's only 99,7% and not 100% but for every-day life purposes you're effectively safe with birth control. But more importantly:
- The pull out method is NOT an effective method of contraception. Every doctor will tell you not to do this. If you're doing the pull-out method, you can as well not do anything at all. The pull-out method has been proven to have a failure rate of up to 70%. It is FAR more dangerous than any real form of contraception out there.

Now, in your case it doesn't really matter because you're still using actual contraception (luckily). So it's mostly your boyfriend ruining his own orgasm for no good reason. If he wants to that, okay. He can come on your stomach or boobs and wipe it off later. But please know that you should NEVER agree to the pull-out method if you're not on actual (chemical or hormonal or mechanical) contraception.

[Crazyced]

Out in the field the effectiveness drops. Why? Human error (or voluntary). That's probably what this guy is trying to avoid.

[BlueCoyote]

@Crazyced I don't really see what human errors can occur when using birth control to be honest. My girlfriend has been using the pill for a long time and it has never been a problem. She's got an alarm on her cell phone and when it goes off (always at 10.30 p. m.) she knows she has to take her pill. I myself have to take eye drops 4-5 times a day because I have a visual disability. It's something I don't even think about anymore, I just do it. It perhaps needs some self-discipline in the beginning but once it becomes a habit, it's just something you do, like you don't forget to eat or sleep. As for condoms, I don't think they're that easy to rip as some people like to say. If the girl happens to have very long nails, it makes sense for the guy to open the condoms. Problem solved. Don't open them with your teeth, problem solved. If you're not sure and you feel like you might have accidentally ripped a condom, just open a new one. I don't get what people find hard about contraceptives.

[Asker]

That 99.7% is theoretical effectiveness. In actual real world practice, the pill is about 92% effective. Pulling out actually has a failure rate of 27%. I think we'd be ok with just the pill but he wants the secondary protection and I can respect that.

[BlueCoyote]

Well, I can tell you from my own experience that this 92% is certainly a wrong number. That would mean that in every 100 sexual intercourses, you would become pregnant 8 times. Let's say you don't get pregnant every time the pill fails but you would still be at 3 or 4 pregnancies. If that number was correct, the pharmaceutical companies would be out of business. My girlfriend has been using the pill for the past 3 years (that's certainly much more 100 times of sex) and we've never had anything unplanned happen to us. There are people who have been using the pill for the past 10 or 15 years. And like I said, if you're using the pull-out method, you may as well pray to the Spaghetti monster or do nothing at all.

[Asker]

No it means after a year of use, 8 out of 100 women will become pregnant. That's how they determine effectiveness. Most of us do know someone who has gotten pregnant on the pill.

[BlueCoyote]

Do you? I certainly don't. But as I said, it's your choice and your sex life. I'm just telling you that the pill is PRETTY safe. If it wasn't, it wouldn't be sold and doctors wouldn't prescribe it. The pull-out method on the other hand is very dangerous. You can ask any professional gynecologist and they will tell you that you shouldn't use it.

[Asker]

I certainly do. A gynecologist will warn you about withdrawal due to the scientific failure rate. They will also tell you what the typical failure rate of the pill, or any form of birth control, is.

[Crazyced]

You cetainly don't what?

[Crazyced]

Also remember that he is using the pullout method ON TOP of the pill.

[BlueCoyote]

@Crazyced I don't know anyone who got pregnant on the pill. And yes, I know that. But it's pointless. Using the pull-out method on top of the pill is like using a paper parachute on top of the real one when you go skydiving. Her boyfriend might as well pray or ritually kill a pig before intercourse. That's about the effectiveness of the pull-out method.

[Crazyced]

Actually pull out mostly fails for the same reasons the pill does, human error. Pregnency from precum is in fact very rare. So your parachute analogy is wrong. If he's diligent about it, he has an effective insurence against getting screwed over.

[BlueCoyote]

@Crazyced No, you can't compare the two. In the case of the pill, it's hard to make a mistake. As I wrote further up in the dialogue, taking the pill diligently is not really a big deal. I can say that because I have to take medication daily (several times a day in fact) and it's not an issue. I've had to do it since I was a little child and I hardly ever missed/forgot it. You can even set yourself an alarm on the cell phone to be on the safe side, which is what my girlfriend does. In the case of the pull-out method, it's very, very easy to miss. Lots of guys CLAIM they can control themselves but that's mostly them being young and naive boasters. Nobody can promise you that no matter how good it feels or how close to orgasm he is, he will always pull out in time. Claiming something like that is silly. Maybe it goes well for 50 times but sooner or later there will be a moment you just can't hold it anymore and you fuck up. Equating the pull-out method with the pill is absolutely

[BlueCoyote]

unscientific. Even if you personally want to believe that this is arguable, it's not. It's not even controversial. If you don't believe me, please make a survey and ask 100 doctors what they consider the better method of avoiding a pregnancy. The result will be unanimous, I promise you. Not even American high school sex ed classes teach the pull-out method as a reasonable choice of contraception that considering how bad the education system is in the US, that's gotta mean something.

[Crazyced]

You don't understand, do you? Yes girls do fuck up. Yes girls do forget, even with an alarm. Even some girl on here will say they switched specifically for that reason. And yes, girls do sometimes go nuts and deliberatly stops without notice for any reasons you can come up with. For that reason and whatever else, he desides to shoot his load outside. And if he slips, there still 'should' be the pill as back up. For they giy it's still way safer then to give his entire contraseption to someome else.

[Crazyced]

Look at the lab vs real world effectivness. And you wonder why the guy pulls out?

youngwomenshealth.org/.../

[BlueCoyote]

@Crazyced Oh I do understand but I still think it's stupid. Did you actually look at the link you've posted? The "withdrawing" method (typical use) would make 22 women pregnant. That's considerably more than any other method of contraception (more than double than that of the pill). It's a shame this is even called "a method of contraception". Cuz it isn't. And apart from all the medical aspects, I also think it's weird to withdraw from the guy's point of view. Why would anyone want to ruin their own orgasm for something that doesn't even work? Why not just wear a condom if you're so paranoid about getting your girl pregnant? But oh well.

[Crazyced]

It's called controlling your faith. He decreses his odds of reproducing MANY folds by doing a very simple act. Adding to her contraseption. Simple as that. Why not wear a condom? Are you sure you have an active sex life with a serious partner?

[BlueCoyote]

@Crazyced Yes, I do. And we've never had any pregnancy problems despite "only" taking the pill. We're also not paranoid about my girlfriend becoming pregnant, which is why we don't use 300 different methods of contraception at the same time.

[dudeinohio]

Those who use the pull out method are commonly called "parents". A guy will actually slightly ooze cleansing fluid... known also as "pre cum". Sperm are usually in this fluid. Soooo.. during intercourse, sperm are inside you.

Bad... "backup method"

[kaylaS91]

If you're using the pull-out method, the guy will usually pull out and cum on the girl's stomach/boobs. How do people handle the mess? By getting up to go get some tissues to help wipe off the cum, or having some close by before it happens.

I think putting a towel on you and letting it catch the cum would ruin it a bit for him. Not that different from what he could do when finishing alone, right, so...

I just do it by letting him cum somewhere on my body, then wiping it off when he goes to get some kleenex or tissue paper from the bathroom.

[Humping_Tornadoes]

^^This

[Asker]

Thanks. I like to cuddle after sex and sometimes it doesn't seem very romantic to have to clean up first but it's not a huge deal. It's only sperm and it does wipe off.

[ScarletteFox_Red]

Sperm is gross and icky and should never have been invented

[kaylaS91]

@ScarletteFox_Red Everyone's entitled to their own opinion but for one, sperm was never 'invented', and two, you wouldn't exist without sperm so best rethink your wishes.

[Anonymous]

It's very tempting for them to stay in, had that happen before😳😳😳. Just make sure as soon as he feels like he's gonna come he pulls out fast. Guys have to time it perfectly.
Some people like the back, boobs, ass, stomach, I had someone come on top my vagina, face, have a towel on hand. I prefer letting him finish in my mouth with a blowjob. It's whatever you guys want.👍 maybe ask him what he wants.
Maybe give him a handjob and have the towel on you and let him finish that way. Like I said up to you😊😊 as long as it isn't inside you.

[Hulkette86]

Girl do not ask him to put a towel down he will be turned off. Me personally I LOVE when a guy cums on me! My back, face, mouth, anywhere! You just wipe it off after. The other day my guy & I were doggie stylin & he pulled out & came on my vag which is also hot. But that's just me. If it bothers you just ask em to cum in your mouth & then its up to you to swallow or spit it out. Or don't do it at all. Do whatever it is you're most comfortable with! I never knew I liked it at all until I tried it :)

[BellePepper]

Why not keep a set of like wet wipes and a towel next to the bed. Then cleanup is quick and easy.

[iuoala]

Mouth. so much better.

[Danburry_elect]

Generally I let it go on my girlfriend boobs or stomach. Extra hot to do it on her ass in doggie.
We keep wipes by the bed and we go through them like candy lol, but they clean up the mess quickly and they are sanitary lol

[falafelany1]

Well you can do whatever you want but just know that it is not an effective method of contraption.

[Sweepthelegjonny]

I do it all rhe time... Where i cum on her depends on the position we re in... (Back or stomach).. But i grab a shirt or a towel and clean her off after... Otherwise it would be a dic move

[Rixie1986]

Pretty much that way

[Prof_Don]

Using a towel to "catch" the ejaculate would DEFINITELY ruin the moment for him! Just keep the towel by the bed and clean up after! :)

[VirginiaBeachBum]

When I do pull out (which these days is rare), my partner often prefer that it gets directed towards her mouth. But we usually keep a towel nearby for cleanup.

[drewtacular]

have him cum in your mouth next time.. problem solved

[KatherineJ]

For some reason guys either want to cum in or on you. It is up to you if you choose to allow either.

[ConsultantIsBack]

I usually pull out and cum on her boobs, love that

[TheHooptyMiata]

I just use a condom TBH.

[Polocrew]

Been using it since ever and still no baby names. com OP, Mirin my reflexes?

[Anonymous]

Pull out doesn't work

[Anonymous]

I do it on my girlfriend's stomach or tits. I think that's the most common way people do it.

[Anonymous]

When my now wife and I did this, I just released somewhere on her body, usually wherever was closest, but away from her pussy. If you want to avoid mess, you can definitely have a towel handy, or take him in your mouth.

[Anonymous]

Just wipe it off with a towel after. I actually find it endearing when he wipes it off lovingly.

It's less messy than having it drip out afterwards, for sure.