Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Disclaimer:All jokes, poems, etc. Meant in fun and not to "offend" anyone..... All material found online
Cum on, I just had to do a Valentine's sex joke take on the holiday that for women is about gifts, but the only gift you need to give men is sex and they'll be happy..
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all I like your ass
Roses are red
Violets are blue
My knickers get wet
Just thinking of you.
Valentine's Poem:
Hearts and roses and kisses galore,
What the hell is all of that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer,
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid’s ass!
I’ll spend the day so drunk that I just can’t speak,
And wear only black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet but it soon will fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a big crock of shit!
So here is my story, what else can I say?
Love bites my ass… Fuck Valentine’s Day!
Young couple romance
A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery. As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!" "No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."
We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows… you’re hot and I want to be on top of you
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
I’m using my hand,
Thinking of you.
Valentine's Gift
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."
Valentine's slogans
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
I hope you enjoyed this Valentine's Day quickie 🙂
As always thanks for reading 💖
"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘
What Girls & Guys Said
4 27We have a special way to celebrate St. Valentines day.
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About the Valentine's Day for single men logo... yeah, that's every day.
🤣🤣🤣
Didn't read everything but I saw my punch line in the picture.
Anyway a worker asked his boss for advice on valentines gift. His boss being on higher pay grade said well get her more than one thing that way she should like somthing you got her. The boss said I'm getting mine diamonds and fur coat. If she doesn't like The coat she should like the diamonds. Worker says thanks for the advice. Week later when they see each other boss says what did you get her. Worker said I took your advice I got her a box of chocolates and a dildo. If she didn't like the choclates she can go fuck herself
😂😂 yeah had to use that image as niece told me about the$50 vibrator she got for Valentine's Day lololol I mean I'm glad I'm her favorite aunt and all but 🤦🏼♀️I sent her that meme and she preceded to tell me she fucks herself real well 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ being the favorite isn't always a good thing 😱😱 LOL
Too much information but its probably a good thing she trusts you
I guess lolol
Hahahahahhaahaha damn I rad through this take laughing my ass off and on. But I likes that Singles Valentine logo, only a few things missed on it I. e soap and oil.
🤣🤣🤣 oil? Or Astroglide🤔🤔 lololol
That's what's on those arrows.
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Thank you! Nice way to start Valentine's day with few laughs!
Thanks for reading 🙂 happy Valentine's Day 💖🙂
Happy Valentine's day!!! ♥️♥️♥️💋💋💋🙂 Stay warm!
You too!!
I like that song of Bobby Vinton -roses are red. I also have a vinyl record of an album
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Valentine's Day is idol worship.
Can't you do that any day tho 😂
All I have to say is he better shoot his pointy arrow correctly. 😉
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