Virgin at 25, a failure?

I am not necessarily ashamed of it, but scared. I do want children, I do want a boyfriend and husband.

I am not virgin because of my looks. Guys are interested in me pretty often. Online and offline. Is that I convinced my mind that sex is something very difficult, that I won't be ever able to do it, that I am scared of having something inside me and so on. I came to believe sex is one of the most difficult things in the world and that it takes special skills to do it. I know its bullshit what I say but I basically feel like a failure. I have a college degree, I have written a book, volunteered, had many, many achievements and yet I cannot have sex. Is something that I feel will never happen to me. I know 25 is still young but I am convinced sex is something I will never ever able to do.

Also I look good. I am curvy and tall and for some reason people always assume I have sexual experience already. Because of looks and age.
Help!
0 1

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • There is nothing wrong with you. Don't be too hard on yourself. You certainly don't sound like a failure at all to me. Our success in life doesn't hinge on if we have sex or not although I will tell you that sex is one of the most if not the most amazing experience I have ever had in life because of the closeness, the connection, and sensations of feeling her body (being inside her) and experiencing the intense sensations she can have is second to none. The moments where you both cum together is amazing. Cumming inside for me is an act of feeling like I'm giving her something very special. The power and energy spent to do this and the moment of extreme out of body pleasure make it heavenly. As for your situation, there are a few things you need to think about. First of all, as large and engorged as both the penis and vagina can become to accommodate each other perfectly during arousal, the brain is still the largest sex organ in the body. You need to become familiar with your own body and try to give yourself orgasm. Find out the buttons that need pushing. This will help you desire sex more. Practice makes perfect. As you do this, also practice freeing your mind of all the day's stress and anxiety. If your mind can let go, it will let your body let go and release. Poke yourself (starting out small) and see what hurts at first vs what starts to feel good. Maybe get up to a mirror and spread your labia and get a look on the inside. Become intimately familiar all your own internal/external sexual anatomy and how your body functions. It can feel good while being healthy and educational. As you see how amazing your own body looks inside, remember that it was made to perfectly set off the body of a guy. Likewise, his body was perfectly meant to set off your body. Imagine the two most sensitive counterparts (genitalia) of the male and female body rubbing each other and causing the other to literally go crazy. I assure you that with the correct guy who you trust and feel safe with, and who cares more about your pleasure and comfort than himself, will be able to give you the most amazing and connecting feelings you have ever had. You will at some point think to yourself "I've been missing out on this for this long." Continued...

    • At some point, you can look forward to spending a few hours of time to lay down while a guy you love overshadows you with his arms wrapped around you, deep inside you, your feeling of being inside/out, you feeling open and vulnerable and yet able to trust 100% while he kisses your lips, neck, breasts, gently rubs you all over with warm hands causing your whole body to relax with euphoria, with the wild and amazingly good intense feelings you are having down in between your legs as your eyes role back into your head so he can only see the whites of your eyes, and then that final moment where you feel him twitching uncontrollably inside you which then drives you over the edge with your own contracting orgasms as you feel the warm spurts of love (semen) permeate and puddle deep inside you. And then the gentle and connecting after phase as you both feel so relaxed while your bodies both wind down with some lingering post orgasmic contractions and twitching. As you both sit there basking in the moment looking into each other's eyes, wanting to stay connected a little bit longer, bathing in each other's sweat and the beautiful mess you both made down below, the smell of sex, the tender kissing, the gentle caressing, and all the other tender expressions of relaxing and healing love/euphoria that accompany it. I assure you it is something to look forward to, not fear. With the correct person, it will be something you don't have to think about. You will surprise yourself at how natural you go together and how amazing the chemistry will be. Yes you may feel vulnerable but in those moments that will be a good thing. You will be able to relax and not give it another thought as you enjoy him doing what he does to you because you will know you are loved and cherished. You can do this. Don't short yourself of this most amazing and Godly experience in life.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not a failure at all. I have friends in the same boat actually. Be proud of your accomplishments, and remember that sex with somebody you know very well can help you avoid discomfort and anxiety beforehand. Best of luck :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • When you're with a guy you really like and he's handsome to you and he also likes you a lot and finds you to pretty then it's not hard at all to have sex... it becomes difficult to not have it because naturally the more time you spend alone with that person and the more you guys like each other and flirt you're gonna want to touch and do stuff... I don't know if you have any experience with like making out and foreplay but if you don't then I'll tell you that it leads to sex most of the times... let's just say you date someone and you guys hang out a lot or go in dates the more comfortable you get with that person you will slowly start to open up physically to them like you will want to hug , kiss , etc. And once you do more of those things constantly eventually you will feel ready for sex. It takes some stages to get there it's not just hi... how are you? Okay I'm gonna fuck you now before even kissing you and it's your first time doing it... lol nope you have to work your way up there and then you'll definitely feel ready. Especially if you are worth someone special

  • You’re not missing anything sis and believe me most people who have sex regret it and I’m amongst those people. You deserve someone special and that is hard to come across and you’re definitely not a failure. Your husband will definitely respect adore your purity. It must be really annoying when people assume things... trust me I know

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 10
  • Sex is not difficult when you are with some that you are comfortable with. Quit overthinking the virgin aspect of your life. It will happen when you are ready.

  • Genophobia or erotophobia.
    Can we be virgins together?

  • Sex is like instinctual, I wouldn't worry about, you're not a failure, do you wanna talk about it? I feel like its a big hurdle for you, relationship or not. I'm not sure how else to offer help than to talk it out lol

  • What is the most you’ve done with a man?

  • I think it will get better slowly over time as you date. Take things one step at a time.

  • What's your actual question here?

  • Not a failure by any means.

  • I was virgin until 22 and i know your feeling.

    I only met someone special for me in first time that make me put apart all these feelings.

  • be glad that as a woman, you don't have to take any action on your part

  • I had that same wrong idea too. Sex is one of those things that change from person to person, my first time was painful. Extremely painful but then again not a pain I couldn't handle. Everybody is capable of having sex and so do you baby

  • It will happen. it is an instinct, no worries lol