Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I am a virgin, and all my life I've been avoiding wearing tampons, taking ovules, putting anything inside of me, in order to protect "my virginity". My family gives too much importance to virginity and they made me think that I had to wait until marriage to pop my cherry. Why though? So my husband can be proud of me? so my husband can respect me as a woman? so my husband doesn't feel disappointed? so he believes he's the one and the last for me? so he thinks I truly love him for letting him pop my cherry?
I don't know what goes through these people's minds, but I know I strongly disagree with their view.
Why men can't have the same celebration we do when we say we are virgins? Why are they looked down? Why do people trust female virgins more? Why do people make fun of male virgins? Virginity is nothing but a way to show your innocence. Men and women can be innocent, why can't people accept that?
The amount of girls who have told me they wanna wait till they get married is big, also... many of these girls are afraid of masturbating. Why though? Why do society makes us believe that masturbation is wrong? Why can't we explore our bodies? I mean, it's my body, I can touch it if I want, is it a sin? Why though? I've been told I can masturbate as long as I don't pop my cherry. Why though? I can pop whatever the hell I want. It's my body. I've been told my chances of getting married depends on how pure I am. Because men marry the good girls.
At this very moment, I couldn't give less fucks about what men wanna marry. My goal in life isn't having a family and cooking for my husband everyday, but many girls dream about this and they see it as their life goal. Why though?
Yeah sure, we all want different things, but I just think it's sad people don't want to go any further.
So, now that I have my goals clear, what am I waiting for? A parade? Nah, that won't happen if I wait for marriage or if I pop my cherry by myself. What's the freaking prize of waiting, can someone explain this to me?
And to don't make this any longer... Girls and guys, virginity is just a word, letting it take an important part of your life is your decision because society shouldn't give a damn about what do you do or you stop doing. Do what makes you happy and remember life is way too short to wait.
What Girls & Guys Said
12 33Yeah I really don't care about virginity much. I feel like you got the desire to lose it then if there's any kind of religious beliefs behind it you've already failed. Desiring it isn't too much different than doing it. That's how I feel about it.
My parents never pressured me though. My family has kind of poked around at the girlfriend thing (lack of one), but eh nobody really pressures me on the virginity thing. I'm sure my mother would be upset, but eh it's not like virginity is forced upon me. It seems it was that way for you.
I don't know about life being short though. I think it depends. Some people live long lives and some people don't. Some people live a full life despite dying "early".
I personally think the whole thing is overrated. I'm not at all a different person because I'm not a virgin, I'm no different to someone my age who is a virgin. I think people should spend less time thinking about their "innocence and virginity" and should focus more on love and bathw in the fact they know another human in such an intimate way :)
I like your take on it, for this very reason is why i believe there are so many older male virgins going crazy, find it difficult to function, become mentally ill or feel like they can't fit in with society. Would the Elliot Rodgers situation happened if Virginity for men was not seen as a handicap. It is a sad state of affairs but the good news is women can always find someone to pop their cherry anytime. That should be a luxury in itself. But i agree, women should do what they feel is right for their life.
And I have to disagree with that, while yes it is a word for a lot of people it is also something important to some people like myself who choose to keep it, I've never been pressured into keeping it and I've had quite a few opportunities to lose it but I've just chose to wait until marriage because I want to. For my values, morals as well as religious reasons not because I believe gods going to smite me if I have sex or anything but just because I believe it's the right thing to do and I believe in the sanctity of marriage and waiting.
As for wanting a virgin girl it's not so much that she is a virgin herself or even that I'm her first but it's more what it stands for and what it says about that person that means more for people like us.
So for some of us it's more then just a word, and while I strongly disagree with your viewpoint I can at least respect some parts of it and I will agree that some people take it to the extremes but those people aren't many.
You don't lose your virginity until you have sex. The hymen doesn't determine virginity. Some people are born without one.
My body is the temple of my soul and very precious. I want to lose my virginity to my husband because I think marriage is a holy covenant and very sacred.
@Love-travel, <3 this
Virginity is just a phase in life, between mid puberty and first time sex.
In Muslim and American culture it's highly overrated.
It hasn't been a major part of American culture since the 1950's. Most of the people here who believe in waiting until marriage are either REALLY religious Americans, or a religious immigrant population.
@Northeast106 Isn't 'abstinence only' the basis of sexual education in a number of states then?
@jacquesvol Not in my state it wasn't. We learned about most contraceptives, and the pros and cons behind them. I think that has more to do with communities and certain school districts rather than states. The majority of schools teach sex education, and even in abstinence only areas, teen pregnancy is high across the board. The good news is that both teenage births and abortions have been declining in recent years.
@jacquesvol Also, you have to remember that culture doesn't adapt as fast as technology does. There was a time when contraception and anti-bacterial medicine didn't exist. Std's could not be treated, and virginity was prized and literally was cleaner. No one wanted to contract stds, or have children if they couldn't provide for them.
@Northeast106 N know there's a big difference between the north east and the south
https://oi57.tinypic.com/29poisg.jpg
https://oi58.tinypic.com/2l5rsx.jpg
@jacquesvol www.cdc.gov/.../...-rates-chart-2000-2011-text.htm
Black and Hispanic women have higher teen pregnancy rates than White or Asian teens. It's not always due to state policy, but fertility rates, immigration etc. It boils down to personal choice and decisions. Not that I think there is anything wrong with pregnancy, but having kids at such a young age can hurt economic, educational, and career opportunities. The south central states have the largest hispanic populations, the southeast has the largest black population. By simple data and demographic information, you have your answer. Of course, you just wanted to blame religious people in general for your own political ambitions.
Notice how Utah is highly religious but low teen pregnancy state. Fact of the matter is that whites and Asians tend to wait on pregnancy, and we are having less children yet they typically enjoy better careers and annual income. The inverse is also true, the lower income racial groups also have the highest fertility rates.
@Northeast106 " better careers and annual income. "=> better education for the children. in my opinion it boils down to education policy (and economic possibility to get better education) , influence of state policy and parents on public school ed programs.
Sorry I mean the would be parents enjoy better careers and income. When you have children you limit your time and availability for economic progression. Though higher income families with less children, yes those children enjoy a better education and opportunity since it is provided by their parents. There is no shortage of opportunity here in the United States, there will never be a perfect education policy, or public education system. You have to make the most out of what you have. We have immigrants who come here from India, China, and Africa who are doing better than people that were born here. The problem with your outlook is that you don't believe in Individual responsibility or effort. The main reason why people don't have job skills, is because they chose not to pursue some type of education in the first place. It has nothing to do with the "system". Believe that, we have scholarships, grants, loans etc. It's easy to sign up for college, I'm going back August 15th.
@Northeast106 It's indeed possible to enter college but who"ll pay it? What about the huge study debts afterwards?
@jacquesvol The cost is what you agree to. Not every college here puts you in the same amount of debt. We also have scholarships, and government benefits. You have to earn what you want in this world, and education does come at a price. It's an investment. I joined the military to partially receive college funding. My parents didn't have any money for us. Who do you think should pay for their college? What if they go to college for 3 years, dick around partying, and get arrested for narcotics? Is it the taxpayers job to absorb that cost, when we are in need of infrastructure and tax relief? Personal behaviour and the choices we make comes at a price. We have academic scholarships, pell grants, athletic scholarships, military benefits, etc. Your just allowing whiny ass people to exploit your soft heart for your hard earned money. It's called being hustled and scammed. I remember my power being cut many times because of my parents foolish choices. (Alcoholism and debt).
I never in my childhood, felt that the world owed me free money because they had nice things I never got to have. It simply motivated me not to make the same mistakes my parents made.
@Northeast106 I got my degrees in Europe but I too had to do many jobs to pay my studies. No grants, (bed & breakfast was all I got from my parents). Entered college at 18 , then uni for a masters degree. Got that degree at 23(so did my wife), then I did 2yrs of compulsory military duty ( :-p ). We only could marry at 25 , zilch savings but both debt free.
Yeah, I volunteered to do 5 years in the Army, and I'm glad I did. I've always wanted to do it, I didn't only join for the benefits. I'm using them now though, lol. My parents did provide a roof over my head, so I'm thankful for that. Life wasn't exactly a hand out though, I was drug free by 21 and straightened my life out. Sitting around all day smoking weed and hanging out with friends doesn't do much for career advancement.
in American culture? I thought Americans don't care about virginity
@mishsheaven just read how many questions about virginity are asked on Gag.
I know. But I don't think those posts belong to Americans
@Northeast106 @mishsheaven read m.huffpost.com/.../...ica-so-obsesse_b_183798.html
Look at the author of your article. I can tell you in day to day life, no one cares about virginity. I know, I live here. She's just rambling on her feminist political philosophies, in the same breath, she'll probably bitch about women being exploited in the porn industry. Really it's 2016, people do what the fuck they want to do. You want to be a porn star? Go for it. Want to wait until marriage because of your personal values? Awesome sauce. Maybe your somewhere in between those two like most of us? Cool beans. We're not fucking pilgrims from the 1500's.
@Northeast106 Again the ebil feminists...
Not evil, but tantrum like in their political and social realities. I'm telling you, kids are losing their virginity before full adulthood these days. Not sure where she is getting her information or world view from.
hard to believe you, of all people, are a virgin. no offense...
the reasoning is pretty simple. guys have traditionally had to ask girls out. even today to some extent. conversely, girls get pretty much get laid whenever she wants. so a guy's ability to get laid shows that he can spit game while a girl who preserves her virginity shows that she has restraint. is it wrong? probably, but you have the 1st 10000+ years of human history and social norms to thank for that
I understand, people is always shocked when I tell them.
The good thing though is that us guys can get friendships from females like it's nothing. It's easy. For females it's difficult. Most guys don't want friendships. They want a relationship and/or sex right? So it's easy for us to get female friends.
@Joc4Position i guess? i'm totally fine with friendship. i don't assume anything until i get to know them a bit. bitches be cray cray.
Hahahaha yeah.
I don't understand why people obsess over it
Having sex with people you had in a relationship with, each one will feel less special. Soon, if I had 13 girlfriends and only had sex with 8, I would treat sex as a toy. I will not get emotionally involved in a girl anymore.
@Megapokemonmaster That's not my point. I'm saying if someone's a virgin or not like it's a defining statement. When I lost my virginity, I didn't feel any different than before I lost it. People make it seem like it's some big status. I mean dry spells still happen even after losing your virginity. Should I feel bad about myself until the next time i get laid?
Because for women virginity is a choice while for men it's a handicap.
Brilliantly worded👌🏻 that's where women don't we it.
Get it
@Scrambledagain Thanks :) I never understood why it's seen the same as with getting most jobs. To get a job you need experience but to get experience you need a job. That's why it took me so long to find a job, it's very rare that someone will take you on with little to no experience.
A handicap? Rather a feeling of lagging behind on manly 'norms'.
@jacquesvol It's a handicap because those that have already lost their virginity are seen as greatly superior.
@QuestionMan "seen as" doesn't mean they ARE superior.
@jacquesvol In a way they are. Would you rather buy a car from a company that's already known or a company that just got into the market? Most would say the former. Same with virginity. Experience is always better than no experience.
@QuestionMan Same for girls then? ;-)
Same for both sexes?
@jacquesvol Virgin girls are seen as sports cars that are just of the shelf while virgin guys are seen as a new manufacturing company with no prior experience.
Yeah... the bottom line is that virginity is almost always a choice for girls and not for guys. That's the difference. If you can't do something that you want, you are handicapped. If I want to walk, but can't due to factors beyond my control, I am handicapped. if I want to screw but can't, I am handicapped. Whatever it is that makes me not worthy of a girls intimacy, makes me handicapped in the context of sex and virginity.
What makes sense to you doesn't have to make sense to others.
But I agree that you don't need to and should not care about what others think.
Your body, your life, your choice.
I am still Virgin though.
Agreed
I totally agree with you. This is one of my biggest pet peeves with virgins and people who think they are better because they are virgin. You're not a car, where you're better when brand new. You're more like a pair of skates or boots. Shitty at first (virgin), and much better right after you are broken in a little bit.
@Mybeachlife88 Here's a Take I wrote on male virgins: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a26404-the-stigma-on-male-virginity
Psychological state
Wait so sex is just a thing for fun. So just don't be emotionally involved in it, but what about breaks up with people you have sex with?
It's not virginity that gets too much attention, it's sex in general. Too many people equate their worth to sex not just as virgins but as non-virgins too. Even this post shows the obsession. This culture is obsessed with sex in every form.
Being a virgin is nothing to be proud of or ashamed of. I've never been to Germany. Wheres my medal for never having gone to germany? The first time I ever had sex was not special. It was definitely the worst sex I've ever had to be honest.
@ Anonymous my first sex too was the worst I ever had.
The difference here we're forgetting is.
For girls
- most guys prefer virgins for long term relationships/marriage.
For guys.
- girls either don't care if a guy is a virgin or find it a turn off.
- if the girl is a virgin. She prefers he has experience
- if she has experience. She prefers he has experience and a Virgin is a turn off
There's no reason for a guy to wait till marriage. Guys pressure guys to lose and girls prefer guys with experience.
Well I might wait till marriage.