Sexual Relationships
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Waiting For Sex When Dating

Waiting For Sex When Dating

This topic usually starts a firestorm of activity. I say one month is long enough to wait. Any longer than that is way too long, for me anyway. Many say whenever you're comfortable and ready.

That cam mean different time frames for different people. I waited way too long when I was younger and all it caused was frustration and anger. At the age of 27 I said one month, not a nanosecond longer and I stuck with it. I don't regret it for a moment. I bring it up very early in the dating process and if we aren't sexual, I leave. No second chances, no talking no nothing. I end, albeit like a gentleman, but I end it neverthe less. Why should I do all the giving and get nothiong back but frustration ? Why should I be with a woman who has fucked many guys, but I'm not good enough ?

I shouldn't and I won't. So myTake is, no pussy, no relationship. No exceptions. EVER ! I expect this to start a shitstorm, bring it on. I welcome all comers.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm assuming you wouldn't date a virgin then.
    Not trying to start anything. Just making an assumption.

    I actually think you're pretty brave to put this out there. You might be shit stirring by making a take out if it. But brave of you and honest to let your women know straight up this is how it is.

    • I have dated virgins and my stance was the same. Sex after a month or bye bye. Some did have sex and we dated for awhile and some didn't. I am a native born Texan and we are truthful to a fault and we back down from nothing. And we never, ever run from a fight. Even if we know we're getting an ass whipping. The days a woman can wait for sex are over. I'll be damned if I'm going to be with a woman whom I know has fucked many guys and not have sex with me. No way Jose ! That makes me feel unworthy and nobody does that to me. My one month rule is set in stone.

    • Kinda wish my guy had a one month rule to be honest. We might have actually been in bed together by now. But alas. I'm a virgin and he's been with only one other. Neither of us very good at initiating apparently.

    • I don't know other way to be.

Most Helpful Guys

  • If she's trying to make you wait forever we have 2 possibilities: 1. She's not attracted to you. 2. She's playing a game to get stuff from you using sex as bait. Guys need to realize that girls love sex & if she's not getting it from you she's getting it from some guy who didn't have to wait.

    • 3. She has a lot of personality hang ups about sex with old issues, or has guilty feelings about it and is not ready to face her fear. 4. You do certain things that cause distrust (whether that means that you're distrustful, or she's overly paranoid.) My option is probably a whole lot closer than yours.

    • 5. She wants you to make up for the consequences of a bad filtering mechanism that sets off red flags for you but not for Tyler the coke dealing club promoter.

    • 6. she's a virgin and sex can be very painful. going slow learning yeah others bodies opening things up in a non traumatic way, and not feeling pressured, helps tremendously.

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  • I respect you for making this post. Many women demand that men wait x months for sex or till marriage. All you're doing is setting a a boundary and its the woman's choice if she meets it. Good take. Id probably give it 6 weeks myself.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • eh, I don't like to make a set point as to when I have sex while dating. All couples are so different, there can't really be an accurate set amount of dates to decide when that time has come.

    I sleep with someone I'm dating whenever feel like I trust them enough and just feel like I'm comfortable enough. I don't think we eve went on a dingle date yet when that happened with my boyfriend and I. It felt right so we just went for it.

  • Sounds selfish and rude. Giving ultimatums and pressuring people early on isn't a good way to start any relationship.

    Yes, you're free to do what you want but plenty of relationships are more than sex. I would encourage every woman to not give into ANY man for 3 months for her protection. She can weed out those who simply want sex and find good men who want a relationship as well.

    • Jusy because she may have slept with many guys does not mean that those guys were good enough. She may have been playing the field or she gave it up too early and it didn't work out so she's changing her tactics. You also sound like a hypocrite (she has to do what i want, but im not doing what she wants).

    • Three months? You are so wrong. I'm serious, it's sex after one month or I leave. I don't give a shit how it sounds. I let it be know upfront what I expect in a relationship. If a particular woman can't do this, then there are 4 billion more in the world. Surely someone will. I just put the truth on it. If they stay, fine. If not, oh well. Another woman will be along soon.

    • If she slept with many other guys then GODDAMMIT she's going to be sexual for me. I don't play that shit. It makes me feel unworthy and NOBODY does that to me. You're very wrong to even think that.

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  • if thats important to you then its good you're honest. and i can see it working bc you know what you want and the people you date know , so no confusion. this is very good. its the way to date. no games. no bullshit. no false expectations or impressions.

    i can't believe a virgin would have sex in a month though i guess if shed already been stetted by other means its plausible. sex can seriously hurt if yore untouched, a month is kind of stressful. but virgin doesn't necessarily mean inexperienced,.

  • Lol so this is why you stopped messaging all a sudden hmmm? Hahaha

    • (Sorry wrong person)

  • lol this will get you somewhere, for sure!

    Girls sometimes are not ready with a new person and guys should learn to respect that, if they really care for her. Let her take her time, because she will apreciate it and value you more for being a gentleman.

    I can see that here the main necessity is sex and not the person.

    Not intending to offend, I am just calling it as I see it.

    • I don't have to wait and I won't. I'd say a month is enough time to tell if you're going anywhere or not. I haven't wavered on this and I won't. Most guys these days don't have the guts to be this strong. It's a pity.

    • well, you know what works for you. Just saying you might be missing on a great girl for you with that strategy, but u know best.

    • I'm not missing out on anything but emotional cripples and indecisive little twerps for whom I have no time for. My belief works for me. I don't vary one iota and yes, I never, ever want for female companionship. The days that a woman can wait for sex ifs thankfully long gone. One little beta faggot Momma's boys wait.

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  • If that's what you want that's what you want.

  • It's different for different girls. Some are fine with it after a few dates, others need a firm commitment beforehand. In my experience, they are always open to it after the 3rd or 4th date - if not they are at least comfortable enough to have a discussion about it and what their preference is

    • It maybe different for girls. But I never, ever wait more than a month. I don't have to.

  • Of course, you're free to proceed as you wish as it is your life to live.

    However, you do come across like your still holding on tightly to all of that frustration and anger. It seems clear to me that your only interest in a woman begins and ends with her vagina, which is incredibly dehumanizing. So from what you've written, I think that it's fairly safe assumption that you really despise, and may be even hate, women. Moreover, you seem very, very self-entitled and considering your self-entitlement extends to the most intimate part of another person's body, it's a little disturbing.

    I'm sorry for whatever happened to you which led you to such an ugly place.
    That said, I do commend your honesty.

    • I don't hate women at all. I'm just stating the truth as I see it. I don't have to wait for sex and I won't. I did when I was younger and it caused anger and frustration. It made me feel unworthy. Nobody does that to me anymore. It's sex after one month or I end it. If that sounds self entitled, I don't care one iota. So be it. I know what I require. No exceptions. Only little Momma;s boy faggots wait.

  • I like how your honest and straightforward. If you listen to Tom Leykis, he says three dates. That's how he does it and no more than $40 per date. If your trying to get laid as a guy, then this is the way to go to save time. Waiting may have its reason due to "comfortability" but also as a mind game. Picture this, some guys don't have to wait or wait minimally, but you have to wait for months. Does that sound fair to you? That's how I see it.

    • There are plenty of reasons why some men dont have to wait, plenty which is fair.

    • Why and what are some of the reasons that some guys don't have to wait? Well there are 7 billion+ humans in the world. I am not waiting when the other guy didn't have to. I can always find a better opportunity whether it be business or dating and I do. That's my attitude. Now that sounds fair. If some other guy wants to wait, that's his problem. Let me give an analogy so you can understand. Let's say you go to a car dealer and you are in casual clothing looking around to purchase a Mercedes Benz. The dealer treats you with disrespect or says you have to wait and that he is 'busy' with something. Another person comes into the dealer also looking for a Mercedes but he is wearing a $5000 suit. The dealer stops what he is doing and treats him like royalty and helps him immediately. Does that sound fair that the guy who came after you gets immediate service but you came before him and you get treated like crap AND have to wait?

  • Yeah its Ok if its your personal opinion but I don't understand the need to create a MyTake for it? . I am a virgin right now and if some guy says this to me, ( I am in a conservative Asian country) I'll be like nice talking to you. The first time I give it up would be a minimum of 6 months or upto a year, it sounds extreme but where I am from, its perfect. However when I am 27 and still dating, I guess I won't be getting dates that much so 2-3 months or even a month is fine by then.
    I hope that I am engaged or married by then though.

    • The reason I created a My Take is because I can. These are my views and I assure most American men feel this way. Although, because of the feminist movement, most American men aren't as assertive as I am. Sad but true.

    • Yes because you can't 'demand' sex from women. Find a woman looking for casual sex and go for it but don't expect all women to jump into bed so fast. Or don't complain if you find that your wife had fucked 100s wow you are 63 and still getting it on you must be really fit. Although at your age I THINK you should not think about sex and all better to think about peaceful quiet things.

    • You are way too young to be taken seriously when talking about sex.

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  • " Why should I do all the giving and get nothiong back but frustration?"

    So a woman's time, company, and having fond memories with you is nothing?

    • If I'm going to be romantically involved with a woman, it will be sexual. All those other things come with being sexual in my opinion. No sex, no relationship. There are too many women in the world are more than willing to satisfy my needs. Waiting isn't an option.

    • It means something. But if we aren't sexual, she's of no use or value in my opinion. NEXT !

  • I expect to see people saying you should 'respect' others to desire to wait.

    Which you are.

    What they really mean is you should -accomodate- their desire to wait.

    But they don't say that, because it sounds wrong.

    I might make exceptions in some cases, but they're not cases that most women remotely in our dating range are in.

    • I try to respect other people's wishes, even if I believe them wrong. I'm learning things now that I should have known in my teens. There are too many women in this world to get your knickers in a wad about one. Anyone can be replaced, men and women. That I should known long ago.

    • i dont think most people say wait. i think most people say respect their desire to wait. meaning dont berate them or try to coerce. if you want to break up thats fine. but yes respect other peoples boundaries.

    • No woman is out of my dating range. That I assure you. I don't care if they're hot or not, which if they aren't I don't date them. Sex after one month or adios.

  • Why wait at all? I feel like people should have sex when they want to. If that's when the two just met then so be it. If it's a year from then then so be it. If a certain time period is too long or too short then hey maybe it wouldn't work out with the two of you.

    You shouldn't have to wait any longer than you want to. If you want to have sex with the girl and she says no and that's a deal breaker for you then I guess you should break up with her.

    • It's one month for me and no longer. I make that crystal clear from Jump Street.

    • Okay.

    • Yeah, but if you don't tell them your ultimatum, then you can back burner them while dating elsewhere and possibly have sex with her down the road without any expectations

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  • Well I suppose everyone is entitled to what they want. In my opinion one month is too fast. Evey woman is different though. All I can say is thankfully my man isn't like that and was willing to take it slow with me. I was a virgin in my late 20s and he waited 9 months for me. Never pressured me once. It was all up to me. Reading this post reminds me of how lucky I am to have found someone like that.

    • I assure you that most men won't wait. Why should we?

  • So at what point do you bring this up, and how do you work it into conversation?

    • Second date. Possibly the first.

  • The only dealbreaker would be for me is if the girl wants to wait until marriage. I respect their decision but I just wouldn't want that personally.

  • I agree with your stance. I personally would be willing to wait 1.5 months. 0.5 for good measure in case something comes up.

    I actually wrote a similar myTake :).

    • QuestionMan-I believe that one month is way more than plenty. I'll just be damned if I'm going to date a woman whom I know has slept other guys and didn't make them wait. That makes me feel inadequate and nobody does that to me. I flat tell them sex after one month or I'm gone. There will be no extra time granted or talking. It's over, I'm done adios. I've never regretted this. I know some say that I may have missed out on really special women. I don't buy it. If they don't take care of me sexually within a month, they are beneath the vilest contempt that is possible.

    • Do you bring it up in the beginning of the relationship or do you just leave after a month?

    • I bring it up very early on. I mean it. No pussy no relationship. Wait my ass !

  • I wouldn't bail if i felt they deserved me.

  • So if you were dating a girl and she hold off sex, you would give her one month to give it to you? I would be comfortable with however long I had to wait to sleep with her. There's no rush in waiting unless the girl doesn't want to go past being friends and more. I guess to each his own regarding sex.

  • If I'm not having sex by the third date at the latest, then I stop concidering her a potential girlfriend.

    • But I don't tell them what's up, I just make the decision.

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