Was he never actually fully hard during sex every time or is this not really possible?

When we first met I used to think I couldn’t massively feel him (I had been told by several people before I was very tight and he even said it himself). He was thinner than I was used to.

As time went on I got used to his size and could feel him all the time

But maybe he’s just never fully hard and I’m used to fully hard

Before he slept with me. He slept with a girl he admitted he couldn’t keep hard wirh because she did nothing for him. He said thank god it’s not like that with you

He always looks pretty hard but sometimes he’s extra hard and he says if hurts

Should it be like extra hard way it hurts each time and he’s not fully hard or is this normal?
Should be “extra hard” where it hurts
Vote A
It’s normal to just be hard each time
Vote B
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Girl Guy
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Superb Opinion

  • short answer - it's normal. and as long as you are having healthy sex life it's fine. if you feel that it could be better and want to do something about it, you can look for "help" like toys, RP, or going to the doctor.

    the long answer:
    as people said there are different levels of erection a "semi" erection is just getting to be full size but still can't fully defy gravity, so just tilting it to one side will change its curve accordingly. at which point it can be squeezed and bent so it's hard to even insert anywhere.
    between that and being so erect it feels like a stick that can't be squeezed or bent is a whole spectrum. 1- getting hard enough to stand on its own but still being able to squeeze or somewhat bend (pretty hard to put in but afterward gets the job done), 2- being hard to bend but still feeling soft when held tight (probably what you'd think of as "proper" hard).
    all of these are normal and every man experiences each. some may tend to be on one side of the spectrum more often than not for many reasons:
    1) if the man finished not too long ago, or does so too frequently it might be more difficult to achieve a full erection. (god knows the scare you get too bored on the weekend and end up thinking you might have broken your tools lol)
    2) mental state - being stressed at the moment or in general is a huge factor. it could be performance anxiety at sex, being swamped at work, being depressed, etc.
    3) size problem - some men have a hard time getting fully erect because of their size. you mentioned yours wasn't as girthy but it could still be the length, or even if it's not really big, It can be a small factor.
    4) body health - drinking alcohol, some drugs, and not living a healthy enough lifestyle may lead to ED
    5) vascular problems - maybe his blood flow in the region is inhibited and that's why he needs to be extremely turned on to be fully erect and that it hurts.
    6) mental stimulation - seeing you, someone he is attracted to, released chemicals and hormones that make him aroused. unfortunately, our brains are great at getting used to stuff so even if you are the most attractive person in the world which he will never feel sick of, his brain might need some variance. or he might be watching too much porn or too hardcore stuff that his mind gets desensitized.

    so the best advice I could give you is if you are asking just out of curiosity or worry about him then it's fine. if you are asking because it makes you insecure or you are unsatisfied then you should just have a talk, but be very very clear! its not the fault of either of you!
    there are many steps you could take to see what the problem is and how to fix it: limit the time or intensity of porn, not drinking before sex, try new stuff in bed (especially pre-sex), maybe add toys of stimulation (like for the prostate), having "no-judgement-zone" talks to release stress, and finally going to the doctor or therapist.

    • So him going between 70-100 during most times and on occasion is super hard is normal? This happens to everyone?

Most Helpful Guy

  • The penis can be different degrees of HARD at different times. As an example, I had a woman friend in Ohio said one time that: "There is hard, , and then there is HARD" acknowledging there is a difference in hardness of the penis at different times. A girlfriend told me that I was THICKER than many men she had sex with and therefore it felt it more the first few times I want in her and then her vagina would stretch accordingly.
    It can be 'normal' to have different degrees of hardness, at different times
    I am marking this 'no replies' but from you.

    • I’m aware of this but should be HARD hard each time? Or am I comparing the occasion time it should be hard hard to just his “hard” and that’s completely normal Or did he not get hard enough with me each time and it should have been harder?

    • It is perfectly normal for the penis to have different 'degrees' of hardness, I have felt at times that I was not as 'hard' as I should have been and I could 'feel' the difference myself and when I told my partner, she said I felt hard to her, or hard enough.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 4
  • He was probably semi erect throughout your lovemaking session.

    • Is this normal? Should he be so hard it’s sore each time He definitely wasn’t semi because I saw it and I know what his semi feels like Also we keep going when he finishes and it goes back up so I know I can feel when it’s semi. It’s a completely different feeling

    • It’s definitely more than semi like 70-100 %

  • When I get super raging hard it hurts a little, but in a good way.

  • How was she compared to you?

    • Apparently she wasn’t attractive and smelled

    • So he’s hard with you and you are in better shape. When is he semi?

    • No one said he was semi. He goes between 70-100 during most times and on occasion is super hard

    • Show All
  • There is no extra hard which hurts, its fake claim!